Surviving Infidelity
Reviews and Complaints

SurvivingInfidelity is a website that is supposed to help people who have experienced infidelity in their marriages. However, based on my experience, I would not recommend this site to anyone. In fact, I believe that this site has made my marriage worse, and I hope that my husband will stop using it after reading these reviews.

One of the biggest problems with SurvivingInfidelity is that it seems to be biased towards betrayed spouses. If you are a wayward spouse, you are not allowed to have feelings or opinions. You are expected to bow down to your betrayed spouse and do whatever they command. This is not a healthy way to heal a marriage, and it only leads to more resentment and anger.

Another issue with this site is that many of the members seem to be mindless robots who all think the same way. They believe that every situation is exactly the same, and they do not take into account the unique circumstances of each individual case. This can be frustrating for people who are looking for advice that is tailored to their specific situation.

On the betrayed spouse side of the site, there is a lot of talk about the 180. This is a technique that is supposed to help betrayed spouses regain control of their lives and their marriages. However, many people on the site seem to use this technique as a way to control their spouses and get their own way in the marriage. This is not healthy or productive, and it only leads to more problems in the long run.

Finally, the members of this site seem to focus on one small aspect of your post and ignore the rest. This can be frustrating for people who are looking for advice on a specific issue. For example, I posted a situation in which I knew I was in the wrong and asked for advice on how to make it right. Instead of offering advice, people focused on the mistake I made in my post and ignored the rest of my message.

Overall, I would not recommend SurvivingInfidelity to anyone. The site is biased towards betrayed spouses, and the members seem to be mindless robots who all think the same way. If you are looking for advice on how to heal your marriage after infidelity, I would suggest looking elsewhere.

Survivinginfidelity.com is a website that has been around for quite some time. It used to be a great place to go to when you were dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. However, over the years, it has become a shadow of its former self. The site is still useful for answering questions about what to do next, but it has become a cult of personality around the owner, Deeply Scared, and a few moderators who follow her lead.

The moderators on the site are supposed to be there to help people, but they seem to be more interested in enforcing the will of Deeply Scared. If you cross her, you will be banned without any explanation. It doesn't matter if you have been on the site for ten minutes or ten years, the treatment is the same. You are just a profile, not a person. The rules are more important than the people.

The site is also biased towards women, with fewer male posters. It seems that men with strong personalities are not welcome on the site, as they pose a threat to Deeply Scared's authority. It's a strange situation, but it's true. However, there are still some great people who post on the site, despite the problems.

One member, Annabel, has pointed out that the site is being ruined by the members who are pets of Deeply Scared. These members are allowed to run rampant, while the truly healthy ones leave or get removed. It's a sad situation, but it's the truth.

It's unlikely that Jill, the owner of the site, will respond to any of these comments. She would have to face the fact that they are all consistent and that she might need to take a hard look in the mirror. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen. The best thing that could happen would be for someone else to take over the site and run it with more empathy and less like a personal queendom.

I've been reading SurvivingInfidelity for a few weeks now, ever since I found out about my husband's affair. I was hoping to find some support and advice from the community, but unfortunately, I won't be activating my membership request.

The people on this site seem to be bitter and cruel, wearing their "victimhood" like a badge of honor. They offer unqualified and dangerous advice to strangers who come to the board seeking help. They encourage others to be just as broken and unhealthy in their thought patterns, insisting that it's the norm. But if anyone disagrees, they are belittled and cut off.

The board is supposed to be moderated, but it seems like only those who align with the twisted way of thinking are in charge. For example, the forum rules state that there should be no personal attacks and that posts can't be dragged around from other parts of the site to be discussed in protected areas. However, a betrayed wife was allowed to bring a post from the wayward spouse part of the board to attack an "other woman." The moderators didn't seem to care that there were nasty personal attacks and name-calling involved. When the person being attacked tried to defend themselves, they were admonished, but the behavior of the bitter betrayed was completely ignored.

The most disturbing thing I read on the site was a post in which a woman discussed how selfish her husband's other woman was for trying to commit suicide, and "how dare she." This was followed by a number of similar posts by other betrayed wives, until one member brought up her suicidal ideation due to mental illness and tried to educate these people on the realities of being mentally ill. Her personal life was then attacked, and she was told how selfish she was in relation to a very delicate, private situation she was going through. She was the only voice of reason in a very disturbed group who seem to believe that just because they've been cheated on, they have a right to attack the vulnerable. There was no moderation there either!

If you've been cheated on, please stay away from this site. There is help available to you, and you don't need to get caught up in this dangerous place.

Me and my hubby were members of SurvivingInfidelity and we were really digging it. We were making contributions and learning and found some others with whom we were able to share in the struggle of how to move forward, this was wonderful support to us both. Some of the individuals on SI were so warm, caring, and real; offering varying perspectives, while being open to other's opinions. We felt part of a fellowship of people facing similar struggles and helping each other through. Unfortunately, not all share this mindset.

So, we were offering support to a betrayed husband, and our support offended a WW, one of DS's favorites. The reaction by DS and her WW flying monkeys was fierce, mean-spirited, fast and furious. I defended myself and was banned. This was a completely unexpected and off the wall blow to what I originally thought was a safe and supportive environment. I was devastated and felt betrayed all over again. My husband stood up for a BH, for me, and called them out on their double standards and bullying behavior. He was then banned.

If you want to use the site and stay clear of DS' wrath, in addition to their guidelines, here are the real rules:

Never question DS or a member of her Star, Special Snowflake, Flying Monkey WW Posse.

Never defend yourself to an attack by DS or one of her flying monkeys. Just apologize, cower and treat her like the all knowing goddess she believes herself to be.

Never make a suggestion for any possible improvement to the site.

Never tell a BH that he has a right to feel angry, disappointed and upset that his WW's behavior with her affair partner was more adventurous, open and free. And, especially never tell him he has a right to expect his WW to a) not use the excuse that such acts "trigger" her and so therefore are impossible to even consider and b) seek professional help to figure out how to overcome her block in having a more free and adventurous relationship with her husband.

If a wayward wife claims she has self-inflicted PTSD specifically due to her choice to cheat and is therefore in as much pain as any BS, don't call her out on it.

Cut and paste from outside sources, but absolutely NEVER provide proper attribution.

I think if you follow those rules above, you can probably stay clear of DS and her posse and find a support network with whom you can share common struggles and triumphs. But, be careful, because you never know when you might offend one of DS's favorites and get banned.

I've been a member of SurvivingInfidelity for quite some time now, and I have to say, I've seen some changes over the years. While there used to be a lot of great advice and support, I've noticed that the site has become a bit of a mess lately. As someone who has been betrayed, I understand the need to vent and seek support, but it seems like the site has become a breeding ground for wallowing and whining.

One of the admins, Deeply Scared, seems to be particularly problematic. She's quick to ban anyone who questions her, and she can be quite patronizing and venomous in her responses. It's a shame, because there used to be other voices on the site that balanced things out and provided solid advice. Now, it seems like the site is doing more harm than good.

One of the biggest issues I've noticed is that there are a lot of betrayed spouses who seem to blame their cheating partners for everything wrong in their lives. While I understand the pain and anger that comes with betrayal, it's not healthy to place all the blame on one person. We all have agency in our lives, and we need to take responsibility for our own happiness.

On the other hand, there are also wayward spouses who are encouraged to stay in horrible situations. This is equally problematic, as no one should have to endure abuse or mistreatment. It's important to remember that betrayal is a real part of life, and almost everyone experiences it at some point. But we can't treat it as if it's some special occurrence that gives us a free pass for the rest of our lives.

At the end of the day, we all need to take responsibility for our own healing. We can't rely on others to fix us or make us happy. It's important to grow and learn from our experiences, rather than wallowing in self-pity or blaming others for our problems. While it's understandable to seek support and guidance, we need to remember that we are ultimately responsible for our own lives.

Overall, I'm not sure what's happened to the site. There used to be some great mentors and voices of reason, but now it seems like everyone is just as bad as the next. Maybe it's time to move on and find a new community that can provide the support and guidance we need.

I gotta say, SurvivingInfidelity used to be my go-to site for advice and support when I found out my partner was cheating on me. But man, has it gone downhill. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are still some helpful posts and members on there, but they're few and far between. Nowadays, it seems like the site is overrun with bitter, angry spouses who just want to vent their frustrations and give out dangerous advice.

And don't even get me started on the mods and admins. SisterMilkshake is everywhere, and not in a good way. She's always butting in on threads and acting like she knows everything. And Solus Sto? Used to be a decent resource, but now she's just bitter and blames everything on the wayward spouse. Like, seriously, if a betrayed spouse is cutting or suicidal, that's not the wayward's fault. That's just ridiculous.

And the way they talk to new members? It's like they're trying to scare them off. I saw a post from a woman who had a different outlook than most, and she was actually giving out some really good advice. But she got sick of the wayward-bad, betrayed-good mentality and left after only a month. And I don't blame her.

Honestly, I'd say stay far away from this site. It's not worth the headache. It used to be great, but now it's just a social network for bitter, angry people. Deeply Scared is petty and not very bright, and I hope she gets better soon, but she and MH need to step down and let someone else run the site. It's just sad to see what it's become.

SurvivingInfidelity is a website that claims to offer support and advice to those who have experienced infidelity in their relationships. However, after spending some time on the site, I can confidently say that it is nothing more than a gathering of deluded and misguided individuals who think they are qualified to diagnose complete strangers over the internet.

The site is run by a group of self-important moderators who act as if they have been bestowed with some kind of divine honor. They are quick to ban anyone who dares to have a different opinion or speak the truth. It's clear that they only want to hear the same group-think nonsense from their members.

The site's Delusion Queen, Sister Milkshake, is a complete idiot. She brags about her 'successful reconciliation' with her cheating husband, who had an affair for 7+ years. Let that sink in for a minute. Her husband even admitted that the sex was hot, yet she still took him back and now brags about how successful their reconciliation is. It's clear that she is a Stage IV Clinger who has no self-respect or pride.

The other long-time members of the site are no better. They have sold their souls just to hold onto their cheating partners. They encourage each other to keep going, even when their partners are still not making an effort towards reconciliation. They are deluded and have no sense of reality.

If this is what reconciliation looks like, then I choose death by dismemberment. The site is a farce, and I would not recommend it to anyone who is looking for real support and advice.

My username was cobalt77 and I spent a lot of time on SurvivingInfidelity. I was in a toxic relationship for two years and the site did help me end it, but not without some harsh criticism. They told me I had no standards and that I would become a lonely, sexless person. I was ridiculed anytime I expressed a desire to date or have sex, which was something I had been missing in my sexless relationship. They even suggested I needed therapy for wanting these things. It was frustrating because I just wanted to move on and start a new chapter in my life, but they made me feel like I was too damaged to do so.

I also found it hypocritical that so many people on the site were dating after their own divorces or separations, yet they would condemn me for fantasizing about revenge cheating on my ex-boyfriend. They called me a "mad hatter" for even thinking about it, but so many others on the site admitted to having the same desires. It felt like I was being talked down to and belittled, especially by a user named Catwoman. She always had some sort of condescending advice for me and frequently compared me to her own daughters. It was frustrating because she had stayed with a cheater for 10-20 years before finally leaving, yet she acted like she had all the answers.

Whenever I wrote about my dating life failures, I cringed at the thought of Catwoman finding my thread and commenting on it. During one thread, she even called me a "socially awkward loser liar". It was hurtful and embarrassing, especially since she seemed to be one of the site favorites. I ended up getting banned after I reported her name-calling to a site mod. Overall, I didn't feel any better about myself or my dating life problems after coming to this site. It was a disappointing experience and I'm still not sure why I got banned.

I have to say, I completely agree with the other reviews about SurvivingInfidelity. I joined the site about five years ago when my husband left me for another woman. I received a few supportive posts, which I appreciated, but ultimately sought counseling and worked on building a new life for myself. I refused to let my experience define me, no matter how devastating it was.

However, I would occasionally check back on the site to see how others were doing and offer support. What I found was disheartening. Many of the same members were still wallowing in their pain and refusing to move on. It seemed like their partner's infidelity had become their entire identity. They talked about losing friends and being encouraged to cut them out of their lives. They were told it was okay to still be broken and low-functioning years after the infidelity occurred. They were encouraged to keep bringing up old issues, even if it upset their wayward spouse. And the way they talked about the affair partners was downright disturbing - using words like "cumdumpsters" to describe them.

The site has become a breeding ground for vitriol and hatred. I don't remember it being like this in the past, but now it's a site of pure hatred. The person who runs the site, Deeply Scared, is one of the most pathetic people I've ever encountered. She clearly exercises the one power she holds in her life by running the site. And interestingly, she seems to be all over the male posters on the site in a sleazy manner. If a woman stands up to her, she just bans them. I don't believe she's a "recovered" wayward at all.

There are members on the site who spread hate and bitterness years after their own infidelity occurred. Sadly, the influence of these members and Deeply Scared make vulnerable people think that's how they should feel. The collective damage is horrendous.

One of the most horrific things I read on the site was a betrayed spouse who had "reconciled" with their spouse (which in SI terms just means you don't leave, not that you actually work on building a better relationship and rebuilding your life). Years later, this person carried such hatred for the woman her partner had an affair with that she set up an elaborate plan to destroy her. She secretly set the woman up with a colleague and encouraged him to pretend to be in a loving relationship with her. The woman is now selling her things and giving up her house to move in with this man, who is actually about to move overseas and leave her homeless and possessionless. This woman has a history of self-harm and has children. The betrayed spouse gleefully reports on the fact that he is getting free sex from this woman.

In addition to this, she called child services in an attempt to have the woman lose her children, tried to have the woman fired, and put naked photos of the woman in letterboxes on her street, sent them to the woman's family, and other mothers at her children's sports teams. And all of this was encouraged by members of the site.

For me, this was the final straw. Deeply Scared, if you're reading this, it's time to stop. You are a bitter, broken person who is causing a great deal of damage. Move on with your life. And to any other betrayed spouses out there, stay away from this site. Don't let infidelity define you. Your life is worth so much more, and there is real happiness waiting for you if you let it in. Wallowing in bitterness, hatred, and pain will not help.

SurvivingInfidelity.com is a website that deals with the sensitive topic of infidelity. Whether you are the betrayed partner or the betrayor, infidelity can have a seriously traumatic emotional impact that requires professional therapy and support. This site is not rooted in science; it's not moderated by counselors and anything goes. It's a super-charged powder keg of raw emotion and opinions. The fact that divorcees are offering advice on how to save your marriage from destruction should be your first hint this site is bad news. Group think and anonymous bullying abounds. You either agree with what the group says or you get trounced. Don't dare challenge folks or call BS on their logic; you'll get banned.

There are some high profile martyrs who think they know-it-all and viciously attack others who are vulnerable and hurting. The site clearly has an anti-counselor/anti-faith bias. There's a reason every LMFT, PCC, LISW, and psychologist I've talked to has warned me of the site. Sure, there's a handful of people who are genuinely caring and offer support. The vast majority of members, though, attempt to (unfairly and incorrectly) diagnose complete strangers with mental and personality disorders. They add to the trauma both partners are experiencing and offer seriously dangerous and damaging advice that no counselor would provide.

When your marriage is on the brink, the worst thing you can do is detach emotionally and physically, yet that is the basis of the 180 mind control philosophy pushed by this site. Members openly encourage betrayed spouses to file for divorce to play mind games and control their wayward spouse. They encourage ridiculously controlling and offensive actions such as polygraphs, infidelity funds, and Post-nips. They freely offer legal opinions not understanding every state and country is different.

Do yourself a favor and invest in a good affair recovery therapist. And read Not Just Friends by Dr. Shirley Glass and How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair. You'll spare yourself heart-wrenching angst and mind-warping drama. What else do you expect from a group of loosely moderated, angry, bitter people empowered by anonymity? This isn't therapy. It's a scam for the site operators to make money off hurting people.

UPDATE: Well, in case anyone had any doubts about the validity of my review and characterization of the types of attitudes and personalities at play on SurvivingInfidelity.com... along comes "Kate C." to attack me personally. That alone should speak volumes about the type of experience that awaits users on this site.

It's bad enough that members slander and attack completely anonymous strangers on SurvivingInfidelity.com, but to bring details to an unrelated, third-party site is unconscionable. It says more about who you are as a person Kate than it does me.

The bottom line is this site is clearly not for everyone. We're all different and entitled to our own perspectives and opinions. Feelings are neither right nor wrong (unless you disagree with the majority on this site!) I agree with my LPCC: this site is full of angry, revenge-minded individuals and not worth the price of rent in your head. I can only speak from personal experience, but our struggles were actually more manageable BEFORE we discovered this site. Things have spiraled out of control since we stumbled upon the site. That's what happens when you leave something as important as your marriage in the hands of complete strangers.

BTW, Kate C. -- you should know, you're wrong about several assumptions you've made. But, this is EXACTLY the type of accusatory behavior one can expect from SI, where a group of anonymous strangers from across the globe insert themselves in everyone's personal business and somehow feel morally and ethically justified in making judgments about others. I'm A) NOT a therapist and B) I don't have any other accounts (Admin can easily block IP addresses). Here's some advice: mind your own business and take care of your own problems before you meddle in other people's lives!

I do, however, work in behavioral healthcare administration and find it irresponsible and despicable the way untrained individuals toss around diagnoses and labels such as narcissist, addict, family of origin issues, etc. Such malicious posts A) destroy individual credibility and B) reflects poorly on the character of the individual making such outrageous statements about complete strangers.

Kate C. - Your personal attack is pathetic and sad. You completely abused the purpose of this site to attack me. Look, I'm sorry you've experienced the pain of infidelity in your life. I can't even pretend to know your circumstances (and I'm smart enough not to assume I do) but, what I do know is this: infidelity is the single-most gut-wrenching experience for all parties involved. Kate, I hope you are able to find happiness and purpose in your own life. Our days here on earth are numbered and life is too short to be angry and upset at others. I still read comments on the site (you don't have to log in to see the forums you know) and it breaks my heart to see all the sadness and brokenness in the world. I'm sure every member wishes they could go back to better times. I know I do.

Kate: I hope you feel better after attacking me. Whatever it takes to find the pathway to healing and recovery. Be well.

SurvivingInfidelity is a website that deals with the sensitive issue of infidelity. However, my experience with this site has been nothing short of a nightmare. The site is divided into two sections, one for the betrayed spouses and the other for the wayward spouses. Unfortunately, both sections are filled with people who are bitter, competitive, and downright vile.

The wayward side is particularly problematic. The spouses of the betrayed spouses are constantly posting on this side, making it impossible to trust any of their posts. They seem to be in a contest to see who can be the most "remorseful," which is honestly pathetic. I can't believe their spouses buy into that crap.

The betrayed side is no better. The advice given on this side is almost criminal. There are several posters, such as sunflower30 and Hope2b, who are so bitter and vile that you can't help but understand why their spouses cheated. As a betrayed spouse myself, I found myself rooting for their spouses to dump these entitled, vulgar, vile $#*!es.

Men are particularly screwed on this site. The moderating is terrible, and many awesome members have been banned for speaking the truth. Uncertainone was a brilliant, sage, wayward (although I never thought she was) that posted gems. However, you won't find them anymore because Deeply Scared deleted all of them. That petty little cheater broke her own site's guidelines. Shocking.

In conclusion, SurvivingInfidelity is a horrible site that is terribly run with damaged and dangerous posters. I no longer post on this site, and I know many others who have left for the same reasons. If you're looking for support and advice on infidelity, I suggest looking elsewhere. Reddit and other sites are far, far better than that absolute mess.

I was a member of SurvivingInfidelity some years back. I attended a get-together with a bunch of other members, and during my flight back home (I live on the other side of nowhere), something changed on the site. When I asked about the change, I was summarily banned. What followed was a really long discussion with comments from MH, DS, and their minions that I had been warned by private messages about my posts - which was a blatant lie. None of the admins/mods had ever contacted me privately at all, about anything. Following this episode, many people whom I had met at the GTG, and some whom I had not met but had protested, were also banned.

My takeaway is that you have to be prepared to kiss the [censored] of the owners/admins/mods of the site. If you do, you are golden. If you don't, you are out.

More objectively - I still occasionally look at the site (I'm a writer, gathering material for a novel, lol). It is skewed toward those in "Reconciliation" i.e. willing to put up with all kinds of $#*!e... over and over again. Read the tag lines and listing of "D-days". It's a celebration when a "wayward" supposedly "gets it," whatever that means. On the other hand, there are so many bitter people there who delve into armchair psychology that it is literally sickening.

If you come across this site and are seriously looking for support, run and don't look back. Unless of course, you need fodder for your novel.

Are you someone who has been betrayed by your spouse and is looking for a community to help you heal? SurvivingInfidelity might not be the best place for you. While there are some helpful resources and stories of reconciliation, there are also some members who seem to revel in misery and negativity. If you dare to share a positive story of healing and growth, be prepared for the harpies to swoop in and tear you apart. They seem to think that if they can't have a happy marriage, no one else can either.

It's almost comical how hostile and defensive some of these members can be. They'll deny writing something even though it's right there in black and white, and then they'll enlist their friends to gang up on you too. It's like a bad high school movie, but with grown adults. If you're looking for a good laugh, it might be worth joining just for the entertainment value.

One member in particular stands out as particularly vicious. She's only staying with her husband because she wants him to buy her a new car. Really? That's your reason for staying married? It's no wonder her advice is so terrible. If your spouse isn't meeting your arbitrary and meaningless terms for reconciliation, maybe it's time to reevaluate whether they were ever really committed to the relationship in the first place.

If you're looking for a more positive and supportive community, I would recommend checking out Bloom for Women through an organization called Addo Recovery. They offer a variety of resources and support for women who have experienced betrayal trauma, and the community is much more focused on healing and growth than tearing each other down.

I never thought I'd be writing a review, but I have to warn you about SurvivingInfidelity. I've been a member for years, but it's not what it used to be. It's just a sad excuse for a social club now. I don't remember it being like this when I first joined. The group mentality and the small group of bitter betrayed people who run the site are just too much. They run off anyone who has a moderate, rational viewpoint.

Today, I saw a post from a betrayed person who had cheated on every relationship they had been in. A newer member called them out on it, but the regulars swooped in and coddled them. It's sad that a newbie has more sense than the messes who run every forum on that site. I was betrayed myself and have since remarried, so I know the pain. I've recommended the site to others, but they never last. They leave because of the cult mentality.

I thought they were being too sensitive, but no. It's basically, "We know it all and are the experts. No other way works, and how dare you not be hateful and bitter." The condescending and patronizing tone of their posts is offensive. They gang up on anyone who disagrees. Sister Milkshake still googles and stalks her husband's OW years later, and she makes nothing but excuses for anyone who has been betrayed, no matter how appalling they act.

Even the few who post in the wayward section have become insufferable. It's just sad. This used to be a great site, but now it's nothing more than a club, as another reviewer stated. It's a really pathetic one that no one should want to join. Run. Reddit and other sites are far better than this mess. Baggage Reclaim is a great resource too.

SurvivingInfidelity is a website that claims to offer guidance and support to those who have been cheated on. However, my experience with this site has been far from positive. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it is a dangerous place to seek advice.

One of the biggest issues with SurvivingInfidelity is that it promotes the idea of staying with your cheater, no matter how terrible the situation may be. They push the idea that leaving a cheater is wrong, and that you should always try to work things out. This is incredibly harmful, as it can lead people to stay in abusive or toxic relationships.

Another problem with this site is the presence of Sister Milkshake. This person is held up as some kind of guru, but in reality, she is just another sad example of someone who has settled for a life of misery. Following her advice is a surefire way to end up unhappy and unfulfilled.

The site also promotes the idea that therapy is the solution to all problems. While therapy can be helpful in some cases, it is not a magic cure-all. Cheaters are not "broken" and cannot be fixed with a few sessions of therapy. This kind of thinking is dangerous and can lead to people staying in unhealthy relationships for far too long.

Finally, the site is full of people who are in denial about their partners' behavior. They diagnose their partners with all kinds of disorders, from Narcissistic Personality Disorder to sex addiction. This kind of armchair diagnosis is not helpful and can actually be harmful. It can lead people to believe that their partner's behavior is out of their control, when in reality, they are making a choice to cheat.

In conclusion, I would not recommend SurvivingInfidelity to anyone. It is a toxic and dangerous place that promotes unhealthy relationships and harmful thinking. If you have been cheated on, seek help from a qualified therapist or counselor, not from this site.

Surviving Infidelity is a website that caters to betrayed spouses who are seeking support and guidance after experiencing infidelity in their relationship. As someone who has been through this painful experience, I was drawn to the site in hopes of finding a community of people who could relate to my struggles and offer me some comfort.

At first, I was pleased to find that the site had a wealth of resources available to help me navigate my emotions and begin the healing process. However, as I spent more time on the site, I began to notice a disturbing trend. Many of the members seemed to be focused on seeking revenge against their cheating partners, rather than working towards forgiveness and healing.

I was shocked to see that some members were actually encouraging each other to engage in destructive and harmful behaviors, such as hacking into their partner's email accounts or verbally abusing them in front of their children. While I understand that infidelity can cause intense pain and anger, I do not believe that these types of behaviors are healthy or productive.

Unfortunately, when I tried to voice my concerns about these behaviors, I was met with hostility and told that I was not being supportive enough. It seemed that any criticism of the site's members or their actions was not welcome, and that the only acceptable response was to offer unconditional support and encouragement.

As someone who values honesty and integrity, I found this attitude to be deeply troubling. I believe that it is important to hold ourselves accountable for our actions, even in the face of extreme emotional pain. While I understand that everyone copes with infidelity differently, I do not believe that making excuses for bad behavior is the path to healing.

Overall, I would caution anyone who is considering joining Surviving Infidelity to be aware of the site's culture and approach. While there are certainly some helpful resources available, the site's focus on revenge and bitterness may not be the best fit for everyone. If you are looking for true healing and growth, I would recommend seeking out the guidance of a professional therapist or counselor.

I'm really happy to have found this site where people can share their experiences with infidelity. I've talked to other members and we all agree that this site has had its ups and downs. It used to be a really decent site with members who were suffering, but also had some very strong voices that were far enough along in their healing to provide balance and healthy support. However, it seems like things have completely gone off the rails. I blame the staff and the site owners. DS seems petty and petulant. She doesn't seem to have healed from her own affair and has just substituted SI for another man.

The current members seem to have a collective pathology that is ensuring new members don't stay long and keeps the dysfunctional around for years. There is a member who actually posts about how she married her husband so she could have a baby daddy for her child and then added three more with him. She actually stated that she loves him because of how good he is to her and how well he takes care of her so she can stay home and homeschool. As a betrayed spouse, I find this absolutely appalling. I have never believed there was any excuse for cheating, but seriously? Treating this guy like a walking wallet and now she has him on a very short leash and wonders if she still loves him? She never loved him. Damn, woman. Take care of yourself and your kids! Have some bloody independence and pride.

Sadly, none of the good people that would call that stuff out before are around anymore. Now, it's just the enablers who bitterly wallow in "oh you poor poor thing". They need to shut the site down and start fresh or at least sell/resign for a group that will be in a far better place to offer some genuine support and also call out wayward thought processes on BOTH sides. I'm leaving and I know of several members that barely even go on anymore. You can really tell by how slow the forums are and how few people respond that aren't the "in" crowd.

DS, do the right thing, for once. Step aside. It's time for a change.

Survivinginfidelity is a website that claims to help people who have been betrayed by their partners. However, in reality, it is a place where people wallow in their misery and give terrible advice. I joined the site hoping to find some solace, but instead, I found a bunch of bitter men who were oozing all over the site. It's not surprising that there are very few men on the site who are actually trying to survive infidelity. Most men I know would never be caught dead posting on a website like this.

Betrayal is a part of life, and if you're using this site to deal with it, you're not going to make it. The moderators on the site are a joke. They have made a wayward person, Walkingoneggshells, a guide or moderator. This person brought another man into their home and played footsies with him until he announced that he wanted the betrayed spouse's wife. She LEFT with him, and after he dumped her, she came crawling back and now gives advice on how if you viewed your marriage as less than perfect, THAT was your issue, not the horrific betrayal you concocted to deal with it.

There is another wayward man on the site who is just there to out wayward the other waywards by all his wisdom (lacking completely) and will argue repeatedly how others are just too stubborn to see his brilliant pablum. No dude, you're simply not capable of linear thought processes and reason. But nice try.

I urge people to get help from a good counselor or a wise friend before ever reading on this disaster of a website. Recently, I was notified by another member that a man raped his wife and posted about his actions that were clear rape. The betrayed men on the site glossed over it and told him what a great guy he was and how he needed to get away from his cheating wife. He raped his wife! Nothing from the site admin or mods, and it's just a complete horror. I hope the wives of these men read what they have said and run fast and far.

My experience with SurvivingInfidelity (SI) has been a rollercoaster ride. I'm not one to beat around the bush, I say it like it is. However, my straightforward approach didn't sit well with some members of the community, particularly DS and MH. They suspended my account for a week because I expressed my personal opinion on divorce and suggested a tougher love approach. I also called out SadinAZ for being passive-aggressive in one of my threads. Little did they know, I was going through a tough time with my cheating husband, who was about to return home after being away for months. I needed the support of the SI community, but instead, I felt like they were cutting me off when I needed them the most. I reacted to what I felt was a harsh punishment, and they demanded that I apologize to SadinAZ, who I believe is part of the Collaborative circle jerk thing they have going on at SI. I refused to apologize, and they banned me within minutes of the discussion. I thought I was safe to express myself, but instead, they dropped the ax on me.

Despite my negative experience, I still believe that the concept of SI is brilliant. However, the egotistical jerks who moderate it like to keep their group small. Turntheothercheek was hands down the best person on that website, but they banned her for reasons unknown to me. I think she was too legendary for them. SI is insecure as $#*!.

Since then, I've found a better long-term home at Talkaboutmarriage. They are tough love, but they offer a much more varied opinion to cherry-pick from. They often say, "take what you can and leave the rest" at SI, but when they repeat the same opinion over and over, it's hard to pick and leave when there's little variety in the form of advice. TAM is much better in that respect, and I'm not afraid of being banned for having a minor difference of opinion.

In conclusion, my experience with SI has been a mixed bag. While I appreciate the support I received from some members, the moderators' behavior left a sour taste in my mouth. I believe that SI has the potential to be a great community, but they need to work on their moderation and be more accepting of differing opinions.

I gotta say, SurvivingInfidelity is a real trip. As a teacher, I know that plagiarism tools need a big ol' sample to really get a sense of similarities, but I'm not sure that applies to this site. Full disclosure, I got banned from it (thanks a lot, Deeply Scared, you saint), but I still check it out every now and then just for kicks. It's like a bad movie that you can't stop watching, you know?

My biggest issue with SI is that it seems to encourage people to wallow in their infidelity and make it a defining part of their identity. Like, yeah, I've been cheated on too, but I'm not gonna let that be the only thing people know about me. SI seems to normalize this hyper-victimization, where everyone is either pure and innocent or weak and broken. It's like a Disney movie, but for adults, and it's not helpful.

The moderators recently had to tell people to be nice because some new members felt bullied, which is a good thing, but the old-timers are still a problem. Sister Milkshake is the worst, in my opinion. Her posts are rough and tacky, like she's writing from the corner of a biker bar or something. And her thinking is just all over the place. She can't seem to move on, and it's a terrible influence on others.

I get why people go to SI, but I don't think it's healthy to stay there forever. Infidelity is a terrible thing, but it doesn't have to define you. There's more to life than that.

People, stay away from the company www.survivinginfidelity.com. I was a member within a year, but it was waste of my time and money. Also, it was mentioned that the company provided support and help in situation, when your lovely person betrayed you. But they didn’t help or listen and some of the forums were closed at all, so all members weren’t satisfied with such attitude. Don’t register.

Don’t visit the website www.survivinginfidelity.com. I joined it recently and thought that it would help me to improve my relationship with my spouse. I was disappointed, ‘coz the website provide really useless tips and advices. I simple wasted my time and nothing changed. I don’t advise other couples to use this website, ‘coz it wouldn’t help you. I wonder if there are other people, who had the same experience. Let’s share views about this website.

I recently divorced with my husband and had tough time, and my friend advised me to visit the website www.survivinginfidelity.com. So I registered on the website and started to attend different chats and forums. But I wasn’t happy with that, because all people from this website were addicted to attention. They posted and tried to help in order to get positive reviews and admiration. They didn’t care about you and your feelings. Don’t recommended website. Post your reviews and comments.