I would like to start by saying I believe therapy and rehabilitation is a good thing and that the concept behind Littledale hall is good.
However I have a major issue with Littledales treatment of relationships. This is a snippet from their website.
"Family and friends may play a vital role in the recovery process. Given this residents are encouraged (when possible and appropriate) to attempt to rebuild or develop positive relationships with family and friends"
It must be pointed out that our relationship was never an issue. All our arguments occurred only when my partner was drunk.
Littledale told my partner to end our relationship and end communications with me the moment that she entered the place. How was this rebuilding our relationship?
When she refused they allowed a compromise that she could only communicate via letter.
I found out that this alone was a complete breach of social care rules.
When I received letters from her they were dated 3 weeks late and were franked on the same day. By this I mean I received 3 letters in one go all franked on the same day yet dated 3 weeks earlier. It was clear that they had been withholding the mail my partner had sent.
Mail that I sent to her was being kept until someone was able to read it to her by Sue Robinson her key worker.
So lets talk about Sue Robinson
Mrs S Robinson. Dip Counselling. BA Hons TOPPS. Over 7 Years experience of working as a counsellor in a Therapeutic Community. CENTRA Groupwork Cert. DANOS Level 3 Health & Social Care (TBC Jan 2008)
This person seem well qualified but when my partner posed questions to me her answers were simply not helpful. I asked her opinion on a number of occasions especially when i had letter clearly stating my partners unrest.
She was quick to make suggestions that would make my partner stay in rehab, but none that would alleviate her discontent. In hindsight I should have never trusted her as this is a business not a family like they claim.
It is my opinion and I can prove Sue Robinson breached protocol and aided in the breakdown of my relationship.
1) she failed to relay on vital information that would stop my partner getting stressed.
2) she disallowed dialogue between me and my partner.
3) she failed to pass on key information to my partner.
4) she convinced me not do thing my partner had requested
5) She interfered in our relationship.
6) she put phone down on me when I requested to speak to Keith Robertson the director. The phone wasnt even answered by her.
Now lets talk about Mr Keith A Robertson
Registered Manager . CCETSW, CSC, IMS, DMS, Cert Ed 1. Advanced Cert Substance misuse. GCT Cert Group Therapy. Over 17 Years experience of working in the substance misuse field. 14 years experience of Managing Therapeutic Communities.
After reading his qualifications I trusted his judgement. His promise to arrange an interview after three months was broken and he had not kept his word. The communications still remained blocked.
I requested to see my partner on her birthday, Eid and My birthday yet all were denied. She wasn't even allowed to call me.
Up until a week ago my letters from my partner were full of questions that I had been advised to ignore and not respond to but consistently they ended with love, missing you, and xxxx.
I then received a disturbing letter telling how emotional and erratic she was feeling (confirmed by a family member)
I called in to Littledale and was shocked to be told this was not the case that she was happy and fine.
I asked about why she was home sick and i was told to ignore her and just talk about stuff that was not going to make her feel bad. I did just that.
A week later I received a dear John letter.
when i called in i was completely shunned by the staff and told if i rang again I would be arrested for harassment.
I contacted Keith Robertson who at first seemed to be helpful but then also shunned my calls.
I have received an anonymous call, from Lancaster telling me that my partner is being lied to, by staff and manipulated into a wrong state of mind. They have got involved into our personal lives and made wrong suggestions that over step the line.
My advise is not to use this rehabilitation facility as it is looking after the Business as oppose to the Patient.
They are currently being investigated for this.
Thank you for your comments.
Shelly who was your treatment key worker. My partners is Sue Robinson. The reason i ask is the the "confident woman" thing that you said is always said by her and was in my last letter from my partner. It seems like you were treated by same person.
Karl, how did you cope and what were they like with you?
If you dont mind me asking did you use any thing and what reason did they give?
Shelly how long were you in for?
Did you get to see him at all?
Thanks for that.
I intend to hold tight because I don't want to interfere in her treatment but with what you lot have said so far it seem Littledale hall is not what it makes out.
Is there a way i can find out it success rate. I think i might get a news paper involved to see if t he can high light it. They may be able to shed light on the success rate.
I am sorry please could you give me more details. Yes my partner has a dog which they are now looking after for her. I received a letter from her feeling homesick and she said she was erratic. I know it is your career but this is my life and i am really worried about her state of mind. They are saying she is making her own choices and knows what she wants. I received an email from Keith saying that he spoke to her and that she was adamant about her decision.
They have put me in a catch 22 if I dont abide by her wishes then I am in the wrong. If i do then I risk letting her down.
Everyone who is reading this is advising me to go get her.
I think if I do and I am wrong then then what happens.
Cant post contact details but I could really do with your help. Been worried about her welfare and if i have been lied to from the start. This situation caused a major rift between me and her mother. I am starting to wonder how much of what sue says is the truth and how much is her adding her two pence. Me and partners mum both were on the same page until I was told she had asked that I not be allowed to communicate with her. (as next of kin)
Can you email me I would like some more details.
I want to say that some people tried to see her but were refused and I have been warned not to communicate or persue this matter.
I have put this to her family now to deal with as I am in no position to do anything.
I will stop writing and will do as she has asked because regardless it was her choice and she made it. I will wait and see how things pan out.
I wont however give up on her.
I am speaking from my experiences only.
I am only aware of how Littledale treated me an how you created the platform to which my relationship suffered. My partner wanted stability and you advised me against giving it to her. My first letter from her was to tell me you had demanded that she end her relationship with me.
Why would you tell a resident to do that on arrival. You had no right to do that and not expect it to have had a negative effect. Dont play innocent. I contacted kieth Robinson and you told me that the next of kin was responsible. Do you know how much trouble you caused by that comment alone.
She wanted answers and you advised not giving them to her.
She was upset.. You wouldn't let me communicate with her.
She was feeling homesick you told me she wasn't
Even her mother told people she was emotional yet you think she was fine. How blind are you.
You withheld her letters for THREE weeks fro the date she wrote them to when i received them. ALL in one go i receive three. all franked on the same day (i still have the envelopes as proof)
If your treatment was as you said why separate us apart and make life difficult.
You created a situation that would ultimately result in the demise of our relationship. I know when we meet that this will change.
You know she was feeling emotional and I called you to ask for advise. YOU lied and said she was fine.
When she though bad things you let her stew. when she wrote me nice things the letters were over week late.
Yes I can clearly see that you wanted her to remain a resident and now you have put me in a catch 22 situation. I am damned if I do something and damned if I don't. My 1st concerns is her. Littledale however will not get away with doing this to someone else.
Don't play the shocked and dismayed. Your business is a care home. You need residents to make money.
I know that I am unable to do anything to rectify my situation but I also know that we love each other very much. Love is not conditional or something that can be switched off. If she was able to make this choice then she will be able to tell me herself face to face without any difficulty. Your manager said she wasn't able to. Her decision was not what she wanted but what she thinks she has to do that is what everyone seems to say you place is all about.
You have now created another situation which will effect my partner in the future.
Sue Robinson kept saying "confident woman" my partner said exactly same thing. She has been taught to say that and made to think like sue. I know my partner better than you think. I can tell in her letters when she is herself and when she is speaking Littledale.
I have read your resident comment highlighted by peer and you can see by just reading them that they are staff. the speech switches from first hand to third party. Fake fake fake.
I will wait till she finishes her treatment and I will be there for her like I have been for the last three years. You have no idea what I went through for her and what our history is.
If my partner is effected in anyway by your action then i will pursue you as the responsible. She should be left unaware of this as she has no access to the internet.
In the mean time IF you have created a successful treatment we will not see anymore comments by others. by reading this i doubt it
You have no complaint procedure and my complaint was ignored that is why i have now done this to help others.
By the way "doing something different" are you resident, ex resident or employed. I suspect you are employed in management as you have switched from one to another.
If you cant make your own mind up to who you are how can you treat others.
Why would you fake your own testimonials unless you cant give them.
So let me get this right Baldy man employs 3 people who now work AWAY from home and AWAY from bad influences. Why. If they are treated they should be able to walk down the same streets and not be bothered.
And as for me being a bad influence I was the one who wanted my partner to get help. I made her attend her meetings and the only reason we fell out was because i tried to stop her drinking.
The main cause of her drinking was her past not her influences. many people live in society without having to worry about walking past an off licence. You have employed 3 people doing what if you dont mind.
Mr very right i own my own business, own my i own home no mortgage or loan and never been out of work and never been short of money. My life is now incomplete because the person i love thinks i didnt care about er. I am not allowed (by littledale) to express my feeling to her and am expected to sit down and throw a 3 year relationship away. ### littledale
Again turtleglove and the baldy man are one and the same claiming to be employer and resident and staff at the same time.
My partner ex if you want is in there to stop drinking and substance abuse. I wanted her clean. I wanted her to stop. So yes i controlled what she did by trying to stop her getting involved with people who drank and did other things. I hated finding her in incoherent states but worst of all I hated people taking advantage of her.
I you people think I was wrong for trying to protect her and get her the help she needed then I am Guilty as hell. I will not regret my actions. Littledale class that as control yet they do exactly the same thing. control the environment and control communication and control the money. The difference is I did it because I love her, You do it cos you are paid.
Dont dare taint what I feel for her with your lies. I have my evidence of you actions. I also know that she cannot have lied to me about how she felt. I never felt that with anyone else and I know it was real.
You wont let me see her because you know she will remember her feelings and you will be wrong. My money and everything I own means nothing without her. I am not a bad person.
You however are. You made me resent my partners mother because you claimed she had restricted access to my partner. This caused a big rift. I know that this was now a lie. SUE Robinson told me that lie. Why did you tell me that Sue. Because my partner was unsettled and you knew she would leave. The sad part is that I wanted her to complete her treatment not walk out. I trusted you were telling me the truth SUE and you lied. You kept her letters from me when she was seeking answers about us. you kept pages from letters because my partner numbered them. I want to know why you did it.
I know its the truth people where I live know what I had to do and how I acted while she was in there. Many people who are close to my partner know exactly what I have been going through because of you and I grinned and bared it for my partners sake.
You want a lesson in love I will give it to you cos I topped the class. Pure and unconditional no reason just feeling.
1.45 am and I am still working to provide for her and I will still do it till she returns. When we are together and I know we will be I will tell you all how wrong you were.
I want it clear that I do not want her to fail, I want her to succeed. I dont want her to get back on the drink and I will be doing everything I can to assure that.
Why did i sound obnoxious, because i work and own my own company?
You are however correct I have no idea what goes on up there.
I do know what has been said and done?
What i cannot fathom is why you would make comments about me unless you have been talking to staff about my partners PERSONAL affairs which as Littledale say is another big rule and a big no no.
So you and your husband have clearly had access to details that you should never have had. You have again shown Littledales munipulative ways.
You have only known my partner for 3 months and you expect me to believe that you know her better than her friends and her family.
And Sue or Denise or which ever Member of Littledale staff you are. I wont contact her I will wait till she makes her OWN mind up. I dont control her and have never been able to ask her mother.
And for the record This is my only profile. What i said and I commented is MY thoughts only I have not said anything i cannot prove.
I only gave people a platform to express their thoughts, just like you. If you dont like them it is not my fault. Difference is You can ask them so why haven't you.
I think that you have put me through enough and the stress I put my partners mother through because of your comments are more unforgivable than anything else I have done.
I know her mother an pa pa know how much i love that girl yet you have labelled it control.
Protecting people you love is not control its what you are meant to do.
You may like to break up relation ships for the ease of life but life is not easy.
I wont give up on her at all like you want. I will however give her space to make her own mid up. Thats something YOU wont do.
I know I have made some mistakes in my past. None of them have involved her. I am so sure that I am not wrong I wont contact her. I will leave her to remember because we had great moments together and those moments will surface.
I have not had the chance to remind her because we have been kept apart. If littledale is so sure that i am wrong then they should not have interfered. But they did.
I have been speaking to someone who did Rehab and he has said that they keep you busy and suppress your feelings.
My partner is a loving emotional person and has a heart of gold and I know you cannot take that from her.
By the post that you make "Mr very right" you only prove that Littledale are behind it all and not her.
When she leaves i will give her space to make her own mind up. Let her ask questions and answer them. Questions that will need answering.
You judged me, called me a chancer, a fly boy and far from dull you should have looked into me properly. If thats your opinion then i dread your abilities as therapist.
Ps he proper channel have been notified and the post marke letter dated by your franking machine have been sent to them. Whats you lie going to be?
Got to admit that you are really trying to goad me. You're to late. Been warned and been told. You can say what you want now. I am now going to wait and see. As a member of staff at Littledale You had no right to make the comments you have made about my partners personal life on here. I can prove the information i provided. The letters and the comment. Where do you have it written that I am chancer. My partner knows i am far more than that.
Like I said when she is out of there and if we meet the only one i will blame is littledale. No one else at all. Your place isnt magical its business.
GOOD NIGHT
Far from it. I counted 4 and with this soon to be made more visible i can soon see more and more posting their experiences.
I have seen your reaction already. You are going to say its people who have failed the treatment, but there are them who said they have still abstained. I say good on them. I have no right to say what others have or have not experienced. Only how you have treated me and that is my right to complain. If it saves people going through what you put me through then i will have done them a favour.
You also forget when she returns she will be able to see this and the comments made. Chancer, fly boy, dull, control freak her true friends know that was never the case. But that has been planted in her head. None of the positives.
So yes i am confident about where i stand. You on the other hand will not be.
iamtracy, I know how she feels i feel really angry, but she needs to help him. Sue Robinson is my partners Key worker and by reading what turtleglove has said (who cant make up his/her mind if she is the husband or wife) peoples personal lives are discussed and manipulated for their labour force.
How can a person working at Littledale employ people with out it being a conflict of interest. if she/ he doesn't work at Littledale, why does she/he know personal details of my relationship.
Sue you have shown yet another breach of patient confidentiality to suit you own agenda.
People from outside that establishment should not know anything or financially gain from resident as you clearly have demonstrated you do.
Today i recieved a phone call from an officer who is investigating harrassment complaint made by the staff at littledale. I was more concerned that they claimed that i had been ringing them. This is totally untrue.
What also concerned me is that SUE Robinson did this complaint infront of my partner to the police.
I have complied with the officer and said i would allow them access to my phones.
My last letter was last week and i have not since wrote or called up at anytime. My last email to keith robertson was on 20/10/10
My conclusion is that Littledale have tried to hurt me by making me look bad in front of my partner.
I requested that when the officer proves that i had not made the call. I would like him to return to Littledale and tell my partner the allegation is not true.
Littledale, you have again shown me more evidence that you manipulate people and now you have proven the depths that you would sink to.
Sue you have again lied and your actions will only upset my partner. when this come out in the wash i will be seeking a statement off the police officer and presenting it to the proper authorities.
So you are backing SUE for lying to the police and to my partner.
You fail to realise that Sue's actions have only proven how far Littledale will go. Lying to the police and getting staff to do the same. I welcome the police as it will prove that you lied about the calls and it will go on record. The fact that she did it in front of her will show how low she went to manipulate her. My only concern is how this will effect my partner when she realises the one that she trusted was lying the whole time. I did not ring Littledale again or write to her since i was asked to..
Littledale is getting exposed for what it is and more people will think before putting their trust in a place like this.
I really appreciate the off and thank you, but I will wait for my partner to do it off her own back. I dont want anyone else to suffer at the hands of these people. You can message me your details if you wish and explain who you are.
I wont break the law and I wont allow SUE to put my partner through another interview with the police. I am still outraged that she sunk so low as to do that. To lie to a resident and make false allegation so as to drive a wedge between them. . I hope you have the answers ready for why you put her through that unnecessarily. I have witnesses that can confirm that i have not wrote or called.
I certainly will not use a third party to do it either.
I know her better that they think they know her. Her true feeling will overcome what they have programmed into her head. It is just a matter of time and I think she is worth the wait.
I have another complaint. You made my partner get rid of the dog. that dog was part of the family. You should have let me have her back if you didnt want her. we were looking after her fine and now you have given her away to a stranger.
You are really sure you have made her better. She would never in a million/ billion life times given that dog up.
I have no idea why she broke with me, but that dog was her child and you some how made her part from it.
You also have told everyone not to mention it so that she wont get upset.
What is she going to do when she wants her dog back?
And if i even got my partner wrong i know she loved that dog more than me.
If you know where it is please dont let her go. I am now begging you not to do it. That dog means everything to her and you have no idea what you are doing.
It is obvious that you are pushing her in some way.
The plans we made were for her to finish her university course I hope she still sticks with it.
I really want her to achieve what she wants to do. She has always regretted it and it has been one of her main goals in life.
I always wanted her to do it and I will be more disappointed if she doesn't apply for September.
My main thing was to earn enough money to support her through it and give her a foundation to come out to.
I still plan on being here for when she comes out and I have no intentions of being with anyone but her. She is my soul mate and everything.
I know we loved each other and that the only reason we have split is the divide that Littledale created.
When I meet her I wont expect anything because I believe in love and that is something Littledale destroyed by labelling it control.
They have tainted what we had and I will remind her what she means to me.
She is worth every bit of pain I am feeling and I am willing to anything she wants.
Thanks for pointing BEWAREOFFAKERS out.
The person made a post trying to say All these people are fabrications.
Well let me tell you that this is me and only this is me.
Littledale I have nothing but contempt for your behaviour and yes I have reported you to the necessary channels.
I have given a platform so that other people who you have treated with the same disregard can voice their experiences and others can see how you treat people.
If I had known I would have never allowed her to go there.
However I want her to finish her treatment then I will see her.
You are so confident that this was her choice then why did you tell her she was not allowed to contact me when she arrived. I have her very first letter explaining that you did this.
Everyone here has similar experiences, I take full credit of letting people know. I now only await her return.
Love is impossible to switch off. When we meet she will remember and I will let it be her choice.
I wasn't going to respond, but why not.
How do you know who and what I am?
Why would you describe me as such?
I wish more people were like me as do many others in this society.
Only six months to go and I will have proven everything I promised I have kept to.
I have the strength to carry on my trials and tribulations with out having to bend to the pressures of peers.
I do what I feel is right and have no doubt that when she realises why I did what I did she will be the only one who can judge me and I will take anything she says.
I have no problems accepting my faults, but I do have problems with people feeding off the weak and what is the common theme with everyone posting on here.
I dont need pity off people who make money out of the misfortunes of others.
I have nothing more to say about the way you behaved that is between me and her.
After reading what everyone has wrote on here I feel much better and am continuing building the future i promised her. No matter what you say I will still be here waiting for her. Nothing you can say will make me change the feelings I have for her.
Firstly I tried and agreed that rehab was the best option.
I supported her all the way through and still do.
What i dont like is the ### lies that the staff at littledale made out.
For example blaming her mother for no contact
making out that her laptop had not been sent
telling me not to do as she asked and then leaving me to take the blame.
keeping her letters from me and keeping mine from her
But again I will say this... I was not trained or paid to help her for the last three years. Why did i do it?
They were not easy years as her mother will know only too well.
I wont disrespect her mum as her mother tried her best and in the end it wasnt enough because we both got played by someone whos whole world revolved around drink.
But when she was sober i saw the beautiful confident women that you all only see now.
How many times did people tell me to wash my hands of her. (rememeber)
What did I do? I stuck by her.
I have not destroyed the reputation of littledale.
I just pointed a few thing out that Littledale wouldnt clarify.
Everyone else ha a right to speak their own mind (now they have their own minds)
She is the love of my life. I believe she has forgotten our real relationship and has only focused on the bad things.
Her memories will be a blur of visions and drunken stoupers.
Surely treatment would include making sure what she remembered is a truthful account and not onesided.
The stupid thing is I wanted her to be sober and did everything i could to make sure she finished her treatment.
I hope she doesnt come out because of this but i hope i get to at least see her and speak to her.
Oh and one more thing i will say Six members of staff at littledale claimed i made phone calls to the establishment after the me and her split.
WHY DID YOU LIE IN FRONT OF HER FOR?
YOU PROVED TO ME WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF.
I am unhappy and have been ever since.
I am not unhappy about her because that is the only thing keeping me going.
I need to point somethings out.
1) as mention i was with her 3 years and no we are not family.
2) I cant understand why her mother would write this. She knew how difficult things were.
3) My partner has always been beautiful and confident. She just believed the beer helped. I spent a lot of time with her sober and she is a great person to be with. her little moments of clarity far outweighed all the bad times. I always knew that the drink was the cause. that's why I stood by her.
4) I am in love with her. That wont change. Littledale kept us apart but my feelings are still as strong. I also know her mother said she would respect her daughters decision. Why would she tell me to move on? I knew this was possibly going to be 12 months and i was prepared for that.
5) Why did her mother mention money and house, these are things that meant nothing to my partner. She was never materialistic at all, and i resent the insinuation that it was the only reason she was with me. I learnt money meant nothing from her. Her mother also knows this more than any one.
Which makes me wonder. who actually wrote that post. My partners mother would never stoop so low as to try and hurt my feelings with jibes. She is better than that, and she would never insult people she doesn't know.
We may have our differences but I know that she knows I tried to do what ever I could for her daughter.
Whenever she needed me she knew my door was never closed.
The route cause of our feud was all caused by sue robinsons lie. partners mum never told you to stop me seeing her. yet sue led me to believe my partners mother (next of kin) had made a request to keep us apart.
this cause a rift and further issues. How was this building relationships? I wont blame her mother for anything anymore. I blame myself for trusting a strangers.
My complaint is about the way littledale kept my letters and lied to my partner. Possibly even her mother. What everyone else wrote helped me keep strong.
6 months to go and i will see what my partner want when she comes out. until then I will wait for her.
Anyone who reads this please do not say anything to her mother. I don't believe her comment to be malicious. When I see my partner I will in my own time when she is ready.
I don't blame her, other for her actions, she is just happy her daughter is sober (as am I).
My attempt to help her may have failed but at least I tried.
I will be here when she realises what the "brainwashing" was really for.
How long were you there for Clive, and when did you leave?
What do you mean cruelty and neglect?
I have stayed off commenting on here as it has made my life hell. Littledale can do or say what ever they want. All i know is that someone I love with all my heart has decided to leave.
According to Littledales description of me, Im controlling, an abuser and someone who wasn't worthy of an interview to see what i was really about. They never took the time to realise my arguments with my partner were about her trying to get out of going rehab. They were about her drinking spirits and me trying to get her to eat.
I had a well paid job and I worked really hard. When I came home I had to pick up the pieces that had been left around. Did Littledale care? No. The number of times my partner was exploited people offering her drink to get what they wanted. What was I meant to do stand by and accept it? When she got violent I would throw cold water on to her to sober her up. What would Littledale prefer I do. Hit her.
I am in love with someone who had a problem. I didnt turn my back on her like everyone told me to. I stood by her and at times it was the hardest thing to do. I was in love and it was unconditional. However I did make one condition.
On the day before she was meant to go to rehab she changed her mind. We had the biggest row ever. If I was selfish I would have just let it be. I didn't. I spent the whole day organising and sorting her things out with her friends. When she left I cried, but i got to see her at Harvey House. Everyday I went in and saw her, even on a day I couldn't. She was sober everyday and we made plans for her to go to Uni.
When she finally went to Littledale I received no communication for 3 weeks. Everyone else got letters except me. Why? Well according to my partner (i still have the letter and it angers me everytime I read it) Littledale had told her she was to write me one letter to tell me it was over. WHY? What gave them the right to make a snap judgement on me without so much as a conversation.
The fact that Littledale has done this and many other thing made me create this blog.
Whoever wishes to write their experiences may do so.
"peers 2010" I am sorry but they win. I am a strong headed but when it comes to my partner I am weak. She has chosen to make this decision and regardless of how I feel so long as she is fit and healthy then that is all I wanted. I would rather her be safe than end up led on a street messed up because of me. I wanted to marry her and I still do, but only if she wants to. I know what Littledale did, she will eventually figure it out herself, but until then I only wish her the best from life.
For everyone else who reads this, rehab is a great idea, dont be put off by my experience not every rehab is like Littledale.
Do you know what I had to go through for her? No
Everyone who knows us knew what she meant to me and what she put me through. Time and time again I was told to give up on her. I didn't. She may not remember things because no one was there to remind her of what I did for her. The biggest joke in all this is I made her go there. I actually argued and threatened to end our relationship so she would go to rehab. If she had called my bluff I would have tried something else, but my only aim was to build a life with her.
I know I treated her well and everyone said I treated her like a queen. For the love she showed me she deserved everything the world has to offer. I will give up everything I have just for her.
The anger I feel towards Littledale subsided when I knew she was getting better, it was the only thing keeping me going, but when I was told how they portrayed me to her how am i meant to keep a level head. Being caring and protective gets changed to controlling and abusive.
I ask littledale staff on here now. Would they let someone down bottles of vodka or try to stop them and wean them off.
If a person they loved was a danger to them self would they remove the danger or let them get hurt and say i told you so.
People told me to let her learn for herself, but instead she didnt. The next day she would have no idea what had happen.
I called it the Groundhog day effect.
What would you do in my shoes? love her or leave her? I chose to love her and I still do.
I cannot begin to tell you how difficult this has been. I made her promises and I kept all of them. She told me to start my own business on the last day I saw her. I have done it. We now employ 9 people. I haven't had a day off so I could spend weeks with her when she comes home. I turned my back on all my friends and stayed away from everyone who could possibly cause her issues so that she had a safe environment with no temptation or stress. I sent her presents for birthdays, christmas and valentines day (which apparently she has not got). Kids keep asking me when she is coming home especially my daughter who is really fond of her. She wouldn't go on holiday with out her because she wanted her to go on all the rides with us just like in Blackpool.
I was told to give up on her time and time again even by Littledale. When things got too much my friends reminded me who I was doing it all for. They told me to forget the bad and only focus on the good. I did just that. I look through all our pictures together and the one thing common in all of them is we are always smiling and laughing. I lost my smile till I meat her. she made me happy and I want to do the same for her.
I blame Littledale for what they did. I blame myself for not being able to help her more than I tried.
there is a saying "diamond in the rough". Thats what she was. I saw through all the bad that surrounded her. No one else cared. I had no one to turn to for help about her problem. From the first time that she held me and stroked my arm I felt affection. Her emotions shattered me and made me feel again. There was a side to me that I had locked away for so long and she made me open up. when she was there i could sleep easy without her i am lost. for the last 6 months people have nicknamed me Lostboy. I am incomplete and she is the missing piece of me.
Yes you are right i don't drink, i did participate with her but it no longer interest me. I am a workaholic now. I spend all my time building our future .
I would like to thank you, for your message. I hope one day we could meet under different circumstances and maybe you will be able to talk to people and listen to her shenanigans. She isnt just missed by me she has some really good friends that also got the bad end of her drunkenness too.
You mentioned "hope", I prayed and hoped for the last 8 months that she would succeed and I risked my life just to get the blessings of another person for her to get well. when she stopped writing I "hoped" that it was a nightmare and i would wake up from it. She is my hope that love is real.
I know you have a positive look at Littledale, but the pain that this caused me is still raw. May be in time I will forgive them. Right now I cant. there are thing that were said and done that can only be resolved by her. Closure is hard to acheive without answers.
q: when did you leave and how well did you know her
did you even try to help your Ex?
I'm sorry if I sounded a bit horrible with my question. You never said much about you Ex. Why did he not go to rehab too?
Do you not think that what you learnt in rehab could have also helped him? I am not questioning your judgement or your actions.
It seems that with what you say everyone on here is right. You also ended a relationship base on distancing yourself from temptation.
Was trying to help your Ex not an option?
Did your ex want you to get help and go into rehab?
Forgive me if I am overstepping the mark here. You must remember I question Littledales techniques of locking people away from society and saying you are cured.
As everyone has said here they are in a bubble till they come out and things change. I dont want her to be on her own if that happens.
I am so sorry for what I said. I think you have made the right step because of your situation. funny thing you mentioned was that Littledale told you he didnt love you to do what he did... they said the same about me pouring her vodka away.. they called it domestic abuse. I got that info from one of "peers 2010" freinds. I admit freely what I did and if in the same situation many people said they would have done the same. I am good at business development. I was not a drink or drug specialist. I was strong willed so if i didnt want to do something i would say no. she couldnt do that. I worked too much to keep an eye on her. her friends tried to protect her but this got twisted in to spying on her.
She didnt realise whilst she was drunk how things were. I loved her and wanted to marry her that is why I made her go.
When she was at littledale I wanted to send her the engagement ring i had bought but had SUE tell me not to bother. Sue told me not to do a number of things. I also know they kept her laptop and told her I hadnt sent it. they gave it her 2 months later. Everything she asked for they told me not to send it.
You tell me? was littledale in the wrong
check your message inbox
Doing something different- How dare you insult someone just because you cannot read or understand the shorthand. It doesn't mean they are off their heads. I know you are Littledale staff. Your are that stupid You insult some one who defended your establishment by trying to tarnish them. Just to recap . They have a job and a life.
Peer who was in trouble- Now you can see first hand how Littledale stamp on people. Make them look really bad and make themselves look like they are your family and that only they can be trusted. Ask yourself, what did you do wrong? Give someone hope.Please stay out of my argument with Littledale. You do not deserve any stress as you have a hard test in front of you . Good luck and I hope you succeed in keeping your demons at bay.
I think I understood that clearly "doing something different" did you. Peer you didnt deserve that at all and I apologise for you getting involved. Why they vebally attacked you like that is beyond me. I thought that you were pro Littledale (even now).
This was my exact point about littledale. The assumption that We are idiots and they can treat you like they want.
Independant thinker my left butt cheek. Your independent evaluation is about the idea of rehab. If you had read any of the posts in her you will see that the argument is the way the staff make decision and influence the residence into an natural train of thought . It is clear that Littledale keep people away from society to build up their strength and then release people with the hope they wont do it again.
Most people still abstain but with out side help.
I believe that the length of stay is to gain finance not the well being of the patient.
Clearly demonstrated by Littledale staff is their contempt for people who succeed after they tell them they will fail.
If one is to be judge should one have the opportunity to defend ones self. I dont think they (littldale) had the right motive
I think I would like to thank everyone who has contributed. It has shed light on the inner workings of Littledale. Their so called "sane" outburst insulting people who's positive statement reflected a direction my partner was taking only proved Littledale has an agenda for itself and not for its users. I am confident over time when Littledale has no grip on her my partner will see what is the truth and not Littledales distorted view. Worse mistake you made Littledale is tell her I didn't really love her. When she see's her friends again and finds out what you have kept away from her she will make her own mind up. I am going to let her decide for herself. I will wait for her as long as it takes because I do love her more than you know.
As for doing what you do...9 months and i have help 4 people change their lives for the better and employed 9 people so ### you and you self righteous crap. You tried to use your ex residents to come on here and say something and to what avail. They backed this blog instead. What does that tell everyone. I have made my point and others have made theirs. I have heard people agree with rehab but not with Littledale personal involvement. You are insane to think people wont push back when you push them too far. Another point failing does not go hand in hand with leaving littledale.
It is up to the individual to say no and to police themselves and not blame others for their own choices. I realised I blamed Littledale for my partners choice not anymore. I blame Littledale for "trying" ruin a great part of my life and causing me mental anguish from the day you demanded she end our relationship. when she realises it (and she will) i will show you what the consequence's will be.
I have had enough. The only thing I wanted was to be happy with her and her to be sober. I only tried to protect her. I worked as hard as I can to provide everything for a safe environment for her return.
Littledale lied to me. Caused a row between me and her mother. How did that help?
Littledale kept her mail. How did that help?
Littledale have not given her her friends mail. How did that help?
Littledale kept us apart for 9 months. How did that help?
Littledale told my partner that i dont love her. HOW DID THAT HELP?
Littledale told her me pouring her drink away was abuse. HOW DID THAT HELP?
Littledale without knowing the facts said i was a control freak. HOW DID THAT HELP?
I know what has been said in there to her. I also know what I have done out here.
I know it is only a matter of time and I will be reunited with her.
I have done a lot over the last 9 months that will make her proud of me and I am proud of her.
So all this tricks to make me angry, you keep them.
Peer2010: Thanks for the email and sorry if you get any grief.
independent thinker: Yes you have said it right.
I speak for myself. In which case I use the term I or me. I refer to the important person "my partner" 15 times which by the direction of your statement mean that "I" hold "her" more important than my self.
You really do disgust me in the way you manipulate people. Is this an example of Littledale playing mind games. Is this how you confuse you're residents into believing what you want them to believe.
I also mentioned "help", "how" and "proud".
But lets play your word game. I mentioned one w0rds 14 times in 16 lines and you make a big deal about it.
But in your 2 lines of text you double my ratio and use "I" twice as much. what ever you were trying to point out you are "twice as bad at it".
The mind games that you play wont work out here. Eyes wide open
Mr Very Right are you sober and off drugs? If so why are you on this website? By your reckoning your a alcoholic druggy or are you just a "chancer". The thing with the internet is that all you have to do is make something visible on places like "Wired" or other Rehab forums. and the rest is just a snowball effect. I haven't made it as visible as I can do. Imagine with such little exposure all these people have had their say wait and see what happens when I find out the truth form my partner and when she finds out what Littledale did. It will be her choice to forgive you or not.
As for Graham I dont know him and have never spoken to him so I have no idea about him at all.
I only know how they treated me. I have nothing to do with him.
I think Littledale need to look at themselves because all I see here is a people being looked down on.
My dad said never look down on someone unless you are going to help them up and I have always believed in that. Think you should should take my philosophy and use it.
If I were you take her hand and give her everything she needs to stay focused on what she has achieved. Their support is less important than you. It is clear that she wants to be with you and that is all that matters. If you need financial help message me your details and I will help you. At least I can stop them ruining your lives.
@stacysolic You again made the assumption that these people are miss using substances. I have met two of them and they are hard working individuals. They are not seeking to blame Littledale for anything accept overstepping their boundaries of control. Controlling an environment where they lived to get well is in my opinion acceptable. To break there emotional ties with loved ones should be their own choice not that of Littledales.
My partner loved her dog and they removed the dog from a loving environment and placed it with strangers. Her friends were left distraught thinking they had let her down when all along she had no say in the matter. You can tell Littledale I intend to find our dog and get her back once once my partner has left Littledale. They think they could just give her away and that she would be forgotten. Never.
There is no assassination of Littledales reputation going on here. The unfortunate thing is that when someone came on here to defend them some idiot from Littledale insulted them. (doing something different)
I am in love with a girl who had a problem. I looked past that problem and saw someone really special. I tried my hardest to help but in my own way was unprepared for what was needed. I couldn't provide 24 hour policing of her environment which is all that littledale hall is and I am not a trained councillor.
Me and her mother tried and failed, actually I failed to move her away from where she lived, but she always found somewhere away from our home to drink. So in my opinion it was her that need to change "NOT THE ENVIROMENT" .
She may have changed.. I dont know.. Why?... Because littledale wont let her speak to me?
I already know about the cryptic way that you break ties by making people think it is there choice and the way that you use neuro linguistic programming.
Take stacysolic: the NLP is clear in the written text. I am surprised that no one real (besides staff) has really defended Littledale, without messaging real stories about them. I have a nice little file building up for everyone to read.
Oh and stacysolic I started this thread, I am not an alcoholic. All facts are stated here as facts and proof is available. If Littledale feel it makes them look bad then if the shoe fits wear it.
Littledale staff Clearly called me a control freak for doing what they get paid to do.
4yearsclean: Read the whole thing then make your comment. You will notice everyone who has posted remains clean and dry. Well done for your successful recovery. I hope you made your family proud. My issue is nothing to do with relapse or anything of the sort. I am not a user of Littledale, so your comment has no effect to this thread at all.
Regardless of what has gone on I know my partners mum will protect her daughter to her last. She will stand by her even when she is in the wrong which is something I admired about her. Don't get me wrong, she will tell her off but on her own. If she has had a head to head with Sue then it will be in her daughters interest.
The recorded letter was sent by my partners friend. She had sent 4 letters to her and her mum had told her she hasn't received any of them. Guess the cant lie about a recorded letter. I wonder what excuse they have for that.
My partner asked me something similar and i phoned Littledale up and asked Sue, she told me to ignore her as it would make her loose focus on what she is in there for. I still wrote an 8 page letter tell her about everything, but she never got it. instead i got a letter asking why i hadn't wrote. I wrote to her 4 times a week. At least I know Littledale kept them from her.
If you do leave Littledale I suggest you put you Facebook wall onto private and friends only as Littledale have people who read through your profiles and use that information.
How do you react to something like this? When I read your "PROFESSIONAL OPINION" I will admit I actually hated myself. For the first time ever I actually wondered if things would be different if I wasn't asian. I wanted to be someone else so that she didn't hate me and I still had a chance to be with her. But no matter what I look like on the outside I will still be me on the inside. I didn't look at what she was on the outside only what she had in her heart. Again it is something she taught me and I know damn well you have not spoken for her. OIL AND WATER ... YOUR KIND... LIKES OF ME. That the sort of racist ### I put up with when I was a little kid.
If you wanted to get at me and hurt me you have done it.
If you wanted to anger me you have done it.
When she leaves I wont try to contact her that will be her choice, but there is not a slightest chance in this world that I will ignore her.
I wasn't born yesterday and I can tell when I see a desperate attempt to make me react.
Yes shell2009 its not the first tie someone from Littledale called me a chancer and yes I know the rules about relationships in there.
Sorry Littledale but you have played the wrong card with me there.
Do you know what I really am angry about. How you drag her into the office saying she has broken rules when other who have Littledale clearly flaunt images all over of people who are still in treatment. You seem to be more interested in caging her in then in stopping other do what they want. I supposes its because they are the right colour for your approval. And by the way she ain't used her facebook account since she has been in there. You know it, her friend request were accepted from a long time ago. Her messages remain unopen for the last 9 months and she has messages from friends from when she was only 10 on there. Guess you tell her to get rid of the past is your idea of treatment. Well in my opinion you end up making a problem for the future.
Dont try and hint at my race not being good enough again, I am human and "MY KIND" have feelings. Me and her are not "OIL AND WATER" we were more like "Chalk and Cheese"
You are really trying to wind me up.
She has a great family and some very good friends who all miss her. What makes you say we never put her needs first.
What me and her felt was real, I know it is still real in me and will always remain there.
If she is laughing at me then I will be the jester if it makes her smile. She made me smile and I will never forget it.
If you expect me to bite you can forget it.
So you are staff.
I hold my hands up ... I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM NOT AN EXPERT . I TRIED AND I FAIL AND YES I FEEL LIKE I LET HER DOWN. I dont need you to be righteous and tell me I let her down. I have many regrets about how I went about things and if I could turn back time I would, but dont ever say I never loved her because even now she is more to me than I ever realised. If she didn't love me then why did it take you 5 months to drum that out of her. Why did you block me from seeing her, and stop her from getting the letters from me. If I was the problem why have a go at her friends. They haven't done anything wrong to her. As for the dog, she was looked after really well, Me and her mate felt like ### when we found out she had got rid of her. You made us believe she had done it out of choice and I recently found out you made her do it. If she chooses to take her dog back will you let her? Or is that another tie that you broke to keep her in treatment.
I am not perfect and I made mistakes, but loving her was not one of them. I wont stop because I cant. She may have done but I can only hope she hasn't.
Hold on you dick, . She looked after that dog better than anyone. Yes I agree she made mistakes but that dog came first and we made sure that dog was well looked after when she was in there because if it wasn't she would have left.
Now I know your a chatting ###, She never asked me for anything. She was never materialistic at all and never wanted money off me. She used to get mad at how I wasted my money but never for herself she wanted me spend more time with her and the kids.
Who ever you are you have no idea who she really is. Our relationship may have been a bit messed up but she never lied about how she felt. she couldn't have. I never felt like how she made me feel. If that was a lie then I have no idea what life is all about.
Her mother may not like me, I probably deserve it after the way i spoke to her. I hold my hand up, but her mother never raised her daughter up like that. If she decided she wanted to be with me her mother wouldn't stand in her way.
Your right she hasn't lost any loved ones. I will be here waiting. It is me who has lost out.
I started this because I thought that I was being treated unfairly. I was.
I made it quite clear from the start that I had no idea how to help my partner stop drinking and some of the things I did were wrong. I know i shouldn't have poured her vodka away or hide her bank card so that she didn't waste her money on beer.
I have always been told that its not the act but the intention that is important.
I acted wrong, but my actions were to help her.
You want me lose a really important part of my life.
The only thing I wanted was for us to have a happy family together. Her going to Littledale was meant to be a step in that direction. I was meant to start our business while she was in there and when she left she would go to University and finish the course she had left.
Can you tell me what I was doing that was so wrong.
How have you turned love into hate?
I have had no chance to explain how I feel at all, even now that she has left you keep her under wraps so that she is unable to speak freely with her friends.
Sue your "professional opinion" you can keep to yourself. Lets face it that is who you are. You gave it away that you were a key worker when you mentioned one on ones and the women solidarity thing that women should stick together (female).
So now I know who and what sort of people I really am dealing with.
First of all Sue as her key worker you should never have blamed her mum for stopping me seeing K. that caused a fight. Not very professional
You kept on telling me what i should and shouldn't mention to her in letters and told me not to do what k asked me to. I also like the way you kept her laptop and told me that she wouldn't get it for a while yet you told her I hadn't sent it. I have the letter from her telling me I may a swell not send it now. 4 weeks after you had already signed for it. and then you wipe it. Deleting all her programs Why?
She asked for a mountain bike which gets sent and you keep that too. Have you give it to her now?
I don't expect you to understand how I feel, I don't expect you to care as I don't pay you to.
I know that all you are is a business and there are many people who I have given a platform to speak from.
When i see K i will apologise if she felt I had done her any wrong. I will explain that i may have been in the wrong with how I went about things. But I will ask her to look into her heart and tell me if she honestly believes that I did it thinking I was wrong. Or did i do it because I simply was in love with her
it took you 9 months of keeping us apart. If you are that confident we were never in love let me speak to her face to face for 15 mins. In that short amount of time I will know what is what. If she feels like I was in the wrong I want to know for myself. I accept people can change but you cannot change the thing that is inside you. You can adapt to others needs but you still want what you want.
I am sure that what I did was for her benefit and people close to her can vouch for it. I am not perfect but I have a good heart. You call me controlling, I suggest that you take a look at yourselves and tell me what you did that was so different.
You kept her away from people. I trusted her to make her own mind up but when that trust was broken I intervened.
You kept her money. I made sure she always had money.
You only let her write to who you allowed. I let her speak to people who didn't give her spirits.
You fed her. I tried to feed her.
You locked her away from society. I kept her in society
You got paid . I did it for love
When you stop being paid you will forget about her. I will still be here.
You had it easy with all your help. I had it hard because there was only me and her mum.
Harvey house did her detox and I was there every day even when she told the wanderer she didn't want to go Littledale I spoke to her and promised I would wait for her.
I have kept every promise I made her and I will still be here waiting till "she decides".
I dont think she lied to me or her friends like you made out and I dont believe she has someone else and i certainly dont believe she used me.
I hope she reads this and realises what you all have been doing.
I hope everyone reads this and goes to a better rehab, one that cares for their residents interest and not their own.
I know that you have corrupted her mind so i think you need reminding what is important.
► Its not the colour of your skin but the color of your character;
► Its not the language that you speak but the words that you use;
► Its not where you live but how you live;
► Its not how much you earn but what you do to earn it;
► Its not where you are but how you got there;
► Its not that you are a human being but the kind of human being you are.
You may disagree to my beliefs but I dont think many other will.
Who deserves what in life? You are dealt cards and you do the best you can with them. I dont expect her to come running because I am not that special, I am not a good looking hunk, I haven't got the best lifestyle in the world because I work damn hard. I dont live in an affluent area of wealthy people. Why would she run to me.
What i do have is the hop that she knows no matter what happens I will always put her first and I will never let her down again. Most of all that it will not be a gamble, it will be a sure thing. She thinks her views have change since she has been sober. Well why not take a look and see if she really remembers me in the right light.
Thanks for the support. Its good to know I am not the only one who feels this is wrong. I refuse to respond to proffesional opinions thoughts as I believe its their way of making me react. I dont care who you say she is seeing and I dont care for your sly digs and put downs. I am not perfect, far from it but I am a good person person who is done his best to help some one he loves dearly. may not have been good enough but to try and kill my heart you should take a look at your high and mighty selves.
I want to hear it from her, but you wont let her because your house of cards will come tumbling down
Now you are lying. I have never ever been violent to her. When ever she was out of control I used cold water to calm her down, ask anyone. If I had not tried to stop her she would never have got to Littledale. To clear another point you made, Littledale would let her ring me and originally tried to stop me from speaking to her in any way shape of form. Yet here you are saying you don't do that. Even her friends have been threatened with the police by staff. You just don't want her to know the truth.
You called her a user, made her out to be materialistic, said she was seeing someone else. All lies.
She isnt free to do what she wants, only to do what you say she can.
I would love to find out who it is. Who ever it is has manipulated my partner. It took them 5 months to break her into ending out relationship. By reading The comments on here I believe their biggest concern was that I wasn't the right colour. Although at first I didn't see it, its clear in the words used by proffesional opinion.
If this is how the describe me, I would hate how they twisted me in her mind. Her close friends are not allowed to contact her. Her mother informed her friend that she had not received any letters from her yet she had sent 4. Only when she had sent one recorded delivery did she receive it.
My honest opinion is that its not about her any more. They know if she communicates with anyone form Burnley she will become aware of how much they have lied to her. The opinion she has is completely wrong.
Passionate worker : You don't know me. However be aware that I tried to stop my partner drinking. I made her go to her AA meetings and when she missed thats why we would row. I poured her spirits away and gave her beer instead (weaker). I tried to make her eat and paid off her debts. I work, own my own homes (no mortgages) and as my partner wanted I own my own company and employ 16 people now. I didnt know how to deal with the situation but I learned and along the way I adjusted to help her go to rehab. I don't drink or do anything that could put her at risk anymore. I planned to move from the street we lived on so that she would be in a safe environment. I dont think I could do anything else.
To give you a true idea of Proffesional opinions cowardice. This is the message sent to me privately. If you can post the name in a message then you wont mind it being put on here then will you? I admit it I am now more curious to find out if its true or is this part of this evil thing you do. Try to make me believe that the girl I love is nothing more than a cheat.
Professional-Opinion
11 days ago
Why you still persistent? You are nothing more than tooth ache that needs to extracted. She has a new interest in her life and you are not it. Ask her who lyndyn is? She may not want to upset you but if you ask her in your persuasive way she may tell you. Be prepare to find out how worthless you are to her. People who love each other don't mess around do they. I am sure that you wouldn't have done what she has done to you. I actually feel pity for you. Come back when your a bit wiser and older, we been in this game a lot longer than you have.
turtleglove, baldyman, mr very right, doing something different, professional opinion, bewareoffakers you all have ridiculed, insulted and disrespected myself and others who have commented on here.
Charmingbetty I thank you and others for pointing out clearly the intentions of these people.
For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. I think its time I sat back and waited.
My mistake is that I allowed you to provoke me and let you make me feel like I was not worthy of being loved.
I can promise that I have no intentions of changing her mind. I will let her see for herself how much I truely loved her and IF such a thing really exist I know in my heart that we will be together again. Everything that I ever did was for her protection and for her benefit (thank you for seeing that Rebecca) if I am wrong for doing what I did i will gladly accept the punishment.
I notice that you have yet to say my actions were wrong on here. Why?
Because you know that many people in my situation would (and have) done what I did to protect their loved ones.
I am Superman I am Romeo and I am mortal.
Kiss my rebel ### if you think you will ever make me feel bad again
AJ
You know I wont do anything that would upset or hurt her progress and although you deserve it I wont risk her being affected by this. I hope you are sincere and I am sorry to everyone for backing down. Please understand she means more to me than getting back at them. I hope they learned a lesson of not judging a book by its cover.
I dont believe I am going to say this but with power come great responsibility. I think you shouldn't judge everyone the same.
Pro op sent me a message. I cant post it on here but I have sent it to some of you so you can understand my position.
I still don't trust Littledale and I don't think they expected "my kind" to give a damn.
I still have to wait. I am hoping the damage they have done is reversible without causing her problems.
icantbelieveit: Please tell your friend to stay strong and DO NOT give up on her. Tells him not to listen to what they say only what she tells him.
Yes that was me in the "big brother house". They made her give up the dog baileys and I know that was never by her choice. I know her well enough to know she wouldn't do it unless she had been convinced it was her only option and I bet even now she will be thinking of her, I know I do.
Makes me think that if they could make her do that what else they could make her do and make her believe it was really her choice (not)?
I dont regret telling her to go because I feel I did what I said was for or benefit. If I could turn back time I still think I made the right decision for her, not the best one knowing what Littledale is like.
Thing is she wont know what has been going on out here and when she does I will let "her" decide what "she" wants to do.
I still love her and will wait as long as it takes.
Sorry, I dont want to let anyone on here down. I have not given up, nor do I intend to.
I will admit I am in a very horrible place at this moment. I have realised that Littledale will not risk being exposed for what they are and that there is nothing I can do about it without causing her stress. I am sorry but she is my priority and always has been. I am putting my trust in what I think is the truth. I have faith that she loved me before she went into Littledale. She loved me for 5 months whilst under their influence and it took them 5 months to eliminate me from her thoughts.
A friend of mine spoke to her and she told him she would get into trouble for talking to them. Even now they wont give her the freedom to make her own mind up. I cant change what they have done, but I am still going to keep my promise.
@shackattack thanks for the message it helps, but it is a very painful experience. I have to wake up everyday wondering and thinking and I have no answers.
Thanks but no thanks, I would prefer her to work this out herself. What ever she has been told about me in there seems to be focused around every possible negative in our life. I cant change that and to be honest I have only regrets about certain things. The idea of her going to rehab was so that we could have a better life and get out of the rut of her waking drinking and all the arguments that ensued. She was not to blame, it was the drink, but when she was sober life with her was the best. Thats what I wanted and thats what I will wait for.
I know she will remember and she will realise everything I did was for her and yes me too.
I do appreciate you confirming K is not with someone.
Thank you but I don't want you to get into trouble. I know how they work and what would happen if you were found out.
Thank you again for confirming that Pro Op lied
Never spoke to anybody about anything. I was completely shunned. Never asked anything considering I was with her for 3 years you would think they would have. I did email Keith and told him everything about my past. After reading Professional opinions comment its quite obvious why.
I have read your message and I don't know the man you refer to but i suspected the women you mentioned.
I know how I feel about not being able to speak to her or getting answers. I know here better than Littledale, her heart is way too emotional for them to suppress. I loved her for it and always will. some people are one in a million, she is completely unique. She is the one that is why I will wait for her.
Love is something Littledale have NO idea about.
I haven't realised anything, I am still waiting. Was not ignoring you people, I am sorry if it seemed that way.
I am not embarrassed about how I feel or of my situation. I still love her and as I have said many times that will not change.
One more thing what old ways are you referring to and to my knowledge I have never have been off the rails and by off the rails it seems that you have insinuated I had some sort of issue. I have no issues and the only holic I suffer from is work.
I dont know what she wants, and if I ever see her I will show her you private message. I know when someone is trying to make me snap. It is not going to happen.
@MrPTotal answer is yes I am real although Littledale would have wished I wasn't. Be prepared for everything your mate has done to help to be twisted into something nasty.
@in group: No thank you - If she wants to speak to me it will be on her terms. Please dont discuss me and her. I would like her to choose off her own back.
Strange though it may seem to people following this but I am at peace with myself.
Wondering if I was right or wrong in my action led me to a dark place in my life.
Littledale did exactly what I believed they did and now I have clarity my self doubt has gone.
I don't believe that you fail because you didn't try hard enough, I believe you underestimate the effort required to overcome the obstruction ahead of you. assess, re-evaluate and try try try again. Giving up is failing.
Littledale make people quit drinking, that is not true people do that because they want to and do that on their own.
Littledale put people on the right track, I may agree to that, but who decides what track to go on. It seems that Littledale's end of treatment choices are do what we say or your on your own.
Also looks like Littledale has some serious flaws in its claim to being the best.
Some one mentioned the awards and yes I checked it all out. Littledale is a school as well as a rehab. their award was for offering learning opportunities.
My research into other rehabilitation techniques and services have concluded one thing.
If you want to quit you will do it. After 3 months of seclusion, you should face the world and see what happens. if your not strong enough then seek support.
Easiest way to learn to swim is to jump in the pool.
I seriously think the government should look into spending more on outcare workers than places like this.
Hi There,
I really feel for you chuck, but you stick in there. I am an ex-patient of LDHC Littledale hall left in 2009 and I had them batter my brain for ages making me think all sorts. They kept on about moving on with my life and making changes. kept on telling me I was a confident woman and need to take charge. They wont admit they push you but they do. I ended my relationship with my guy. It nearly destroyed him. I thought it were for the best and that i needed a fresh start. the make it sound so wonderful and you believe everything is rosy. Then you get reality check and they disappear.She will regret it like I did. When I came out and the funding stopped the care stopped and I was ignored. I felt suicidal and I only made one call he came back to me I was lucky If you love her then keep it up. Do not stop writing to her they have to give them to her.
How long she been in there for?
No point in speaking to staff. Nardone is nice and helpful and this isn't aimed at everyone but the whole programme is a money making scam. They want you to stay for as long as possible.I missed my boyfriend in the first few weeks and the wouldn't let me see him. Eventually they tuned me out and every time I felt down about him they distracted me. If she does love you she will get in touch when she gets out. I hate Little-dale hall. I came out even worse than when i went in. Karl helped me kick the problems I had not Little-dale. And i know 2 other girls from there who will tell you exactly the same thing. It is meant to be a place to rebuild your life but they don't care about people they don't get paid for.
I hope you will be ok pal bear with it and just stick by your girl.
Karl and Shelly
I HATE LITTLEDALE.
I just left there. I feel I have wasted my time. Its not right and its not clever. I watched them pressure people into following the regime and the think its rehab and as a peer I did it to. They pretend its all good and the analysing my relationship. Its twaddle [censored]e. I can say my fella was proper mustard. He didnt do anything wrong to me and by the time the finished i though everything was his fault. The said may be its time to move on and start afresh. They wont tell you to do it they just suggest a course of action. my mind was not right and i can see that now. I sent a letter they helped me draft and I also get told to say I am a confident woman.
If you are positive that you have done nothing violent towards your partner or anything destructive, I would keep writing.
My letters stopped and my head went to bits. They said I needed to stay on for another three months but i was refused funding. Littledale discarded me like trash. I no longer got support or help from them and the whole balloon that they created crashed. I found myself in the real world and the thing they taught me meant nothing. They worked in the ideal community in Littledale but outside it became a problem.
I started looking for negativity where there was none. I walked pass my ex boyfriend and cracked up I tried to ring for support and ignored.
I have got back with my boyfriend and have been happy for the last three months. He helped me overcome my issues because I trusted him.
I advise you get your girlfriend out of there as soon as possible. I have gone through the exact same thing. They may tell you that they are looking after your partners interest but they are only looking out for themselves.
Did Littledale help me? No they made things worse. When I came out I was alienated by my mother, father and brother. My boyfriend got trolled because they indirectly told me to. He was knocked for six.
I watched them do this to a number of people yet i kept my mouth shut because i never wanted to be kicked out.
STAY AWAY FROM LITTLEDALE HALL REHAB> IT IS JUST A HOLIDAY CAMP>
Yes it was Sue. she seemed really nice but is one manipulative human being. I promise that on Karls life you should not give up. She made out that she was all nicey nicey but she was horrid to my guy. She used to read my letters and add her own spin on them whilst she was reading them made me see other things in them that weren't there. I was in there for 5 1/2 months. I never got to see him an when i asked they would side track the issuie
I agree that you should get her out.
Going off experience she is best off out and live life properly.
I have seen this ### first hand. The guys in that place are sheep. When they leave they are getting slaughtered. I kept in touch with 5 other members and they are all back on it. I have to but i have opted for a home detox and rehab.
The place is a great place to relax and do nothing. They keep you busy running the place so they don't have to. I thought I had achieved some thing in there but I got out and they said i was ready to reintegrate with society.
Never really spoke to Keith. Is that Graham still there? He is a pervert you should hear his comments about what he gets offered by female patients. I think he loved hanging with the girls for his own gratification.
Its a really bad idea going to Littledale. I am glad someone finally had the balls to speak out. If I knew how to I would make a website and tell everyone about my experience there.
I never had Sue as a key worker but I heard she was two faced.
If you want to quit do it at home because that real life, Not this fake ### environment that they put you into. I came out and was hit hard. I had no safety net and had lost all my friends. some of which were really great mates.
I don't know why the first person has sat back. If you love her go in and get her before the fully brainwash her. Yes brainwash mate that all it is. The letter thing is true to pal. they keep your letters and don't send them until they feel like it. it causes loads of stress ad then you head is all over the place. My noggin was trumped up mate. If i hadn't kept ties with my bro I would have killed myself when I got out. You need to get hold of a few more of us and get that place shut down. They want you to keep in there for three month periods. I am sorry to tell you this but you girl will probably think she is doing the right thing. My mate dawn dumped her fella while in rehab and he topped himself but didn't die. They call it treatment it Brainwashing.
I am going to try and find some of the other lads and get them here too. Stay strong for her lad.
Are you mad? Longer you leave her in there the more damage it will cause. They made me fall out with everyone to. Then when I told Sue she said that the choice was mine to make and with choices there are always consequences. Your partner will be nurtured into forgetting about you in there. They will make her feel like she made a choice and she should stick by it. When she finally realises the mistake she has made (I dont know what your circumstances are) she will go in at the deep end and you will need to be there for her. Its easy for her now. Sue is very very good at making you think you are doing really well. This is fake confidence. The goals they set are easily achievable in there and are set to fall in line with the day your funding is reviewed. I can tell you right now that she has probably been in three months. Or that she has been feeling really homesick. Getting you out of the picture gives her nothing to go back to.
Karl has just told me to say you may be feeling like doing something but dont, you will make things worse between you and her. They will goad you into getting mad and angry. If she loves you she will realise.
I have been at this place for only a short period of time and I am not happy with the way we go about things. I am not allowed to give details as the will figure out who I am. You are not wrong about the way this place works. They make you dependent on your stay here and their support and I have questioned an number of things about the way they push the residents. I have been told that you have to do it to get the numbers right and that in the end its a job and a business. I have seen one of the girls there end her relationship and I could clearly see that she doesn't want to do it. they have made her feel that if she takes back her decision then she is not ready to move on.People here feel like they just want to finish and go home and they put hurdles in front of them. I hate this place and I work here. I cannot mention her name but I think you must be her boyfriend because this has just happened. One of the other students has rang her boy friend up and told him the truth. I feel ashamed and if it does come to it I would give a statement if I can do it anonymously my career depends on my placement here. The statement about Graham has been voiced as a concern already. The place is run like a residential care home for old people not a rehab centre. The people are being taught to conform and nothing more. I am not lying about knowing your girlfriend, she has a dog right! She was feeling bad and was really horrid a few week ago because of what she thought she had to do. Ask her before you get told you cant contact anymore.
If I lose my placement I would like it noted that it was because of my discontent at the treatment of residents in the establishment of Littledale and that I have made my concerns clear. I did so for the safety of the residence and that my record at Littledale has been exemplary up until now. If this changes it will be due my posting this message and this reason alone. I feel it is my job to protect people in my care.
Sorry, I feel really bad but I cant help you. I spoke to the one who rang you and she flipped out. She was trying to do you a favour and now could lose her placement and mine. She said ask her mum and she clearly knows where her daughters head is at. Or ask the bold chap. If you go there Your girl will know who I am. My mate thinks she is sound and a really good laugh. She really missed you.
Sue is a dangerous woman she isn't stupid. Staff will be waiting for you to turn up and then have you arrested. They will say they are protecting the community. You have no chance of speaking to her with out her being of her own free will. They will tell you that its her choice. For god sake I thought it was my own choice. They MAKE YOU THINK IT. Wait till she is out and be there for her. One thing I would love to see. The success rate of the treatment. There are few and far between that I know of. Many people walk out of there too but get told their benefits will be stopped. You will have to support her.
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive
I've just placed three comments under three different people, which I suspect you have done.
Your simply talking to yourself.
my son is in there and he has been talking like a different kid questioned me being his dad. he is my son and there is no question about it yet they are now making him doubt i loved him and tried to make me the reason of his addiction to gear he has left his girlfriend and her kid not his but like his own and she is not allowed to see him to sort it out i did not like my sons choice but i wanted it to be his choice and i do not think it is i could never imagine this appening
Send me a message and I will give you my details mate and you can ring me. I tried to post but it gets deleted by the mods. NO weaving or deceiving here pal speak to my brother he will put you right
Sent you message Tom Pepper cat got your tongue now.I can give you a whole list of things that only i know as a resident knows. I blame you for confusing me about my family.
I can name names but you know that would give you grounds. so I will message you if you send me your email.
You shouldn't have come up here made things a lot worse. Let it drop now
How can you say that. Does he need to give a stupid request sheet in tell him what he can and can not do tell one of the other peers what to say to him and tell him it effects the moral of the others and make him feel like he will fail and be a failiur unless he does what you say but it has to be his choice at you stupid request i know damn well how you work and how you tell people how to live in there and how they live is how they make it easier for you to run you hotel and that is all it is a hotel retreat in the middle of nowhere so when you do feel like going you cant and you give us meds to help. why? why? why? You make us dependent on your ways so we feel better but its a lie we live a lie till we get out then where are you no where to be seen unless you are funded and you leave my brother my sister amy girl to pick up the pieces and thats where it differs. They want to help you ask for money to help and no money and you wouldnt care less with you fancy cars what we pay for your just vulture feeding off our problems pecking away till you cant get anymore off us i watched it go on an on and i admit i fell into your ways and pushed people into doing things that would effect them and people did it to me and you are still doing it. You are a prison that uses the inmates to guard each other you take away what we have on the outside so we dont think about going home and that is how you keepus in we have nothing to go home to well i have messaged all of you and i think it is time this place was exposed and see how many people live normally as a direct result. I know the person on their family comments have been all removed because there is no one any more. Where is your success rate. You dont have one and you know why because they do it them selves. all you ex residents will say your a load of rubbish i did mee did jonnie did you want more.
you let her go and your just as bad as them
I have read the above comments with both shock and dismay..
My experience is of an innovative and progressive strength based programme, expertly delivered by a core team of dedicated professionals. My time at Littledale Hall, has enabled me to reconcile myself with the events of my childhood, re-referencing 'the causes' of my addiction, the impact that that addiction has had on both myself and my family as well as giving me the tools to better manage my thoughts, feelings and behaviour...whilst recognising that I have choices.
Unhappy family, do you recognise the thread of my experience? That I have taken responsibility for myself and my actions...I have Littledale Hall to thank for enabling and empowering me in that, whilst affording me the space to evaluate what is positive in my life and as importantly, what is not!
It sounds like this is what is happening for your (ex) partner...it maybe that you should allow this process to continue for her!
I can assure you that nobody stays resident at Littledale Hall against their will, nor is there some sinister programme to brainwash it's residents, as you and other contributors seem to be implying.
As for 'inlittledale'...your conduct is disgraceful, weak, cowardly, not to mention ill informed, a blatant disregard for Confidentiality, Policy & Procedure and downright Unprofessional...to quote your earlier post, "I feel ashamed and if it does come to it I would give a statement if I can do it anonymously my career depends on my placement here."
The fact you are unwilling to peruse your concerns through the appropriate channels in line with Whistle-blowing Policy or via the Inspectorate is just plain horrifying...the thought of someone of your ilk occupying any position within the care sector, never-mind a professional one, fills me with dread...it clearly demonstrates the lack of legitimacy in your claims and moreover your suitability to occupy a position of such trust...it maybe that you need to you need to question your motives for wishing to work in this field, because I certainly do as should your placing institution and Littledale!
you are staff from Littledale aren't you because I remember the same speech.
How can someone claim to be a resident and say things to a guy who is concerned about his girlfriends actions. I hate the callous way you point out "EX" to guy who is obviously hurting. You even try and say what his partner is thinking. You are bad people.
you are out of picture mate I can tell you are mad but it wont help. Why has her dad mum not got involved or brother/sisters?
If your girl has made wrong decision she will come back to you. you are right love is real and you dont need worry 3 4 5 6 months down the line shwill remember who you were when they stop making her do things to forget.
Ignore them you did good. You should be proud that you gave a guy hope. You should quit because you are too nice for that place. Hand them a request form in for telling them to do the job right.
Bobby mee said you can take his stupid comments off they dont mean ###
You girlfriend did not make the above comment as they have made out. She has no idea of this and it is disgusting that they would bring her up like that. I should have complained and now will. For them to use her to get to you like that is despicable. They think it was funny I dont. Sue and Graham were involved
i employ 3 ex residents and for them it worked, they have created new lives away from the bad influences that got them hooked on drink or drugs in the first place, i only had a good chat to one of them today and he says it was best decision he ever made as most of the people he got away from are still using. as for the funding, the staff i have employed that came out were entitled to the same benefits that anyone else is and they were given all this info from lhtc. all of them are living a normal independant life and have moved on from the life they had and some of its bad influences, They still go home and visit friends and fortunately none of them have relapsed. After care is given and they still pop back up to the hall to visit. Maybe unhappy family is one of those bad influences she needs to get away from ?
I think the people on this site have some faulty thinking going on. Mine was nothing but a positive experience at Littledale. Maybe it's time to look at yourself Unhappy family. How unprofessional all this is. The girl on placement should never work in the care industry again. I felt cared for and respected at Littledale. The staff there are always looking out for residents well being. This is a cheap shot. You people must have made some bad choices and be regretting it.
Unhappy family...I have to say that your initial comments left me with a degree of sympathy...in spite of the fact that I have a very good idea of who you are and the negative influence that you have had on your (ex) partner, having shared some of my treatment time with her...that sympathy however, has now completely evaporated.
Your inane ramblings smack of a control-freak, a control freak, who I might add, has clearly lost his control of his (ex) and quite possibly control of his own mind. I am not qualified to make such a diagnosis although you may well benefit from getting yourself a consultation with someone who can!
With exception of The baldyman - who speaks a good deal of sense...the rest of the contributors on this site would definitely have benefited from completing their treatment and/or accompanying you along for a consultation, maybe you should suggest it?
Feel free to continue keep me abreast of your latest thoughts, as their comedic value are second to none...
What a load of BOLLOCKS! Your comments unhappy family have left me shocked and angry. I have first hand experience of how LHTC works and it is nothing like the ### you talk about on here. Yes this maybe your experience but WHO are you and do you speak for the hudreds of people who have succeeded at Littledale-NO YOU DON'T! Do you understand addiction at all- obviously not or your ex-girlfriend would not of needed rehabilitation- a man with your understanding of how things should work would of helped her all by himself! You have no idea of how hardworking, dedicated and caring the staff are at Littledale, believe me that it is the reward of seeing people leave strong, independant and abstinent that drives them to do an excellent job. I believe myself to be of sane mind and VERY clued up about life and how it should/does work and would not be involved somewhere where alledged "brainwashing" goes on.
Mr Very Right...Nice One, someone else who is talking sense
turtleglove...Another Nice One, someone else with a true understanding of the life saving/changing work done by both staff & residents of LHTC.
The 3 staff that work AWAY from home and AWAY from bad influences are happier now than they were. Maybe your own home and money etc may not be enough to win her back. i have all those things but nothing beats the love of a good woman, something you dont have at the moment. You need to work on the fact that she may be better off without you at the moment and let her make her own mind. Love should always win through so let us know if you win her back or will it take a bigger house etc etc. Oh the staff i employ are in the construction trade and one worked his way up to become a site foreman and dont forget when they left littledale they were free to do and go where they wanted so to move away and cut loose from the people that have not moved on is not a regrettable decision but a life changing one for the better. i am a respected businessman, there must be other reasons you havent seen her?
I am an ex-resident at Littledale Hall Therapeutic Community and would like to provide the following response to the below accusations:
First and foremost I would question the authenticity of each of the persons posting comments above and would challenge each of them to provide details of their time at LHTC. I believe this is an impossibility as all of the accounts have been created by one individual wishing to air grievances against the staff at Littledale. The fact that all posts were created within hours of each other and use language that does not fit within a treatment setting is evidence of their falsehoods. I could list a multitude of contradictions and impossibilities in all of the posts detailed in this report however feel that my time is better spent reviewing my experiences of LHTC.
The strongest evidence of falsehoods are the accounts of people claiming to be ex residents. My experience of Littledale Hall is so far removed from these deluded accounts (created by one calculated individual) that I know in absolute certainty that they are false. The staff are caring, commited individuals who - above all else - allow each resident to make their own life choices. They support and guide the people in their care and have the utmost respect for families and rebuilding relationships.
I have personal experience of their genuine, open and honest approach and have witnessed countless other people being supported in changing their lives and achieving long held ambitions.
Often, as was the case for me, it is the difficulties of family and partner relationships that can have the biggest impact on the recovery process. LHTC provides a structured, open and informed service that explains the theories and models that underpin it's treatment programme and includes residents families in each step of this.
All people in treatment also have a funder who assesses their progress and is completely external to LHTC. It is these people, the funders, who offer official judgment on the centre and ensure it is providing an adequate service. They (the funders) give their clients the choice of rehabilitation centre to attend and only refer to services that meet strict standards set by national governing bodies in social care. As was the case for me, the funder attends the centre regularly to meet with their clients and check in on their progress.
It is the client who will be absolutely honest about their experiences in the centre and would report these to the funder. They would not, in any circumstance, feel the need to use comsumer choice websites that are unregulated and completely unrelated to the field of social care provision to report a complaint about their treatment. Firstly, it would have no bearing on their time in treatment anyway and secondly they have constant access to the official process and can ask to be switched service or go home at any time of their choosing.
I did not need to make any complaints against the staff at LHTC because they are selfless, commited, honest people who care very much for the people who choose to enter into their care.
I would be completely outraged at the false accusations being levied against them below if it weren't for the fact that they are so obviously a creation of one deluded and calculated individual who is unable to accept the truth of his own situation.
If by chance any potential service users have stumbled upon this site from a search engine I would urge you to do your own, independent research into Littledale Hall as a treatment centre. Look into recent inspections, review their involvement in various local and national initiatives and above all else speak to your local CDT or CAT for advice.
My life has been changed unrecognisably by the positive influences and support of LHTC. I trust and value the friendship of each staff member and would have no hesitation in recommending their help to my nearest and dearest should the need ever arise.
It is an amazing place with so much to offer those struggling with dependency and I have first hand knowledge of this. I have seen mums and children reunited, brothers and sisters reconciled after many years and worried parents finally given peace following many years of heartache and chaos.
This is Littledale, not the twisted propaganda listed here. But don't take my word for it, ask around, look at official records - please beware of un-regulated sites such as this and always question the motives of individuals using them. I felt it necessary to post a response in light of the one sided nature of this report but I do not intend to influence the minds of those that choose to read it - only to provide my account of LHTC. For me that is enough.
Told you pal just staff trying to cover up... but they said one thing I will agree with now. You said you love her and you are positive she loves you...Wait and see.
I already gave my name and I gave the names of other and I can prove what I said.
I think that its bad what you guys just did by trying to make out his girl said that about him. If what he is saying is true then you have done wrong by him and you have made it unrepairable.
Read below and see your lies
3 hrs 22 mins ago by The baldyman 0 Votes
i employ 3 ex residents and for them it worked, they have created new lives away from the bad influences that got them hooked on drink or drugs in the first place, i only had a good chat to one of them today and he says it was best decision he ever made as most of the people he got away from are still using. as for the funding, the staff i have employed that came out were entitled to the same benefits that anyone else is and they were given all this info from lhtc. all of them are living a normal independant life and have moved on from the life they had and some of its bad influences, They still go home and visit friends and fortunately none of them have relapsed. After care is given and they still pop back up to the hall to visit. Maybe unhappy family is one of those bad influences she needs to get away from ?
1 hr 28 mins ago by turtleglove 0 Votes
The 3 staff that work AWAY from home and AWAY from bad influences are happier now than they were. Maybe your own home and money etc may not be enough to win her back. i have all those things but nothing beats the love of a good woman, something you dont have at the moment. You need to work on the fact that she may be better off without you at the moment and let her make her own mind. Love should always win through so let us know if you win her back or will it take a bigger house etc etc. Oh the staff i employ are in the construction trade and one worked his way up to become a site foreman and dont forget when they left littledale they were free to do and go where they wanted so to move away and cut loose from the people that have not moved on is not a regrettable decision but a life changing one for the better. i am a respected businessman, there must be other reasons you havent seen her?
no lets get this straight i am turtleglove and i am married to the baldyman, we both have connections to littledale so BOTH wanted to put the record straight about your terrible comments about littledale, we both have first experience of the excellent work done at the hall, you have NO idea what goes on up there! my husband was so frustrated and bemused about your comments about your OWN home business etc etc and how obnoxiuos that made you sound that he didnt realise he was on my profile when commenting, i can give you his business number where he employs 14 staff! and you can ring and speak to him if this would clarify that matter. as for myself i just have one piece of advice and that would be to crawl back up your own ### you pretenscious fool and leave the girl alone.
This is bad, very very bad. I now both him and her and this is totally wrong. She sat with me telling me how much she loved him and he has been upset since the day she went in but has been proud of her progress.
The flit between him and her mum was because he got told by the rehab place that he had been stopped by next of kin (her mother) he has now been told that this WASNT true.
Who ever you are calling him controlling you dont know him at all. He is the most kindest person and has a really big heart and was always for her. If you ask anyone who truly knew what they were like they will tell you he adores her. She put him through the meat grinder but he still stood by her. I saw it first hand.
Do you know why he did it even when everyone told him not to. Because she made him smile. His words not mine. He said she made him feel happy. In return he did everything she asked.
I have just left him and the one thing he is more upset about then the letter he got was the fact he disrespected her mother because of what you told him.
One other point I know no matter what arguments him and her mother had whenever her mother rang him he was always there for her and never turned his back on her at all. Do you know why because she gave him his partner. That in my opinion is the nicest thing any one could say. If my daughter was seeing him I would be thrilled. He is genuine helpful guy. Doesnt care about who he helps, he just does it. People take advantage of him and that is something she protected him from. Ask her and her mother.
You sit on here judging a guy you have no idea about. By the looks of things I can see why he is angry. I have read her first letter to him. Her words clearly state littledale told her to end it with him. That is not choice but manipulation. That was in the first week. What did you do for the rest of the time. Chip away at her feelings slowly.I know and all of her friends know she wont stay without him. If she does its a big mistake and she will soon regret it.
The other thing is that you should admit you lied to him about her mum. I remember the day he found out and he was furious. That argument was littledales fault and only your fault.
Both of them liked each other really, her mum and him. I wish I could bang there heads together because they both only care and love the same girl. They are both worried and both are being protective (not controlling).
More than anything forget Littledale and make sure you two are right for when she gets back.
If your Pakistani i know who you are. I left a bit ago and you with that gas pants. Mate you got nothing to worry about. dont know whats gone on since i left but you were all she give a ### about and her dog billy. she were pissed of at you for arguing with her mam and some other stuff. She went on about dvds and pc you didnt send her and when you were ill. i am out of there and can say its not what they make out. i was detoxed before i went in. I am a bit messed now that i am out and i am trying to adjust because it is a prison in there and like peer said you have to ask for everything and wait. That waiting make you think horrible ### things thoughts become truths and they dont say anything just let your imagination run wild. when you see her say top trump and she will laugh girl has bad wind.I think this is valid complaint. He should have had access to see her to. When she were crying he should have supported her not us.
M x
Mr Unhappy family. She has obviously come to her senses. Gosh get over it...You are a chancer, fly boy and obviously very dull as well. Take your complaint to somewhere where they can assess if it is credible. I think you fear the answer will be that it is not.
I'd learn to spell, before you do anything else !
Can you please inform me Mr Unhappy man as to where my husband or I have been given or disclosed any information as I am unaware of where this has occurred.I have based my comments on the information that you have quoted throughout this forum.
I have the same right as any individual to comment on something that is very dear to me.
You are pulling to pieces for the whole world to see the very place that is helping you ex partner rebuild her life so that she can have a better future.
She is not under arrest, shes not being told what to do or say, she can CHOOSE to leave at any given time.
And all i can say about the people that are making the stupid comments about the goings on at LHTC OBVIOUSLY didnt stay too long in treatment otherwise they would have a better understanding of the philosophy of littledale.
It is a magical, life changing place and should not be under this sort of scrutiny!
Not got much more to say have we, not got as many people agreeing with you as you originally thought have you! Goodnight, god bless sunshine xxxx
I want to complain to. My despair is more about me than you Mr family but I hope you do not mind me writing my own thoughts. I am glad that I can voice my experience in Littledale as I want others to be aware of what can really alter your life. I had problems and they were very bad ones but they were problems that were my fault and I realise that now. At Littledale they delve deep inside your head and find causes that made you the way you are and strip them away giving you grounds to start from a new foundation. I wanted to keep in touch with people who they told me and pressured me into not speaking to. Everytime They wrote me letters they would be censored. Eventually it got too much for me and I left. I walked out and found out that people who I knew had passed away and they had kept this from me. I was devastated and hit the bottle. I was not prepared for this and had none of my friends to support me as I had burned many bridges.
The thing is I met one of my old friends and she reminded me that there is more to life than a bottle. I had to face lifes problems and not hide from them and run away from them like Littledale taught me.
Littledale may work for some people but my experience taught me not to run away and hide and blame others. That is what Littledale teaches you. You yourself are to blame for your own actions and you alone are responsible for the excuses you make as I was for mine. Is Littledale a waste of time. Yes I think it was for me.I am free of alcohol abuse and can drink socially with out worry. I can enjoy my life and not fear it like Littledale made me feel. I built my will power up and took responsibility of my actions without blaming others who cared for me. I have rebuilt my bridges with my friends and I have a steady well paid job. None of this is because of Littledale. I have also rebuilt my relationship with my girlfriend who I left while I entered Littledale. Since reading this post I too believe I was pressured into this, but I wrote the letter thinking I was doing it for her. I am now engaged and will be married next June. My complaint is Littledale allowed the passing of my friend to be classed as unimportant and to this day I hate them for it and it is now a burden that causes me anxiety. I dont agree with Littledale being a Magical Place. It is just a place to hide away from life.
I would be furious if I were you. Dont give up and do what you think is right.
Turtleglove I was resident and I left and I didnt complete and I now live a normal life. Littledale was not the reason I succeeded but was nearly the reason I failed. Other resident drummed it into my head how i would be letting myself down and that my actions would be a step backward. There is more Magic in Paul Daniels show that that controlling false environment.The activities you run to make our time filled up and every time we think of loved ones you change subject. You know what you do I know what you do. Family man is right and you have ruined his life.
Bunch of hard faced no it alls. Dont give a damn about anyone but themselves. I would never have sent my son there had I known what would have happened. He cut ties with his girlfriend and said it was for the best. She was distraught and hurt and angry. She has been there for him all through the bad times and although we never saw eye to eye I can say she loves him. She was stopped from seeing him and because I shouted at him and tried to make him see sense I was stopped to. He left Littledale but she has moved on and he is now a cold shell. He has no feelings or emotions and he doesn't talk about it. When I visited him I could see he was not right and I know that the choice he made was wrong. I voiced my concern and was told he had to take charge of his life. Jo is a really caring girl with no problems and has a full time job and her own house. Why he would have to end it is beyond me. I dont think that Littledale is a rehab at all but a place to forget. I hear him crying all the time and I fear he will turn to drink to stop his pain. He had only child hood issues and his girlfriend was not one of them. From what I can gather Littledale made him believe he would only be able to move forward with out her and she would only halt his progress. They made him question his feelings for her and that he was only using her. How can they have made him think that.He never sent letters and expected them but then letters would arrive in streams. They would be angry letters and questions were left unanswered, He accused her of having affairs and they would not let her speak to prove otherwise. Jo is now trying to fix everything bless her that Littledale ruined.
Mr family wait for her and she will not have made that choice her self Mike says its unreal and pressure all the time.
Right then knobbie, (unhappy family) lets just clear this up for one last time. I am turtleglove and i am a WOMAN, my HUSBAND is baldyman and he is a MAN are you following me up to now! My husband the MAN employs ex residents from Littledale and another well known rehab in lancashire, right so you should be understanding that bit! And me turtleglove the WOMAN has a connection to Littledale Hall you do NOT need to know what connection, are you still following all this or is it getting difficult to understand. At what point in the dialogue have either myself TURTLEGLOVE(woman) or my husband BALDYMAN(man) discussed any persons confidential or personal information AND this is NOT SUE, i believe that she would have more dignity and discretion to be on such a website, and from your comment with regards to the police getting in touch i believe she has gone down the appropriate channels to stop your slanderous claims! And i was really really pleased to hear that you had been spoken to by one of the local constabulary, it made my day, now get on with you sad life...
I know you guys dont know me but if you need my help I will in anyway possiable if that means sending mail making calls ect
I know this place is meant to be really good but it is far from it. You walk in and they are so nice to you and they fill your time up and make you think like they want you to. I missed my home life and wanted to speak to my boyfriend but they made it impossible. When I really missed him they gave me things to do which were like punishments for bringing it up or they would make me feel like I was losing the way and control of my life. I didnt know what to think and I was told I cant have someone like him controlling my life. I ended it and spent my time distracted and upset. They said they would be there for me. They were. They filled my time up with things to keep me busy and made me forget.
That was until I woke up and realised how much I loved him. I told them i had made a mistake and that they had pushed me into doing something I didn't want to do. I was ejected without being able to say bye to any of the friends I made in there. They are a cruel controlling place especially my key worker. My feelings meant nothing to them. Only what they wanted me to feel. When i missed him they said I was just relying on him. No they were wrong I missed him because I loved him.
I thank my DAD not Littledale for helping me when they turned their back on me. Littledale wants you to rely on them not on loved ones or people they choose for you. Who are they to decide. I didn't want to drink anymore that is all. I did that and I should have left and restarted my life put on hold. My Dad made sure my boyfriend waited for me even though it was difficult for him. I left the programme I am fine they said i would fail, well thank you Littledale for trying to make me fail. I can see you are at it again.
I read this after a friend was going to go here. I will recommend you go elsewhere unless you want your relationship ruined. Get a councillor and do it at home instead.