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Find a grave.com photographed my 6 year old daughter's headstone and put it online. I was aghast when it popped up on my monitor. I have contacted the prosecutor and state police. The prosecutor says that I can file a civil complaint about this infringement against the guy who took and posted the picture. This person will not answer my emails and the police have located him. I feel this infringes on my privacy, copyright laws and personal property of mine being placed on the internet for advertising purposes. I'll write again to let everyone know the outcome of this.
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i love the site but can understand why you would be upset about strangers photographing your child's headstone and placing it online but i'm not understanding what you mean about advertising. it's a website where people can go to and pay respects to deceased loved ones. i feel that it should be up to the family of the deceased to upload photos but i think you'll have a hard time with your complaint. Find-a-grave aren't the one's that takes the photos. ordinary people like you and me volunteer to take the photos.
you forgot to add that those ordinary ppl who are out there taking photos, some on privately owned cemeteries have not bothered to ask permission of the living..
In my state all cemeteries are public domain.
That is something that most people do not understand. Graves are in the public domain. Of course someone will always try to claim ownership of something but I do not think anyone can be sued for taking a photo of a headstone and posting it on [censored]. They can ask to have the photo removed and out of respect to the person complaining, the [censored] member should remove it. [censored] even states that is what should be done.
BEWARE of findagrave! They have a "C" rating with the Better Business Bureau and I have just filed my own complaint against them and wanted to share it with you here. They can delete all your memorials at their own whim!
Findagrave is a website that catalogs obituaries and burial places for genealogists. One can create "memorials" for their loved ones and others and list their burial locations for future generations. Many people also use it as a hobby and put in endless hours of cataloging obituaries and burial locations of strangers so that other people might be able to find their loved ones. In the last few months I have logged a hundred or more hours creating memorials and had over 300. I cataloged my family, people I've worked with in show business and alumni from my high school. I also linked my high school alumni memorials to a website I run for my school. Yesterday an issue arose from a memorial I created for a famous actor that passed away. Their rules state that you are always to do a search before creating a memorial. If one already exists, you're to work with the creator of that memorial on any changes or additions. Another person came along and knowingly created a NEW memorial for the actor. I made it known to her and she defiantly would not take it down. So I contacted the administrators for help. They actually sided with her, even though she admitted to breaking the rules, and gave her credit for the memorial. After a couple of heated emails with administrator Robert Edwards (who goes by the screen name "bobnoxious") He sent me an email stating that he was banning me from the site. So I went in to my account and sure enough had no access. I looked up my mother's memorial and it was gone! Further research showed that ALL of my memorials were gone...they had all been deleted! All that work I spent entering these memorials was for nothing. And they weren't just punishing me, they were punishing all the people that would have used those memorials in the future. It also rendered all the links on my alumni website useless. I have since written to the owner of the website Jim Tipton a few times, with no response. Since then I've been doing online research and have found that I am not the only one that they have done this too. Wikipedia lists conflicts with this company stating: "allegedly arbitrary actions by administrators particularly with regard to "memorials" and "privacy" concerns of families and relations regarding recent deaths." The website pissedcustomer.com has quite a few detailed descriptions of problems not dissimilar to mine at: http://find-a-grave.pissedconsumer.com/. Another detailed description here: http://deathreferencedesk.org/2010/03/15/crowd-sourcing-genealogy-at-find-a-grave/. Look, if I broke rules, fine. But let me know and allow me to correct my ways; but don't just ban me and delete all my work! But I DID NOT break the rules. In fact it was because I showed them that I hadn't broken them and that they rewarded another member FOR breaking the rules, that they arbitrarily banned me and deleted all my work. They should not be allowed to do this to people. We are talking about special, precious and often emotional memories of our loved ones. This should NOT be taken lightly. You don't delete people's work that helps anyone who visits the site, simply because you have a beef with that person. You don't offer a service to catalog information, get bent out of shape and then resend the offer. If they can arbitrarily delete anyone's work at their whim, what's the point of anyone working on making their site better and more complete? Sure, it is a free site, but they take in money from website advertising that bombards you while you work, and charge $5 if you want special privileges on a memorial. Even if you pay the $5, the possibility of that memorial disappearing forever is very, very possible.
It is beyond disgusting to have advertisements for tampons and beer on the gravesite memorial page of deceased people with a "pay five bucks if you want these ads to go away". It is also beyond disgusting that "gravers" can hoard mass memorial records as long as they are two generations removed from originating family members, even if they have absolutely no relation to the family at all. ### condones and supports and implements moral and ethical abuses of our deceased that would make anyone with any kind of conscience want to puke. In doing so they attract dirtbags who are the primary people they call gravers adding these records and then hoarding them or trading them like baseball cards for ratings. The only recourse an actual human being can take is to request if not beg for a record transfer and then pay five dollars per memorial to get rid of the humiliating advertisements so their loved ones are not being disrespected in such a deplorable manner. I shutter not only for what I see happening at ### but for how this opens the door for even worse violations to come with other such companies in the future. Our society has really stooped to a whole new level of disgrace. Very sad to see.
Since then I've been doing online research and have found that I am not the only one that they have done this too. Wikipedia lists conflicts with this company stating: "allegedly arb itrary actions by administrators particularly with regard to "memorials" and "privacy" concerns of families and relations regarding recent deaths."
I just visited Wikipedia.org Can find no such conflicts listed.
This statement does not exist
"allegedly arb itrary actions by administrators particularly with regard to "memorials" and "privacy" concerns of families and relations regarding recent deaths."
HOW MANY OTHER LIES ARE YOU MAKING UP AND SPREADING?
Manure for the garden perhaps?
What I find sad here is that [censored] takes seriously our complaints and I have had experiences where people did hoard memorials and would not transfer anyone to any requests for a transfer. I know a family member was transferred to me by [censored] when I asked for it and sent them emails showing I had requested it and was totally ignored. Come on! Be fair here. You complain about $5.00 when the website is totally free? You are obviously ignorant of the way things are done on there and if you don't like it, then don't use it. I hate it when someone wants everyone to be disgruntled just because you are disgruntled.
@ july1962: Move on already. I Googled your name and it's plain to see you ticked a website admin off and so what, ya got booted off A FREE SITE! Did you pay for sponsoring a memorial on Find A Grave? NO YOU DID NOT. I checked your cached December page (which can still be viewed). You spent NO $$$ on Find A Grave. Sure you volunteered 22 pictures. Big deal. Some members have hundreds and some thousands of volunteered photos taken. What is wrong with you? This isn't a situation for the BBB. You have only been on Find A Grave for five months and you begin bullying members who have been on for years, because they post a memorial page? You have some serious anger issues. It's just a website. Get a life! Put your time to better use and take care of your sister.
meanwhile those gravers as you call them, trespass on private owned cemeteries and family plots to take photos without permission.. I posted a friends passing yesterday and a graver already has her "memorial" posted on findagrave with my exact words.. and of course wrong info...
I call what they are doing the Newbie Syndrome. Many people like to be negative and they are bored.
GraverAlways, some people are just cheap and then complain about the free too.
All the cemeteries around here are public. I'm not sure I have ever seen "private cemeteries".
Cemeteries come in handy when u have to take a leak while there u can also take a photos .
I'm sorry for your loss. Find-A-Grave is simply a site that allows many of us to research our ancestors and pay respect to our loved ones who are buried where we can't easily visit them. If she is buried in a public cemetery then you really don't have a complaint. It's possible that even a family member that lives far away requested a photo in order to pay their respects. Consider it a service to those who loved your daughter but can not visit her grave. It's meant to be a good thing. I'm sorry you feel otherwise.
A to July1969. You keep copy and pasting this very same post all over the place. I deleted your post from my blogg because I feel that you probably brought this on yourself. You have to really screw up for Find-A-Grave to kick you off. They love their volunteers! You need to get a life and move on.
I was a member of find a grave for over 2 years and had submitted over 6, 000 memorials; all have been deleted. I never had any problems in all that time. I made the mistake of complaining to someone who was posting to Oakwood Cemetery in Montgomery, Alabama that she had duplicated some of my memorials. This person had posted over 16, 000 memorials and told me she was in charge of this cemetery, not to bother with posting anything. I think she had my memorials deleted and replaced with hers. I am not even going in to all the nasty emails that she sent me. It is a shame that someone like this has the power to do what she is doing. This happened a few times and I did complain to find a grave with no response. I don't think she wants anyone posting to this cemetery but her. This seems to be my only mistake. I have tried to call & speak with someone [protected]) but have gotten no response. I have emailed them and gotten no reponse. This was a lot of work to just be deleted. If I did something wrong let me know and I will correct it. I am posting here to let everyone know this can happen to anyone who post memorials on find a grave; you have no rights at all. I will follow up with a complain to the BBB. Maybe if enough people complain something will change for the better.
There is this crude major contributor, Megan Heyl who got me banned because I complained about her cyber flatulence. The time b4 that I was banned because I told one of FindAGrave's major contributors she was wrong where my Great Grandparents were buried. The dizzy person was so eager to claim another memorial she didn't bother checking things out. Similar names do not necessary translate into the same person. I am an old man and don't take [censored] off anybody. I also know where my Great Grandparents r buried. As a boy I was in marching band. On Memorial Day our school band put on a little program at the local cemetery where they r buried. Megan Heyl and the rest of these major contributors can shove it. They don't know as much as they think they do. And while they r it a good cleaning out might help. Must be horribly uncomfortable being so constipated. Dort!
She has declared this cemetery as hers. I think it is sick. Montgomery is my hometown and I have lots of relatives in this cemetery. I just hope to warn people about find a grave. Be prepared to have someone else take over all your postings and take credit for your work. If anyone else is having trouble please contact me. I am contacting BBB in hopes that they can help me. I know there are lots of people complaining but we need to let our voices be heard and count for something.
There are a bunch of nutjobs on findagrave. People who have nothing better to do. The admins are many of them. Please continue to report to the BBB.
A morbid person named June posted memorials on my wife and my brother. Then this same person left derogatory comments about me on those same memorials. I complained to Find a Grave and instead of removing the comments, they removed the memorials even though I am a member of Find a Grave. June sent me terse and very smart *** emails which I forwarded on to Find a Grave. I have discovered that the "field" reps (like June)who wander around cemeteries making pictures are all powerful in controlling individual memorials. Find a grave is a cruel scam site. All driven by money.
even worse the june volunteers enter into privately owned cemeteries to take their photos.. without the permission of the board of directors or owners of the plots. when asked to remove them they refuse..
far worse than that are those gravers who haunt fb to steal from pages where someone tells classmates of a classmate death.. happened yesterday.. and worse the info was incorrect..
UPDATE: Since I last posted in December and filing a better business bureau complaint against them, I finally heard from owner Jim Tipton and we talked it out. He's a very cocky guy and basiclly said: "It's a pet peeve of mine when people submit BBB complaints regarding Find A Grave. The BBB sees them as a waste of time because they are typically policy disputes, not customer/business disputes. If there's no exchange of money, they basically aren't interested. And, I, personally, certainly see BBB complaints as a waste of time. I let them sit on my desk for weeks or months and then I finally call and explain the situation and they dismiss them."
He reinstated my account (partially) and all my memorials (so clearly nothing is ever truly deleted. I then canceled my BBB complaint.
Since then, the problems all started up again. I submitted several famous memorials only to have them all shot down or given to someone else. Each time something would happen, I would carefully outline it and send it to Jim. No responses.
Then out of the blue, I could no longer access parts of my account. I couldn't go in and change any of my preferences or see my profile page. It appears it was blocked. My memorials were all there, though. So I continued to work on them and wrote to Jim asking why. No response.
I found I could do things, but had to go in backwards. I had to go to one of my memorials, and if I wanted to see my virtual cemeteries, click on that person's virtual cemetery and go in that way. I kept writing to Jim asking what was going on. No response.
So I wrote to him and told him that I was reinstating the BBB complaint and was going to contact the US Copyright Office, the US Attorney General and several of the large media outlets showing how FindAGrave sits back and allows for the stealing of copyrighted materials to be posted on their site.
No response.
Then the other day I was on my high school alumni website (that I am the administrator of) and clicked on a classmates link to his memorial on FindAGrave. It came up as non existent. Crap! I started clicking on others, the same thing. So I checked my mom's memorial and sure enough, it was deleted.
All of my memorials have been deleted AGAIN! Guess he finally got wind of my complaints!
I've also written to Ancestry.com outlining all of this and requesting that they look into starting a similar service there. They wrote back and told me I'm not the first to complain to them about FindAGrave and that they would indeed check with their programmers and see about offering the "memorial" services.
I know many of you LOVE this site and I did too. But there are too many egos there ruining things for others, and they can't be allowed to destroy hundreds of hours of someone's work (that deals with their loved ones) with the click of a computer key.
I will now work tirelessly to see that either things change there, or the site is taken down and revived somewhere else. No one controls or destroys my work and gets away with it.
Also, are you all aware that if you delete a photo from a memorial, it's never really deleted unless you specifically write them and ask that it be deleted from the server. Even then, can you really trust that they'll do it?
I have been on [censored] for almost 15 years now and I have several thousands of memorials. Famous memorials are rejected because of strict rules pertaining to them. I have never had one accepted and I am not going to report it to the BBB. I am sure that you have been labeled a trouble maker and nobody wants to do any favors for a trouble maker. I love [censored] and in spite of the complainers about it, I am not swayed by those who just want their own way. Have a good day if you are able to quit complaining long enough to enjoy it
What a sad world you must live in to think you're entitled to having a free website work the way that YOU want it to.
@graveralways While it is a free site to use, it is a commercial site making money off of the hundreds of hours of work that I put in there. They make money off of sponsored memorials, some of which were mine. I had 500-600 memorials deleted, the person above had 6000 memorials deleted. That's only two out of hundreds of people that have been scorned by this website. Clearly you're a findagrave cronie...and it doesn't matter how long someone is a member there. The owner and administrators can screw with you whether you've been there 15 years or 15 days.
Seriously? Firstly, to those that have VOLUNTEERED to put in the time and energy into this website. There is NO EXCHANGE OF SERVICES. You didn't purchase anything. This place isn't exactly a "business". They have advertisers to be able to support the cost of the server, etc, but they aren't selling anything to YOU. It's a private website. You haven't walked into Kroger or Walmart and have been SCAMMED. Even so, THOSE businesses have the right to say who can and cannot be on their property (it IS private property). There ARE people that have caused problems at businesses and have been issues TRESPASS notices (they are not able to return=BANNED). This website is NOT owned by you.
As far as pictures, etc go...well...you've decided to put someone in a cemetery where people can walk into it a good portion of the day. You cannot stop someone from taking a picture there just as you cannot stop someone from taking a picture of your HOUSE (provided they are not on your property). There is no crime taking pictures of headstones. And, let's be honest: when you DIE, you are public record. Ever check out a social security death record? EXACTLY. Even your SOCIAL number is public.
Have you truly spent time on Ancestry.com? Give me your full name, state you live in (I don't need a city), and a year of birth...I bet I can pull up NUMEROUS previous addresses for you. Maybe even yearbook pictures...and things about your parents, grandparents, siblings that even YOU didn't even know.
For me, I like to add cemetery records...especially the older ones. I feel TERRIBLE for those "forgotten" people who died and whose children, grandchildren, etc are probably gone, too, and they don't get visited. I like to pay my respects and I like to try and imagine what their lives were like. Were these people doctors? Lawyers? Farmers? These things added to ### are NOT done in spite. So GET OVER YOURSELF.
Bottom line: if there is no crime, MOVE ON. Be pissed all you want and maybe next time you will consider cremating and keeping an urn at home for nobody else to see.
you must be JOHN MEINERT
Good for you! I think it is great that someone can visit their relatives for free on [censored] and not telling anyone that they will be glad when they get to the grave someday. Someday is now. I appreciated your post and at first it sounded just what I would have said too!
meinmichigan
I find it amazing that you are able to empathize with people who have been dead for so long that nobody visits their graves anymore; yet you will tell a mother of a 6 year old child to get over herself for feeling violated. Maybe if you could try and imagine how it feels to have your child torn from you after only 6 years you might be able to empathize with a grief stricken mother just as easily as you can for the those who have been gone so long their graves are not being visited.
I just want these crazy people to stay off my loved ones graves! What ever happened to respecting the dead? I know standing on top of their resting place is not respect!
Then change the laws because they are in the public domain. If you don't want a picture posted on [censored] then ask for it to be removed and quit trying to impose your ideas on everyone else.
Are there only like two or three of you sane people on this thread? It's insane, how can people possibly believe that taking photos of gravestones on public domain is wrong?!
Redhatter please understand that no one cares about your genealogy! No one cares how you feel about this. The one thing I care about is how this woman feels about Jim Tipton exploiting someones deceased child for a buck.
My experience with Find A Grave is that perfect strangers to anyone on earth can take pictures of headstones, walk through cemeteries, or post memorials from county records... and they never have to let a relative of the deceased have control over the memorial page created by them. They can make mistakes, post only years and not dates of days, and refuse to update biographies of your loved ones. BEWARE of anything to do with Find A Grave. Just let them stew in their own grave. If you go there, you will be insulted by the people who run the site, post on the site, and live on the site. It is how they feel important. Nothing more.
Well meinmichigan there were exchanges of services and it wasn't all free. The time I took to take pictures and post memorials was an exchange for being able to post the data. The gas I paid for and the wear and tear on my car was not free.
Unfortunately this Jim Tipton sounds like he does whatever he wants, is a bit of a bully himself and encourages others to act like him. Find A Grave can be very helpful to genealogists and a great way to honor the deceased, but the way it is being run is downright shameful and unprofessional.
Apparently some are worried about violations of privacy where the deceased are concerned. They see Find A Grave, genealogy websites and other things like them as violations and intrusions rather than as a way to honor the deceased. Only a few people that have ever lived ever show up in the history books. Without genealogy and websites like F.A.G. they are otherwise lost to history. However, I do think discretion should be used when posting a memorial to recently deceased children especially by people who were not related. On the other hand, a friend of mine found out he had an aunt he didn't know about by researching his ancestry. Apparently his father had a sister that died young and the family didn't talk about it. He was very much dismayed that he didn't learn about her until he was 60. So keeping quiet about it isn't always a good thing either.
Wow I think I just got booted off Findagrame.com without an issue. It just keeps saying not authorized the only thing I did was spell Gladys wrong I had almost 7, 000 memorials not for me. But because I know how happy I was when I found my family. Oh well I guess I just get a life.
Just because someone is buried in a public cemetery doesn't mean it is appropriate to display his/her grave site on the internet. Some people, including me, feel it is an invasion of privacy to have what they feel is personal information posted freely on the internet. My family members are putting in their will that they do not want to have their grave sites posted on Findagrave.com or any other public website.
Private information regarding the deceased? Apparently you haven't heard the oft repeated phrase by which everyone - in particular the legal profession - operates. It goes something like this: "The deceased have no expectation of privacy" and it's that way in all 57 of our United States of 'Merika. If someone living has heartburn over display of any public information that exists about anyone deceased (birth, death, obituary, writeup of any kind) get over it. You will get laughed out of court or anywhere else you think you have a claim.
I find that F.A.G., like many other sites, passes along lots of genealogical information I'm seeking about close and not-so-close relatives, and even more distant people who are not related to me but are related to someone who is related to me, regardless of how far removed. Often we find that Uncle Bill's, Aunt Susie's, or Cousin Slim's personal information is in dispute by even the closest of family members. Nevertheless, it is helpful to be able to narrow the possibilities down if you don't have a clue otherwise, i.e. a good guess beats the heck out of none.
Whether a site owner acts civilly, like an [censor], or somewhere between, I will continue to use whatever information I can locate via sites displaying the details I seek; I am thankful they exist. I, for one, can't devote the time or money required to travel to those far distant sites to learn of when someone roamed the earth. I suggest those using online sites be happy they are available and do the same. With a grain of salt at times.
To me genealogy offers a way of honoring our forefathers. I realize some details are often glossed over for obvious reasons, e.g. why great-grandpa had so many wives, or who was the real daddy of so-and-so. Facts are facts, warts and all. Every family has its black sheep. My friends and colleagues, those are what make the spice of life. Learn to enjoy it.
why are you against something that honors the DEAD! I am sure your duaghter does not mind someone took a picture of her gravesite and now is honored to be among the dead. when you die and your family is no longer alive who will remember you! WHO! That is why Findagrave is there to honor the dead. If you go to cemeteries some cemeteries are so run down there no longer cemeteries and some have even been destoryed for the sake of building a mall! my god who the heck do you think you are!
May you one day get a feel for being in her shoes.
I was on the internet this morning when I found my 2 1/2 year old sons headstone on the web site Find a grave. I emailed the person who posted the picture. I asked who she was, did she know us, and why would she post a picture of my sons grave site. I'm still unsure of how to handle this. If there is going to be a said memorial page of MY child then myself his mother, his father, or a very close family member should be creating it not some random web site. They say they do not make money but they have advertising on the site which means they are indeed making money in someway. This is the exact email I sent this morning. I was still very much taken back by finding this site.
"I was wondering why I found my son's headstone uploaded by you on your memorial page. Why are you uploading pictures of my son's grave site? Do you know our family in anyway? Did you have permission to do so? Who are you and why did you have my son's grave site on your page? "
The posters reply
"Dear Michelle,
We have family members buried at Oak Ridge, too. I am a volunteer making a visual record of the cemetery by taking photos of all the headstones, to honor the memory of the deceased and so that the information can be preserved for the future. Some later day, someone might wish to trace your family and your child would be remembered. Neither I nor any other volunteer at Findagrave makes any money for the memorials created. While I created it, it is not my memorial page. It is his.
I do not need permission to do this, but I would be glad to transfer the memorial to your control, or if you prefer, delete it. Personally, I would hope you did not delete it as it was intended to honor Christopher's memory. From the picture on the headstone I remember thinking he must have been a lovely child and how much you must miss him. The toys really touched my heart because I have two sons and the toys looked so familiar.
Do you have a Findagrave ID number? Send it to me and I will transfer the memorial to you, if you wish."
How can they honor my sons memory. They do not know us nor our family. She never met him, she does not know anything about my angel. How could this web site or any other web site ever truly honor my son or anyone's child if they never knew them? If I wanted a public memorial for my son I will create it. It will be done with love, care and respect by someone who will always love him not some random person or web site. I am still unsure how I want to handle this but I do not feel comfortable with complete strangers saying they are honoring my son when they did very little if anything to even try to contact me regarding this. I have a head stone with my name right next to his so it wouldn't be hard to track me down. If they truly cared about the people they say they are honoring then why not go all the way and contact the family members or at least try to. Google makes it very easy to find almost anyone. Will update later after I discuss this further with his dad.
Some of you people need to get a life. I found my older brothers memorial on F.A.G. He passed away from hunting trip at the age of 15. When i saw it i was not shocked nor mad . I was able to sponsor the memorial and add many photos of him and our family as a lasting memory of him and the family and did the same for my father when he passed. I also asked for management and was passed over to me with no fuss. in fact i had no problem getting all my family on both sides up to the 4 gen rule that they have.
I was so impressed with the site that i became a volunteer and been one for 11 years. What problem i have seen are people who join don't take time and follow the guide lines and tend to make memorials of their love ones and get mad when theirs are merged with the memorial already made. or photograph a full cemetery and add them by making a new cemetery and adding the memorials to it, With out checking to see if that cemetery was already posted along with the memorial. The whole site is done by Volunteers, from memorials, photos and correction and also reporting violations. I cemeteries are public domain unless it is on private land. no one can stop anyone from walking on a grave plot or take a photo of a stone one this plot. you can put all you want in your will, but there is no law to back your rights unless your on a private land or sitting in a urn on the mantel. But once you past and your info is added to the papers, it now becomes public domain.
I do understand your first "hatred" reaction but the person that uploaded the picture has made every attempt to explain the reasons and made the offer to transfer his memorial to you. Please accept that offer. You will be able to correct any errors and will be able to pass the memorial id number to your family and the few friends you wish to have it. I strongly suggest you copy everything on the memorial page and download every picture that you can find of your son and any other family members as these can be deleted without cause as with the case of my family. I do not know why they were deleted but they are all so. I have posted photos of individuals that were requested and several of the same individuals are being requested again as the photos and memorials have been deleted. I have no idea as to the reason they are gone but I am still able to log in and I am still receiving requests for new and additional photos.
Find A Grave IS making money as EVERY memorial is $5 if you wish to become the sponsor. I personally sent the money for 25 individuals from my family that were managed by other individuals. Some were never turned over to me and I never received my money back for those memorials. Am I going to freak out NO but I am also not going to send any more money to Find a grave. I also have decided to compile my own memorial book that I personally retain of my family. Once I have it downloaded I make any necessary corrections in the information and/or spelling. I have the memorial page first and then any of the photos that I can find on that person. It will be passed down to my living eldest niece/nephew as my son died withing 4 hours of his birth. his information was posted and I had a very great dislike for the person that could do this but after I talked with her I began to understand it was not done to make it a hateful thing but to show that others cared about the pain I was (and still have) because of his death. As I said, maybe you should accept the transfer and then you will forever be able to be the one in control.
I pray that your hurt is not long lasting.
I recently submitted a complaint to Findagrave about a cross being displayed on my friend's grave, even though I knew him very well and he was an outspoken atheist and hated religion/churches. I got an email response "This edit appears to be fraudulent and needs to be reported."
The people running this site are obviously from out of space.
Regarding the established posts and/or photos of gravesites on FindAGrave.com, I might want to add that I am also a volunteer contributor. Most cemeteries in the United States are considered "public places" for the purpose of cemetery visits in perpetuity. The fact the family has chosen a permanent marker or monument to be displayed permanently becomes a part of public record until such time it is removed from display. No infringement of rights or disrespect is implied by photographing or visually recording a final resting place. Please remember that the memorial will still be there LONG AFTER you are gone, and far beyond your control. The purpose this serves is to show that, in general terms, lives DO matter and deserve to be accorded a proper measure of dignity and respect in a lasting way. No one is going to "step on toes" when it comes to family discretion in memorialization.
Respectfully submitted,
An anonymous (but very caring) mortician
I hate to say this, but threatening to complain or sue or bellyache about FindAGrave.com will rarely lead to a good result. The site will CONTINUE to post memorials and pictures and whatnot until there isn't a breath left in the volunteers who contribute. Please see the site for what it is, both respecting the dead and being a record to the past. Small issues regarding personal control, empathy, sympathy, being an angel, and/or being a bu**hole will always pop up, regardless of persons, places, or things. I personally have found the site INVALUABLE in my search for ancestors I never knew existed. If you don't like it stay away from it. It is that simple. Many sites on the internet contain my personal info. I don't like it, but I can rightly imagine in the Internet Age there is little I can do to control it's dissemination to strangers. I care about those going through loss, as I myself am placed with the unenviable task of burying and cremating them. I am a licensed funeral director. Here is my saying, "In a public space you will see an unhidden face."
As a contributor for findagrave I'd like to say that some of us are sensitive to the fact that there are family members who may not want photos & memorials posted. While some contributors swoop into cemeteries picking up info left & right, some do not. Some of us are very careful in that we scan every photo to remove info of the living. We edit any obituary to remove addresses and sensitive info of the living. For any memorial that is placed on findagrave there is an option to edit, it can be transferred to another contributor or deleted by the person who created it. I'm always happy to transfer mine into the hands of family members, or remove it altogether when requested. It's the right thing to do.
However, I'm also very happy to run across memorials for old friends & family when I know I 'll never be able to visit their graves in far away places. The website has made it possible for my 87 year old Dad to pay his respects to his fellow WWII veterans who are buried in foreign lands as well as those who came home & scattered to the 4 corners of the country. Graves we could never visit in person are available in our home for prayers & memories.
A couple of times I've asked that memorials be transferred to me & the contributor said no, I don't argue, I see no point. I've sent photos to be used & don't get credit, but I don' protest, again I see no point. It's a website, it's not my life. It's a tool we can use or not, if it's helpful, use it, if not, stay away. Don't let it be stressful.
This is my first time on this Complaints and Reviews page, can’t believe all this talk. I am a contributor for over 11 years, I enjoy
making memorials for future generations. In all of my years making memorials I was asked once to remove a memorial and headstone photo for a young girl, it was requested from her family, I removed it ASAP., since then I only take headstone photos for those
who died before 1900. I walk past the newer headstones and take photos of the very older headstones, I don’t need the headache. I wish Findagrave and all the other volunteers the best, this is a wonderful site, I will not lean toward some of the negative comments I read.
If it weren’t for Findagrave I would never have met the nicest circle of Findagrave volunteers and my new family members I recently found on Findagrave.
The love of a parent for their child can produce any type of feeling. For most of us, we know this is a memorial. We also know that most people do this out of respect and kindness and hopefully this is something that will last for years to come even longer than a stone. However, with that said, this woman's feelings are paramount and if she requested it be removed, what do you lose by doing that?
I have enjoyed placing my family memorials and meeting some wonderful people while doing so.
Peace.
Find a grave, I was doing genealogy and find a grave kept stating no information for the cemetery. I finally chose a cemetery they had listed that I saw my grandmother buried in, and guess what? They reported my grandmother was not there, but I could use archives.com to find her! SCAM, SCAM SCAM
I wondered how the monument company I asked to design a marker for my brother was able to send me a photo of my parent’s tombstone. Decided to do a little searching today and to my horror I have found a picture of myself with my mother and father on this site. Talk about privacy violation! How can I get this removed as soon as possible. Do you people have ANY respect for family members still living ? losing my brother as been hard enough . Thanks for ruining my memorial day weekend.
FindAGrave is part of a bigger empire...the Mormon church. Once they're major contributers your deceased relatives r added lists in addition rebalfizing the dead into the Mormon church ritual.
Hello!
Hello, I have a question to ask - is there a way to get Virtual flowers turned back on after a period of time?
Someone kept spamming a memorial I have for an ordinary person, not a famous person, so findagrave.com disabled virtual flowers and comments.
Do they ever turn this function back on for anyone?
Thank you... :)
So, we're against freedom of the press now? A headstone has no right to privacy. There is no scam involved. The stupidity of the American public never ceases to amaze me.
"Findagrave" didn't photograph anything. There is no copyright to data. Do y'all have any complaints with interment.net or any of the other similar sites? Grow up.
Who y'all talkin two?
I've had nothing but wonderful experiences with FindAGrave, with special thanks to those who have created memorials for everyone in a particular cemetery. And the military cemeteries.
Through them our family has located innumerable relatives whose whereabouts were unknown - two of my grandmother's brothers, several babies we didn't even know had been born, etc. And the dates on the headstones often help confirm what is known. (Of about 2000 family memorials, I've only found five incorrect dates.)
In addition, a long lost cousin in Copenhagen found me through FindAGrave while researching her own grandparents as have two other friends.
(BTW our local undertaker says after death, the deceased have no rights. Both my parents requested no open casket viewing, even for family members. But because my sister-in-law gave her OK, the caskets were open.)
WOW! so much to complain about in this world and ppl do it about ppl taking time out of there day to help others find loved ones this site makes money on ads and only if ppl sponcer a memorial like maybe they they the only family member ok maybe you are but ok maybe your not and they other family members are looking and would like to know the where abouts but you ppl dont think that do you and thats the mess of this would its all what about me me me and are kids gruw up messed up maybe insted of hatin on ppl honring your loved ones by happy someone cares enuff to horner someone else they dont know. Maybe go and complain about like kids knocking over grave markers and breaking them or maybe kids killing kids on the streets oh yeah i forgor the ppl that complain about photo of a grave maker is blind to that. Now you want to talk about complaining it pisses me off when you complaining and trying to take are freedom of speech and press away and when it hit the obituaries your loved ones is far game to the would to see and on the net. to everyone to see there is no copyright infringment on graves so until you pay for the gas and time ppl put into this and your name is so and so grave.com cry some where else
And if you come here to complin about something it open for all to see so dont stick up for someone yes im sorry for there loss but you open mouth about something back it up this anit washington right and left [censored]es this is the net. and everybody sees it and freedom to jump on it to say what they want i mean yeah she was hearting from the loss of her child i would be to but to openly complint about she set her self up on that.
And to the ppl and BBB ### stfu and get a life unless you spent 100s or 1000s of dollors on ###.com b/c you anit getting nowhere with that complint my god ppl really. i feel like im in jr high school he sad she said. I had dups memorials by mistake and where deleted ### gos by the first one made duh.
Well i well give you a heads up dont wast your time nor breath on my post b/c i wont see it b/c on like you cry babies on here with no damn life but complin i wont be back but if i do i will for worn ya i will clown you so be ready to be butt hurt!
I had to complain to findagrave because someone posted a double headstone that had my LIVING father's dob on it. This is a danger of identity theft. This person also posted my mama's obituary which listed many living people. I did not really think it was appropriate to post my mother's headstone and obituary without the family's permission. It was most certainly not appropriate to post my father's headstone when he is alive. I also found several cousin's headstones who are very much living. The stones are just there so that detail will be taken care of when their time comes.
There is NO exploitation! Get over yourself. I have a son that died at 4 weeks old and is in Find A Grave. I'm not distraught. His life has been honored. I can understand if you don't want to have the picture posted, that take the steps to NICELY explain your views and request they be taken down. You can join Find A Grave free and do that. But when people get up in arms unnecessarily and raise such a fuss and push people into corner, they come back fighting and won't back down. As for Find a Grave, for the first time in many years of research, I have been able to break down brick walls that stopped me from getting anywhere in my genealogy research. I do research to honor my ancestors and the memorials left behind have not only helped me in huge ways, but I have found some of my cousins to contact and get more of the stories and details that add so much to the understanding of my ancestors and the lives they lived.
SandyKJ, your son really died, Alex daughter HAD NOT DIED. you must understand this basic difference
For some time now I have been getting the following message when trying to navagate to findagrave.com:
This page can’t be displayed
•Make sure the web address http://www.findagrave.com is correct.
•Look for the page with your search engine.
•Refresh the page in a few minutes.
So, does anyone know what gives here?
I'm having the same problem. I can't access findagrave.com's website also. I had thought they had done something to keep me out but now I see others are having the same problem.
Wow...most of you really need to get a life. As for memorials being an invasion of privacy, while I feel for the woman who didn't want her daughter's stone put up on the website, if I had a photo up and a family member asked me to remove it I would. As for it being private, we all are public knowledge now and after we die. I can google my name and find every city I've lived in, and all the way back to 1971 when I fell off a high diving board because its in the local newspaper. We are no longer private people. If you've done anything that was recorded, it's there. As for putting personal information on a memorial, unless they knew the person it can't be any more personal than what is public knowledge from the newspaper, an obituary, etc. My one complaint with Findagrave is that they apparently allow people to put up memorials when they have no idea where or if the person was buried. This is a cemetery site, not just a memorial site. It is a place to record cemeteries. If you don't have cemetery burial information they shouldn't be put up. If someone was cremated and the ashes given to someone, there is no cemetery. All I can add is just be respectful, if someone asks you to transfer a family member or asks you to take something down, I would go ahead and do it. It shouldn't be about having 7, 000 memorials, nor should anyone "own" a cemetery (I had an issue with a woman over that as well and finally decided the hell with her, if she didn't have one of the people buried, than I added it). If you spend gas and money doing this on your own, tough [censored], you can't complain about anything, YOU CHOSE to do the work, get over it. This should only be about putting up memorials and helping people find their loved ones, THAT'S IT. It should be "well I've got more than you do" what are you 5? I can see why they dropped you. Go find something else to do, and remember when you're a VOLUNTEER that means YOU CHOOSE to do the work without any payment.
if the person died, findagrave must let the person stay in their site, even if they had not have tombstone/headstone. if findagrave not allow, it's disrespectful to that real-dead person.
compete on how many records make is useless. the dead person family (headstone person family or friend) can report to findagrave that you are unauthorized then your burial record on that person will be deleted immediately.
so, u guys can also see that, steal people family/friend funeral is stupid.
the important is all funeral and headstone photos must be authorized and legitimate and the owner let you use. or else. family or friends can call findagrave to delete unallowed photographs on their family/friend's tombstones. and your account will be suspended.
how many tomb photo taken is no longer a meaning anymore
So you are one of those obnoxious [censored]s who think that if there isn't a burial, then there isn't a point in adding it? I've been bullied by dozens of people just because a memorial for a man born over 200 years ago doesn't have information on where he was buried. IF IT BOTHERS YOU, GO FIND THE BURIAL YOURSELF IF YOU THINK IT"S EASY.
Not true. I have complained to Find A Grave several times about misinformation on my family site (father, grandfather, grandmother and great grandparents) and use of their head stones without my permission. And Nothing was ever done. I am the last of my family and I even submitted a copy of my birth certificate showing relation.
But what they did do is give control to someone who claims to be related through my third great grandfathers brother. Which legally or DNA wise is not a relation.
You are one of a kind, Findagrave administrators steal my family pages from me and change them. So yeah! They steal my records, my photos and basically my deceased family.
There is an option of burial details unknown. It is particularly useful information for those perhaps doing research on celebrities or other historical figures.
If someone lists an obituary it immediately is going to be a matter of public information and those listings will exist.
I recently had a good friend pass away and I didn't realize it for a week because his wishes were to not have an obituary, funeral, burial or any notification. I am just waiting for people on his Facebook account to ask him "where have you been lately" not knowing he has been dead for 2 months.
If someone doesn't want a findagrave listing, the above method will serve best unless a family member or friend decides to do one. But the option for unknown is always going to be there.
If you do not want others to see you name or your daughter's do not put it on the stone. Anyone walking a cemetery can find DOB. The dead have no right to privacy. I find a lot of family history in find a grave. Billion graves have a lot of stones too. As for Obit's find a grave dose say not to add names of living family members but some people still add them.
you have no right to privacy. dead person family can still object if they dont want. that is why the remaining family can judge for the dead person. if you think dead has no privacy, WRONG. all people have their own rights or privacy even if they die. they have family/friends help them compete for the right and privacy.