Find A Grave review: Scam 182

I lost my daughter in 1978. She was an infant and her headstone on find a grave is a way of keeping her memory alive with some who never knew her. I don't see the point in the complaint. I don't see the anguish. Do you want your child forgotten? If so, why get a headstone in the first place, just use a rock so you can find her. I mean, it's a "public" cemetery, not one in private family hands and as mentioned in a earlier post, when you die the privacy is gone, period. So I am very sorry for your loss, as I still have pot gotten over mine, fortunately for me, I now have a nine year old granddaughter from my son. Doesn't bring back my daughter, but at least helps. Filing a complaint with local law enforcement though, is just plain wrong, a waste of taxpayer money. If you don't want her known, then remove her headstone or put her in a more private place (urn). Sorry if that sounds harsh, but yes I have been there, and what your feeling now, will not be shared by other relatives 50 years from now as they look at your daughters memorial.

I lost my daughter in 1978. She was an infant and her headstone on find a grave is a way of keeping her memory alive with some
who never knew her. I don't see the point in the complaint. I don't see reasons for the anguish.

Do you want your child forgotten? If so, why get a headstone in the first place, just use a rock so you can find her. I mean, it's a "public" cemetery, not one in private family hands and as mentioned in a earlier post, when you die the privacy is gone, period. So I am very sorry for your loss, as I still have not gotten over mine, fortunately for me, I now have a nine year old granddaughter from my
son. Doesn't bring back my daughter, but at least helps. Filing a complaint with local law enforcement though, is just plain wrong, a
waste of taxpayer money. If you don't want her known, then remove her headstone or put her in a more private place (urn). Sorry if that sounds harsh, but yes I have been there, and what your feeling now, will not be shared by other relatives 50 years from now as they look at your daughters memorial with love or to research their kin.

The whole point of a grave stone is to publicly honor the person's life. Whether that is seen in person or photographed and posted online, I guess I don't see the difference. I understand how it would feel really wrong to have a young child, recently gone, posted on the site but I really don't think there's much to be done about it. The information is public, online or not. Everyone feels differently about this though. I've done a small number of photo requests from the site at a local cemetery. That is, relatives asking that someone who lives locally go document a grave because they can't do so themselves.

I don't love how Find A Grave is run and it irks me that much of the information on the site is really terribly inaccurate, but presented in a manner that makes many people take it as fact, and impossible to correct or contribute to with the territorial attitude that the managing of memorials seems to foster. However, I owe much to volunteers on the site who have posted information that I would never have been able to obtain without a major roadtrip with a quick visit to the website. It's a wonderful starting point for research, though I'd never, ever take anything I found on the site as credible in itself.

For what it is worth, when I fulfill a photo request, I never stand on a grave. There's an etiquette to these things, whether anyone follows it or not.

I am absolutely revolted! My sister's grave is on this site, Eilleen Sien of Colonia, N.J Contacted me by phone and Face Book, my Family DID NOT WANT this information posted! I told her I would not give her the death notice or pictures, she harassed me and it was done anyway without our knowledge. It is a disgusting desecration on my sister's grave and memory! I really do not care what other people think, or if it is public record. Did I post the information of the drunk teenager that killed her? NO I DID NOT! My sister's children are in their 20's they do not want to go to or see her grave. TAKE IT DOWN you ###!

Every one listen, this website is a blessing to everyone that's on it, it was put here to view memorials and find peace. It was not put here for it to be a tug of war or a battleground everyone must follow the rules and regulations and not step on anyone's feet. deleting precious hard work that someone has done is very disrespectful. I have visit grave site that someone had taken a picture of headstones by the time I got there years later the headstone was clean and more visible. I took a picture of that visible headstone and attach it to the memorial I did not delete someone else work that is totally disrespectful. we are adults providing precious information to those who cannot visit a grave site. Be mindful of what you say and you must have respect in dealing with this. I have only been a member maybe 6 months I would never delete anyones work. so please everyone do not turn this beautiful website into a horror story. There was a find a grave worker in Bastrop County, Texas I made a photo request of one of my great great great uncle who was born in the 1800's this gentleman took his time to go and take that picture when it was uploaded on the website and I got a email that the pictures once there I was in tears and was so grateful because I do not live near the county.So will everyone please calm down and do not turn this into a savage match, because this website is a blessing to some of us maybe not all but there are some of us out here that appreciate this website and wish it to stay on the website. God bless you all !

I arrived on this page because I just had a conversation with my husband that when I pass away not to have an obituary published in newspaper and to only have a headstone with my name, no date of birth or death. I also discussed talking to attorney to see if I could get some type of restraining order to prohibit my grave site from appearing on ###. I want to RIP. I am a private person in life and I want privacy when I die. If that means I have a rock to mark my burial site, so be it. I can see that people have different points of few, but some posts here have been rather tackless, almost cruel and cruel. I hope in the near future that there will be a legal challenge to ### as to whether they have a property right to post gravesites without permission for those who have passed away "after" a set period of time, similar to release of census records. Finally, ### is neither all bad or all good, but some issues need to be addressed in civilized matter and in fairness to all users.

I've created over a thousand memorials and thousands of photos, some were by request, others not. I've received over 100 thank you emails from people who were searching for a loved one and happened upon the memorial or the photo of the loved one or their headstone. I've only received 1 complaint telling me (mind you not asking me) to remove the memorial. I respect a families wishes whenever possible but in this instance it appears it was his daughter wanting it removed although her siblings wanted it to stay. I asked that they please have the spouse or parents of that person contact me and I'd be glad to do whatever they wished but I wouldn't remove it from just that email. I never heard back so it's still there. ----- And as far as "trampling on a grave" I am ALWAYS careful to NOT step on any grave (provided there's still any indication of one) and use my zoom lens instead. ----- I can't tell you how many old cemeteries I've documented that were in such total disrepair and vandalism that you couldn't read the stones even after you put them back together. THAT's THE REAL DISHONOR. They need to be documented while they still exist so future family members can honor their memory too. I think it's very selfish to want to keep them to yourself. Stone doesn't last forever . . . especially those from earlier days.

I had been a member for several years. Added almost 3000 memorials. And almost as many gravestone photos. Some person going by Ladybug (member #[protected]) {note doesn't even use a REAL name, address, email, etc.} - had parents of someone posted in the wrong cemetery, so I photocopied the page from the cemetery book & posted it on the pages for her parents to show correct place of burial, Ladybug threw a fit, reported me & I got the boot; Ladybug was rude as heck to me in several emails, but I guess that doesn’t matter. I didn’t even get an email from Find A Grave to warn me.
I can still look at stuff, I just can’t add anything, correct anything, or do ANYTHING at all. Not even the ones I paid to sponsor!

I wanted to create a memorial for my grandfather and grandmother on Find A Grave. When I checked, I fond that somebody already did and the info is all wrong as well. I asked for a transfer but got NO RESPONSE.
Does it occur to them that maybe just maybe its a memorial site and that the FAMILY might want to create the memorial and have correct information on their loved ones memorials.
Yes, I know what they are supposed to do.. They are supposed to transfer but don't.
God forbid you had a famous relative?

When someone has refused to transfer a grave site, I have gone on and duplicated it with an explanation. When I add names, etc. I gladly turn them over to family members who want to put information and pictures. I feel it is their family member and they should be allowed to honor them. Then someone sends a correction I will ask if they are family. It isn't about money or the amount of headstones I can download, it is about carrying on family history. I am amazed at people who have done 20, 000+ headstones, don't they have a life. I have been in a cemetery when a church group of about 30 swooped in and started downloading headstones. By the time I got home 2 hours later my family was already loaded. Wasted my time...Find A Grave has changed a lot since it changed hands. Not happy about it.

You must ask permission from the deceased person's family before you take those headstone photos. This is very basic courtesy.
Ask for permission. Not just steal.

Even when you use facebook other person photo, u must also ask owner permission. Unless you really know that person, u can directly share or steal. Even if it's only photo share, if you not ask owner. Owner block you. Are you going to say "facebook is public, not yours. If you not wish photo being shared, dont put"

Are you going to blame the owner (Photo copyright owner) by saying that facebook is really public, every photo you put can be stolen anytime by any online person. If you really not wish photo being f###ed by starngers, dont put them on line

Man it's their photo not your photo.

The headstone is the dead and their family, not yours.

This is not even "precious hard work" when you steal the headstone photo and put on your own findagrave.com

Findagrave has a rule, family and friend of dead can report stolen headstone photo to findagrave staff and staff can remove the page down and suspend that member (Creator)

STRONGLY Agree. Find A Grave contributors are not responsible for the content of the memorials they create. As a result, misspelled names, incorrect dates of birth and dates of death, unrelated family members... and the list goes on, are written in these memorials. It is both hurtful and embarrassing to family members. Find A Grave is eventually going to be sued and it will undoubtedly take down the site and their business. All because they are not respectful of families and not responsible for the content.

The information on six posts are false and falsely placed according to statements of family and or records listed. family names are listed incorrectly, incorrect spellings of names, incorrect places of birth, incorrect pictures of where bodies are buried and, incorrect lineage noted. information was given on three people is on people that are still alive ; so cause of death listed incorrectly, since people are still alive, not d e a d! I am not dead, yet!
this fraud is a sociopathic means of lying and a person getting their false praise and getting money for their prostitution.

Well for all the money findagrave is apparently making if they want my help fulfilling the hundreds of requests in my local graveyard then they'e going to have to pull some money out of that old sock and put up. I got a kick from this off their faq page:

Can I charge money as a Photo Volunteer?

No. Find A Grave does not allow Photo Volunteers to charge money for volunteering.

^^^^^Seems to me that they are taking advantage of the people doing the photography. Sure, sure if you're anal enough to enjoy all that cataloging and picture takin, etc then fine, but your getting screwed and smiling about it... Might want to learn some self respect. Get those cheap skates to pay you! They're making a tidy bundle off of your work.

Hun, Your daughter's grave and headstone are in a PUBLIC PLACE...people use find a grave for RESEARCH reasons, and to SAVE these names for posterity...they do it because THEY CARE..not for any money or fame . MANY people are SEARCHING for their relatives, and they can not afford to fly to every cemetery in America...Thank God people CARE ENOUGH to go to the cemeteries and take pictures, and post them on the ONLY FREE SITE of it's kind, find a grave! In memory of your daughter, why don't you start a family tree of your own, for your relatives and descendants to enjoy. That way she will be REMEMBERED, and not forgotten ...

I think Find a Grave is a great site, but, I'm a little concerned with some certain people postings, especially on my ancestors that have been posted by people who do not do the research or who put in the wrong information. That shows me they DID NOT do the research correctly on the memorial. For example, I have a cousin whose memorial was posted, no picture of the headstone, no information on all her pass husbands ( she was married 6 times, only one mentioned because it was on her obituary which was posted in an El Paso, Texas newspaper. I looked at this persons profile and it showed this person had over 1, 000.000 memorials posted, only been a member for 5 years. That also shows me that this person's hobby is spending constant hours on Find a Grave for her/his number count. I've got 10 memorials, TEN, and have been a member for 14 years on Find a Grave. So what does that tell you about this person with over 1, 000, 000 memorials added?

I am not going to get into a long heated debate with anyone on here so let me get that out of the way first. Second, for anyone on here who has lost a loved one and finds the work we do (freely without pay and out of the kindness of our hearts... most of us anyway) "disgusting, or that it infringes on your privacy, copyright laws and personal property", I am sorry that you feel that way. My condolences to you and your family.

Next... disgusting is a point of view. I find the time that I put in is 99.9% of the time greatly appreciated by family that is looking to connected to those ancestors or family members that have left this world. I do it because it helps many people to feel closer to a loved one. And if we are being honest, in the moments of grief and loss no one wants to look like an *** by taking a photo at the funeral and the pain families struggle with for weeks, months and even years later prevent most families from ever doing it. Most of us do it to honor your family member and to ensure in 100 years, their descents have a way to feel more connected. You might be surprised to know that many people find the image of their ancestor's headstone more real than a photo of them taken when they were alive.

Next... Unless a person trespasses on to a privately owned plot/cemetery that is NOT owned or operated by a non-profit or the county/state, we are not infringing on your privacy. There are very few privately owned cemeteries in the US. Graves do not have copyrights either. Copyrights are used for written material for the purpose of "making lawful copies". Furthermore, nobody actually "owns" a grave. While the gravesite or plot is purchased and owned by the person who will be buried there, or by a family member as needed when someone passes, it cannot be sold (thus it is not property owned). It is essentially a long term lease from the cemetery. The actual property is owned by the cemetery or county/state and what you, me and the rest of the world "owns" is the space set aside for our loved ones.

I know this might be making some of you angry and further irritated with us "disgusting gravers", but the reality is no laws are broken by taking a photo of a headstone. For all legal purposes, it is not your loved one, it is a memorial for your loved one. You put it there to honor them and share your love for them in a public place for anyone who is in the cemetery to see, behold and treasure for generations to come. Being bitter and calling people names because you are upset is wrong. Not everyone who takes photos of graves is unwilling to respond. Not everyone who provides this service (and yes it is a service... maybe not to you NOW but to future generations who will be very happy someone like me gifted my time and love for family history to make sure their ancestor could be found.. definitely).

All in all, I will say it again. I am sorry that your loved one has passed. My heart goes out to you. I don't know who took your daughter's photo (or anyone else in here). What I do know is this... tracking down ancestor graves is HARD work. I can spend DAYS combing a cemetery with over 15, ooo headstones to find just one. But when I find it, post it and notify the requestor that are overjoyed. For me, THAT is worth all the complaining offered by a few families who are upset their loved one's photo is on **** or any other site. If anyone asks me to remove their family members headstone I will gladly do so, if you can prove you are a direct relative. Why? Because you are not their ONLY relative and others requested or may want to see it.

When I started genealogy research 2 years ago I was grateful to find information on loved ones. But this past month has been a nightmare. Was unaware of postings for my 8 year old daughter and recently deceased mother-in-law. Contacted manager of my daughter's "site" who has refused to remove information I object to from daughter's bio or agree to transfer the memorial to me. My daughter was kidnapped, sexually assaulted and murdered and the manager posted numerous newspaper articles about this in the bio section. Seriously? Why would anyone think it's OK to post biographical information like this about an 8 year old? Since my daughter's crime is unsolved I have reported this to the detectives on the case. My mother-in-law's site is totally inaccurate; says where she's buried. However she has not had a burial service, I'm looking at her urn right now and her obituary stated "private internment held at a later date". Yet the "manager" of this site refuses to correct the error after I informed them that I'm a family member and provided them with a link to the named cemetery which lists the names of all individuals buried there. Manager bases their reasoning for not correcting this on a cemetery advertisement that was below my loved one's obituary and responded that "you don't know what you're talking about." It's bad players like these that makes you question the motives of some of the [censored] contributors.

Several times I've asked for corrections on my Mother's memorials. Nothing has been done and I'm upset!

There are spelling errors and incorrect info. How may I get my issues addressed? I have contacted find a grave through their website and received one response but no corrections!

As someone who does genealogy work I find “Find a Grave” invaluable. I don’t think anyone takes photos of headstones to hurt anyone but only to help others find where their ancestors/relatives were laid to rest and to preserve history. Oftentimes, there is information about about other members of that persons family included. It may seem shocking to someone unfamiliar with this who’s just lost someone young, but please know nothing bad is intended.

"3% of 71 complaints were resolved." I have little hope now.

I am the mother of an infant son and the steps did not work in getting a transfer.

My father wants his own Grandfather's Memorial. No response in weeks.

Many others requested. No answer.

Is this a joke? This is unacceptable and false information by this company.

The people who are whining seem to be unhinged and projecting whatever mental problems they have onto others who do findagrave as a hobby.

As many have said, if you don't want a photo of a loved one's headstone online...do not get one. Do not list an obituary either. Make it so your family member never existed so you can go on life trying to never think of them again and wipe them from the annals of existence.

But if you have already done those things, you can log off and move into the woods like the Unabomber did and shelter yourself away from the Internet and information so you don't happen to search for and find things you personally find unpleasant.

I know you have mental issues. You don't realize this. Get help and cope with things you're ignoring. The people posting these things aren't the problem.

As far as issues with management of your close family members, keep trying and hopefully they eventually fix their issues. There are indeed some power tripping idiots on the site that overzealously guard entries that belong in the hands of others.