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CB Hospitals and Clinics Littledale Hall Therapeutic Community [LHTC] Little dale hall Keith Robertson Sue Robinson Rehab RehabilitationLhtc lie, bad experience dishonest break up family friends relationships lancaster
Littledale Hall Therapeutic Community [LHTC]

Littledale Hall Therapeutic Community [LHTC] review: Little dale hall Keith Robertson Sue Robinson Rehab RehabilitationLhtc lie, bad experience dishonest break up family friends relationships lancaster 238

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2:11 pm EDT
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I would like to start by saying I believe therapy and rehabilitation is a good thing and that the concept behind Littledale hall is good.

However I have a major issue with Littledales treatment of relationships. This is a snippet from their website.

"Family and friends may play a vital role in the recovery process. Given this residents are encouraged (when possible and appropriate) to attempt to rebuild or develop positive relationships with family and friends"

It must be pointed out that our relationship was never an issue. All our arguments occurred only when my partner was drunk.

Littledale told my partner to end our relationship and end communications with me the moment that she entered the place. How was this rebuilding our relationship?
When she refused they allowed a compromise that she could only communicate via letter.
I found out that this alone was a complete breach of social care rules.

When I received letters from her they were dated 3 weeks late and were franked on the same day. By this I mean I received 3 letters in one go all franked on the same day yet dated 3 weeks earlier. It was clear that they had been withholding the mail my partner had sent.
Mail that I sent to her was being kept until someone was able to read it to her by Sue Robinson her key worker.

So lets talk about Sue Robinson
Mrs S Robinson. Dip Counselling. BA Hons TOPPS. Over 7 Years experience of working as a counsellor in a Therapeutic Community. CENTRA Groupwork Cert. DANOS Level 3 Health & Social Care (TBC Jan 2008)

This person seem well qualified but when my partner posed questions to me her answers were simply not helpful. I asked her opinion on a number of occasions especially when i had letter clearly stating my partners unrest.
She was quick to make suggestions that would make my partner stay in rehab, but none that would alleviate her discontent. In hindsight I should have never trusted her as this is a business not a family like they claim.
It is my opinion and I can prove Sue Robinson breached protocol and aided in the breakdown of my relationship.

1) she failed to relay on vital information that would stop my partner getting stressed.
2) she disallowed dialogue between me and my partner.
3) she failed to pass on key information to my partner.
4) she convinced me not do thing my partner had requested
5) She interfered in our relationship.
6) she put phone down on me when I requested to speak to Keith Robertson the director. The phone wasnt even answered by her.

Now lets talk about Mr Keith A Robertson
Registered Manager . CCETSW, CSC, IMS, DMS, Cert Ed 1. Advanced Cert Substance misuse. GCT Cert Group Therapy. Over 17 Years experience of working in the substance misuse field. 14 years experience of Managing Therapeutic Communities.

After reading his qualifications I trusted his judgement. His promise to arrange an interview after three months was broken and he had not kept his word. The communications still remained blocked.

I requested to see my partner on her birthday, Eid and My birthday yet all were denied. She wasn't even allowed to call me.

Up until a week ago my letters from my partner were full of questions that I had been advised to ignore and not respond to but consistently they ended with love, missing you, and xxxx.

I then received a disturbing letter telling how emotional and erratic she was feeling (confirmed by a family member)
I called in to Littledale and was shocked to be told this was not the case that she was happy and fine.
I asked about why she was home sick and i was told to ignore her and just talk about stuff that was not going to make her feel bad. I did just that.

A week later I received a dear John letter.
when i called in i was completely shunned by the staff and told if i rang again I would be arrested for harassment.

I contacted Keith Robertson who at first seemed to be helpful but then also shunned my calls.

I have received an anonymous call, from Lancaster telling me that my partner is being lied to, by staff and manipulated into a wrong state of mind. They have got involved into our personal lives and made wrong suggestions that over step the line.

My advise is not to use this rehabilitation facility as it is looking after the Business as oppose to the Patient.

They are currently being investigated for this.

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Update by Unhappy family
Oct 20, 2010 7:07 am EDT

Thank you for your comments.

Shelly who was your treatment key worker. My partners is Sue Robinson. The reason i ask is the the "confident woman" thing that you said is always said by her and was in my last letter from my partner. It seems like you were treated by same person.

Karl, how did you cope and what were they like with you?

If you dont mind me asking did you use any thing and what reason did they give?

Shelly how long were you in for?

Did you get to see him at all?

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 20, 2010 6:54 pm EDT

Thanks for that.
I intend to hold tight because I don't want to interfere in her treatment but with what you lot have said so far it seem Littledale hall is not what it makes out.
Is there a way i can find out it success rate. I think i might get a news paper involved to see if t he can high light it. They may be able to shed light on the success rate.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 21, 2010 6:56 am EDT

I am sorry please could you give me more details. Yes my partner has a dog which they are now looking after for her. I received a letter from her feeling homesick and she said she was erratic. I know it is your career but this is my life and i am really worried about her state of mind. They are saying she is making her own choices and knows what she wants. I received an email from Keith saying that he spoke to her and that she was adamant about her decision.
They have put me in a catch 22 if I dont abide by her wishes then I am in the wrong. If i do then I risk letting her down.
Everyone who is reading this is advising me to go get her.
I think if I do and I am wrong then then what happens.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 22, 2010 3:24 pm EDT

Cant post contact details but I could really do with your help. Been worried about her welfare and if i have been lied to from the start. This situation caused a major rift between me and her mother. I am starting to wonder how much of what sue says is the truth and how much is her adding her two pence. Me and partners mum both were on the same page until I was told she had asked that I not be allowed to communicate with her. (as next of kin)

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 23, 2010 1:53 pm EDT

Can you email me I would like some more details.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 23, 2010 1:58 pm EDT

I want to say that some people tried to see her but were refused and I have been warned not to communicate or persue this matter.

I have put this to her family now to deal with as I am in no position to do anything.

I will stop writing and will do as she has asked because regardless it was her choice and she made it. I will wait and see how things pan out.

I wont however give up on her.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 25, 2010 1:05 am EDT

I am speaking from my experiences only.

I am only aware of how Littledale treated me an how you created the platform to which my relationship suffered. My partner wanted stability and you advised me against giving it to her. My first letter from her was to tell me you had demanded that she end her relationship with me.
Why would you tell a resident to do that on arrival. You had no right to do that and not expect it to have had a negative effect. Dont play innocent. I contacted kieth Robinson and you told me that the next of kin was responsible. Do you know how much trouble you caused by that comment alone.

She wanted answers and you advised not giving them to her.
She was upset.. You wouldn't let me communicate with her.
She was feeling homesick you told me she wasn't
Even her mother told people she was emotional yet you think she was fine. How blind are you.

You withheld her letters for THREE weeks fro the date she wrote them to when i received them. ALL in one go i receive three. all franked on the same day (i still have the envelopes as proof)

If your treatment was as you said why separate us apart and make life difficult.
You created a situation that would ultimately result in the demise of our relationship. I know when we meet that this will change.

You know she was feeling emotional and I called you to ask for advise. YOU lied and said she was fine.

When she though bad things you let her stew. when she wrote me nice things the letters were over week late.

Yes I can clearly see that you wanted her to remain a resident and now you have put me in a catch 22 situation. I am damned if I do something and damned if I don't. My 1st concerns is her. Littledale however will not get away with doing this to someone else.

Don't play the shocked and dismayed. Your business is a care home. You need residents to make money.

I know that I am unable to do anything to rectify my situation but I also know that we love each other very much. Love is not conditional or something that can be switched off. If she was able to make this choice then she will be able to tell me herself face to face without any difficulty. Your manager said she wasn't able to. Her decision was not what she wanted but what she thinks she has to do that is what everyone seems to say you place is all about.
You have now created another situation which will effect my partner in the future.

Sue Robinson kept saying "confident woman" my partner said exactly same thing. She has been taught to say that and made to think like sue. I know my partner better than you think. I can tell in her letters when she is herself and when she is speaking Littledale.
I have read your resident comment highlighted by peer and you can see by just reading them that they are staff. the speech switches from first hand to third party. Fake fake fake.

I will wait till she finishes her treatment and I will be there for her like I have been for the last three years. You have no idea what I went through for her and what our history is.

If my partner is effected in anyway by your action then i will pursue you as the responsible. She should be left unaware of this as she has no access to the internet.
In the mean time IF you have created a successful treatment we will not see anymore comments by others. by reading this i doubt it

You have no complaint procedure and my complaint was ignored that is why i have now done this to help others.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 25, 2010 1:11 am EDT

By the way "doing something different" are you resident, ex resident or employed. I suspect you are employed in management as you have switched from one to another.
If you cant make your own mind up to who you are how can you treat others.
Why would you fake your own testimonials unless you cant give them.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 25, 2010 9:50 pm EDT

So let me get this right Baldy man employs 3 people who now work AWAY from home and AWAY from bad influences. Why. If they are treated they should be able to walk down the same streets and not be bothered.
And as for me being a bad influence I was the one who wanted my partner to get help. I made her attend her meetings and the only reason we fell out was because i tried to stop her drinking.
The main cause of her drinking was her past not her influences. many people live in society without having to worry about walking past an off licence. You have employed 3 people doing what if you dont mind.

Mr very right i own my own business, own my i own home no mortgage or loan and never been out of work and never been short of money. My life is now incomplete because the person i love thinks i didnt care about er. I am not allowed (by littledale) to express my feeling to her and am expected to sit down and throw a 3 year relationship away. ### littledale

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 1:30 am EDT

Again turtleglove and the baldy man are one and the same claiming to be employer and resident and staff at the same time.

My partner ex if you want is in there to stop drinking and substance abuse. I wanted her clean. I wanted her to stop. So yes i controlled what she did by trying to stop her getting involved with people who drank and did other things. I hated finding her in incoherent states but worst of all I hated people taking advantage of her.

I you people think I was wrong for trying to protect her and get her the help she needed then I am Guilty as hell. I will not regret my actions. Littledale class that as control yet they do exactly the same thing. control the environment and control communication and control the money. The difference is I did it because I love her, You do it cos you are paid.

Dont dare taint what I feel for her with your lies. I have my evidence of you actions. I also know that she cannot have lied to me about how she felt. I never felt that with anyone else and I know it was real.

You wont let me see her because you know she will remember her feelings and you will be wrong. My money and everything I own means nothing without her. I am not a bad person.

You however are. You made me resent my partners mother because you claimed she had restricted access to my partner. This caused a big rift. I know that this was now a lie. SUE Robinson told me that lie. Why did you tell me that Sue. Because my partner was unsettled and you knew she would leave. The sad part is that I wanted her to complete her treatment not walk out. I trusted you were telling me the truth SUE and you lied. You kept her letters from me when she was seeking answers about us. you kept pages from letters because my partner numbered them. I want to know why you did it.

I know its the truth people where I live know what I had to do and how I acted while she was in there. Many people who are close to my partner know exactly what I have been going through because of you and I grinned and bared it for my partners sake.
You want a lesson in love I will give it to you cos I topped the class. Pure and unconditional no reason just feeling.
1.45 am and I am still working to provide for her and I will still do it till she returns. When we are together and I know we will be I will tell you all how wrong you were.

I want it clear that I do not want her to fail, I want her to succeed. I dont want her to get back on the drink and I will be doing everything I can to assure that.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 10:04 am EDT

Why did i sound obnoxious, because i work and own my own company?
You are however correct I have no idea what goes on up there.

I do know what has been said and done?

What i cannot fathom is why you would make comments about me unless you have been talking to staff about my partners PERSONAL affairs which as Littledale say is another big rule and a big no no.

So you and your husband have clearly had access to details that you should never have had. You have again shown Littledales munipulative ways.

You have only known my partner for 3 months and you expect me to believe that you know her better than her friends and her family.

And Sue or Denise or which ever Member of Littledale staff you are. I wont contact her I will wait till she makes her OWN mind up. I dont control her and have never been able to ask her mother.

And for the record This is my only profile. What i said and I commented is MY thoughts only I have not said anything i cannot prove.

I only gave people a platform to express their thoughts, just like you. If you dont like them it is not my fault. Difference is You can ask them so why haven't you.

I think that you have put me through enough and the stress I put my partners mother through because of your comments are more unforgivable than anything else I have done.
I know her mother an pa pa know how much i love that girl yet you have labelled it control.
Protecting people you love is not control its what you are meant to do.
You may like to break up relation ships for the ease of life but life is not easy.
I wont give up on her at all like you want. I will however give her space to make her own mid up. Thats something YOU wont do.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 5:48 pm EDT

I know I have made some mistakes in my past. None of them have involved her. I am so sure that I am not wrong I wont contact her. I will leave her to remember because we had great moments together and those moments will surface.
I have not had the chance to remind her because we have been kept apart. If littledale is so sure that i am wrong then they should not have interfered. But they did.
I have been speaking to someone who did Rehab and he has said that they keep you busy and suppress your feelings.
My partner is a loving emotional person and has a heart of gold and I know you cannot take that from her.
By the post that you make "Mr very right" you only prove that Littledale are behind it all and not her.
When she leaves i will give her space to make her own mind up. Let her ask questions and answer them. Questions that will need answering.

You judged me, called me a chancer, a fly boy and far from dull you should have looked into me properly. If thats your opinion then i dread your abilities as therapist.

Ps he proper channel have been notified and the post marke letter dated by your franking machine have been sent to them. Whats you lie going to be?

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 6:47 pm EDT

Got to admit that you are really trying to goad me. You're to late. Been warned and been told. You can say what you want now. I am now going to wait and see. As a member of staff at Littledale You had no right to make the comments you have made about my partners personal life on here. I can prove the information i provided. The letters and the comment. Where do you have it written that I am chancer. My partner knows i am far more than that.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 9:43 pm EDT

Like I said when she is out of there and if we meet the only one i will blame is littledale. No one else at all. Your place isnt magical its business.

GOOD NIGHT

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 10:57 pm EDT

Far from it. I counted 4 and with this soon to be made more visible i can soon see more and more posting their experiences.
I have seen your reaction already. You are going to say its people who have failed the treatment, but there are them who said they have still abstained. I say good on them. I have no right to say what others have or have not experienced. Only how you have treated me and that is my right to complain. If it saves people going through what you put me through then i will have done them a favour.
You also forget when she returns she will be able to see this and the comments made. Chancer, fly boy, dull, control freak her true friends know that was never the case. But that has been planted in her head. None of the positives.
So yes i am confident about where i stand. You on the other hand will not be.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 28, 2010 1:55 pm EDT

iamtracy, I know how she feels i feel really angry, but she needs to help him. Sue Robinson is my partners Key worker and by reading what turtleglove has said (who cant make up his/her mind if she is the husband or wife) peoples personal lives are discussed and manipulated for their labour force.
How can a person working at Littledale employ people with out it being a conflict of interest. if she/ he doesn't work at Littledale, why does she/he know personal details of my relationship.
Sue you have shown yet another breach of patient confidentiality to suit you own agenda.
People from outside that establishment should not know anything or financially gain from resident as you clearly have demonstrated you do.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 28, 2010 5:11 pm EDT

Today i recieved a phone call from an officer who is investigating harrassment complaint made by the staff at littledale. I was more concerned that they claimed that i had been ringing them. This is totally untrue.
What also concerned me is that SUE Robinson did this complaint infront of my partner to the police.
I have complied with the officer and said i would allow them access to my phones.
My last letter was last week and i have not since wrote or called up at anytime. My last email to keith robertson was on 20/10/10

My conclusion is that Littledale have tried to hurt me by making me look bad in front of my partner.
I requested that when the officer proves that i had not made the call. I would like him to return to Littledale and tell my partner the allegation is not true.
Littledale, you have again shown me more evidence that you manipulate people and now you have proven the depths that you would sink to.
Sue you have again lied and your actions will only upset my partner. when this come out in the wash i will be seeking a statement off the police officer and presenting it to the proper authorities.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 29, 2010 1:06 am EDT

So you are backing SUE for lying to the police and to my partner.
You fail to realise that Sue's actions have only proven how far Littledale will go. Lying to the police and getting staff to do the same. I welcome the police as it will prove that you lied about the calls and it will go on record. The fact that she did it in front of her will show how low she went to manipulate her. My only concern is how this will effect my partner when she realises the one that she trusted was lying the whole time. I did not ring Littledale again or write to her since i was asked to..
Littledale is getting exposed for what it is and more people will think before putting their trust in a place like this.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 29, 2010 9:38 am EDT

I really appreciate the off and thank you, but I will wait for my partner to do it off her own back. I dont want anyone else to suffer at the hands of these people. You can message me your details if you wish and explain who you are.
I wont break the law and I wont allow SUE to put my partner through another interview with the police. I am still outraged that she sunk so low as to do that. To lie to a resident and make false allegation so as to drive a wedge between them. . I hope you have the answers ready for why you put her through that unnecessarily. I have witnesses that can confirm that i have not wrote or called.
I certainly will not use a third party to do it either.
I know her better that they think they know her. Her true feeling will overcome what they have programmed into her head. It is just a matter of time and I think she is worth the wait.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 30, 2010 5:54 pm EDT

I have another complaint. You made my partner get rid of the dog. that dog was part of the family. You should have let me have her back if you didnt want her. we were looking after her fine and now you have given her away to a stranger.
You are really sure you have made her better. She would never in a million/ billion life times given that dog up.
I have no idea why she broke with me, but that dog was her child and you some how made her part from it.
You also have told everyone not to mention it so that she wont get upset.
What is she going to do when she wants her dog back?
And if i even got my partner wrong i know she loved that dog more than me.
If you know where it is please dont let her go. I am now begging you not to do it. That dog means everything to her and you have no idea what you are doing.
It is obvious that you are pushing her in some way.

Update by Unhappy family
Nov 04, 2010 9:51 pm EDT

The plans we made were for her to finish her university course I hope she still sticks with it.
I really want her to achieve what she wants to do. She has always regretted it and it has been one of her main goals in life.
I always wanted her to do it and I will be more disappointed if she doesn't apply for September.
My main thing was to earn enough money to support her through it and give her a foundation to come out to.
I still plan on being here for when she comes out and I have no intentions of being with anyone but her. She is my soul mate and everything.
I know we loved each other and that the only reason we have split is the divide that Littledale created.
When I meet her I wont expect anything because I believe in love and that is something Littledale destroyed by labelling it control.
They have tainted what we had and I will remind her what she means to me.
She is worth every bit of pain I am feeling and I am willing to anything she wants.

Update by Unhappy family
Nov 11, 2010 3:02 pm EST

Thanks for pointing BEWAREOFFAKERS out.
The person made a post trying to say All these people are fabrications.
Well let me tell you that this is me and only this is me.
Littledale I have nothing but contempt for your behaviour and yes I have reported you to the necessary channels.
I have given a platform so that other people who you have treated with the same disregard can voice their experiences and others can see how you treat people.
If I had known I would have never allowed her to go there.
However I want her to finish her treatment then I will see her.
You are so confident that this was her choice then why did you tell her she was not allowed to contact me when she arrived. I have her very first letter explaining that you did this.
Everyone here has similar experiences, I take full credit of letting people know. I now only await her return.
Love is impossible to switch off. When we meet she will remember and I will let it be her choice.

Update by Unhappy family
Nov 30, 2010 4:55 pm EST

I wasn't going to respond, but why not.
How do you know who and what I am?
Why would you describe me as such?
I wish more people were like me as do many others in this society.
Only six months to go and I will have proven everything I promised I have kept to.
I have the strength to carry on my trials and tribulations with out having to bend to the pressures of peers.
I do what I feel is right and have no doubt that when she realises why I did what I did she will be the only one who can judge me and I will take anything she says.
I have no problems accepting my faults, but I do have problems with people feeding off the weak and what is the common theme with everyone posting on here.
I dont need pity off people who make money out of the misfortunes of others.
I have nothing more to say about the way you behaved that is between me and her.
After reading what everyone has wrote on here I feel much better and am continuing building the future i promised her. No matter what you say I will still be here waiting for her. Nothing you can say will make me change the feelings I have for her.

Update by Unhappy family
Dec 07, 2010 9:04 am EST

Firstly I tried and agreed that rehab was the best option.
I supported her all the way through and still do.
What i dont like is the ### lies that the staff at littledale made out.
For example blaming her mother for no contact
making out that her laptop had not been sent
telling me not to do as she asked and then leaving me to take the blame.
keeping her letters from me and keeping mine from her
But again I will say this... I was not trained or paid to help her for the last three years. Why did i do it?
They were not easy years as her mother will know only too well.
I wont disrespect her mum as her mother tried her best and in the end it wasnt enough because we both got played by someone whos whole world revolved around drink.
But when she was sober i saw the beautiful confident women that you all only see now.
How many times did people tell me to wash my hands of her. (rememeber)
What did I do? I stuck by her.
I have not destroyed the reputation of littledale.
I just pointed a few thing out that Littledale wouldnt clarify.
Everyone else ha a right to speak their own mind (now they have their own minds)
She is the love of my life. I believe she has forgotten our real relationship and has only focused on the bad things.
Her memories will be a blur of visions and drunken stoupers.
Surely treatment would include making sure what she remembered is a truthful account and not onesided.
The stupid thing is I wanted her to be sober and did everything i could to make sure she finished her treatment.
I hope she doesnt come out because of this but i hope i get to at least see her and speak to her.
Oh and one more thing i will say Six members of staff at littledale claimed i made phone calls to the establishment after the me and her split.
WHY DID YOU LIE IN FRONT OF HER FOR?
YOU PROVED TO ME WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF.
I am unhappy and have been ever since.
I am not unhappy about her because that is the only thing keeping me going.

Update by Unhappy family
Dec 10, 2010 1:28 am EST

I need to point somethings out.
1) as mention i was with her 3 years and no we are not family.
2) I cant understand why her mother would write this. She knew how difficult things were.
3) My partner has always been beautiful and confident. She just believed the beer helped. I spent a lot of time with her sober and she is a great person to be with. her little moments of clarity far outweighed all the bad times. I always knew that the drink was the cause. that's why I stood by her.
4) I am in love with her. That wont change. Littledale kept us apart but my feelings are still as strong. I also know her mother said she would respect her daughters decision. Why would she tell me to move on? I knew this was possibly going to be 12 months and i was prepared for that.
5) Why did her mother mention money and house, these are things that meant nothing to my partner. She was never materialistic at all, and i resent the insinuation that it was the only reason she was with me. I learnt money meant nothing from her. Her mother also knows this more than any one.
Which makes me wonder. who actually wrote that post. My partners mother would never stoop so low as to try and hurt my feelings with jibes. She is better than that, and she would never insult people she doesn't know.
We may have our differences but I know that she knows I tried to do what ever I could for her daughter.
Whenever she needed me she knew my door was never closed.
The route cause of our feud was all caused by sue robinsons lie. partners mum never told you to stop me seeing her. yet sue led me to believe my partners mother (next of kin) had made a request to keep us apart.
this cause a rift and further issues. How was this building relationships? I wont blame her mother for anything anymore. I blame myself for trusting a strangers.
My complaint is about the way littledale kept my letters and lied to my partner. Possibly even her mother. What everyone else wrote helped me keep strong.
6 months to go and i will see what my partner want when she comes out. until then I will wait for her.

Update by Unhappy family
Jan 11, 2011 2:10 pm EST

Anyone who reads this please do not say anything to her mother. I don't believe her comment to be malicious. When I see my partner I will in my own time when she is ready.
I don't blame her, other for her actions, she is just happy her daughter is sober (as am I).
My attempt to help her may have failed but at least I tried.
I will be here when she realises what the "brainwashing" was really for.

Update by Unhappy family
Jan 23, 2011 12:26 am EST

How long were you there for Clive, and when did you leave?
What do you mean cruelty and neglect?

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 14, 2011 12:01 pm EDT

I have stayed off commenting on here as it has made my life hell. Littledale can do or say what ever they want. All i know is that someone I love with all my heart has decided to leave.
According to Littledales description of me, Im controlling, an abuser and someone who wasn't worthy of an interview to see what i was really about. They never took the time to realise my arguments with my partner were about her trying to get out of going rehab. They were about her drinking spirits and me trying to get her to eat.
I had a well paid job and I worked really hard. When I came home I had to pick up the pieces that had been left around. Did Littledale care? No. The number of times my partner was exploited people offering her drink to get what they wanted. What was I meant to do stand by and accept it? When she got violent I would throw cold water on to her to sober her up. What would Littledale prefer I do. Hit her.
I am in love with someone who had a problem. I didnt turn my back on her like everyone told me to. I stood by her and at times it was the hardest thing to do. I was in love and it was unconditional. However I did make one condition.
On the day before she was meant to go to rehab she changed her mind. We had the biggest row ever. If I was selfish I would have just let it be. I didn't. I spent the whole day organising and sorting her things out with her friends. When she left I cried, but i got to see her at Harvey House. Everyday I went in and saw her, even on a day I couldn't. She was sober everyday and we made plans for her to go to Uni.
When she finally went to Littledale I received no communication for 3 weeks. Everyone else got letters except me. Why? Well according to my partner (i still have the letter and it angers me everytime I read it) Littledale had told her she was to write me one letter to tell me it was over. WHY? What gave them the right to make a snap judgement on me without so much as a conversation.
The fact that Littledale has done this and many other thing made me create this blog.
Whoever wishes to write their experiences may do so.
"peers 2010" I am sorry but they win. I am a strong headed but when it comes to my partner I am weak. She has chosen to make this decision and regardless of how I feel so long as she is fit and healthy then that is all I wanted. I would rather her be safe than end up led on a street messed up because of me. I wanted to marry her and I still do, but only if she wants to. I know what Littledale did, she will eventually figure it out herself, but until then I only wish her the best from life.
For everyone else who reads this, rehab is a great idea, dont be put off by my experience not every rehab is like Littledale.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 15, 2011 1:18 am EDT

Do you know what I had to go through for her? No
Everyone who knows us knew what she meant to me and what she put me through. Time and time again I was told to give up on her. I didn't. She may not remember things because no one was there to remind her of what I did for her. The biggest joke in all this is I made her go there. I actually argued and threatened to end our relationship so she would go to rehab. If she had called my bluff I would have tried something else, but my only aim was to build a life with her.
I know I treated her well and everyone said I treated her like a queen. For the love she showed me she deserved everything the world has to offer. I will give up everything I have just for her.
The anger I feel towards Littledale subsided when I knew she was getting better, it was the only thing keeping me going, but when I was told how they portrayed me to her how am i meant to keep a level head. Being caring and protective gets changed to controlling and abusive.
I ask littledale staff on here now. Would they let someone down bottles of vodka or try to stop them and wean them off.
If a person they loved was a danger to them self would they remove the danger or let them get hurt and say i told you so.
People told me to let her learn for herself, but instead she didnt. The next day she would have no idea what had happen.
I called it the Groundhog day effect.
What would you do in my shoes? love her or leave her? I chose to love her and I still do.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 15, 2011 12:46 pm EDT

I cannot begin to tell you how difficult this has been. I made her promises and I kept all of them. She told me to start my own business on the last day I saw her. I have done it. We now employ 9 people. I haven't had a day off so I could spend weeks with her when she comes home. I turned my back on all my friends and stayed away from everyone who could possibly cause her issues so that she had a safe environment with no temptation or stress. I sent her presents for birthdays, christmas and valentines day (which apparently she has not got). Kids keep asking me when she is coming home especially my daughter who is really fond of her. She wouldn't go on holiday with out her because she wanted her to go on all the rides with us just like in Blackpool.
I was told to give up on her time and time again even by Littledale. When things got too much my friends reminded me who I was doing it all for. They told me to forget the bad and only focus on the good. I did just that. I look through all our pictures together and the one thing common in all of them is we are always smiling and laughing. I lost my smile till I meat her. she made me happy and I want to do the same for her.
I blame Littledale for what they did. I blame myself for not being able to help her more than I tried.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 16, 2011 1:36 am EDT

there is a saying "diamond in the rough". Thats what she was. I saw through all the bad that surrounded her. No one else cared. I had no one to turn to for help about her problem. From the first time that she held me and stroked my arm I felt affection. Her emotions shattered me and made me feel again. There was a side to me that I had locked away for so long and she made me open up. when she was there i could sleep easy without her i am lost. for the last 6 months people have nicknamed me Lostboy. I am incomplete and she is the missing piece of me.
Yes you are right i don't drink, i did participate with her but it no longer interest me. I am a workaholic now. I spend all my time building our future .
I would like to thank you, for your message. I hope one day we could meet under different circumstances and maybe you will be able to talk to people and listen to her shenanigans. She isnt just missed by me she has some really good friends that also got the bad end of her drunkenness too.
You mentioned "hope", I prayed and hoped for the last 8 months that she would succeed and I risked my life just to get the blessings of another person for her to get well. when she stopped writing I "hoped" that it was a nightmare and i would wake up from it. She is my hope that love is real.
I know you have a positive look at Littledale, but the pain that this caused me is still raw. May be in time I will forgive them. Right now I cant. there are thing that were said and done that can only be resolved by her. Closure is hard to acheive without answers.
q: when did you leave and how well did you know her

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 16, 2011 9:41 am EDT

did you even try to help your Ex?

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 16, 2011 12:47 pm EDT

I'm sorry if I sounded a bit horrible with my question. You never said much about you Ex. Why did he not go to rehab too?
Do you not think that what you learnt in rehab could have also helped him? I am not questioning your judgement or your actions.
It seems that with what you say everyone on here is right. You also ended a relationship base on distancing yourself from temptation.
Was trying to help your Ex not an option?
Did your ex want you to get help and go into rehab?
Forgive me if I am overstepping the mark here. You must remember I question Littledales techniques of locking people away from society and saying you are cured.
As everyone has said here they are in a bubble till they come out and things change. I dont want her to be on her own if that happens.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 16, 2011 9:48 pm EDT

I am so sorry for what I said. I think you have made the right step because of your situation. funny thing you mentioned was that Littledale told you he didnt love you to do what he did... they said the same about me pouring her vodka away.. they called it domestic abuse. I got that info from one of "peers 2010" freinds. I admit freely what I did and if in the same situation many people said they would have done the same. I am good at business development. I was not a drink or drug specialist. I was strong willed so if i didnt want to do something i would say no. she couldnt do that. I worked too much to keep an eye on her. her friends tried to protect her but this got twisted in to spying on her.
She didnt realise whilst she was drunk how things were. I loved her and wanted to marry her that is why I made her go.
When she was at littledale I wanted to send her the engagement ring i had bought but had SUE tell me not to bother. Sue told me not to do a number of things. I also know they kept her laptop and told her I hadnt sent it. they gave it her 2 months later. Everything she asked for they told me not to send it.
You tell me? was littledale in the wrong
check your message inbox

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 17, 2011 12:29 am EDT

Doing something different- How dare you insult someone just because you cannot read or understand the shorthand. It doesn't mean they are off their heads. I know you are Littledale staff. Your are that stupid You insult some one who defended your establishment by trying to tarnish them. Just to recap . They have a job and a life.

Peer who was in trouble- Now you can see first hand how Littledale stamp on people. Make them look really bad and make themselves look like they are your family and that only they can be trusted. Ask yourself, what did you do wrong? Give someone hope.Please stay out of my argument with Littledale. You do not deserve any stress as you have a hard test in front of you . Good luck and I hope you succeed in keeping your demons at bay.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 17, 2011 11:02 am EDT

I think I understood that clearly "doing something different" did you. Peer you didnt deserve that at all and I apologise for you getting involved. Why they vebally attacked you like that is beyond me. I thought that you were pro Littledale (even now).
This was my exact point about littledale. The assumption that We are idiots and they can treat you like they want.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 17, 2011 11:33 am EDT

Independant thinker my left butt cheek. Your independent evaluation is about the idea of rehab. If you had read any of the posts in her you will see that the argument is the way the staff make decision and influence the residence into an natural train of thought . It is clear that Littledale keep people away from society to build up their strength and then release people with the hope they wont do it again.
Most people still abstain but with out side help.
I believe that the length of stay is to gain finance not the well being of the patient.
Clearly demonstrated by Littledale staff is their contempt for people who succeed after they tell them they will fail.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 17, 2011 1:49 pm EDT

If one is to be judge should one have the opportunity to defend ones self. I dont think they (littldale) had the right motive

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 24, 2011 1:13 am EDT

I think I would like to thank everyone who has contributed. It has shed light on the inner workings of Littledale. Their so called "sane" outburst insulting people who's positive statement reflected a direction my partner was taking only proved Littledale has an agenda for itself and not for its users. I am confident over time when Littledale has no grip on her my partner will see what is the truth and not Littledales distorted view. Worse mistake you made Littledale is tell her I didn't really love her. When she see's her friends again and finds out what you have kept away from her she will make her own mind up. I am going to let her decide for herself. I will wait for her as long as it takes because I do love her more than you know.
As for doing what you do...9 months and i have help 4 people change their lives for the better and employed 9 people so ### you and you self righteous crap. You tried to use your ex residents to come on here and say something and to what avail. They backed this blog instead. What does that tell everyone. I have made my point and others have made theirs. I have heard people agree with rehab but not with Littledale personal involvement. You are insane to think people wont push back when you push them too far. Another point failing does not go hand in hand with leaving littledale.
It is up to the individual to say no and to police themselves and not blame others for their own choices. I realised I blamed Littledale for my partners choice not anymore. I blame Littledale for "trying" ruin a great part of my life and causing me mental anguish from the day you demanded she end our relationship. when she realises it (and she will) i will show you what the consequence's will be.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 24, 2011 9:30 pm EDT

I have had enough. The only thing I wanted was to be happy with her and her to be sober. I only tried to protect her. I worked as hard as I can to provide everything for a safe environment for her return.
Littledale lied to me. Caused a row between me and her mother. How did that help?
Littledale kept her mail. How did that help?
Littledale have not given her her friends mail. How did that help?
Littledale kept us apart for 9 months. How did that help?
Littledale told my partner that i dont love her. HOW DID THAT HELP?
Littledale told her me pouring her drink away was abuse. HOW DID THAT HELP?
Littledale without knowing the facts said i was a control freak. HOW DID THAT HELP?
I know what has been said in there to her. I also know what I have done out here.
I know it is only a matter of time and I will be reunited with her.
I have done a lot over the last 9 months that will make her proud of me and I am proud of her.
So all this tricks to make me angry, you keep them.
Peer2010: Thanks for the email and sorry if you get any grief.
independent thinker: Yes you have said it right.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 25, 2011 2:15 am EDT

I speak for myself. In which case I use the term I or me. I refer to the important person "my partner" 15 times which by the direction of your statement mean that "I" hold "her" more important than my self.
You really do disgust me in the way you manipulate people. Is this an example of Littledale playing mind games. Is this how you confuse you're residents into believing what you want them to believe.
I also mentioned "help", "how" and "proud".
But lets play your word game. I mentioned one w0rds 14 times in 16 lines and you make a big deal about it.
But in your 2 lines of text you double my ratio and use "I" twice as much. what ever you were trying to point out you are "twice as bad at it".
The mind games that you play wont work out here. Eyes wide open

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 25, 2011 11:45 pm EDT

Mr Very Right are you sober and off drugs? If so why are you on this website? By your reckoning your a alcoholic druggy or are you just a "chancer". The thing with the internet is that all you have to do is make something visible on places like "Wired" or other Rehab forums. and the rest is just a snowball effect. I haven't made it as visible as I can do. Imagine with such little exposure all these people have had their say wait and see what happens when I find out the truth form my partner and when she finds out what Littledale did. It will be her choice to forgive you or not.
As for Graham I dont know him and have never spoken to him so I have no idea about him at all.
I only know how they treated me. I have nothing to do with him.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 27, 2011 9:29 am EDT

I think Littledale need to look at themselves because all I see here is a people being looked down on.
My dad said never look down on someone unless you are going to help them up and I have always believed in that. Think you should should take my philosophy and use it.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 28, 2011 9:23 pm EDT

If I were you take her hand and give her everything she needs to stay focused on what she has achieved. Their support is less important than you. It is clear that she wants to be with you and that is all that matters. If you need financial help message me your details and I will help you. At least I can stop them ruining your lives.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 11, 2011 8:04 am EDT

@stacysolic You again made the assumption that these people are miss using substances. I have met two of them and they are hard working individuals. They are not seeking to blame Littledale for anything accept overstepping their boundaries of control. Controlling an environment where they lived to get well is in my opinion acceptable. To break there emotional ties with loved ones should be their own choice not that of Littledales.
My partner loved her dog and they removed the dog from a loving environment and placed it with strangers. Her friends were left distraught thinking they had let her down when all along she had no say in the matter. You can tell Littledale I intend to find our dog and get her back once once my partner has left Littledale. They think they could just give her away and that she would be forgotten. Never.
There is no assassination of Littledales reputation going on here. The unfortunate thing is that when someone came on here to defend them some idiot from Littledale insulted them. (doing something different)
I am in love with a girl who had a problem. I looked past that problem and saw someone really special. I tried my hardest to help but in my own way was unprepared for what was needed. I couldn't provide 24 hour policing of her environment which is all that littledale hall is and I am not a trained councillor.
Me and her mother tried and failed, actually I failed to move her away from where she lived, but she always found somewhere away from our home to drink. So in my opinion it was her that need to change "NOT THE ENVIROMENT" .
She may have changed.. I dont know.. Why?... Because littledale wont let her speak to me?
I already know about the cryptic way that you break ties by making people think it is there choice and the way that you use neuro linguistic programming.
Take stacysolic: the NLP is clear in the written text. I am surprised that no one real (besides staff) has really defended Littledale, without messaging real stories about them. I have a nice little file building up for everyone to read.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 11, 2011 8:43 am EDT

Oh and stacysolic I started this thread, I am not an alcoholic. All facts are stated here as facts and proof is available. If Littledale feel it makes them look bad then if the shoe fits wear it.
Littledale staff Clearly called me a control freak for doing what they get paid to do.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 12, 2011 7:22 am EDT

4yearsclean: Read the whole thing then make your comment. You will notice everyone who has posted remains clean and dry. Well done for your successful recovery. I hope you made your family proud. My issue is nothing to do with relapse or anything of the sort. I am not a user of Littledale, so your comment has no effect to this thread at all.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 13, 2011 10:33 pm EDT

Regardless of what has gone on I know my partners mum will protect her daughter to her last. She will stand by her even when she is in the wrong which is something I admired about her. Don't get me wrong, she will tell her off but on her own. If she has had a head to head with Sue then it will be in her daughters interest.
The recorded letter was sent by my partners friend. She had sent 4 letters to her and her mum had told her she hasn't received any of them. Guess the cant lie about a recorded letter. I wonder what excuse they have for that.
My partner asked me something similar and i phoned Littledale up and asked Sue, she told me to ignore her as it would make her loose focus on what she is in there for. I still wrote an 8 page letter tell her about everything, but she never got it. instead i got a letter asking why i hadn't wrote. I wrote to her 4 times a week. At least I know Littledale kept them from her.
If you do leave Littledale I suggest you put you Facebook wall onto private and friends only as Littledale have people who read through your profiles and use that information.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 15, 2011 5:06 pm EDT

How do you react to something like this? When I read your "PROFESSIONAL OPINION" I will admit I actually hated myself. For the first time ever I actually wondered if things would be different if I wasn't asian. I wanted to be someone else so that she didn't hate me and I still had a chance to be with her. But no matter what I look like on the outside I will still be me on the inside. I didn't look at what she was on the outside only what she had in her heart. Again it is something she taught me and I know damn well you have not spoken for her. OIL AND WATER ... YOUR KIND... LIKES OF ME. That the sort of racist ### I put up with when I was a little kid.
If you wanted to get at me and hurt me you have done it.
If you wanted to anger me you have done it.
When she leaves I wont try to contact her that will be her choice, but there is not a slightest chance in this world that I will ignore her.
I wasn't born yesterday and I can tell when I see a desperate attempt to make me react.
Yes shell2009 its not the first tie someone from Littledale called me a chancer and yes I know the rules about relationships in there.
Sorry Littledale but you have played the wrong card with me there.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 17, 2011 11:28 am EDT

Do you know what I really am angry about. How you drag her into the office saying she has broken rules when other who have Littledale clearly flaunt images all over of people who are still in treatment. You seem to be more interested in caging her in then in stopping other do what they want. I supposes its because they are the right colour for your approval. And by the way she ain't used her facebook account since she has been in there. You know it, her friend request were accepted from a long time ago. Her messages remain unopen for the last 9 months and she has messages from friends from when she was only 10 on there. Guess you tell her to get rid of the past is your idea of treatment. Well in my opinion you end up making a problem for the future.
Dont try and hint at my race not being good enough again, I am human and "MY KIND" have feelings. Me and her are not "OIL AND WATER" we were more like "Chalk and Cheese"

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 18, 2011 5:00 pm EDT

You are really trying to wind me up.
She has a great family and some very good friends who all miss her. What makes you say we never put her needs first.
What me and her felt was real, I know it is still real in me and will always remain there.
If she is laughing at me then I will be the jester if it makes her smile. She made me smile and I will never forget it.
If you expect me to bite you can forget it.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 21, 2011 1:30 pm EDT

So you are staff.
I hold my hands up ... I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM NOT AN EXPERT . I TRIED AND I FAIL AND YES I FEEL LIKE I LET HER DOWN. I dont need you to be righteous and tell me I let her down. I have many regrets about how I went about things and if I could turn back time I would, but dont ever say I never loved her because even now she is more to me than I ever realised. If she didn't love me then why did it take you 5 months to drum that out of her. Why did you block me from seeing her, and stop her from getting the letters from me. If I was the problem why have a go at her friends. They haven't done anything wrong to her. As for the dog, she was looked after really well, Me and her mate felt like ### when we found out she had got rid of her. You made us believe she had done it out of choice and I recently found out you made her do it. If she chooses to take her dog back will you let her? Or is that another tie that you broke to keep her in treatment.
I am not perfect and I made mistakes, but loving her was not one of them. I wont stop because I cant. She may have done but I can only hope she hasn't.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 21, 2011 5:22 pm EDT

Hold on you dick, . She looked after that dog better than anyone. Yes I agree she made mistakes but that dog came first and we made sure that dog was well looked after when she was in there because if it wasn't she would have left.
Now I know your a chatting ###, She never asked me for anything. She was never materialistic at all and never wanted money off me. She used to get mad at how I wasted my money but never for herself she wanted me spend more time with her and the kids.
Who ever you are you have no idea who she really is. Our relationship may have been a bit messed up but she never lied about how she felt. she couldn't have. I never felt like how she made me feel. If that was a lie then I have no idea what life is all about.
Her mother may not like me, I probably deserve it after the way i spoke to her. I hold my hand up, but her mother never raised her daughter up like that. If she decided she wanted to be with me her mother wouldn't stand in her way.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 24, 2011 8:17 pm EDT

Your right she hasn't lost any loved ones. I will be here waiting. It is me who has lost out.
I started this because I thought that I was being treated unfairly. I was.
I made it quite clear from the start that I had no idea how to help my partner stop drinking and some of the things I did were wrong. I know i shouldn't have poured her vodka away or hide her bank card so that she didn't waste her money on beer.
I have always been told that its not the act but the intention that is important.
I acted wrong, but my actions were to help her.
You want me lose a really important part of my life.
The only thing I wanted was for us to have a happy family together. Her going to Littledale was meant to be a step in that direction. I was meant to start our business while she was in there and when she left she would go to University and finish the course she had left.
Can you tell me what I was doing that was so wrong.
How have you turned love into hate?
I have had no chance to explain how I feel at all, even now that she has left you keep her under wraps so that she is unable to speak freely with her friends.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 25, 2011 11:13 am EDT

Sue your "professional opinion" you can keep to yourself. Lets face it that is who you are. You gave it away that you were a key worker when you mentioned one on ones and the women solidarity thing that women should stick together (female).
So now I know who and what sort of people I really am dealing with.
First of all Sue as her key worker you should never have blamed her mum for stopping me seeing K. that caused a fight. Not very professional
You kept on telling me what i should and shouldn't mention to her in letters and told me not to do what k asked me to. I also like the way you kept her laptop and told me that she wouldn't get it for a while yet you told her I hadn't sent it. I have the letter from her telling me I may a swell not send it now. 4 weeks after you had already signed for it. and then you wipe it. Deleting all her programs Why?
She asked for a mountain bike which gets sent and you keep that too. Have you give it to her now?
I don't expect you to understand how I feel, I don't expect you to care as I don't pay you to.
I know that all you are is a business and there are many people who I have given a platform to speak from.
When i see K i will apologise if she felt I had done her any wrong. I will explain that i may have been in the wrong with how I went about things. But I will ask her to look into her heart and tell me if she honestly believes that I did it thinking I was wrong. Or did i do it because I simply was in love with her

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 26, 2011 3:10 pm EDT

it took you 9 months of keeping us apart. If you are that confident we were never in love let me speak to her face to face for 15 mins. In that short amount of time I will know what is what. If she feels like I was in the wrong I want to know for myself. I accept people can change but you cannot change the thing that is inside you. You can adapt to others needs but you still want what you want.
I am sure that what I did was for her benefit and people close to her can vouch for it. I am not perfect but I have a good heart. You call me controlling, I suggest that you take a look at yourselves and tell me what you did that was so different.
You kept her away from people. I trusted her to make her own mind up but when that trust was broken I intervened.
You kept her money. I made sure she always had money.
You only let her write to who you allowed. I let her speak to people who didn't give her spirits.
You fed her. I tried to feed her.
You locked her away from society. I kept her in society
You got paid . I did it for love
When you stop being paid you will forget about her. I will still be here.
You had it easy with all your help. I had it hard because there was only me and her mum.
Harvey house did her detox and I was there every day even when she told the wanderer she didn't want to go Littledale I spoke to her and promised I would wait for her.
I have kept every promise I made her and I will still be here waiting till "she decides".
I dont think she lied to me or her friends like you made out and I dont believe she has someone else and i certainly dont believe she used me.
I hope she reads this and realises what you all have been doing.
I hope everyone reads this and goes to a better rehab, one that cares for their residents interest and not their own.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 26, 2011 8:27 pm EDT

I know that you have corrupted her mind so i think you need reminding what is important.
► Its not the colour of your skin but the color of your character;
► Its not the language that you speak but the words that you use;
► Its not where you live but how you live;
► Its not how much you earn but what you do to earn it;
► Its not where you are but how you got there;
► Its not that you are a human being but the kind of human being you are.

You may disagree to my beliefs but I dont think many other will.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 28, 2011 8:37 am EDT

Who deserves what in life? You are dealt cards and you do the best you can with them. I dont expect her to come running because I am not that special, I am not a good looking hunk, I haven't got the best lifestyle in the world because I work damn hard. I dont live in an affluent area of wealthy people. Why would she run to me.
What i do have is the hop that she knows no matter what happens I will always put her first and I will never let her down again. Most of all that it will not be a gamble, it will be a sure thing. She thinks her views have change since she has been sober. Well why not take a look and see if she really remembers me in the right light.

Update by Unhappy family
May 08, 2011 2:06 pm EDT

Thanks for the support. Its good to know I am not the only one who feels this is wrong. I refuse to respond to proffesional opinions thoughts as I believe its their way of making me react. I dont care who you say she is seeing and I dont care for your sly digs and put downs. I am not perfect, far from it but I am a good person person who is done his best to help some one he loves dearly. may not have been good enough but to try and kill my heart you should take a look at your high and mighty selves.
I want to hear it from her, but you wont let her because your house of cards will come tumbling down

Update by Unhappy family
May 08, 2011 8:33 pm EDT

Now you are lying. I have never ever been violent to her. When ever she was out of control I used cold water to calm her down, ask anyone. If I had not tried to stop her she would never have got to Littledale. To clear another point you made, Littledale would let her ring me and originally tried to stop me from speaking to her in any way shape of form. Yet here you are saying you don't do that. Even her friends have been threatened with the police by staff. You just don't want her to know the truth.
You called her a user, made her out to be materialistic, said she was seeing someone else. All lies.
She isnt free to do what she wants, only to do what you say she can.

Update by Unhappy family
May 08, 2011 10:20 pm EDT

I would love to find out who it is. Who ever it is has manipulated my partner. It took them 5 months to break her into ending out relationship. By reading The comments on here I believe their biggest concern was that I wasn't the right colour. Although at first I didn't see it, its clear in the words used by proffesional opinion.
If this is how the describe me, I would hate how they twisted me in her mind. Her close friends are not allowed to contact her. Her mother informed her friend that she had not received any letters from her yet she had sent 4. Only when she had sent one recorded delivery did she receive it.
My honest opinion is that its not about her any more. They know if she communicates with anyone form Burnley she will become aware of how much they have lied to her. The opinion she has is completely wrong.
Passionate worker : You don't know me. However be aware that I tried to stop my partner drinking. I made her go to her AA meetings and when she missed thats why we would row. I poured her spirits away and gave her beer instead (weaker). I tried to make her eat and paid off her debts. I work, own my own homes (no mortgages) and as my partner wanted I own my own company and employ 16 people now. I didnt know how to deal with the situation but I learned and along the way I adjusted to help her go to rehab. I don't drink or do anything that could put her at risk anymore. I planned to move from the street we lived on so that she would be in a safe environment. I dont think I could do anything else.

Update by Unhappy family
May 10, 2011 8:39 am EDT

To give you a true idea of Proffesional opinions cowardice. This is the message sent to me privately. If you can post the name in a message then you wont mind it being put on here then will you? I admit it I am now more curious to find out if its true or is this part of this evil thing you do. Try to make me believe that the girl I love is nothing more than a cheat.

Professional-Opinion
11 days ago
Why you still persistent? You are nothing more than tooth ache that needs to extracted. She has a new interest in her life and you are not it. Ask her who lyndyn is? She may not want to upset you but if you ask her in your persuasive way she may tell you. Be prepare to find out how worthless you are to her. People who love each other don't mess around do they. I am sure that you wouldn't have done what she has done to you. I actually feel pity for you. Come back when your a bit wiser and older, we been in this game a lot longer than you have.

Update by Unhappy family
May 11, 2011 8:53 pm EDT

turtleglove, baldyman, mr very right, doing something different, professional opinion, bewareoffakers you all have ridiculed, insulted and disrespected myself and others who have commented on here.
Charmingbetty I thank you and others for pointing out clearly the intentions of these people.
For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. I think its time I sat back and waited.
My mistake is that I allowed you to provoke me and let you make me feel like I was not worthy of being loved.
I can promise that I have no intentions of changing her mind. I will let her see for herself how much I truely loved her and IF such a thing really exist I know in my heart that we will be together again. Everything that I ever did was for her protection and for her benefit (thank you for seeing that Rebecca) if I am wrong for doing what I did i will gladly accept the punishment.
I notice that you have yet to say my actions were wrong on here. Why?
Because you know that many people in my situation would (and have) done what I did to protect their loved ones.
I am Superman I am Romeo and I am mortal.
Kiss my rebel ### if you think you will ever make me feel bad again
AJ

Update by Unhappy family
May 12, 2011 11:06 am EDT

You know I wont do anything that would upset or hurt her progress and although you deserve it I wont risk her being affected by this. I hope you are sincere and I am sorry to everyone for backing down. Please understand she means more to me than getting back at them. I hope they learned a lesson of not judging a book by its cover.
I dont believe I am going to say this but with power come great responsibility. I think you shouldn't judge everyone the same.

Update by Unhappy family
May 14, 2011 5:04 pm EDT

Pro op sent me a message. I cant post it on here but I have sent it to some of you so you can understand my position.
I still don't trust Littledale and I don't think they expected "my kind" to give a damn.
I still have to wait. I am hoping the damage they have done is reversible without causing her problems.
icantbelieveit: Please tell your friend to stay strong and DO NOT give up on her. Tells him not to listen to what they say only what she tells him.

Update by Unhappy family
May 17, 2011 10:01 am EDT

Yes that was me in the "big brother house". They made her give up the dog baileys and I know that was never by her choice. I know her well enough to know she wouldn't do it unless she had been convinced it was her only option and I bet even now she will be thinking of her, I know I do.
Makes me think that if they could make her do that what else they could make her do and make her believe it was really her choice (not)?
I dont regret telling her to go because I feel I did what I said was for or benefit. If I could turn back time I still think I made the right decision for her, not the best one knowing what Littledale is like.
Thing is she wont know what has been going on out here and when she does I will let "her" decide what "she" wants to do.
I still love her and will wait as long as it takes.

Update by Unhappy family
May 23, 2011 1:11 pm EDT

Sorry, I dont want to let anyone on here down. I have not given up, nor do I intend to.
I will admit I am in a very horrible place at this moment. I have realised that Littledale will not risk being exposed for what they are and that there is nothing I can do about it without causing her stress. I am sorry but she is my priority and always has been. I am putting my trust in what I think is the truth. I have faith that she loved me before she went into Littledale. She loved me for 5 months whilst under their influence and it took them 5 months to eliminate me from her thoughts.
A friend of mine spoke to her and she told him she would get into trouble for talking to them. Even now they wont give her the freedom to make her own mind up. I cant change what they have done, but I am still going to keep my promise.
@shackattack thanks for the message it helps, but it is a very painful experience. I have to wake up everyday wondering and thinking and I have no answers.

Update by Unhappy family
May 25, 2011 10:19 am EDT

Thanks but no thanks, I would prefer her to work this out herself. What ever she has been told about me in there seems to be focused around every possible negative in our life. I cant change that and to be honest I have only regrets about certain things. The idea of her going to rehab was so that we could have a better life and get out of the rut of her waking drinking and all the arguments that ensued. She was not to blame, it was the drink, but when she was sober life with her was the best. Thats what I wanted and thats what I will wait for.
I know she will remember and she will realise everything I did was for her and yes me too.
I do appreciate you confirming K is not with someone.

Update by Unhappy family
May 25, 2011 7:13 pm EDT

Thank you but I don't want you to get into trouble. I know how they work and what would happen if you were found out.
Thank you again for confirming that Pro Op lied

Update by Unhappy family
May 30, 2011 5:23 pm EDT

Never spoke to anybody about anything. I was completely shunned. Never asked anything considering I was with her for 3 years you would think they would have. I did email Keith and told him everything about my past. After reading Professional opinions comment its quite obvious why.
I have read your message and I don't know the man you refer to but i suspected the women you mentioned.
I know how I feel about not being able to speak to her or getting answers. I know here better than Littledale, her heart is way too emotional for them to suppress. I loved her for it and always will. some people are one in a million, she is completely unique. She is the one that is why I will wait for her.
Love is something Littledale have NO idea about.

Update by Unhappy family
Jun 30, 2011 2:52 pm EDT

I haven't realised anything, I am still waiting. Was not ignoring you people, I am sorry if it seemed that way.
I am not embarrassed about how I feel or of my situation. I still love her and as I have said many times that will not change.
One more thing what old ways are you referring to and to my knowledge I have never have been off the rails and by off the rails it seems that you have insinuated I had some sort of issue. I have no issues and the only holic I suffer from is work.
I dont know what she wants, and if I ever see her I will show her you private message. I know when someone is trying to make me snap. It is not going to happen.

Update by Unhappy family
Jun 30, 2011 2:55 pm EDT

@MrPTotal answer is yes I am real although Littledale would have wished I wasn't. Be prepared for everything your mate has done to help to be twisted into something nasty.

Update by Unhappy family
Jun 30, 2011 2:58 pm EDT

@in group: No thank you - If she wants to speak to me it will be on her terms. Please dont discuss me and her. I would like her to choose off her own back.

Update by Unhappy family
Jul 04, 2011 12:47 am EDT

Strange though it may seem to people following this but I am at peace with myself.
Wondering if I was right or wrong in my action led me to a dark place in my life.
Littledale did exactly what I believed they did and now I have clarity my self doubt has gone.
I don't believe that you fail because you didn't try hard enough, I believe you underestimate the effort required to overcome the obstruction ahead of you. assess, re-evaluate and try try try again. Giving up is failing.
Littledale make people quit drinking, that is not true people do that because they want to and do that on their own.
Littledale put people on the right track, I may agree to that, but who decides what track to go on. It seems that Littledale's end of treatment choices are do what we say or your on your own.
Also looks like Littledale has some serious flaws in its claim to being the best.
Some one mentioned the awards and yes I checked it all out. Littledale is a school as well as a rehab. their award was for offering learning opportunities.
My research into other rehabilitation techniques and services have concluded one thing.
If you want to quit you will do it. After 3 months of seclusion, you should face the world and see what happens. if your not strong enough then seek support.
Easiest way to learn to swim is to jump in the pool.
I seriously think the government should look into spending more on outcare workers than places like this.

238 comments
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gemma smith
colne, GB
Apr 17, 2011 12:32 am EDT

i think u r Total knob head saying all that stuff... who do u think u r saying all that! who do u think ur saying all that abt she got sum 1 else... basicly WHO THE ### DO YOU THINK YOUR ###ING ARE U ###ING HADDOCK! i dont even no who u r o what u r trying to say but ur getting on my tits so i suggest u keep ur professional opinion to ur self u low life piece ov trout...who r u to decide for people... u ant god so hide under a bush n ava piss ya cos fillet! gemmma!

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peer-2010
preston, GB
Apr 17, 2011 7:23 pm EDT
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Well said everyone. I know you'll be hurting and that doubt will be in your head, but that was a really nasty thing for them to say and I can almost 100% guarantee you that what has been said by professional opinion is the opinion of only one of the Littledale staff. If you had flipped and gone mad and ranted they would have said look at him (even though anyone would have gone mad at that) but you would have been the fool. It is a way for them to make her dislike you. You haven't done anything wrong and they have no ammunition to keep you apart. She will remember the good things soon enough. keeping a torch burning for someone without any correspondence is a brave and loving thing to do. I take my hat off to you. If she fails to see it then it is her loss, but remember what choice did she have?

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Apr 18, 2011 11:56 am EDT

What I said is my opinion and Chalk and Cheese is not really a good comparison if you take a look at yourself. You tried to buy her everything she wanted and she rejected you because that is not the way our people work. You think that what you had was real? It was nothing and the sooner you realise it and move on the better. You EX is much happier and laughs when you are ever brought up in a conversation and that is rarer than catching a fish in river. You keep holding on to that torch of your and you end up with your hands burnt. We have offered her some thing she never had, a family that cared about her needs instead of their own. Do you think sending her a laptop and all your stupid gifts would make her think you were special. She wanted to get away from you all and we gave her the support to move on with her life. You think she cares about you and your friends, your wrong. Get over her, she is well over you and is glad to be rid of you and all those pathetic pictures.

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Anti-Evi-Squadl
Lancaster, GB
Apr 20, 2011 6:17 pm EDT

I cant believe this. Does she know? I think you must really love her and its sad that this so called rehab would openly torment you like this. I am willing to bet that she is in the dark about it all. Yes I do know her. I hope she does give you an explanation. It must be awful waiting for someone only to find she is seeing some one else. If its a lie then its still a cruel thing to put in his head. You should always bet on love. I did and I have achieved happiness even though Littledale said it would only stifle opportunities I couldn't believe how much I changed. It only take a moment to remember and be there for her when she does. If you still love her?

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ma j
Dundee, GB
Apr 20, 2011 10:16 pm EDT

Now it makes more sense what has been said. She is a lovely girl and you will be really happy when you see her. She has such a good heart and you really are doing the right thing. I got pretty emotional when I read through this. You asked Littledale what would they do in your position and they just completely ignored you. If you want my opinion as a recovered alcoholic you did what my family did and I don't resent them for it. She wont hate you but she will find it difficult to face the things that have gone on.
Littledale will make her choose not to face them as it is easier to just start again afresh. You are so unlucky for trying to do right you must feel like your being punished. I don't know what to say to make this any better for you. I wish I could. Like everyone said hang in there. When I left I felt determined to keep at it. It took me a few weeks to realise the journey that I had undertaken was not mine but one chosen for me. I don't dislike Littledale because I learned a lot and I have rebuilt my life, but if they had done this to me I really couldn't handle it. You need to be sure you love her because when she realises the lies that they have weaved around her by the staff, the peers and mentors like us she wont know who or what to believe.
Are you sure you want her to go through that?

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Apr 21, 2011 1:07 pm EDT

We have had some deep one on ones and your controlling nature is evident in all our conversations, I may have suggested what she did but it was her choice.
She knows you didn't give a damn about her really. You only pretend to love her. You think she loved you, but that was her feeling sorry for you. Take a good look at yourself. How many times did you let her down? No wonder she drank herself till she were ill. Look at you and her so called friends, couldn't even look after her dog never mind her. You have no idea what is in her interest so like i said be a good little boy and let her do some good here where she is wanted.

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Apr 21, 2011 1:42 pm EDT

No you pathetic idiot, she gave up the dog by her own choice and to a very good home. She has become a confident new woman with new goals and wants to live a substance free life. We have provided her with a community to support that choice instead of the run down derelict home you had. We empowered her and dealt with her social issues. Do you really want her to fail? You failed in your life why drag her down with you. You should stick with your own kind and maybe you will find happiness.

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stacey kendall
Burnley, GB
Apr 21, 2011 2:05 pm EDT

right hold on a minute i am one of her "so called mates" and one thing that i do know is that them two loved each other ! he has been lost without her...i know that your talkin absolute nonsense about him failing her because he did his best and its thanks to him that she is there in the first place! see what i dont get is why would she not want anything to do with her mates and why would she get rid of the dog? that dog meant everything to her and it was being well looked after while she hasnt been around!when everybody told him to leave her he still stood by her when most other guys would have just ###ed off! she should be askin herself why did he stay with her...if it aint love then whet the ### is it? she knows him and all her mates will always be here for her when shes home but what she decides to do is up to her not you not him not anyone! if she really really didnt want him she should at least say it to his face after all he has done for her. you have kept them apart for 9 months if they see each other i very much doubt you will be able to keep them apart.i should know i have seen them together and they are great !

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Apr 21, 2011 4:43 pm EDT

How much did he pay you to say that? She didn't look after her dog properly and she was told it wasn't being cared for by him. If you are a so called friend, tell this chancer to find someone more like him in fact if you think he is so great why dont you marry him. You think what you want about the way we help people but that is what we do and if they fail then that is their fault not ours. She asked us for help we didn't tell her to come here. She wants to help others now and that is a good thing. We can show her how. What can he give her? Lies, deceit a relationship where his family look down on her. Her mother could not stand him, what future did they have? She agreed with what we did here, why else did she agree to stay here.
Sometime people lie to get what they want, does he not realise she lied to him to get what she wanted.

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peer-2010
preston, GB
Apr 21, 2011 7:16 pm EDT
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Calm down. All you can do is wait. You been told time and time again that this is what they will do. Let it happen 9 months of her thinking you were wrong for her wont just disappear over night. when she realises how much you love her she will want to talk to you. I don't think anyone with a heart could let someone suffer like this. I hope!

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Apr 22, 2011 12:44 pm EDT

Oh her feeling for you are long gone and are aimed at someone new. You thought sending her flowers would work, although the chocolates were very nice the poetry was like it was written by a 5 year old. You should have seen the look of disgust on her face. You served your purpose and are no longer needed.
As for how her mother raised her, how would you know? Your knowledge of her past is minuscule at the most and irrelevant. Her mother played no part in her life for a long time a fact which she is all to aware of. In a question of need her mother needs her more that she needs her mother, another reason to keep a large distance between them. To conclude little boy her mother has no say.

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Liam Tallon
Burnley, GB
Apr 22, 2011 3:15 pm EDT

WHO ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE BOY? I have known him since i was 12 year old and have known her before they met. He has done nothing but good for people and always looked out for me, her and all our friends. I tried to keep out of this but your poisonous tongue is making my blood boil.
If you want to know who loved who I know AJ loves K and K loves AJ.
K has been my friend for a long time and what ever she chooses to do is her choice but I want to see her say it to his face. If what you are saying is true she will easily be able to look at him and tell him not in a letter or on a phone call. I have been picking up the pieces since all this has happened and its hard for me to watch him suffer.
I know he loved her because I was there in Harvey House when he walked out of a meeting that nearly cost him his job because she was crying on the other end of the phone. I watched how the talked in each other arms and how he cried when he left. If you saw what i saw that day no one would ever doubt they were in love. I read the letters she sent him and the one that you had told her she had to end it with him. She wouldnt do it. It took you lot 5 months to finally make her do it. You kept them apart for all this time.
If K see's 10% (mine and K's nickname for AJ) I know she will remember all the good things too.
I dont like seeing a good guy like him suffer for what you lot have put in her head.

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The D man
GB
Apr 22, 2011 8:06 pm EDT

I don't know what ### you filled in to her head but if this is anything to go by you have a lot to answer to. That's my little sis in there and AJ is my mate. My man looked after her the best he could and I listened to her tell me how much she loved him. They may have had some arguments but it was all down to her drinking. She got paranoid and she put herself in positions most men would have gone mental at. Fair play to him he has stood by her and waited for her and then you come on here saying she used him and that she lied to all us. your full of ###. You can tell her I will come up and see her and let her say she lied to me to. And one more thing I dont like is you describing my mate as though he was some alien species, he was born here. He is one of the most loved people in Burnley and I would be happy if I was a tenth of the man he is.
If you read this you know who I am k. Your man is never been out of line with you. Why are you letting them do this to him. Speak to him. And why you letting them disrespect you mum like that.
You know he hasnt told anyone what has happened, I found out cos he couldnt keep it in. He wont believe these people and i dont blame him. You dont just stop loving some one. He hasnt.

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captain Paul
GB
Apr 23, 2011 12:57 am EDT

I am no expert and neither is AJ (why are we calling him that ) on the subject of treating people who cant stop drinking. What I don't understand is if someone (by someone I mean AJ) tried his damn hardest to help her, had arguments because of it and for all terms and purposes was put through the ringer to make her go to rehab, why is it that a place that is there to help doesn't want him ( or his kind (is it me or are you trying to say something here)) to continue supporting her recovery. Its just "A" thought.
The reason I mentioned it was because the days before she went in. they had a massive row because she didn't want to go. He used top tell her off for missing her appointments for AA. She was first to admit it that if he hadnt pushed her to go she wouldnt have. with all the ### he got he still helped her pack up and get ready. When she went he organised everything behind her so she had nothing to worry about. We know she loved him. She kept going on and on and on about it. We made him believe it. So when your say all this ### about him and that she has apparently lied about loving him and used him we know your talking wet. If she wanted anything he wouldnt say no but she would always pay him back if she borrowed money. That was something AJ respected about her. When she sat with us and told us how much she loved him she didn't need to.
Him and her ma had a real do and even that was one of your lots fault. You blamed her mum for AJ not being able to see her I heard your staff say it on speaker phone. After all he had done for her daughter i would have been mad in his shoes. But that wasn't the truth was it. Her mum had nothing to do with it. Yet you let them to fall out with each other. What was your motive behind that?
When she comes to Burnley I will be telling her a few home truths and if she doesn't I will be coming to find her. This isnt right what you have done. you are meant to help rebuild families yet you have tore AJ's up. He is still waiting for her and for his nightmare to end. Me personally I think she is a selfish ### for writing that letter, but know do I know what pressure you put on her.
DO i think it was true. No I don't believe she is a liar and how professional opinion portrayed her one bit. I met here ma once and I don't think she will let you get away with calling her daughter either. Thats probably why you wont want her to come back here because if I was her I would sue your ###.

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Mates of K
GB
Apr 23, 2011 11:49 am EDT

K is not seeing anyone and I have spent a lot of time with her. Who ever Professional Opinion is the sick individual is not spoke a word of truth. She had very strong feelings towards you and it is not for me to say why they changed, but with how it looks I understand the conclusion it was Littledale to blame. I didn't know you hadn't spoken to her which I feel is unfair as she used to appreciate what you did for her.
My guess is that Littledale do not want you to speak and compare notes. Give her time and who knows she may try and get in contact with you. If Littledale advise against it she should ask herself why? Everyone seems to have a really high opinion of you.

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Apr 23, 2011 2:19 pm EDT

I am not in the habit of repeating myself but you all are now in her past.Who has she contacted since she left? Should she decide that she doesn't want to live a useful and productive life I am sure you will be the first people she will contact. She will go back to living an vague existence instead of an abstinent one where all her vulnerabilities were overcome with my support. We have a passion for our work that goes way beyond what your tiny minds can comprehend, even her mother can not fully understand what her daughter has become.
These people writing about who and what she is have no idea. They say family knows best, and we are taking on that role of her family. Mates of K - How would you know who she is seeing? I think you should keep well out of this. Her new interest are only being hampered by interference but it is inevitable that "AJ" (is that meant to be a cool name) is history and what's past is past.
If you were in treatment with her then you need to stick with the programme and help her not ruin her chance of a better life. Women need to show solidarity and that we can cope on our own.

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danielle cunliffe
burnley, GB
Apr 24, 2011 2:09 am EDT

well i fink littledale r jokes takes me sendin a letter recored delivery for er to get a letter she thought i didnt giv a ###, , afta sendin four letters n thats ment to do er any gud is it takin conrtol ov who she gets letters of me and k r rely close n that ### place made er fink i didnt giv a fuk took my mate away found out from er mum she wernt getin my letters n didnt even no my new address fukin joke, , ther jus out for muni not helpin ppl, , , aj is gud guy did alot for k n for u to make him out like that is a joke, , , that place needs shutin down yeh u got er off beer but also took all er loved ones hows that help, , , i want my mate bk n aint givin up si littledale up urs xxxxx danielle cunliffe

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Apr 24, 2011 12:53 pm EDT

Don't you think that you should learn to type and spell. She has not lost any loved ones. You need to be loved to be a loved one. If she chooses to ignore her old life that is her decision and with your ramblings can you actually write an eligible letter. Post gets lost all the time or misplaced we can't be held responsible for you failing to address a letter properly.
Don't you think you already made a mistake coming up here on your fantasy mission, why are you still trying to contact someone who doesn't wish to contact you.

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Apr 25, 2011 10:33 am EDT

You have nothing left to explain. She knows you were a nasty horrid person who has no right to speak to her. You two have no future which is something we all can be thankful for. If she wanted to speak to you she can easily pick up the phone and ring you. We wouldn't stop her. We haven't advised her against it, but it wont help her if she did.

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danielle cunliffe
burnley, GB
Apr 26, 2011 1:03 pm EDT

no didnt make no mistake going up ther, , , omg i will write how fuk i like u may be able to get every one in ther to do wot u like but got my own mind thanks, , , and who da fuk r u to say wot k feels bout aj, , , alll seems to b cumin from u not her, , , joke simple n letters yeh got lost alrite im not daft i no wot address i sent um to, same as always, , got the one sent recored delivery tho didnt ya o n that was same address iv always wrote to, , , your place is joke simple as that got ppl that want help sort ther lives out n u take control n get um do wot u want, not wot they want, , jus ppl to mug around ur place for free, , , n u tel me wot u like me and k r close i dnt need u to tell me any different alrite, , , so jog on go try play wi sum body else mind!

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peer-2010
preston, GB
Apr 27, 2011 9:14 pm EDT
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If she doesn't realise what she is losing then she doesn't deserve you. You have stayed on your path and kept on even though they have said all those nasty things. Having said that you have no idea what they have been saying to her while she has been in there. She will have been programmed to only believe all the negative things that she remembers was all your life was about. Don't expect her to come running back to you open armed. As for professional opinions ### saying she can ring when ever she wants, that is a lie. They would have drummed it into her head not to ring you and not to contact common friends so that she doesn't think about you. This may sound corny but love is something that is hard to erase. she will have feelings and they wont want them to resurface

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shell2009
morcombe, GB
Apr 29, 2011 12:26 pm EDT
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Karl's been reading your comments and wants you to know it wasn't as simple as me walking back to him. When I left I had all the stuff they told me wirling round in my head. I didnt know if going back o him was right but I realised all the thing he did were to help me. They made him sound really bad for me. Peers is right. 9 months of nothing to do with you will have helped her forget. Believe me you will not be flavour of the month. You did what you felt was right . They have a team of people watching her every move and by your own admission you knew you let her down. If she cant respect that you admit your own faults openly then she needs to look at herself and ask what has she been told to think.
She has had her life structured and rule and she is no left to her own devices. She will be scared of failing more than anything and she will be determined not to fall back into her vices. My guess is that somewhere along the way Littledale will have made her believe your action were selfish and bad.
What she will eventually see is that you did what you did to help her and you should wait and see. When you don't talk things can seem worse because you only see your side.
With what your friends say it wasn't like she was the best girlfriend in the world either yet you stood by her, she will see that and as will her family.
Be calm and wait and see. If she is a decent girl she will talk to you. If Littledale tell her not to then they must have something to hide.
Littledale: Is it not true that closure is very important? By stopping them talking have you not left a problem for her to face in the future?

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Friend of K and AJ
GB
Apr 30, 2011 5:36 pm EDT

No wonder AJ has been so down.
I would like to ask why K got rid of the dog. She would never do that unless she was made to do it.
Why does K think AJ was so bad, I don't get it. They were fine for ages and then all of a sudden she decides he is really bad. I have read through this whole thing and she really needs to speak to him.
I dont know what has been said to K, but she was loved and cared for by AJ anyone who saw them knew that. He tried to stop her getting herself in states. He was not controlling. He tried to do his best to help her out. You disgust me Littledale for your role in what I think is brainwashing.
I know K very well and before you say it I don't drink. I know what AJ should have done, but he was too in love with her and still is. I am really glad that people have spoken up for AJ. He is a really caring guy that has the respect of a lot of people. K will tell you herself that he has a great heart.
I hope she will see sense and make her own mind up..

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freeadvice
GB
Apr 30, 2011 7:41 pm EDT

Hi AJ,
I think you have been told by everyone to wait. I want to say wait to. I also know who is being mentioned on here. She didn't want to give up her dog, she was made to think it was the right choice. It was not an easy thing. She was also made to think her you was not good for her future and they made her question why she was with you. TBH I have heard only some comments about you and after reading this many of us have got a lot of sympathy for you but please understand we cannot say anything as we will get grief off Littledale. If we say anything to her she may tell staff and we would be removed from the programme. We only know what we get told and even though its against the rules to discuss each other we still do so I can guarantee you she is definitely not seeing anyone. That is a very sick and twisted thing to say to you. Its obvious someone wants you to get angry.
I understand how hard it is for you trying to do what you think is right. Its not fair being called controlling for trying to stop her drinking. My brother used to lock me up, hid my purse and also did many other things that made me mad, does it sound familiar. I spoke to him and we sorted our differences out. After speaking I realised he was only doing it for my own good. I never realise how much I embarrassed him, You haven't had that chance. I don't agree with that.
Its not easy accepting that we are without fault and we look to blame anyone we can for why we were the way we were. I can see that you have been misrepresented but she wont. She will have accepted what her peers and counsellors have advised her to do. They gain your trust and you become and open book to be organised and prompted and its very difficult not to trust what they tell us. They were very good at making me feel like I was wrong when I questioned anything and I would end up agreeing with them even when I didn't. You end up keeping your real feelings locked away so that you don't get nagged and it is easier.
I am not going lie to you she may not speak to you. Please trust me, she has had a lot to deal with and if you give her time she may give you a chance to talk. You sound like a really nice guy and I hope she will see past what she has been told but only if she is left to do it on her own. I did but it takes time. She has completed and she will soon start to wonder why Littledale is so against you communicating. She will come to her own conclusion, but not while she is in earshot of Littledale. If you do love her wait and see, she is a lovely girl and I can understand why you want to be with her. I hope you take my advice. L

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
May 02, 2011 12:42 pm EDT

The weak girl who left you all that time ago has developed into a confident beautiful woman. It was clear from the onset the negative influences you and your friends had on her. You call your self friends but you used her to get what you wanted and only spied on her for him.
She wanted to get better but you held her back because you liked her like this because she was easier to control. Through our social model TC showed her how her life how to get out of her monotone existence. We don't brainwash, but we help delete the destructive behaviour patterns from peoples life making them lead more productive lives. We did for her what I did for one of my own.
We wont let the babblings of some lost hope ruin her career choice. She doesn't want to speak to you or your idiotic drugged up friends

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freeadvice
GB
May 02, 2011 7:27 pm EDT

Professional opinion you're a liar. You told her to avoid contact with her friends. I know she dont blame him for how she was. I also know that you made her believe his actions were not that of a concerned boyfriend. She is still under the scrutiny of Littledale and here determination to please everyone is the reason for her actions. When I spoke to her she said she knew how much you tried to help her. If that view of you as changed then Littledale have made her think it. You know it, her friends will know it and she will remember it. I am speaking from my own experience. If she saw this she will know how much you and her friends cared. I would love nothing more than to see her read this and then shove your professional opinion where the sun don't shine.
If she don't speak to you don't blame yourself. My family and friends did exactly the same as you. In fact if you ask anybody who has been through this they would have done what you did.
Have faith that she is not what they are making her out to be.

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Team-UF
bradford, GB
May 03, 2011 7:10 pm EDT

i left lhtc i did n had conflict bout what id bin told n i dunt lik wat i ave red ere u ave no right telin im is bird seein sum one else wat sort a ### is that i new sommat was up n ur messin wit im n her
ur control freeks not im n she trust use lot im glad i red its cos id think it wer me feelin lik i wer in wrong for avin feelins bout my freinds an i plan on seein em an makin my own mind up chin chin
i think ur doin rite uf im on ur side

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googa
Kingsport, US
May 03, 2011 11:05 pm EDT

Let me start off by saying, I personally do not know anyone who has commented on this page. To prove that I'll add a little info on myself. I'm a 28 yr old female from Tennessee, I work at a local retail store, and I have never been addicted to anything.
I have read every single comment left on this forum, from start to finish, and I must say I'm blown away! Forgive me, for I speak a little different from everyone else on here. @Unhappy Family, Love your heart! You seem to be a very sweet, caring man. I'm as gay as they come(call me out if you wish), but it's men like you who show "us" lesbians what we're missing. You are a wonderful man. I don't care what damn color you are or what your background is, you are what us southerners call a good damn man! Kudos to the few who have stood by his side, and ### off to those who have tried to pull him down. Your just jealous because he is more of a man than you will ever be, or your husbands will ever be!
@Professional-Opinion, you are a very, very sad little chicken ###! You pick a name that you think does you good, however you are far from professional. Your spelling is horrible, your punctuation is even worse and make fun of him because of his background, yet your English is very broken. You are a very pathetic person, a child when it comes to matters of the heart.
Point blank, you suck! UF, keep waiting honey, one day your time will come. Either with her(which I hope for you) or with someone who will love you more than you could ever imagine. Keep your head up, and stand proud because you my dear, are a very special person!
Jess

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passionate worker
Fresno, US
May 07, 2011 1:11 pm EDT

professional opinion- you use the word professional very loosely, as a manager of a treatment centre I can safely say that if one of my staff behaved the way you are I would make sure you never worked in the industry again. Shame on you!

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passionate worker
Fresno, US
May 08, 2011 8:14 pm EDT

If I were you I would report them to the care quality commission and let them investigate it

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
May 08, 2011 8:20 pm EDT

Our community has been helping people since 2006 and we have had no complaints with how we deliver our treatment. If his partner was unhappy she can leave. We never break communication and never stopped him from seeing her, that was her choice. She gained awareness and quite frankly wasn't impressed with the true facts of the relationship. Your hero's violent nature has never been mentioned and who gave him the right to try and control her drinking. That should have been her choice.
The comments on here are all from ex-residents who have failed and are miserable with their life choices. Choice they have made while on whatever substance they have in their possession. We try to build relationships and if your so called relationship was worth salvaging we would have done what we could. My sessions and notes from her case worker led me to believe separation was the right course of action. The time apart allowed us to build up her confidence and belief in herself. You were like a disease that needed to be cured from her mind along with all the other people who infected her life. So before you all start to judge our methods take a look at who you are.

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passionate worker
Fresno, US
May 08, 2011 9:04 pm EDT

just to put you straight I am not an ex resident, and I have absolutly nothing against anyone at Littledale. I believe they do a lot of good. I do however have a problem with a professional behaving the way you are. I can actually see both sides of this as I have in the past used some of the interventions mentioned regarding negative destructive relationships (im not saying your relationship is negative unhappy family, i dont know you) If you have not done anything wrong professional-opinion then tell us your name and the next time I speak to Keith, Kim or Caroline I will let them know what their staff are doing on forums

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peer that was trouble
GB
May 09, 2011 8:13 pm EDT

i think that the professional opinion comments are un-professional, and im not making wrong choices, even though im commenting, i just think that it not right for you to be talking about someone you key worked like you do, its out of order, is there not rules on this! cause you shouldn't be allowed to talk about peoples one to ones and your key working sessions, what people tell you is confident, i think you need to give it a rest, stop all your lies, about her seeing someone etc cause its full of crap, and its not good that you work there and give all information away on a site she dont no nothing about thats professional is it, well i think you need to think about if the job is still for you, cause your far from profession! and if i was U.F id be so mad cause we live in a world where ones colour doesn't matter but obvious professional opinion is the only one that is racist which is wrong since your mean't to be non-judge mental.

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
May 10, 2011 4:06 pm EDT

You pretending to be American now or is that one of your friends? You got your friends to ring her and you already know what is in store for you if do. You have no life with her. How childish are you to post that message on here, did you run to the school teacher when you was a child to? Passionate worker if you know Keith, {which I highly doubt} dont you think he is well aware of the situation. I suggest you save your money on a long distance call and carry on with dispensing your treatment on your side of the world. Peer that was trouble I am not racist and at what point did I actually mention his colour, but you do raise a very good point. My personal views on this matter has never effected my judgement if she chooses to be with his kind then that is her choice. It may not be the best choice but it is our job to stop people getting burnt and that sometimes means we have to help them avoid hot spots.

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Littledale are Liars
GB
May 10, 2011 4:10 pm EDT

Read through since I last wrote on here. UF wait and see. peer who was trouble is right they are not allowed to discuss one on ones.
professional opinion your are an evil loser who is trying to make a scene.

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Rebecca A. Taylor
ES
May 10, 2011 5:19 pm EDT

I wonder, is 'ProfessionalOpinions' cutting and derogatory remarks and comments the opinion of Littledale as a whole? I am so disgusted with what I have read on here. Sounds like dogs are treated better than the actual patients.

Professional-Opinion ~ You appear to be perma-posting on here which, would suggest that you are either trolling or seriously have nothing better to do ~ One will wager you're sat there with the cursor hovering over the refresh button, how very sad.

I pity you.

Kind regards,
Rebecca Taylor

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
May 10, 2011 9:31 pm EDT

Firstly we believe all animals deserve to be treated well even dogs.
We offer the support needed to help people progress through their treatment. With our wisdom we guide a client through each stage but we allow a client to progress only when they are ready and everyone has their own individual needs and requirements. Residents are made clear about what they need to do to progress through their treatment stages and are told to keep a detailed diary. If she has not made the decisions she has undertaken it would clearly show up in there.
We encourage residents to make realistic decisions that will lead to positive achievements and once they make them we do everything to help them keep the choices they have made. Knowing yourself needs us to distance outside negative influences.
Unhappy family was a negative influence that everyone could do with out. She may have made the wrong decision but that is for her to face the consequences of her actions not us.

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charmingbetty
Blackpool, GB
May 11, 2011 10:44 am EDT

A professional establishment really would enter into this kind of debate, I think it would be very interesting to see what the media thought of this if just by chance they get their hands on the story. It would not be in my interest to do this however as I have just come accross this by chance, but found it it throughly entertaining. Sorry what is it Littledale do particulary other than slag people off, and act unprofessionally.

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Rebecca A. Taylor
ES
May 11, 2011 10:47 am EDT

...and just who gets to decide what is considered as an outside negative influence? You? In an earlier post, one that did infact emit some racial slur from yourself, you condemned AJ for trying to forcefully stop K from drinking, you further posted that AJ had no right to do so and that this should have been a concerted effort on K's part, K's decision. How is what you do different from that? You coerce your residents to live by your rules that you enforce, thus taking away their rightful decisions.

In any event, I put it to you Professional-Opinion that you are nothing more than some latenight shift janitor that has stumbled upon some case notes and playing at being a grown up case/social worker. No upstanding professional would ever post on the internet personal notes attributing to a patient notwithstanding the childish catty remarks and arguments that you have embroiled yourself in.

I respectfully sugguest to AJ that he contact the regulatory care services that are responsible for overseeing you, furthermore I also suggest that AJ contact the documentary makers Dispatches (C4) since they were looking for cases just like this not so long bac k.

You say above that Unhappy Family is a negative influence that everyone could do without? How can you make such a sweeping statement? Would it be fair to say that maybe you just do not like this person? You've made this whole issue an attack on AJ's persona, using K's current status as a weapon. K i s not a pawn in a game, these are real people Professional-Opinion. I somehow doubt that your peers at Littledale have any idea the n ature of your activities on this forum, there isn't a professional company/body out there that would allow an employee to act in the way you do let alone encourage such behaviour.

I think you should change your onscreen name to something a little closer to the truth, Professional-Opinion just seems downright ludicrous and somewhat comical.

You have yourself a fine day now.

Regards,
Rebecca Taylor

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charmingbetty
Blackpool, GB
May 11, 2011 11:07 am EDT

remember that action causes re-action and the 'un'profession loves that, probably gets a kick out of it. It is obvious that if he/she works in such an industry then that is the reason. the love of power and drama!

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