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CB Hospitals and Clinics Littledale Hall Therapeutic Community [LHTC] Little dale hall Keith Robertson Sue Robinson Rehab RehabilitationLhtc lie, bad experience dishonest break up family friends relationships lancaster
Littledale Hall Therapeutic Community [LHTC]

Littledale Hall Therapeutic Community [LHTC] review: Little dale hall Keith Robertson Sue Robinson Rehab RehabilitationLhtc lie, bad experience dishonest break up family friends relationships lancaster 238

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2:11 pm EDT
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I would like to start by saying I believe therapy and rehabilitation is a good thing and that the concept behind Littledale hall is good.

However I have a major issue with Littledales treatment of relationships. This is a snippet from their website.

"Family and friends may play a vital role in the recovery process. Given this residents are encouraged (when possible and appropriate) to attempt to rebuild or develop positive relationships with family and friends"

It must be pointed out that our relationship was never an issue. All our arguments occurred only when my partner was drunk.

Littledale told my partner to end our relationship and end communications with me the moment that she entered the place. How was this rebuilding our relationship?
When she refused they allowed a compromise that she could only communicate via letter.
I found out that this alone was a complete breach of social care rules.

When I received letters from her they were dated 3 weeks late and were franked on the same day. By this I mean I received 3 letters in one go all franked on the same day yet dated 3 weeks earlier. It was clear that they had been withholding the mail my partner had sent.
Mail that I sent to her was being kept until someone was able to read it to her by Sue Robinson her key worker.

So lets talk about Sue Robinson
Mrs S Robinson. Dip Counselling. BA Hons TOPPS. Over 7 Years experience of working as a counsellor in a Therapeutic Community. CENTRA Groupwork Cert. DANOS Level 3 Health & Social Care (TBC Jan 2008)

This person seem well qualified but when my partner posed questions to me her answers were simply not helpful. I asked her opinion on a number of occasions especially when i had letter clearly stating my partners unrest.
She was quick to make suggestions that would make my partner stay in rehab, but none that would alleviate her discontent. In hindsight I should have never trusted her as this is a business not a family like they claim.
It is my opinion and I can prove Sue Robinson breached protocol and aided in the breakdown of my relationship.

1) she failed to relay on vital information that would stop my partner getting stressed.
2) she disallowed dialogue between me and my partner.
3) she failed to pass on key information to my partner.
4) she convinced me not do thing my partner had requested
5) She interfered in our relationship.
6) she put phone down on me when I requested to speak to Keith Robertson the director. The phone wasnt even answered by her.

Now lets talk about Mr Keith A Robertson
Registered Manager . CCETSW, CSC, IMS, DMS, Cert Ed 1. Advanced Cert Substance misuse. GCT Cert Group Therapy. Over 17 Years experience of working in the substance misuse field. 14 years experience of Managing Therapeutic Communities.

After reading his qualifications I trusted his judgement. His promise to arrange an interview after three months was broken and he had not kept his word. The communications still remained blocked.

I requested to see my partner on her birthday, Eid and My birthday yet all were denied. She wasn't even allowed to call me.

Up until a week ago my letters from my partner were full of questions that I had been advised to ignore and not respond to but consistently they ended with love, missing you, and xxxx.

I then received a disturbing letter telling how emotional and erratic she was feeling (confirmed by a family member)
I called in to Littledale and was shocked to be told this was not the case that she was happy and fine.
I asked about why she was home sick and i was told to ignore her and just talk about stuff that was not going to make her feel bad. I did just that.

A week later I received a dear John letter.
when i called in i was completely shunned by the staff and told if i rang again I would be arrested for harassment.

I contacted Keith Robertson who at first seemed to be helpful but then also shunned my calls.

I have received an anonymous call, from Lancaster telling me that my partner is being lied to, by staff and manipulated into a wrong state of mind. They have got involved into our personal lives and made wrong suggestions that over step the line.

My advise is not to use this rehabilitation facility as it is looking after the Business as oppose to the Patient.

They are currently being investigated for this.

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Update by Unhappy family
Oct 20, 2010 7:07 am EDT

Thank you for your comments.

Shelly who was your treatment key worker. My partners is Sue Robinson. The reason i ask is the the "confident woman" thing that you said is always said by her and was in my last letter from my partner. It seems like you were treated by same person.

Karl, how did you cope and what were they like with you?

If you dont mind me asking did you use any thing and what reason did they give?

Shelly how long were you in for?

Did you get to see him at all?

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 20, 2010 6:54 pm EDT

Thanks for that.
I intend to hold tight because I don't want to interfere in her treatment but with what you lot have said so far it seem Littledale hall is not what it makes out.
Is there a way i can find out it success rate. I think i might get a news paper involved to see if t he can high light it. They may be able to shed light on the success rate.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 21, 2010 6:56 am EDT

I am sorry please could you give me more details. Yes my partner has a dog which they are now looking after for her. I received a letter from her feeling homesick and she said she was erratic. I know it is your career but this is my life and i am really worried about her state of mind. They are saying she is making her own choices and knows what she wants. I received an email from Keith saying that he spoke to her and that she was adamant about her decision.
They have put me in a catch 22 if I dont abide by her wishes then I am in the wrong. If i do then I risk letting her down.
Everyone who is reading this is advising me to go get her.
I think if I do and I am wrong then then what happens.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 22, 2010 3:24 pm EDT

Cant post contact details but I could really do with your help. Been worried about her welfare and if i have been lied to from the start. This situation caused a major rift between me and her mother. I am starting to wonder how much of what sue says is the truth and how much is her adding her two pence. Me and partners mum both were on the same page until I was told she had asked that I not be allowed to communicate with her. (as next of kin)

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 23, 2010 1:53 pm EDT

Can you email me I would like some more details.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 23, 2010 1:58 pm EDT

I want to say that some people tried to see her but were refused and I have been warned not to communicate or persue this matter.

I have put this to her family now to deal with as I am in no position to do anything.

I will stop writing and will do as she has asked because regardless it was her choice and she made it. I will wait and see how things pan out.

I wont however give up on her.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 25, 2010 1:05 am EDT

I am speaking from my experiences only.

I am only aware of how Littledale treated me an how you created the platform to which my relationship suffered. My partner wanted stability and you advised me against giving it to her. My first letter from her was to tell me you had demanded that she end her relationship with me.
Why would you tell a resident to do that on arrival. You had no right to do that and not expect it to have had a negative effect. Dont play innocent. I contacted kieth Robinson and you told me that the next of kin was responsible. Do you know how much trouble you caused by that comment alone.

She wanted answers and you advised not giving them to her.
She was upset.. You wouldn't let me communicate with her.
She was feeling homesick you told me she wasn't
Even her mother told people she was emotional yet you think she was fine. How blind are you.

You withheld her letters for THREE weeks fro the date she wrote them to when i received them. ALL in one go i receive three. all franked on the same day (i still have the envelopes as proof)

If your treatment was as you said why separate us apart and make life difficult.
You created a situation that would ultimately result in the demise of our relationship. I know when we meet that this will change.

You know she was feeling emotional and I called you to ask for advise. YOU lied and said she was fine.

When she though bad things you let her stew. when she wrote me nice things the letters were over week late.

Yes I can clearly see that you wanted her to remain a resident and now you have put me in a catch 22 situation. I am damned if I do something and damned if I don't. My 1st concerns is her. Littledale however will not get away with doing this to someone else.

Don't play the shocked and dismayed. Your business is a care home. You need residents to make money.

I know that I am unable to do anything to rectify my situation but I also know that we love each other very much. Love is not conditional or something that can be switched off. If she was able to make this choice then she will be able to tell me herself face to face without any difficulty. Your manager said she wasn't able to. Her decision was not what she wanted but what she thinks she has to do that is what everyone seems to say you place is all about.
You have now created another situation which will effect my partner in the future.

Sue Robinson kept saying "confident woman" my partner said exactly same thing. She has been taught to say that and made to think like sue. I know my partner better than you think. I can tell in her letters when she is herself and when she is speaking Littledale.
I have read your resident comment highlighted by peer and you can see by just reading them that they are staff. the speech switches from first hand to third party. Fake fake fake.

I will wait till she finishes her treatment and I will be there for her like I have been for the last three years. You have no idea what I went through for her and what our history is.

If my partner is effected in anyway by your action then i will pursue you as the responsible. She should be left unaware of this as she has no access to the internet.
In the mean time IF you have created a successful treatment we will not see anymore comments by others. by reading this i doubt it

You have no complaint procedure and my complaint was ignored that is why i have now done this to help others.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 25, 2010 1:11 am EDT

By the way "doing something different" are you resident, ex resident or employed. I suspect you are employed in management as you have switched from one to another.
If you cant make your own mind up to who you are how can you treat others.
Why would you fake your own testimonials unless you cant give them.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 25, 2010 9:50 pm EDT

So let me get this right Baldy man employs 3 people who now work AWAY from home and AWAY from bad influences. Why. If they are treated they should be able to walk down the same streets and not be bothered.
And as for me being a bad influence I was the one who wanted my partner to get help. I made her attend her meetings and the only reason we fell out was because i tried to stop her drinking.
The main cause of her drinking was her past not her influences. many people live in society without having to worry about walking past an off licence. You have employed 3 people doing what if you dont mind.

Mr very right i own my own business, own my i own home no mortgage or loan and never been out of work and never been short of money. My life is now incomplete because the person i love thinks i didnt care about er. I am not allowed (by littledale) to express my feeling to her and am expected to sit down and throw a 3 year relationship away. ### littledale

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 1:30 am EDT

Again turtleglove and the baldy man are one and the same claiming to be employer and resident and staff at the same time.

My partner ex if you want is in there to stop drinking and substance abuse. I wanted her clean. I wanted her to stop. So yes i controlled what she did by trying to stop her getting involved with people who drank and did other things. I hated finding her in incoherent states but worst of all I hated people taking advantage of her.

I you people think I was wrong for trying to protect her and get her the help she needed then I am Guilty as hell. I will not regret my actions. Littledale class that as control yet they do exactly the same thing. control the environment and control communication and control the money. The difference is I did it because I love her, You do it cos you are paid.

Dont dare taint what I feel for her with your lies. I have my evidence of you actions. I also know that she cannot have lied to me about how she felt. I never felt that with anyone else and I know it was real.

You wont let me see her because you know she will remember her feelings and you will be wrong. My money and everything I own means nothing without her. I am not a bad person.

You however are. You made me resent my partners mother because you claimed she had restricted access to my partner. This caused a big rift. I know that this was now a lie. SUE Robinson told me that lie. Why did you tell me that Sue. Because my partner was unsettled and you knew she would leave. The sad part is that I wanted her to complete her treatment not walk out. I trusted you were telling me the truth SUE and you lied. You kept her letters from me when she was seeking answers about us. you kept pages from letters because my partner numbered them. I want to know why you did it.

I know its the truth people where I live know what I had to do and how I acted while she was in there. Many people who are close to my partner know exactly what I have been going through because of you and I grinned and bared it for my partners sake.
You want a lesson in love I will give it to you cos I topped the class. Pure and unconditional no reason just feeling.
1.45 am and I am still working to provide for her and I will still do it till she returns. When we are together and I know we will be I will tell you all how wrong you were.

I want it clear that I do not want her to fail, I want her to succeed. I dont want her to get back on the drink and I will be doing everything I can to assure that.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 10:04 am EDT

Why did i sound obnoxious, because i work and own my own company?
You are however correct I have no idea what goes on up there.

I do know what has been said and done?

What i cannot fathom is why you would make comments about me unless you have been talking to staff about my partners PERSONAL affairs which as Littledale say is another big rule and a big no no.

So you and your husband have clearly had access to details that you should never have had. You have again shown Littledales munipulative ways.

You have only known my partner for 3 months and you expect me to believe that you know her better than her friends and her family.

And Sue or Denise or which ever Member of Littledale staff you are. I wont contact her I will wait till she makes her OWN mind up. I dont control her and have never been able to ask her mother.

And for the record This is my only profile. What i said and I commented is MY thoughts only I have not said anything i cannot prove.

I only gave people a platform to express their thoughts, just like you. If you dont like them it is not my fault. Difference is You can ask them so why haven't you.

I think that you have put me through enough and the stress I put my partners mother through because of your comments are more unforgivable than anything else I have done.
I know her mother an pa pa know how much i love that girl yet you have labelled it control.
Protecting people you love is not control its what you are meant to do.
You may like to break up relation ships for the ease of life but life is not easy.
I wont give up on her at all like you want. I will however give her space to make her own mid up. Thats something YOU wont do.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 5:48 pm EDT

I know I have made some mistakes in my past. None of them have involved her. I am so sure that I am not wrong I wont contact her. I will leave her to remember because we had great moments together and those moments will surface.
I have not had the chance to remind her because we have been kept apart. If littledale is so sure that i am wrong then they should not have interfered. But they did.
I have been speaking to someone who did Rehab and he has said that they keep you busy and suppress your feelings.
My partner is a loving emotional person and has a heart of gold and I know you cannot take that from her.
By the post that you make "Mr very right" you only prove that Littledale are behind it all and not her.
When she leaves i will give her space to make her own mind up. Let her ask questions and answer them. Questions that will need answering.

You judged me, called me a chancer, a fly boy and far from dull you should have looked into me properly. If thats your opinion then i dread your abilities as therapist.

Ps he proper channel have been notified and the post marke letter dated by your franking machine have been sent to them. Whats you lie going to be?

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 6:47 pm EDT

Got to admit that you are really trying to goad me. You're to late. Been warned and been told. You can say what you want now. I am now going to wait and see. As a member of staff at Littledale You had no right to make the comments you have made about my partners personal life on here. I can prove the information i provided. The letters and the comment. Where do you have it written that I am chancer. My partner knows i am far more than that.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 9:43 pm EDT

Like I said when she is out of there and if we meet the only one i will blame is littledale. No one else at all. Your place isnt magical its business.

GOOD NIGHT

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 26, 2010 10:57 pm EDT

Far from it. I counted 4 and with this soon to be made more visible i can soon see more and more posting their experiences.
I have seen your reaction already. You are going to say its people who have failed the treatment, but there are them who said they have still abstained. I say good on them. I have no right to say what others have or have not experienced. Only how you have treated me and that is my right to complain. If it saves people going through what you put me through then i will have done them a favour.
You also forget when she returns she will be able to see this and the comments made. Chancer, fly boy, dull, control freak her true friends know that was never the case. But that has been planted in her head. None of the positives.
So yes i am confident about where i stand. You on the other hand will not be.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 28, 2010 1:55 pm EDT

iamtracy, I know how she feels i feel really angry, but she needs to help him. Sue Robinson is my partners Key worker and by reading what turtleglove has said (who cant make up his/her mind if she is the husband or wife) peoples personal lives are discussed and manipulated for their labour force.
How can a person working at Littledale employ people with out it being a conflict of interest. if she/ he doesn't work at Littledale, why does she/he know personal details of my relationship.
Sue you have shown yet another breach of patient confidentiality to suit you own agenda.
People from outside that establishment should not know anything or financially gain from resident as you clearly have demonstrated you do.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 28, 2010 5:11 pm EDT

Today i recieved a phone call from an officer who is investigating harrassment complaint made by the staff at littledale. I was more concerned that they claimed that i had been ringing them. This is totally untrue.
What also concerned me is that SUE Robinson did this complaint infront of my partner to the police.
I have complied with the officer and said i would allow them access to my phones.
My last letter was last week and i have not since wrote or called up at anytime. My last email to keith robertson was on 20/10/10

My conclusion is that Littledale have tried to hurt me by making me look bad in front of my partner.
I requested that when the officer proves that i had not made the call. I would like him to return to Littledale and tell my partner the allegation is not true.
Littledale, you have again shown me more evidence that you manipulate people and now you have proven the depths that you would sink to.
Sue you have again lied and your actions will only upset my partner. when this come out in the wash i will be seeking a statement off the police officer and presenting it to the proper authorities.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 29, 2010 1:06 am EDT

So you are backing SUE for lying to the police and to my partner.
You fail to realise that Sue's actions have only proven how far Littledale will go. Lying to the police and getting staff to do the same. I welcome the police as it will prove that you lied about the calls and it will go on record. The fact that she did it in front of her will show how low she went to manipulate her. My only concern is how this will effect my partner when she realises the one that she trusted was lying the whole time. I did not ring Littledale again or write to her since i was asked to..
Littledale is getting exposed for what it is and more people will think before putting their trust in a place like this.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 29, 2010 9:38 am EDT

I really appreciate the off and thank you, but I will wait for my partner to do it off her own back. I dont want anyone else to suffer at the hands of these people. You can message me your details if you wish and explain who you are.
I wont break the law and I wont allow SUE to put my partner through another interview with the police. I am still outraged that she sunk so low as to do that. To lie to a resident and make false allegation so as to drive a wedge between them. . I hope you have the answers ready for why you put her through that unnecessarily. I have witnesses that can confirm that i have not wrote or called.
I certainly will not use a third party to do it either.
I know her better that they think they know her. Her true feeling will overcome what they have programmed into her head. It is just a matter of time and I think she is worth the wait.

Update by Unhappy family
Oct 30, 2010 5:54 pm EDT

I have another complaint. You made my partner get rid of the dog. that dog was part of the family. You should have let me have her back if you didnt want her. we were looking after her fine and now you have given her away to a stranger.
You are really sure you have made her better. She would never in a million/ billion life times given that dog up.
I have no idea why she broke with me, but that dog was her child and you some how made her part from it.
You also have told everyone not to mention it so that she wont get upset.
What is she going to do when she wants her dog back?
And if i even got my partner wrong i know she loved that dog more than me.
If you know where it is please dont let her go. I am now begging you not to do it. That dog means everything to her and you have no idea what you are doing.
It is obvious that you are pushing her in some way.

Update by Unhappy family
Nov 04, 2010 9:51 pm EDT

The plans we made were for her to finish her university course I hope she still sticks with it.
I really want her to achieve what she wants to do. She has always regretted it and it has been one of her main goals in life.
I always wanted her to do it and I will be more disappointed if she doesn't apply for September.
My main thing was to earn enough money to support her through it and give her a foundation to come out to.
I still plan on being here for when she comes out and I have no intentions of being with anyone but her. She is my soul mate and everything.
I know we loved each other and that the only reason we have split is the divide that Littledale created.
When I meet her I wont expect anything because I believe in love and that is something Littledale destroyed by labelling it control.
They have tainted what we had and I will remind her what she means to me.
She is worth every bit of pain I am feeling and I am willing to anything she wants.

Update by Unhappy family
Nov 11, 2010 3:02 pm EST

Thanks for pointing BEWAREOFFAKERS out.
The person made a post trying to say All these people are fabrications.
Well let me tell you that this is me and only this is me.
Littledale I have nothing but contempt for your behaviour and yes I have reported you to the necessary channels.
I have given a platform so that other people who you have treated with the same disregard can voice their experiences and others can see how you treat people.
If I had known I would have never allowed her to go there.
However I want her to finish her treatment then I will see her.
You are so confident that this was her choice then why did you tell her she was not allowed to contact me when she arrived. I have her very first letter explaining that you did this.
Everyone here has similar experiences, I take full credit of letting people know. I now only await her return.
Love is impossible to switch off. When we meet she will remember and I will let it be her choice.

Update by Unhappy family
Nov 30, 2010 4:55 pm EST

I wasn't going to respond, but why not.
How do you know who and what I am?
Why would you describe me as such?
I wish more people were like me as do many others in this society.
Only six months to go and I will have proven everything I promised I have kept to.
I have the strength to carry on my trials and tribulations with out having to bend to the pressures of peers.
I do what I feel is right and have no doubt that when she realises why I did what I did she will be the only one who can judge me and I will take anything she says.
I have no problems accepting my faults, but I do have problems with people feeding off the weak and what is the common theme with everyone posting on here.
I dont need pity off people who make money out of the misfortunes of others.
I have nothing more to say about the way you behaved that is between me and her.
After reading what everyone has wrote on here I feel much better and am continuing building the future i promised her. No matter what you say I will still be here waiting for her. Nothing you can say will make me change the feelings I have for her.

Update by Unhappy family
Dec 07, 2010 9:04 am EST

Firstly I tried and agreed that rehab was the best option.
I supported her all the way through and still do.
What i dont like is the ### lies that the staff at littledale made out.
For example blaming her mother for no contact
making out that her laptop had not been sent
telling me not to do as she asked and then leaving me to take the blame.
keeping her letters from me and keeping mine from her
But again I will say this... I was not trained or paid to help her for the last three years. Why did i do it?
They were not easy years as her mother will know only too well.
I wont disrespect her mum as her mother tried her best and in the end it wasnt enough because we both got played by someone whos whole world revolved around drink.
But when she was sober i saw the beautiful confident women that you all only see now.
How many times did people tell me to wash my hands of her. (rememeber)
What did I do? I stuck by her.
I have not destroyed the reputation of littledale.
I just pointed a few thing out that Littledale wouldnt clarify.
Everyone else ha a right to speak their own mind (now they have their own minds)
She is the love of my life. I believe she has forgotten our real relationship and has only focused on the bad things.
Her memories will be a blur of visions and drunken stoupers.
Surely treatment would include making sure what she remembered is a truthful account and not onesided.
The stupid thing is I wanted her to be sober and did everything i could to make sure she finished her treatment.
I hope she doesnt come out because of this but i hope i get to at least see her and speak to her.
Oh and one more thing i will say Six members of staff at littledale claimed i made phone calls to the establishment after the me and her split.
WHY DID YOU LIE IN FRONT OF HER FOR?
YOU PROVED TO ME WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF.
I am unhappy and have been ever since.
I am not unhappy about her because that is the only thing keeping me going.

Update by Unhappy family
Dec 10, 2010 1:28 am EST

I need to point somethings out.
1) as mention i was with her 3 years and no we are not family.
2) I cant understand why her mother would write this. She knew how difficult things were.
3) My partner has always been beautiful and confident. She just believed the beer helped. I spent a lot of time with her sober and she is a great person to be with. her little moments of clarity far outweighed all the bad times. I always knew that the drink was the cause. that's why I stood by her.
4) I am in love with her. That wont change. Littledale kept us apart but my feelings are still as strong. I also know her mother said she would respect her daughters decision. Why would she tell me to move on? I knew this was possibly going to be 12 months and i was prepared for that.
5) Why did her mother mention money and house, these are things that meant nothing to my partner. She was never materialistic at all, and i resent the insinuation that it was the only reason she was with me. I learnt money meant nothing from her. Her mother also knows this more than any one.
Which makes me wonder. who actually wrote that post. My partners mother would never stoop so low as to try and hurt my feelings with jibes. She is better than that, and she would never insult people she doesn't know.
We may have our differences but I know that she knows I tried to do what ever I could for her daughter.
Whenever she needed me she knew my door was never closed.
The route cause of our feud was all caused by sue robinsons lie. partners mum never told you to stop me seeing her. yet sue led me to believe my partners mother (next of kin) had made a request to keep us apart.
this cause a rift and further issues. How was this building relationships? I wont blame her mother for anything anymore. I blame myself for trusting a strangers.
My complaint is about the way littledale kept my letters and lied to my partner. Possibly even her mother. What everyone else wrote helped me keep strong.
6 months to go and i will see what my partner want when she comes out. until then I will wait for her.

Update by Unhappy family
Jan 11, 2011 2:10 pm EST

Anyone who reads this please do not say anything to her mother. I don't believe her comment to be malicious. When I see my partner I will in my own time when she is ready.
I don't blame her, other for her actions, she is just happy her daughter is sober (as am I).
My attempt to help her may have failed but at least I tried.
I will be here when she realises what the "brainwashing" was really for.

Update by Unhappy family
Jan 23, 2011 12:26 am EST

How long were you there for Clive, and when did you leave?
What do you mean cruelty and neglect?

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 14, 2011 12:01 pm EDT

I have stayed off commenting on here as it has made my life hell. Littledale can do or say what ever they want. All i know is that someone I love with all my heart has decided to leave.
According to Littledales description of me, Im controlling, an abuser and someone who wasn't worthy of an interview to see what i was really about. They never took the time to realise my arguments with my partner were about her trying to get out of going rehab. They were about her drinking spirits and me trying to get her to eat.
I had a well paid job and I worked really hard. When I came home I had to pick up the pieces that had been left around. Did Littledale care? No. The number of times my partner was exploited people offering her drink to get what they wanted. What was I meant to do stand by and accept it? When she got violent I would throw cold water on to her to sober her up. What would Littledale prefer I do. Hit her.
I am in love with someone who had a problem. I didnt turn my back on her like everyone told me to. I stood by her and at times it was the hardest thing to do. I was in love and it was unconditional. However I did make one condition.
On the day before she was meant to go to rehab she changed her mind. We had the biggest row ever. If I was selfish I would have just let it be. I didn't. I spent the whole day organising and sorting her things out with her friends. When she left I cried, but i got to see her at Harvey House. Everyday I went in and saw her, even on a day I couldn't. She was sober everyday and we made plans for her to go to Uni.
When she finally went to Littledale I received no communication for 3 weeks. Everyone else got letters except me. Why? Well according to my partner (i still have the letter and it angers me everytime I read it) Littledale had told her she was to write me one letter to tell me it was over. WHY? What gave them the right to make a snap judgement on me without so much as a conversation.
The fact that Littledale has done this and many other thing made me create this blog.
Whoever wishes to write their experiences may do so.
"peers 2010" I am sorry but they win. I am a strong headed but when it comes to my partner I am weak. She has chosen to make this decision and regardless of how I feel so long as she is fit and healthy then that is all I wanted. I would rather her be safe than end up led on a street messed up because of me. I wanted to marry her and I still do, but only if she wants to. I know what Littledale did, she will eventually figure it out herself, but until then I only wish her the best from life.
For everyone else who reads this, rehab is a great idea, dont be put off by my experience not every rehab is like Littledale.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 15, 2011 1:18 am EDT

Do you know what I had to go through for her? No
Everyone who knows us knew what she meant to me and what she put me through. Time and time again I was told to give up on her. I didn't. She may not remember things because no one was there to remind her of what I did for her. The biggest joke in all this is I made her go there. I actually argued and threatened to end our relationship so she would go to rehab. If she had called my bluff I would have tried something else, but my only aim was to build a life with her.
I know I treated her well and everyone said I treated her like a queen. For the love she showed me she deserved everything the world has to offer. I will give up everything I have just for her.
The anger I feel towards Littledale subsided when I knew she was getting better, it was the only thing keeping me going, but when I was told how they portrayed me to her how am i meant to keep a level head. Being caring and protective gets changed to controlling and abusive.
I ask littledale staff on here now. Would they let someone down bottles of vodka or try to stop them and wean them off.
If a person they loved was a danger to them self would they remove the danger or let them get hurt and say i told you so.
People told me to let her learn for herself, but instead she didnt. The next day she would have no idea what had happen.
I called it the Groundhog day effect.
What would you do in my shoes? love her or leave her? I chose to love her and I still do.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 15, 2011 12:46 pm EDT

I cannot begin to tell you how difficult this has been. I made her promises and I kept all of them. She told me to start my own business on the last day I saw her. I have done it. We now employ 9 people. I haven't had a day off so I could spend weeks with her when she comes home. I turned my back on all my friends and stayed away from everyone who could possibly cause her issues so that she had a safe environment with no temptation or stress. I sent her presents for birthdays, christmas and valentines day (which apparently she has not got). Kids keep asking me when she is coming home especially my daughter who is really fond of her. She wouldn't go on holiday with out her because she wanted her to go on all the rides with us just like in Blackpool.
I was told to give up on her time and time again even by Littledale. When things got too much my friends reminded me who I was doing it all for. They told me to forget the bad and only focus on the good. I did just that. I look through all our pictures together and the one thing common in all of them is we are always smiling and laughing. I lost my smile till I meat her. she made me happy and I want to do the same for her.
I blame Littledale for what they did. I blame myself for not being able to help her more than I tried.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 16, 2011 1:36 am EDT

there is a saying "diamond in the rough". Thats what she was. I saw through all the bad that surrounded her. No one else cared. I had no one to turn to for help about her problem. From the first time that she held me and stroked my arm I felt affection. Her emotions shattered me and made me feel again. There was a side to me that I had locked away for so long and she made me open up. when she was there i could sleep easy without her i am lost. for the last 6 months people have nicknamed me Lostboy. I am incomplete and she is the missing piece of me.
Yes you are right i don't drink, i did participate with her but it no longer interest me. I am a workaholic now. I spend all my time building our future .
I would like to thank you, for your message. I hope one day we could meet under different circumstances and maybe you will be able to talk to people and listen to her shenanigans. She isnt just missed by me she has some really good friends that also got the bad end of her drunkenness too.
You mentioned "hope", I prayed and hoped for the last 8 months that she would succeed and I risked my life just to get the blessings of another person for her to get well. when she stopped writing I "hoped" that it was a nightmare and i would wake up from it. She is my hope that love is real.
I know you have a positive look at Littledale, but the pain that this caused me is still raw. May be in time I will forgive them. Right now I cant. there are thing that were said and done that can only be resolved by her. Closure is hard to acheive without answers.
q: when did you leave and how well did you know her

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 16, 2011 9:41 am EDT

did you even try to help your Ex?

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 16, 2011 12:47 pm EDT

I'm sorry if I sounded a bit horrible with my question. You never said much about you Ex. Why did he not go to rehab too?
Do you not think that what you learnt in rehab could have also helped him? I am not questioning your judgement or your actions.
It seems that with what you say everyone on here is right. You also ended a relationship base on distancing yourself from temptation.
Was trying to help your Ex not an option?
Did your ex want you to get help and go into rehab?
Forgive me if I am overstepping the mark here. You must remember I question Littledales techniques of locking people away from society and saying you are cured.
As everyone has said here they are in a bubble till they come out and things change. I dont want her to be on her own if that happens.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 16, 2011 9:48 pm EDT

I am so sorry for what I said. I think you have made the right step because of your situation. funny thing you mentioned was that Littledale told you he didnt love you to do what he did... they said the same about me pouring her vodka away.. they called it domestic abuse. I got that info from one of "peers 2010" freinds. I admit freely what I did and if in the same situation many people said they would have done the same. I am good at business development. I was not a drink or drug specialist. I was strong willed so if i didnt want to do something i would say no. she couldnt do that. I worked too much to keep an eye on her. her friends tried to protect her but this got twisted in to spying on her.
She didnt realise whilst she was drunk how things were. I loved her and wanted to marry her that is why I made her go.
When she was at littledale I wanted to send her the engagement ring i had bought but had SUE tell me not to bother. Sue told me not to do a number of things. I also know they kept her laptop and told her I hadnt sent it. they gave it her 2 months later. Everything she asked for they told me not to send it.
You tell me? was littledale in the wrong
check your message inbox

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 17, 2011 12:29 am EDT

Doing something different- How dare you insult someone just because you cannot read or understand the shorthand. It doesn't mean they are off their heads. I know you are Littledale staff. Your are that stupid You insult some one who defended your establishment by trying to tarnish them. Just to recap . They have a job and a life.

Peer who was in trouble- Now you can see first hand how Littledale stamp on people. Make them look really bad and make themselves look like they are your family and that only they can be trusted. Ask yourself, what did you do wrong? Give someone hope.Please stay out of my argument with Littledale. You do not deserve any stress as you have a hard test in front of you . Good luck and I hope you succeed in keeping your demons at bay.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 17, 2011 11:02 am EDT

I think I understood that clearly "doing something different" did you. Peer you didnt deserve that at all and I apologise for you getting involved. Why they vebally attacked you like that is beyond me. I thought that you were pro Littledale (even now).
This was my exact point about littledale. The assumption that We are idiots and they can treat you like they want.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 17, 2011 11:33 am EDT

Independant thinker my left butt cheek. Your independent evaluation is about the idea of rehab. If you had read any of the posts in her you will see that the argument is the way the staff make decision and influence the residence into an natural train of thought . It is clear that Littledale keep people away from society to build up their strength and then release people with the hope they wont do it again.
Most people still abstain but with out side help.
I believe that the length of stay is to gain finance not the well being of the patient.
Clearly demonstrated by Littledale staff is their contempt for people who succeed after they tell them they will fail.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 17, 2011 1:49 pm EDT

If one is to be judge should one have the opportunity to defend ones self. I dont think they (littldale) had the right motive

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 24, 2011 1:13 am EDT

I think I would like to thank everyone who has contributed. It has shed light on the inner workings of Littledale. Their so called "sane" outburst insulting people who's positive statement reflected a direction my partner was taking only proved Littledale has an agenda for itself and not for its users. I am confident over time when Littledale has no grip on her my partner will see what is the truth and not Littledales distorted view. Worse mistake you made Littledale is tell her I didn't really love her. When she see's her friends again and finds out what you have kept away from her she will make her own mind up. I am going to let her decide for herself. I will wait for her as long as it takes because I do love her more than you know.
As for doing what you do...9 months and i have help 4 people change their lives for the better and employed 9 people so ### you and you self righteous crap. You tried to use your ex residents to come on here and say something and to what avail. They backed this blog instead. What does that tell everyone. I have made my point and others have made theirs. I have heard people agree with rehab but not with Littledale personal involvement. You are insane to think people wont push back when you push them too far. Another point failing does not go hand in hand with leaving littledale.
It is up to the individual to say no and to police themselves and not blame others for their own choices. I realised I blamed Littledale for my partners choice not anymore. I blame Littledale for "trying" ruin a great part of my life and causing me mental anguish from the day you demanded she end our relationship. when she realises it (and she will) i will show you what the consequence's will be.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 24, 2011 9:30 pm EDT

I have had enough. The only thing I wanted was to be happy with her and her to be sober. I only tried to protect her. I worked as hard as I can to provide everything for a safe environment for her return.
Littledale lied to me. Caused a row between me and her mother. How did that help?
Littledale kept her mail. How did that help?
Littledale have not given her her friends mail. How did that help?
Littledale kept us apart for 9 months. How did that help?
Littledale told my partner that i dont love her. HOW DID THAT HELP?
Littledale told her me pouring her drink away was abuse. HOW DID THAT HELP?
Littledale without knowing the facts said i was a control freak. HOW DID THAT HELP?
I know what has been said in there to her. I also know what I have done out here.
I know it is only a matter of time and I will be reunited with her.
I have done a lot over the last 9 months that will make her proud of me and I am proud of her.
So all this tricks to make me angry, you keep them.
Peer2010: Thanks for the email and sorry if you get any grief.
independent thinker: Yes you have said it right.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 25, 2011 2:15 am EDT

I speak for myself. In which case I use the term I or me. I refer to the important person "my partner" 15 times which by the direction of your statement mean that "I" hold "her" more important than my self.
You really do disgust me in the way you manipulate people. Is this an example of Littledale playing mind games. Is this how you confuse you're residents into believing what you want them to believe.
I also mentioned "help", "how" and "proud".
But lets play your word game. I mentioned one w0rds 14 times in 16 lines and you make a big deal about it.
But in your 2 lines of text you double my ratio and use "I" twice as much. what ever you were trying to point out you are "twice as bad at it".
The mind games that you play wont work out here. Eyes wide open

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 25, 2011 11:45 pm EDT

Mr Very Right are you sober and off drugs? If so why are you on this website? By your reckoning your a alcoholic druggy or are you just a "chancer". The thing with the internet is that all you have to do is make something visible on places like "Wired" or other Rehab forums. and the rest is just a snowball effect. I haven't made it as visible as I can do. Imagine with such little exposure all these people have had their say wait and see what happens when I find out the truth form my partner and when she finds out what Littledale did. It will be her choice to forgive you or not.
As for Graham I dont know him and have never spoken to him so I have no idea about him at all.
I only know how they treated me. I have nothing to do with him.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 27, 2011 9:29 am EDT

I think Littledale need to look at themselves because all I see here is a people being looked down on.
My dad said never look down on someone unless you are going to help them up and I have always believed in that. Think you should should take my philosophy and use it.

Update by Unhappy family
Mar 28, 2011 9:23 pm EDT

If I were you take her hand and give her everything she needs to stay focused on what she has achieved. Their support is less important than you. It is clear that she wants to be with you and that is all that matters. If you need financial help message me your details and I will help you. At least I can stop them ruining your lives.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 11, 2011 8:04 am EDT

@stacysolic You again made the assumption that these people are miss using substances. I have met two of them and they are hard working individuals. They are not seeking to blame Littledale for anything accept overstepping their boundaries of control. Controlling an environment where they lived to get well is in my opinion acceptable. To break there emotional ties with loved ones should be their own choice not that of Littledales.
My partner loved her dog and they removed the dog from a loving environment and placed it with strangers. Her friends were left distraught thinking they had let her down when all along she had no say in the matter. You can tell Littledale I intend to find our dog and get her back once once my partner has left Littledale. They think they could just give her away and that she would be forgotten. Never.
There is no assassination of Littledales reputation going on here. The unfortunate thing is that when someone came on here to defend them some idiot from Littledale insulted them. (doing something different)
I am in love with a girl who had a problem. I looked past that problem and saw someone really special. I tried my hardest to help but in my own way was unprepared for what was needed. I couldn't provide 24 hour policing of her environment which is all that littledale hall is and I am not a trained councillor.
Me and her mother tried and failed, actually I failed to move her away from where she lived, but she always found somewhere away from our home to drink. So in my opinion it was her that need to change "NOT THE ENVIROMENT" .
She may have changed.. I dont know.. Why?... Because littledale wont let her speak to me?
I already know about the cryptic way that you break ties by making people think it is there choice and the way that you use neuro linguistic programming.
Take stacysolic: the NLP is clear in the written text. I am surprised that no one real (besides staff) has really defended Littledale, without messaging real stories about them. I have a nice little file building up for everyone to read.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 11, 2011 8:43 am EDT

Oh and stacysolic I started this thread, I am not an alcoholic. All facts are stated here as facts and proof is available. If Littledale feel it makes them look bad then if the shoe fits wear it.
Littledale staff Clearly called me a control freak for doing what they get paid to do.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 12, 2011 7:22 am EDT

4yearsclean: Read the whole thing then make your comment. You will notice everyone who has posted remains clean and dry. Well done for your successful recovery. I hope you made your family proud. My issue is nothing to do with relapse or anything of the sort. I am not a user of Littledale, so your comment has no effect to this thread at all.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 13, 2011 10:33 pm EDT

Regardless of what has gone on I know my partners mum will protect her daughter to her last. She will stand by her even when she is in the wrong which is something I admired about her. Don't get me wrong, she will tell her off but on her own. If she has had a head to head with Sue then it will be in her daughters interest.
The recorded letter was sent by my partners friend. She had sent 4 letters to her and her mum had told her she hasn't received any of them. Guess the cant lie about a recorded letter. I wonder what excuse they have for that.
My partner asked me something similar and i phoned Littledale up and asked Sue, she told me to ignore her as it would make her loose focus on what she is in there for. I still wrote an 8 page letter tell her about everything, but she never got it. instead i got a letter asking why i hadn't wrote. I wrote to her 4 times a week. At least I know Littledale kept them from her.
If you do leave Littledale I suggest you put you Facebook wall onto private and friends only as Littledale have people who read through your profiles and use that information.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 15, 2011 5:06 pm EDT

How do you react to something like this? When I read your "PROFESSIONAL OPINION" I will admit I actually hated myself. For the first time ever I actually wondered if things would be different if I wasn't asian. I wanted to be someone else so that she didn't hate me and I still had a chance to be with her. But no matter what I look like on the outside I will still be me on the inside. I didn't look at what she was on the outside only what she had in her heart. Again it is something she taught me and I know damn well you have not spoken for her. OIL AND WATER ... YOUR KIND... LIKES OF ME. That the sort of racist ### I put up with when I was a little kid.
If you wanted to get at me and hurt me you have done it.
If you wanted to anger me you have done it.
When she leaves I wont try to contact her that will be her choice, but there is not a slightest chance in this world that I will ignore her.
I wasn't born yesterday and I can tell when I see a desperate attempt to make me react.
Yes shell2009 its not the first tie someone from Littledale called me a chancer and yes I know the rules about relationships in there.
Sorry Littledale but you have played the wrong card with me there.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 17, 2011 11:28 am EDT

Do you know what I really am angry about. How you drag her into the office saying she has broken rules when other who have Littledale clearly flaunt images all over of people who are still in treatment. You seem to be more interested in caging her in then in stopping other do what they want. I supposes its because they are the right colour for your approval. And by the way she ain't used her facebook account since she has been in there. You know it, her friend request were accepted from a long time ago. Her messages remain unopen for the last 9 months and she has messages from friends from when she was only 10 on there. Guess you tell her to get rid of the past is your idea of treatment. Well in my opinion you end up making a problem for the future.
Dont try and hint at my race not being good enough again, I am human and "MY KIND" have feelings. Me and her are not "OIL AND WATER" we were more like "Chalk and Cheese"

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 18, 2011 5:00 pm EDT

You are really trying to wind me up.
She has a great family and some very good friends who all miss her. What makes you say we never put her needs first.
What me and her felt was real, I know it is still real in me and will always remain there.
If she is laughing at me then I will be the jester if it makes her smile. She made me smile and I will never forget it.
If you expect me to bite you can forget it.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 21, 2011 1:30 pm EDT

So you are staff.
I hold my hands up ... I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM NOT AN EXPERT . I TRIED AND I FAIL AND YES I FEEL LIKE I LET HER DOWN. I dont need you to be righteous and tell me I let her down. I have many regrets about how I went about things and if I could turn back time I would, but dont ever say I never loved her because even now she is more to me than I ever realised. If she didn't love me then why did it take you 5 months to drum that out of her. Why did you block me from seeing her, and stop her from getting the letters from me. If I was the problem why have a go at her friends. They haven't done anything wrong to her. As for the dog, she was looked after really well, Me and her mate felt like ### when we found out she had got rid of her. You made us believe she had done it out of choice and I recently found out you made her do it. If she chooses to take her dog back will you let her? Or is that another tie that you broke to keep her in treatment.
I am not perfect and I made mistakes, but loving her was not one of them. I wont stop because I cant. She may have done but I can only hope she hasn't.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 21, 2011 5:22 pm EDT

Hold on you dick, . She looked after that dog better than anyone. Yes I agree she made mistakes but that dog came first and we made sure that dog was well looked after when she was in there because if it wasn't she would have left.
Now I know your a chatting ###, She never asked me for anything. She was never materialistic at all and never wanted money off me. She used to get mad at how I wasted my money but never for herself she wanted me spend more time with her and the kids.
Who ever you are you have no idea who she really is. Our relationship may have been a bit messed up but she never lied about how she felt. she couldn't have. I never felt like how she made me feel. If that was a lie then I have no idea what life is all about.
Her mother may not like me, I probably deserve it after the way i spoke to her. I hold my hand up, but her mother never raised her daughter up like that. If she decided she wanted to be with me her mother wouldn't stand in her way.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 24, 2011 8:17 pm EDT

Your right she hasn't lost any loved ones. I will be here waiting. It is me who has lost out.
I started this because I thought that I was being treated unfairly. I was.
I made it quite clear from the start that I had no idea how to help my partner stop drinking and some of the things I did were wrong. I know i shouldn't have poured her vodka away or hide her bank card so that she didn't waste her money on beer.
I have always been told that its not the act but the intention that is important.
I acted wrong, but my actions were to help her.
You want me lose a really important part of my life.
The only thing I wanted was for us to have a happy family together. Her going to Littledale was meant to be a step in that direction. I was meant to start our business while she was in there and when she left she would go to University and finish the course she had left.
Can you tell me what I was doing that was so wrong.
How have you turned love into hate?
I have had no chance to explain how I feel at all, even now that she has left you keep her under wraps so that she is unable to speak freely with her friends.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 25, 2011 11:13 am EDT

Sue your "professional opinion" you can keep to yourself. Lets face it that is who you are. You gave it away that you were a key worker when you mentioned one on ones and the women solidarity thing that women should stick together (female).
So now I know who and what sort of people I really am dealing with.
First of all Sue as her key worker you should never have blamed her mum for stopping me seeing K. that caused a fight. Not very professional
You kept on telling me what i should and shouldn't mention to her in letters and told me not to do what k asked me to. I also like the way you kept her laptop and told me that she wouldn't get it for a while yet you told her I hadn't sent it. I have the letter from her telling me I may a swell not send it now. 4 weeks after you had already signed for it. and then you wipe it. Deleting all her programs Why?
She asked for a mountain bike which gets sent and you keep that too. Have you give it to her now?
I don't expect you to understand how I feel, I don't expect you to care as I don't pay you to.
I know that all you are is a business and there are many people who I have given a platform to speak from.
When i see K i will apologise if she felt I had done her any wrong. I will explain that i may have been in the wrong with how I went about things. But I will ask her to look into her heart and tell me if she honestly believes that I did it thinking I was wrong. Or did i do it because I simply was in love with her

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 26, 2011 3:10 pm EDT

it took you 9 months of keeping us apart. If you are that confident we were never in love let me speak to her face to face for 15 mins. In that short amount of time I will know what is what. If she feels like I was in the wrong I want to know for myself. I accept people can change but you cannot change the thing that is inside you. You can adapt to others needs but you still want what you want.
I am sure that what I did was for her benefit and people close to her can vouch for it. I am not perfect but I have a good heart. You call me controlling, I suggest that you take a look at yourselves and tell me what you did that was so different.
You kept her away from people. I trusted her to make her own mind up but when that trust was broken I intervened.
You kept her money. I made sure she always had money.
You only let her write to who you allowed. I let her speak to people who didn't give her spirits.
You fed her. I tried to feed her.
You locked her away from society. I kept her in society
You got paid . I did it for love
When you stop being paid you will forget about her. I will still be here.
You had it easy with all your help. I had it hard because there was only me and her mum.
Harvey house did her detox and I was there every day even when she told the wanderer she didn't want to go Littledale I spoke to her and promised I would wait for her.
I have kept every promise I made her and I will still be here waiting till "she decides".
I dont think she lied to me or her friends like you made out and I dont believe she has someone else and i certainly dont believe she used me.
I hope she reads this and realises what you all have been doing.
I hope everyone reads this and goes to a better rehab, one that cares for their residents interest and not their own.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 26, 2011 8:27 pm EDT

I know that you have corrupted her mind so i think you need reminding what is important.
► Its not the colour of your skin but the color of your character;
► Its not the language that you speak but the words that you use;
► Its not where you live but how you live;
► Its not how much you earn but what you do to earn it;
► Its not where you are but how you got there;
► Its not that you are a human being but the kind of human being you are.

You may disagree to my beliefs but I dont think many other will.

Update by Unhappy family
Apr 28, 2011 8:37 am EDT

Who deserves what in life? You are dealt cards and you do the best you can with them. I dont expect her to come running because I am not that special, I am not a good looking hunk, I haven't got the best lifestyle in the world because I work damn hard. I dont live in an affluent area of wealthy people. Why would she run to me.
What i do have is the hop that she knows no matter what happens I will always put her first and I will never let her down again. Most of all that it will not be a gamble, it will be a sure thing. She thinks her views have change since she has been sober. Well why not take a look and see if she really remembers me in the right light.

Update by Unhappy family
May 08, 2011 2:06 pm EDT

Thanks for the support. Its good to know I am not the only one who feels this is wrong. I refuse to respond to proffesional opinions thoughts as I believe its their way of making me react. I dont care who you say she is seeing and I dont care for your sly digs and put downs. I am not perfect, far from it but I am a good person person who is done his best to help some one he loves dearly. may not have been good enough but to try and kill my heart you should take a look at your high and mighty selves.
I want to hear it from her, but you wont let her because your house of cards will come tumbling down

Update by Unhappy family
May 08, 2011 8:33 pm EDT

Now you are lying. I have never ever been violent to her. When ever she was out of control I used cold water to calm her down, ask anyone. If I had not tried to stop her she would never have got to Littledale. To clear another point you made, Littledale would let her ring me and originally tried to stop me from speaking to her in any way shape of form. Yet here you are saying you don't do that. Even her friends have been threatened with the police by staff. You just don't want her to know the truth.
You called her a user, made her out to be materialistic, said she was seeing someone else. All lies.
She isnt free to do what she wants, only to do what you say she can.

Update by Unhappy family
May 08, 2011 10:20 pm EDT

I would love to find out who it is. Who ever it is has manipulated my partner. It took them 5 months to break her into ending out relationship. By reading The comments on here I believe their biggest concern was that I wasn't the right colour. Although at first I didn't see it, its clear in the words used by proffesional opinion.
If this is how the describe me, I would hate how they twisted me in her mind. Her close friends are not allowed to contact her. Her mother informed her friend that she had not received any letters from her yet she had sent 4. Only when she had sent one recorded delivery did she receive it.
My honest opinion is that its not about her any more. They know if she communicates with anyone form Burnley she will become aware of how much they have lied to her. The opinion she has is completely wrong.
Passionate worker : You don't know me. However be aware that I tried to stop my partner drinking. I made her go to her AA meetings and when she missed thats why we would row. I poured her spirits away and gave her beer instead (weaker). I tried to make her eat and paid off her debts. I work, own my own homes (no mortgages) and as my partner wanted I own my own company and employ 16 people now. I didnt know how to deal with the situation but I learned and along the way I adjusted to help her go to rehab. I don't drink or do anything that could put her at risk anymore. I planned to move from the street we lived on so that she would be in a safe environment. I dont think I could do anything else.

Update by Unhappy family
May 10, 2011 8:39 am EDT

To give you a true idea of Proffesional opinions cowardice. This is the message sent to me privately. If you can post the name in a message then you wont mind it being put on here then will you? I admit it I am now more curious to find out if its true or is this part of this evil thing you do. Try to make me believe that the girl I love is nothing more than a cheat.

Professional-Opinion
11 days ago
Why you still persistent? You are nothing more than tooth ache that needs to extracted. She has a new interest in her life and you are not it. Ask her who lyndyn is? She may not want to upset you but if you ask her in your persuasive way she may tell you. Be prepare to find out how worthless you are to her. People who love each other don't mess around do they. I am sure that you wouldn't have done what she has done to you. I actually feel pity for you. Come back when your a bit wiser and older, we been in this game a lot longer than you have.

Update by Unhappy family
May 11, 2011 8:53 pm EDT

turtleglove, baldyman, mr very right, doing something different, professional opinion, bewareoffakers you all have ridiculed, insulted and disrespected myself and others who have commented on here.
Charmingbetty I thank you and others for pointing out clearly the intentions of these people.
For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. I think its time I sat back and waited.
My mistake is that I allowed you to provoke me and let you make me feel like I was not worthy of being loved.
I can promise that I have no intentions of changing her mind. I will let her see for herself how much I truely loved her and IF such a thing really exist I know in my heart that we will be together again. Everything that I ever did was for her protection and for her benefit (thank you for seeing that Rebecca) if I am wrong for doing what I did i will gladly accept the punishment.
I notice that you have yet to say my actions were wrong on here. Why?
Because you know that many people in my situation would (and have) done what I did to protect their loved ones.
I am Superman I am Romeo and I am mortal.
Kiss my rebel ### if you think you will ever make me feel bad again
AJ

Update by Unhappy family
May 12, 2011 11:06 am EDT

You know I wont do anything that would upset or hurt her progress and although you deserve it I wont risk her being affected by this. I hope you are sincere and I am sorry to everyone for backing down. Please understand she means more to me than getting back at them. I hope they learned a lesson of not judging a book by its cover.
I dont believe I am going to say this but with power come great responsibility. I think you shouldn't judge everyone the same.

Update by Unhappy family
May 14, 2011 5:04 pm EDT

Pro op sent me a message. I cant post it on here but I have sent it to some of you so you can understand my position.
I still don't trust Littledale and I don't think they expected "my kind" to give a damn.
I still have to wait. I am hoping the damage they have done is reversible without causing her problems.
icantbelieveit: Please tell your friend to stay strong and DO NOT give up on her. Tells him not to listen to what they say only what she tells him.

Update by Unhappy family
May 17, 2011 10:01 am EDT

Yes that was me in the "big brother house". They made her give up the dog baileys and I know that was never by her choice. I know her well enough to know she wouldn't do it unless she had been convinced it was her only option and I bet even now she will be thinking of her, I know I do.
Makes me think that if they could make her do that what else they could make her do and make her believe it was really her choice (not)?
I dont regret telling her to go because I feel I did what I said was for or benefit. If I could turn back time I still think I made the right decision for her, not the best one knowing what Littledale is like.
Thing is she wont know what has been going on out here and when she does I will let "her" decide what "she" wants to do.
I still love her and will wait as long as it takes.

Update by Unhappy family
May 23, 2011 1:11 pm EDT

Sorry, I dont want to let anyone on here down. I have not given up, nor do I intend to.
I will admit I am in a very horrible place at this moment. I have realised that Littledale will not risk being exposed for what they are and that there is nothing I can do about it without causing her stress. I am sorry but she is my priority and always has been. I am putting my trust in what I think is the truth. I have faith that she loved me before she went into Littledale. She loved me for 5 months whilst under their influence and it took them 5 months to eliminate me from her thoughts.
A friend of mine spoke to her and she told him she would get into trouble for talking to them. Even now they wont give her the freedom to make her own mind up. I cant change what they have done, but I am still going to keep my promise.
@shackattack thanks for the message it helps, but it is a very painful experience. I have to wake up everyday wondering and thinking and I have no answers.

Update by Unhappy family
May 25, 2011 10:19 am EDT

Thanks but no thanks, I would prefer her to work this out herself. What ever she has been told about me in there seems to be focused around every possible negative in our life. I cant change that and to be honest I have only regrets about certain things. The idea of her going to rehab was so that we could have a better life and get out of the rut of her waking drinking and all the arguments that ensued. She was not to blame, it was the drink, but when she was sober life with her was the best. Thats what I wanted and thats what I will wait for.
I know she will remember and she will realise everything I did was for her and yes me too.
I do appreciate you confirming K is not with someone.

Update by Unhappy family
May 25, 2011 7:13 pm EDT

Thank you but I don't want you to get into trouble. I know how they work and what would happen if you were found out.
Thank you again for confirming that Pro Op lied

Update by Unhappy family
May 30, 2011 5:23 pm EDT

Never spoke to anybody about anything. I was completely shunned. Never asked anything considering I was with her for 3 years you would think they would have. I did email Keith and told him everything about my past. After reading Professional opinions comment its quite obvious why.
I have read your message and I don't know the man you refer to but i suspected the women you mentioned.
I know how I feel about not being able to speak to her or getting answers. I know here better than Littledale, her heart is way too emotional for them to suppress. I loved her for it and always will. some people are one in a million, she is completely unique. She is the one that is why I will wait for her.
Love is something Littledale have NO idea about.

Update by Unhappy family
Jun 30, 2011 2:52 pm EDT

I haven't realised anything, I am still waiting. Was not ignoring you people, I am sorry if it seemed that way.
I am not embarrassed about how I feel or of my situation. I still love her and as I have said many times that will not change.
One more thing what old ways are you referring to and to my knowledge I have never have been off the rails and by off the rails it seems that you have insinuated I had some sort of issue. I have no issues and the only holic I suffer from is work.
I dont know what she wants, and if I ever see her I will show her you private message. I know when someone is trying to make me snap. It is not going to happen.

Update by Unhappy family
Jun 30, 2011 2:55 pm EDT

@MrPTotal answer is yes I am real although Littledale would have wished I wasn't. Be prepared for everything your mate has done to help to be twisted into something nasty.

Update by Unhappy family
Jun 30, 2011 2:58 pm EDT

@in group: No thank you - If she wants to speak to me it will be on her terms. Please dont discuss me and her. I would like her to choose off her own back.

Update by Unhappy family
Jul 04, 2011 12:47 am EDT

Strange though it may seem to people following this but I am at peace with myself.
Wondering if I was right or wrong in my action led me to a dark place in my life.
Littledale did exactly what I believed they did and now I have clarity my self doubt has gone.
I don't believe that you fail because you didn't try hard enough, I believe you underestimate the effort required to overcome the obstruction ahead of you. assess, re-evaluate and try try try again. Giving up is failing.
Littledale make people quit drinking, that is not true people do that because they want to and do that on their own.
Littledale put people on the right track, I may agree to that, but who decides what track to go on. It seems that Littledale's end of treatment choices are do what we say or your on your own.
Also looks like Littledale has some serious flaws in its claim to being the best.
Some one mentioned the awards and yes I checked it all out. Littledale is a school as well as a rehab. their award was for offering learning opportunities.
My research into other rehabilitation techniques and services have concluded one thing.
If you want to quit you will do it. After 3 months of seclusion, you should face the world and see what happens. if your not strong enough then seek support.
Easiest way to learn to swim is to jump in the pool.
I seriously think the government should look into spending more on outcare workers than places like this.

238 comments
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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
May 11, 2011 10:39 pm EDT

Can I clear up this matter of racism. I am not racist nor did I intend to come across racist. I may have come across passionate about my work and I am sorry if I have offended anyone.
If she decides to contact you and you reignite your relationship I hope you don't hold a grudge against Littledale as my views are not the views of Littledale Hall Therapeutic community as a whole.
You should be thankful, after all we have helped her regain her life back. Should you decide to contact the media it could have an adverse effect on her progress and I don't think you would want that.
I hope we can all put this matter behind us and grow up.

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googa
Kingsport, US
May 12, 2011 5:04 am EDT

Wow, we finally found what makes (un) Professional Opinion scared...Bring the media into the story and they back off and apologize... Proves that this person knows what they have said is wrong, and they shouldn't be commenting on this forum. I think bringing this to the media (where ever you guys are) is a great idea. The fact they say it would bother her treatment is a clear sign that they are scared, and their in the wrong. I don't believe it would bother her at all, but show her that she is loved by many people. Some who don't even know her. Hell I live in Tennessee and I have no idea who anyone involved is and I can see that this place is a ### hole. There is a huge difference in helping someone find their self and changing them all together just to benefit the workers or their pockets. Like I said, I myself have never been addicted to anything, I have however worked in a mental/rehab home before. I don't know what laws ya'll have there, or how ya'll run things, but here in the south I can assure you this would not have happened. We are all about family and friends helping in the recovery. I mean after all they have to leave at some point, they need people who love and care about them to be there when they get out. Other wise your doing nothing but setting them up to fail...Which makes sense if your only in it for the money and not actually helping them. That way they'll be right back under your thumb, padding your packets yet again, over and over. This place should be shut down for good! Again I'll state, I don't know anyone involved in this matter, if you don't believe me please let me know. We'll exchange email addresses and I'll prove to you where I'm from and that I have no connection. Well other than feeling really sorry for this amazing man that this place has ###ed in more ways than one.
Jess

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Rebecca A. Taylor
ES
May 12, 2011 11:34 am EDT

Unprof-op if your slur was not racial, would you care to elaborate exactly what you mean when you refer to your kind, you have made that statement twice so far, unless my eyes deceive me.

Further, how would contacting the media have an adverse effect on K? I'm sure enough that some of the work that Littledale has done with K has been of benefit, what really is in question here is your techniques and the detrimental effect it has had on the people who love K and most certainly AJ. There are a lot of men out there that would not stick around for as long as AJ has even though you have continually denied him access to K. What a brilliant plan! Cut her off from all of her old friends and the man she loves, fix her up how you see fit by relinquishing her ties to her allies then send her back out into this world. Crash and burn springs to mind.

I am absolutely dumbfounded at your manner Unprof-Op and the admittance that your views are that of your own and not Littledale as a whole only confirms my belief that your peers are unaware of your actions here on these forums.

I will advise you that since my involvement in this issue, I have contacted AJ with a request for his approval to contact Dispatches on his behalf if only to bring to the light the shocking ways you have treated this particular issue.

AJ... please continue to battle for your sunshine, God loves a fighter.

Regards,
Rebecca Taylor

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peer-2010
preston, GB
May 12, 2011 3:17 pm EDT
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I agree with you Rebecca, he has been put through a lot of needless pain and all because they wanted her to stay at their beck and call. Even now he is only thinking of her.
I understand your position AJ you dont want to make things hard for her, but you should also think of others going through the same thing you did. If it came down to it I would go on camera and say what needs to be said and show them that I am not an bitter failed alcoholic like they made us all out to be. I am someone who trusted them with my well being and instead I was treated like another income. When i was not a source of income for them I became nothing.

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Icantbelieveit
Keswick, GB
May 12, 2011 7:58 pm EDT

How can you do that to him and her and think a simple apology will suffice. Its down right disrespectful and nasty. You can see the hurt he must have been feeling yet you carried on and on at him. @AJ you must really love her to put up with this ###. If she doesn't take you back she is crazy or thats what they have made her. Rebecca is right, most guys would have give up. You have a really good heart.
I have been reading this because a friend of mine is in LHTC and I read the first few post a couple of months back and I thought AJ must be a bad man or something along those lines, BUT already the same thing is happening to her boyfriend and he is a complete gem. I am good mates with him and he has just been shunned from seeing his girlfriend of 4 years. He did what AJ did and so did her cousins. I don't get this place. Do they want people to let their family to drink themselves to death instead of helping them.
Your girlfriend is a really lucky

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peer-2010
preston, GB
May 16, 2011 6:09 pm EDT
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Dont believe them. Unpro-op is trying to save their own skin. What if you had given up? What if the media hadn't been mentioned?
AJ do what you think is right, I understand and think your doing the right thing.

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Sober as a Judge
manchester, GB
May 16, 2011 9:31 pm EDT

I think I know who you are. She was at Harvey House with me last June. AJ are you that asian lad who bought tennis rackets for us to have in garden and magazines is that you. You came to see her everyday she never had bad word to say about you. I remember no one talked till you turned up and made everyone chat. You even bought that rotty. My mate is meant to go to detox but she been Harvey House is closed.
I am so glad I dint go to Littledale. To think you told her she had to go, she well loved you. I dint know you for long but I never seen a man love a girl so much and reading this I can say you were a nice bloke. I did 9 months at Shardale at Bury, really good place and people let you make your own mind up. People should go there instead. They wouldn't ever do this to anyone.
Hope you two get sorted.
Marie xxx

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wagon ho
GB
May 17, 2011 10:09 pm EDT

Well said AJ. You have my respect now. I thought you were a dick and some ### piece of work that needed to be kept away from K. I will tell you that she has no idea about this and she has no interest like "un"professional opinion has made out. She is a really great lass and you have been made out to be a right ###. After reading this she is so wrong.

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Icantbelieveit
Keswick, GB
May 18, 2011 9:38 pm EDT

When my friend picked Littledale she got told by her AA guided it had won awards, I tried looking online to find them and only one I can find is for teaching people to become care workers.
‘best quality provision of social care work practice learning opportunities’
It means that they are a good place to learn about social care. Is Littledale really a teaching facility?
That award is not for looking after people, its for giving placements for people to learn social care. They have amateurs and students practising on real peoples lives. I know people need to learn but how much impact do these people have on lives and really they are a school.
I worry about my friend the more I learn.

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wagon ho
GB
May 18, 2011 10:45 pm EDT

They do try and convince you to become a care worker too, but I figured that is their way of keeping staff levels low. Get us to volunteer and work for free, they must be having a laugh. It is something that they have told K to think about. Thought you should know.
I thought about it and was pretty keen, but I went to Littledale to get MY life back not become part of the furniture. If you have nothing to go back to it will be easier for residents to choose to stay here. I'm out of treatment now and its right what they say about the bubble. Its not normal in there and out here your free to choose what you want without worrying who will grass on you.
I can understand why they do things the way they do now. Its to make the next lot of newbies do what you did, been speaking to my old peer, her opinion is totally different now I'm out. You do what you do and say what you say to get through. I'm sorry for what you been told, she isn't seeing anyone.

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Rebecca A. Taylor
ES
May 19, 2011 12:20 pm EDT

Professional-Op had her hand slapped and banned from the internet one wonders?

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inlittledale
lancaster, GB
May 19, 2011 3:31 pm EDT

Bingo, you finally figured it out.

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shackattack
manchester, GB
May 19, 2011 9:52 pm EDT

I hope professional opinion has been sacked. She should be made to face AJ and K (sorry I don't know you) and let them choose the punishment. I have never read something as infuriating as this. I am shocked that they blatantly mock "unhappy family" and others who have commented and acting as the have the divine right to dictate right and wrong. I hope your partner finds out how they treated you because mine is livid. She see's the similarities in how you are being treated to how she was coerced.
My partner was in rehab at Littledale and we split up whilst she was in treatment, however we are now back together. She was as you say "brainwashed" by these so called professionals into thinking I was bad for her recovery and that she had to get rid of people who would lead her back into temptation. She told me they did the whole "You are great with people" and "You should consider a job in social care." She figured out that she wanted to be home with her family and friends yet they were pushing her to stay on there. She is fine and says that it is very hard to ignore what they tell you, but you eventually make your own mind up. If she doesn't she will become institutionalised and preach to everyone on how good Littledale is. If you want her to see the truth, tell her to stay away from Littledale with her family for two weeks and her bubble will burst.
Good luck with her.

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peer-2010
preston, GB
May 21, 2011 1:18 pm EDT
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I was a bit annoyed AJ because you sounded like you were giving up, but after reading your message again I understand. My guess is that she hasn't read this website and wont been told about any of this. It would be the best thing in the world for you both if you could sit down and give each other closure either way. Its obvious you have a lot of trust in her to do the right thing, but I really wont give them the trust you are doing. Look at the way they treated everyone on here and how they speak. They are too high and mighty. I dont think they will back track or tell her the truth, only their own twisted version or deny it totally. What I am trying to say is Littledale and all their various people will some how push this all on you. I hope you will be ok and let us know what happens.

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sympathise
Heysham, GB
May 24, 2011 11:06 pm EDT

You have nothing to feel bad about. I have seen what has been going on and only now can I see what is really going on. When I see her I am going to tell her I am surprised no one already has told her. I see her in group I am going to tell her if that is OK with you. I thought Littledale were keeping some psycho away from her but you sound really sweet. Given me a lot to think about sorry I cant do any more to help you both. K is not seeing anyone.

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sympathise
Heysham, GB
May 26, 2011 8:25 pm EDT

Not as much trouble as that wanker professional opinion. I have made my mind up now what I am going to do and you make more sense than the workers who treated me.
It is me that made the problem and my buddy had to put with my problem and big up to him he helped me so I am going to help him. Why should I help people here when people who are my friends need help. I can make a difference by showing them I changed and I am better and they could do the same instead of hiding away and thinking they might contaminate my thinking.
I feel stronger and I want to go home where my family lives. If treatment has worked I shunt give a ### where I live only what I do where I am.
@Unhappy Family I really hope you win her heart back, she is a lucky girl to have someone stand by her the way you have. I hope you liked the message.

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freeadvice
GB
May 28, 2011 1:02 am EDT

Good for you! Its a lot easier to think clearly when you are out of there. Don't have them saying stuff to you to change your mind. You have made a choice and you did that on your own with out them telling you what to do. I felt a bit overwhelmed when I got out from under them. I'm back with my family now, if I had stuck to their plan I would be in Littledale volunteering my life away doing aftercare. Good luck with your idea sympathise, I think its a good idea.

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agent smith
Penrith, GB
May 30, 2011 1:37 pm EDT

I have a some things on my mind after reading this, like who are Littledale really? I have gone over this in my head since I left and although some of the things they say make sense the rest I think is guess work.. After reading some of the things AJ did I will say they are what any normal family would do, I have been on the receiving end and good intention never seem that way. I realise now when reading this that I was not the only victim of my problem.
I was not the product of my environment but of my own personal problems which I failed to address. I did what Littledale told me to do (okay you suggested but you might as well have) and I moved away. What I noticed and I cant be the only one is why they pushed subjects of conversation. Did anyone else feel like "home" was a taboo topic.
@AJ did you have conversations with Littledale about anything to do with your partners well being. I got the distinct impression that you were the root cause of her problem. Its what was put to most of us in there. I don't see that here. In there you talk a lot but now I come to think about it more and more I only talked about what they wanted us to talk about. Did anyone else feel like we were made to keep our real feelings to ourselves. I felt it was just easier not to say things.
I don't know how she will cope without talking to you. If I were in her shoes I would call and at least tell you how I am doing.
I think your not a bad person AJ, most men would have used this as an excuse to do whatever they wanted, I think you have done her proud and probably proven Littledale wrong about you. May be this why they have had "professional (kkk) opinion" poke a stick at you. I love your honesty and how you took blame for your own misgivings. I pray she will speak to you if she hasn't already. Stay strong, true love is a rare thing to see. Please keep us informed.
I will message you who I think "professional opinion" is

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shell2009
morcombe, GB
May 31, 2011 9:46 pm EDT
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I hope you don't falter. I have sent you a message sent to me by another residents partner. I told him to post his treatment on here, its very similar to you and Karl . Its not just us that have had this treatment its nearly everyone that goes there. Its not nice and they still getting away with it.

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Jun 01, 2011 5:22 pm EDT

Not very honourable are you. I thought we had a deal. Why have you not told everyone to stop this? I would like to make it clear my comments previously made have no affiliation with Littledale and I made them as an individual without consent from LHTC.

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shell2009
morcombe, GB
Jun 02, 2011 9:14 pm EDT
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Who are you to talk to him about honour after everything you said to him. Why you think that he should deal with you after you didn't even consider him a human on the same level as "your kind". And another thing, it is nothing to do with UF what I write and say, you do not control us anymore and I wont loose anything if I do, you can blackmail him with whatever you want. Never ever have I been so angry about how someone has been talked down to. You have only now decided you are not a professional speaking for a resident of Littledale, why? Because your wrong and you been lying to him about her seeing someone.

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freedomfight
GB
Jun 10, 2011 7:12 pm EDT

Its amazing! How the hell have you kept calm unhappy family (AJ). I wouldn't take that off Professional (dick) Opinion. What a u-turn (someone is full of ###). I will put you odds on that freak is bricking it for what he/she said. Know who your on about and she may have said what she said but she is still human and will not have them banging on at her soon, actually she should have left by now. Let her come to you, like everyone has said and I think she will, I will be bummed if she dint. Be careful not to confront her and listen to everything she wants to say. She will have loads that she will want to say to you, things that she will want to get off her chest, be honest with her because her trust will have to be earned and she wont be same girl who went in.

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shell2009
morcombe, GB
Jun 18, 2011 12:47 pm EDT
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I received this.

Shameless concerned
30 days ago
Hi, My partner has just finished her treatment and some of what you have said, and especially the comments made by Karl are exactly what I faced during her treament. I feel that, when it suited them, you were an important part of the course, but at most times, you were just a hindrance. I felt that the longer the treament went on, the more of an "enemy" I was to my partner. Fortunately, we are very strong as a couple and are still together. I was made to feel that it was all my faault, and that everthing I did was impacting on her alcoholism. One day in particular, we were due a visit into Lancaster town. As usual, I arrived a little early as I wanted to make the most of the day. Wew were due to leave at 1pm, but at 12.55, she awas summoned to the office to discuss something that had gone on earlier that morning. Why they waited til we were due to leave, I don't know. 40 mins later, I was asked to go to the office to say hello to the staff. I refused, saying that it was "my time" with my partner, and that I was not wasting anymore time. I was eventually convinced to go say hello which I did. On our return, I was summoned to the office, and told, in no uncertain terms, that MY behaviour was unacceptable annd any repeat would mean I was no longer welcome there. My comment, that they didnt have to leave any discussion with my partner to the last minute, were totally ignored. Quite frankly, I couldn't give a ### about the staff there. I found their manners, behaviour and total lack of compromise, to be unprofessional at best, and negligent at worst. My partner would often get "pots" for something trivial, and wold lose her phone call. When a phone call is all that got me through the weekss, it was a hard pill to swallow, forgive the pun. I'm not sure that I agree with the money making agenda, there were some very caring people in there, staff and patients, but I do feel that those in treament are being somewhat brainwashed. I also got the impression that some, not all, of the staff were man-haters. Not sure what you think ? My partner was, on many occasions, advised to finish our relationship. She always refused, but was made to feel that she was wasting her time with treament if she went back to her old life. We have since relocated to the area, and have founf that a high percentage of ex-patients have lapsed, my partner including.

I would really appreciate you looking at this and telling me what you feel.
Best Regards,
C.

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Man-eater victim
GB
Jun 18, 2011 4:16 pm EDT

I have been a victim of this behaviour but I was made to think I was a selfish person. My partner is in there now. I think they should consider what we are going through as well but they tell you that their only concern is the one in treatment. I can't help but wonder how many people fail after treatment because of this? I looked at their success rate, it's not as great as they claim it to be.

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Jun 19, 2011 2:42 pm EDT

If a person has a lapse then they should seek help from their support network. If they continue on the same path into full blown relapse then they should address the cause. We cannot be held accountable for everyone who fails.
We provide the tool with which they can create their own safe environment and identify possible situations that cause lapses. If they choose to ignore them then relapsing is inevitable.
We don't tell people who to have a relationship with, even if it's a mistake. They make their own mind up and we help them remain safe.

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peer-2010
preston, GB
Jun 20, 2011 12:08 pm EDT
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@Professional Opinion: You are accountable for your actions. You take credit for success and dismiss failure as not your fault. Well here is news for you. "WE" know we have no one to blame but ourselves for "OUR" actions. We also know only "WE" can make our environment safe. I also know there is no point beating your self up if you lapse. If you fall off the bike, then get back on it and ride like the wind. Try harder. More importantly dont rely on others rely on yourself. Littledale got you back on track, so get on with your life not the one they accept.

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Jun 21, 2011 5:58 pm EDT

You mean like AJ failed to convince his EX that he was right for her or how he failed to make her stop her substance misuse or how he failed to do anything his ex-partner wanted. Failing is a part of life (some more than others) AJ has found out the hard way love is not everything.

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shell2009
morcombe, GB
Jun 25, 2011 12:26 am EDT
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What is your obsession with AJ. He hasn't said anything but you attack him. Why are you trying to get a rise out of him. Don't you think he has suffered enough that you want to call him a failure. I hope his ex reads this and figures out who you are. If he is still standing by waiting for her I hope she appreciates it for what it is.
AJ I hope you are ok and you have spoken to her. If not hold on and be strong.

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in group
GB
Jun 28, 2011 7:21 pm EDT

Does she know any of this? Bunch of ###ing wankers, I know the rumours that are floating about her and him. Complete madness, what the ### has h bothered waiting for. I assume Keiths Professional Opinion cos I know he did his fair share in this ###. If I were him I would show her this or has he bagged her off. Wont surprise me if he had.
My opinion, its a great place is Littledale, funny bit is the control thing, well thats what we learn in there is to be controlled and then do the controlling I think people are getting wise to how they work thats why rooms are empty. I dont like how we are influenced. I bet a hundred grand that they will do everything in their power to stop her seeing im. After all, he has done nothing that they pushed him into. He has made Littledale show their true colours too. Does any else realise how racist they are being on here. that oil and water remark is a ###ing joke.
AJ I hope you get brought up in group, it will be interesting session.
Tell you what though, they are not as clever as they make out. I didn't know about this website until they mentioned it, now I know why they don't want us go on it. one more thing the lad professional knob mentioned was after her mate not her. Ask her yourself because I'm gonna tell her speak to you, she's out of treatment now. ###ing well out of order. message me your number and i will give it to her.

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Mr P total
US
Jun 30, 2011 11:53 am EDT

Is this AJ real? Does anyone know how get hold of him. I have messaged him a couple of times and he is either ignoring me or has he give up. Has he got in touch with Dispatches or one of the other TV shows? I know someone who has had same ### who is in there now. He needs some advice on what to do.
He used to do stuff with his bird but stopped and made her go rehab, he is working now and has got back on track and now he isn't allowed to speak to his girl anymore.
I read stuff like this and I thought your not allowed do stuff like this, or are they?
Are him and his bird back together? Peer2010 DO you know what is going on?

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shell2009
morcombe, GB
Jun 30, 2011 11:59 am EDT
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I dont think he has given up, I think he is just waiting for her to make her own mind up.

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Jun 30, 2011 12:34 pm EDT

AJ has realised that she made the decision not to be with him and knows she is happier now. She has had ample time to speak to him and has refused to do so. If anything this is a clear message that everyone should ignore what has been said on here and choose Littledale to start their journey into a safer lifestyle.
I pity him for the rejection he must be feeling, it is so sad when you "love" someone and she don't care. It must be really embarrassing and it would be understandable if he went off the rails and back to his old ways.
I hope everyone else realises that we know what we are doing, Littledale is a nurturing environment where people discover who they really are and remove the negative people from their lives.

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Jun 30, 2011 6:29 pm EDT

Simple question. She has left treatment now, has she spoken to you?

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Professional-Opinion
Brookhouse, GB
Jul 02, 2011 11:41 am EDT

You sure about that? She hasn't even contacted you once by text?

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peer-2010
preston, GB
Jul 05, 2011 7:48 pm EDT
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I think you are right.
And professional op, what is your interest in this matter? You said you had nothing to do with Littledale even though you claimed to have had 1 to 1's with his partner. I suggest you now stay out of it. if she decides to speak to him that should be her choice and if she does lets see if she doesn't get punished or pressured.
Aj If she knows what everyone else has seen then she will never doubt your feelings for her. Stay strong and do not bite.

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mistrust
GB
Jul 07, 2011 9:04 pm EDT

I left because they tried to mess with my head and I got sick of it. I kept getting dishes (pots) for stupid things and worse thing was they stopped the only one who kept me there from coming back to hall. You have no idea how scary it were being on my own feeling like I was going ### up and they wont help because I wanted to do what felt right for me. They tried to make me ### up and lapse so they could patrol me around and say "look what happens if you dont listen", well I ###ing didn't and Littledale showed me their true colours. I'm not going to be a volunteer. I am home with my family where I belong.
Give her time and her bubble will burst. Its only because she is afraid of not having the help or safety blanket. She needs to learn she can do it with out them.

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in group
GB
Jul 10, 2011 4:10 pm EDT

@professional opinion: You don't need to know who I am.
@Unhappy family: No I am not. The make everyone watch each other and I didn't say anything. I think she has a right to know about all this.

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wagon ho
GB
Jul 10, 2011 9:51 pm EDT

I know what's been going on and you should know it was quite obvious. You was right all along, everything you said. You know what is going on dont you? I want to help but like everyone else hands are tied. If we say anything to her she will go running back and report us. Not saying she is a grass, but thats what they teach you. She will think its a test of loyalty (if you can call it that).
Keep it up and I hope you both have a real good life together.

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Ex-resident
GB
Jul 13, 2011 9:00 am EDT

I know what you have done wrong mate, you were born a man. Ask any guy that's been there and they will tell you that place is full of man hating staff who would like nothing better than to blame everything on men. Even women who have been there know it, you can ask them.
The whole system revolves around breaking ties and even if you were sound as a pound they will find something about you to break her with. She will either tell them to jog on, else fall in line. When your in there and you don't have contact you do what they want.
I wouldn't say its a bad place, I agree with you are trying to say (I think), this place is overstepping the boundary between treatment and interfering for their own gain.
Don't trust a word they say to you especially that Professional Opinion. Sounds like he is trying to make you snap.There will be a reason behind everything He/"SHE" says.

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perp2011
GB
Aug 09, 2011 10:22 am EDT

Your in for a shock and everyone who send their loved one here are too. These are the most two face people you could ever meet. They change you into someone who is suspicious and entrusting in the wrong people. I have detached myself from every one I know and I feel sick inside at what I have done. Dont trust what has been said to me now because I see how they bend the rules for everyone. All this ### that you cannot have relationships in Littledale. Even the staff and volunteers are at it. They only say things when people complain, but its all a big click. I hope you have moved on with your life because your ex is the biggest liar of the lot. We know you been seeing her, but she never admitted it.

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