I would like to start by saying I believe therapy and rehabilitation is a good thing and that the concept behind Littledale hall is good.
However I have a major issue with Littledales treatment of relationships. This is a snippet from their website.
"Family and friends may play a vital role in the recovery process. Given this residents are encouraged (when possible and appropriate) to attempt to rebuild or develop positive relationships with family and friends"
It must be pointed out that our relationship was never an issue. All our arguments occurred only when my partner was drunk.
Littledale told my partner to end our relationship and end communications with me the moment that she entered the place. How was this rebuilding our relationship?
When she refused they allowed a compromise that she could only communicate via letter.
I found out that this alone was a complete breach of social care rules.
When I received letters from her they were dated 3 weeks late and were franked on the same day. By this I mean I received 3 letters in one go all franked on the same day yet dated 3 weeks earlier. It was clear that they had been withholding the mail my partner had sent.
Mail that I sent to her was being kept until someone was able to read it to her by Sue Robinson her key worker.
So lets talk about Sue Robinson
Mrs S Robinson. Dip Counselling. BA Hons TOPPS. Over 7 Years experience of working as a counsellor in a Therapeutic Community. CENTRA Groupwork Cert. DANOS Level 3 Health & Social Care (TBC Jan 2008)
This person seem well qualified but when my partner posed questions to me her answers were simply not helpful. I asked her opinion on a number of occasions especially when i had letter clearly stating my partners unrest.
She was quick to make suggestions that would make my partner stay in rehab, but none that would alleviate her discontent. In hindsight I should have never trusted her as this is a business not a family like they claim.
It is my opinion and I can prove Sue Robinson breached protocol and aided in the breakdown of my relationship.
1) she failed to relay on vital information that would stop my partner getting stressed.
2) she disallowed dialogue between me and my partner.
3) she failed to pass on key information to my partner.
4) she convinced me not do thing my partner had requested
5) She interfered in our relationship.
6) she put phone down on me when I requested to speak to Keith Robertson the director. The phone wasnt even answered by her.
Now lets talk about Mr Keith A Robertson
Registered Manager . CCETSW, CSC, IMS, DMS, Cert Ed 1. Advanced Cert Substance misuse. GCT Cert Group Therapy. Over 17 Years experience of working in the substance misuse field. 14 years experience of Managing Therapeutic Communities.
After reading his qualifications I trusted his judgement. His promise to arrange an interview after three months was broken and he had not kept his word. The communications still remained blocked.
I requested to see my partner on her birthday, Eid and My birthday yet all were denied. She wasn't even allowed to call me.
Up until a week ago my letters from my partner were full of questions that I had been advised to ignore and not respond to but consistently they ended with love, missing you, and xxxx.
I then received a disturbing letter telling how emotional and erratic she was feeling (confirmed by a family member)
I called in to Littledale and was shocked to be told this was not the case that she was happy and fine.
I asked about why she was home sick and i was told to ignore her and just talk about stuff that was not going to make her feel bad. I did just that.
A week later I received a dear John letter.
when i called in i was completely shunned by the staff and told if i rang again I would be arrested for harassment.
I contacted Keith Robertson who at first seemed to be helpful but then also shunned my calls.
I have received an anonymous call, from Lancaster telling me that my partner is being lied to, by staff and manipulated into a wrong state of mind. They have got involved into our personal lives and made wrong suggestions that over step the line.
My advise is not to use this rehabilitation facility as it is looking after the Business as oppose to the Patient.
They are currently being investigated for this.
Thank you for your comments.
Shelly who was your treatment key worker. My partners is Sue Robinson. The reason i ask is the the "confident woman" thing that you said is always said by her and was in my last letter from my partner. It seems like you were treated by same person.
Karl, how did you cope and what were they like with you?
If you dont mind me asking did you use any thing and what reason did they give?
Shelly how long were you in for?
Did you get to see him at all?
Thanks for that.
I intend to hold tight because I don't want to interfere in her treatment but with what you lot have said so far it seem Littledale hall is not what it makes out.
Is there a way i can find out it success rate. I think i might get a news paper involved to see if t he can high light it. They may be able to shed light on the success rate.
I am sorry please could you give me more details. Yes my partner has a dog which they are now looking after for her. I received a letter from her feeling homesick and she said she was erratic. I know it is your career but this is my life and i am really worried about her state of mind. They are saying she is making her own choices and knows what she wants. I received an email from Keith saying that he spoke to her and that she was adamant about her decision.
They have put me in a catch 22 if I dont abide by her wishes then I am in the wrong. If i do then I risk letting her down.
Everyone who is reading this is advising me to go get her.
I think if I do and I am wrong then then what happens.
Cant post contact details but I could really do with your help. Been worried about her welfare and if i have been lied to from the start. This situation caused a major rift between me and her mother. I am starting to wonder how much of what sue says is the truth and how much is her adding her two pence. Me and partners mum both were on the same page until I was told she had asked that I not be allowed to communicate with her. (as next of kin)
Can you email me I would like some more details.
I want to say that some people tried to see her but were refused and I have been warned not to communicate or persue this matter.
I have put this to her family now to deal with as I am in no position to do anything.
I will stop writing and will do as she has asked because regardless it was her choice and she made it. I will wait and see how things pan out.
I wont however give up on her.
I am speaking from my experiences only.
I am only aware of how Littledale treated me an how you created the platform to which my relationship suffered. My partner wanted stability and you advised me against giving it to her. My first letter from her was to tell me you had demanded that she end her relationship with me.
Why would you tell a resident to do that on arrival. You had no right to do that and not expect it to have had a negative effect. Dont play innocent. I contacted kieth Robinson and you told me that the next of kin was responsible. Do you know how much trouble you caused by that comment alone.
She wanted answers and you advised not giving them to her.
She was upset.. You wouldn't let me communicate with her.
She was feeling homesick you told me she wasn't
Even her mother told people she was emotional yet you think she was fine. How blind are you.
You withheld her letters for THREE weeks fro the date she wrote them to when i received them. ALL in one go i receive three. all franked on the same day (i still have the envelopes as proof)
If your treatment was as you said why separate us apart and make life difficult.
You created a situation that would ultimately result in the demise of our relationship. I know when we meet that this will change.
You know she was feeling emotional and I called you to ask for advise. YOU lied and said she was fine.
When she though bad things you let her stew. when she wrote me nice things the letters were over week late.
Yes I can clearly see that you wanted her to remain a resident and now you have put me in a catch 22 situation. I am damned if I do something and damned if I don't. My 1st concerns is her. Littledale however will not get away with doing this to someone else.
Don't play the shocked and dismayed. Your business is a care home. You need residents to make money.
I know that I am unable to do anything to rectify my situation but I also know that we love each other very much. Love is not conditional or something that can be switched off. If she was able to make this choice then she will be able to tell me herself face to face without any difficulty. Your manager said she wasn't able to. Her decision was not what she wanted but what she thinks she has to do that is what everyone seems to say you place is all about.
You have now created another situation which will effect my partner in the future.
Sue Robinson kept saying "confident woman" my partner said exactly same thing. She has been taught to say that and made to think like sue. I know my partner better than you think. I can tell in her letters when she is herself and when she is speaking Littledale.
I have read your resident comment highlighted by peer and you can see by just reading them that they are staff. the speech switches from first hand to third party. Fake fake fake.
I will wait till she finishes her treatment and I will be there for her like I have been for the last three years. You have no idea what I went through for her and what our history is.
If my partner is effected in anyway by your action then i will pursue you as the responsible. She should be left unaware of this as she has no access to the internet.
In the mean time IF you have created a successful treatment we will not see anymore comments by others. by reading this i doubt it
You have no complaint procedure and my complaint was ignored that is why i have now done this to help others.
By the way "doing something different" are you resident, ex resident or employed. I suspect you are employed in management as you have switched from one to another.
If you cant make your own mind up to who you are how can you treat others.
Why would you fake your own testimonials unless you cant give them.
So let me get this right Baldy man employs 3 people who now work AWAY from home and AWAY from bad influences. Why. If they are treated they should be able to walk down the same streets and not be bothered.
And as for me being a bad influence I was the one who wanted my partner to get help. I made her attend her meetings and the only reason we fell out was because i tried to stop her drinking.
The main cause of her drinking was her past not her influences. many people live in society without having to worry about walking past an off licence. You have employed 3 people doing what if you dont mind.
Mr very right i own my own business, own my i own home no mortgage or loan and never been out of work and never been short of money. My life is now incomplete because the person i love thinks i didnt care about er. I am not allowed (by littledale) to express my feeling to her and am expected to sit down and throw a 3 year relationship away. ### littledale
Again turtleglove and the baldy man are one and the same claiming to be employer and resident and staff at the same time.
My partner ex if you want is in there to stop drinking and substance abuse. I wanted her clean. I wanted her to stop. So yes i controlled what she did by trying to stop her getting involved with people who drank and did other things. I hated finding her in incoherent states but worst of all I hated people taking advantage of her.
I you people think I was wrong for trying to protect her and get her the help she needed then I am Guilty as hell. I will not regret my actions. Littledale class that as control yet they do exactly the same thing. control the environment and control communication and control the money. The difference is I did it because I love her, You do it cos you are paid.
Dont dare taint what I feel for her with your lies. I have my evidence of you actions. I also know that she cannot have lied to me about how she felt. I never felt that with anyone else and I know it was real.
You wont let me see her because you know she will remember her feelings and you will be wrong. My money and everything I own means nothing without her. I am not a bad person.
You however are. You made me resent my partners mother because you claimed she had restricted access to my partner. This caused a big rift. I know that this was now a lie. SUE Robinson told me that lie. Why did you tell me that Sue. Because my partner was unsettled and you knew she would leave. The sad part is that I wanted her to complete her treatment not walk out. I trusted you were telling me the truth SUE and you lied. You kept her letters from me when she was seeking answers about us. you kept pages from letters because my partner numbered them. I want to know why you did it.
I know its the truth people where I live know what I had to do and how I acted while she was in there. Many people who are close to my partner know exactly what I have been going through because of you and I grinned and bared it for my partners sake.
You want a lesson in love I will give it to you cos I topped the class. Pure and unconditional no reason just feeling.
1.45 am and I am still working to provide for her and I will still do it till she returns. When we are together and I know we will be I will tell you all how wrong you were.
I want it clear that I do not want her to fail, I want her to succeed. I dont want her to get back on the drink and I will be doing everything I can to assure that.
Why did i sound obnoxious, because i work and own my own company?
You are however correct I have no idea what goes on up there.
I do know what has been said and done?
What i cannot fathom is why you would make comments about me unless you have been talking to staff about my partners PERSONAL affairs which as Littledale say is another big rule and a big no no.
So you and your husband have clearly had access to details that you should never have had. You have again shown Littledales munipulative ways.
You have only known my partner for 3 months and you expect me to believe that you know her better than her friends and her family.
And Sue or Denise or which ever Member of Littledale staff you are. I wont contact her I will wait till she makes her OWN mind up. I dont control her and have never been able to ask her mother.
And for the record This is my only profile. What i said and I commented is MY thoughts only I have not said anything i cannot prove.
I only gave people a platform to express their thoughts, just like you. If you dont like them it is not my fault. Difference is You can ask them so why haven't you.
I think that you have put me through enough and the stress I put my partners mother through because of your comments are more unforgivable than anything else I have done.
I know her mother an pa pa know how much i love that girl yet you have labelled it control.
Protecting people you love is not control its what you are meant to do.
You may like to break up relation ships for the ease of life but life is not easy.
I wont give up on her at all like you want. I will however give her space to make her own mid up. Thats something YOU wont do.
I know I have made some mistakes in my past. None of them have involved her. I am so sure that I am not wrong I wont contact her. I will leave her to remember because we had great moments together and those moments will surface.
I have not had the chance to remind her because we have been kept apart. If littledale is so sure that i am wrong then they should not have interfered. But they did.
I have been speaking to someone who did Rehab and he has said that they keep you busy and suppress your feelings.
My partner is a loving emotional person and has a heart of gold and I know you cannot take that from her.
By the post that you make "Mr very right" you only prove that Littledale are behind it all and not her.
When she leaves i will give her space to make her own mind up. Let her ask questions and answer them. Questions that will need answering.
You judged me, called me a chancer, a fly boy and far from dull you should have looked into me properly. If thats your opinion then i dread your abilities as therapist.
Ps he proper channel have been notified and the post marke letter dated by your franking machine have been sent to them. Whats you lie going to be?
Got to admit that you are really trying to goad me. You're to late. Been warned and been told. You can say what you want now. I am now going to wait and see. As a member of staff at Littledale You had no right to make the comments you have made about my partners personal life on here. I can prove the information i provided. The letters and the comment. Where do you have it written that I am chancer. My partner knows i am far more than that.
Like I said when she is out of there and if we meet the only one i will blame is littledale. No one else at all. Your place isnt magical its business.
GOOD NIGHT
Far from it. I counted 4 and with this soon to be made more visible i can soon see more and more posting their experiences.
I have seen your reaction already. You are going to say its people who have failed the treatment, but there are them who said they have still abstained. I say good on them. I have no right to say what others have or have not experienced. Only how you have treated me and that is my right to complain. If it saves people going through what you put me through then i will have done them a favour.
You also forget when she returns she will be able to see this and the comments made. Chancer, fly boy, dull, control freak her true friends know that was never the case. But that has been planted in her head. None of the positives.
So yes i am confident about where i stand. You on the other hand will not be.
iamtracy, I know how she feels i feel really angry, but she needs to help him. Sue Robinson is my partners Key worker and by reading what turtleglove has said (who cant make up his/her mind if she is the husband or wife) peoples personal lives are discussed and manipulated for their labour force.
How can a person working at Littledale employ people with out it being a conflict of interest. if she/ he doesn't work at Littledale, why does she/he know personal details of my relationship.
Sue you have shown yet another breach of patient confidentiality to suit you own agenda.
People from outside that establishment should not know anything or financially gain from resident as you clearly have demonstrated you do.
Today i recieved a phone call from an officer who is investigating harrassment complaint made by the staff at littledale. I was more concerned that they claimed that i had been ringing them. This is totally untrue.
What also concerned me is that SUE Robinson did this complaint infront of my partner to the police.
I have complied with the officer and said i would allow them access to my phones.
My last letter was last week and i have not since wrote or called up at anytime. My last email to keith robertson was on 20/10/10
My conclusion is that Littledale have tried to hurt me by making me look bad in front of my partner.
I requested that when the officer proves that i had not made the call. I would like him to return to Littledale and tell my partner the allegation is not true.
Littledale, you have again shown me more evidence that you manipulate people and now you have proven the depths that you would sink to.
Sue you have again lied and your actions will only upset my partner. when this come out in the wash i will be seeking a statement off the police officer and presenting it to the proper authorities.
So you are backing SUE for lying to the police and to my partner.
You fail to realise that Sue's actions have only proven how far Littledale will go. Lying to the police and getting staff to do the same. I welcome the police as it will prove that you lied about the calls and it will go on record. The fact that she did it in front of her will show how low she went to manipulate her. My only concern is how this will effect my partner when she realises the one that she trusted was lying the whole time. I did not ring Littledale again or write to her since i was asked to..
Littledale is getting exposed for what it is and more people will think before putting their trust in a place like this.
I really appreciate the off and thank you, but I will wait for my partner to do it off her own back. I dont want anyone else to suffer at the hands of these people. You can message me your details if you wish and explain who you are.
I wont break the law and I wont allow SUE to put my partner through another interview with the police. I am still outraged that she sunk so low as to do that. To lie to a resident and make false allegation so as to drive a wedge between them. . I hope you have the answers ready for why you put her through that unnecessarily. I have witnesses that can confirm that i have not wrote or called.
I certainly will not use a third party to do it either.
I know her better that they think they know her. Her true feeling will overcome what they have programmed into her head. It is just a matter of time and I think she is worth the wait.
I have another complaint. You made my partner get rid of the dog. that dog was part of the family. You should have let me have her back if you didnt want her. we were looking after her fine and now you have given her away to a stranger.
You are really sure you have made her better. She would never in a million/ billion life times given that dog up.
I have no idea why she broke with me, but that dog was her child and you some how made her part from it.
You also have told everyone not to mention it so that she wont get upset.
What is she going to do when she wants her dog back?
And if i even got my partner wrong i know she loved that dog more than me.
If you know where it is please dont let her go. I am now begging you not to do it. That dog means everything to her and you have no idea what you are doing.
It is obvious that you are pushing her in some way.
The plans we made were for her to finish her university course I hope she still sticks with it.
I really want her to achieve what she wants to do. She has always regretted it and it has been one of her main goals in life.
I always wanted her to do it and I will be more disappointed if she doesn't apply for September.
My main thing was to earn enough money to support her through it and give her a foundation to come out to.
I still plan on being here for when she comes out and I have no intentions of being with anyone but her. She is my soul mate and everything.
I know we loved each other and that the only reason we have split is the divide that Littledale created.
When I meet her I wont expect anything because I believe in love and that is something Littledale destroyed by labelling it control.
They have tainted what we had and I will remind her what she means to me.
She is worth every bit of pain I am feeling and I am willing to anything she wants.
Thanks for pointing BEWAREOFFAKERS out.
The person made a post trying to say All these people are fabrications.
Well let me tell you that this is me and only this is me.
Littledale I have nothing but contempt for your behaviour and yes I have reported you to the necessary channels.
I have given a platform so that other people who you have treated with the same disregard can voice their experiences and others can see how you treat people.
If I had known I would have never allowed her to go there.
However I want her to finish her treatment then I will see her.
You are so confident that this was her choice then why did you tell her she was not allowed to contact me when she arrived. I have her very first letter explaining that you did this.
Everyone here has similar experiences, I take full credit of letting people know. I now only await her return.
Love is impossible to switch off. When we meet she will remember and I will let it be her choice.
I wasn't going to respond, but why not.
How do you know who and what I am?
Why would you describe me as such?
I wish more people were like me as do many others in this society.
Only six months to go and I will have proven everything I promised I have kept to.
I have the strength to carry on my trials and tribulations with out having to bend to the pressures of peers.
I do what I feel is right and have no doubt that when she realises why I did what I did she will be the only one who can judge me and I will take anything she says.
I have no problems accepting my faults, but I do have problems with people feeding off the weak and what is the common theme with everyone posting on here.
I dont need pity off people who make money out of the misfortunes of others.
I have nothing more to say about the way you behaved that is between me and her.
After reading what everyone has wrote on here I feel much better and am continuing building the future i promised her. No matter what you say I will still be here waiting for her. Nothing you can say will make me change the feelings I have for her.
Firstly I tried and agreed that rehab was the best option.
I supported her all the way through and still do.
What i dont like is the ### lies that the staff at littledale made out.
For example blaming her mother for no contact
making out that her laptop had not been sent
telling me not to do as she asked and then leaving me to take the blame.
keeping her letters from me and keeping mine from her
But again I will say this... I was not trained or paid to help her for the last three years. Why did i do it?
They were not easy years as her mother will know only too well.
I wont disrespect her mum as her mother tried her best and in the end it wasnt enough because we both got played by someone whos whole world revolved around drink.
But when she was sober i saw the beautiful confident women that you all only see now.
How many times did people tell me to wash my hands of her. (rememeber)
What did I do? I stuck by her.
I have not destroyed the reputation of littledale.
I just pointed a few thing out that Littledale wouldnt clarify.
Everyone else ha a right to speak their own mind (now they have their own minds)
She is the love of my life. I believe she has forgotten our real relationship and has only focused on the bad things.
Her memories will be a blur of visions and drunken stoupers.
Surely treatment would include making sure what she remembered is a truthful account and not onesided.
The stupid thing is I wanted her to be sober and did everything i could to make sure she finished her treatment.
I hope she doesnt come out because of this but i hope i get to at least see her and speak to her.
Oh and one more thing i will say Six members of staff at littledale claimed i made phone calls to the establishment after the me and her split.
WHY DID YOU LIE IN FRONT OF HER FOR?
YOU PROVED TO ME WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF.
I am unhappy and have been ever since.
I am not unhappy about her because that is the only thing keeping me going.
I need to point somethings out.
1) as mention i was with her 3 years and no we are not family.
2) I cant understand why her mother would write this. She knew how difficult things were.
3) My partner has always been beautiful and confident. She just believed the beer helped. I spent a lot of time with her sober and she is a great person to be with. her little moments of clarity far outweighed all the bad times. I always knew that the drink was the cause. that's why I stood by her.
4) I am in love with her. That wont change. Littledale kept us apart but my feelings are still as strong. I also know her mother said she would respect her daughters decision. Why would she tell me to move on? I knew this was possibly going to be 12 months and i was prepared for that.
5) Why did her mother mention money and house, these are things that meant nothing to my partner. She was never materialistic at all, and i resent the insinuation that it was the only reason she was with me. I learnt money meant nothing from her. Her mother also knows this more than any one.
Which makes me wonder. who actually wrote that post. My partners mother would never stoop so low as to try and hurt my feelings with jibes. She is better than that, and she would never insult people she doesn't know.
We may have our differences but I know that she knows I tried to do what ever I could for her daughter.
Whenever she needed me she knew my door was never closed.
The route cause of our feud was all caused by sue robinsons lie. partners mum never told you to stop me seeing her. yet sue led me to believe my partners mother (next of kin) had made a request to keep us apart.
this cause a rift and further issues. How was this building relationships? I wont blame her mother for anything anymore. I blame myself for trusting a strangers.
My complaint is about the way littledale kept my letters and lied to my partner. Possibly even her mother. What everyone else wrote helped me keep strong.
6 months to go and i will see what my partner want when she comes out. until then I will wait for her.
Anyone who reads this please do not say anything to her mother. I don't believe her comment to be malicious. When I see my partner I will in my own time when she is ready.
I don't blame her, other for her actions, she is just happy her daughter is sober (as am I).
My attempt to help her may have failed but at least I tried.
I will be here when she realises what the "brainwashing" was really for.
How long were you there for Clive, and when did you leave?
What do you mean cruelty and neglect?
I have stayed off commenting on here as it has made my life hell. Littledale can do or say what ever they want. All i know is that someone I love with all my heart has decided to leave.
According to Littledales description of me, Im controlling, an abuser and someone who wasn't worthy of an interview to see what i was really about. They never took the time to realise my arguments with my partner were about her trying to get out of going rehab. They were about her drinking spirits and me trying to get her to eat.
I had a well paid job and I worked really hard. When I came home I had to pick up the pieces that had been left around. Did Littledale care? No. The number of times my partner was exploited people offering her drink to get what they wanted. What was I meant to do stand by and accept it? When she got violent I would throw cold water on to her to sober her up. What would Littledale prefer I do. Hit her.
I am in love with someone who had a problem. I didnt turn my back on her like everyone told me to. I stood by her and at times it was the hardest thing to do. I was in love and it was unconditional. However I did make one condition.
On the day before she was meant to go to rehab she changed her mind. We had the biggest row ever. If I was selfish I would have just let it be. I didn't. I spent the whole day organising and sorting her things out with her friends. When she left I cried, but i got to see her at Harvey House. Everyday I went in and saw her, even on a day I couldn't. She was sober everyday and we made plans for her to go to Uni.
When she finally went to Littledale I received no communication for 3 weeks. Everyone else got letters except me. Why? Well according to my partner (i still have the letter and it angers me everytime I read it) Littledale had told her she was to write me one letter to tell me it was over. WHY? What gave them the right to make a snap judgement on me without so much as a conversation.
The fact that Littledale has done this and many other thing made me create this blog.
Whoever wishes to write their experiences may do so.
"peers 2010" I am sorry but they win. I am a strong headed but when it comes to my partner I am weak. She has chosen to make this decision and regardless of how I feel so long as she is fit and healthy then that is all I wanted. I would rather her be safe than end up led on a street messed up because of me. I wanted to marry her and I still do, but only if she wants to. I know what Littledale did, she will eventually figure it out herself, but until then I only wish her the best from life.
For everyone else who reads this, rehab is a great idea, dont be put off by my experience not every rehab is like Littledale.
Do you know what I had to go through for her? No
Everyone who knows us knew what she meant to me and what she put me through. Time and time again I was told to give up on her. I didn't. She may not remember things because no one was there to remind her of what I did for her. The biggest joke in all this is I made her go there. I actually argued and threatened to end our relationship so she would go to rehab. If she had called my bluff I would have tried something else, but my only aim was to build a life with her.
I know I treated her well and everyone said I treated her like a queen. For the love she showed me she deserved everything the world has to offer. I will give up everything I have just for her.
The anger I feel towards Littledale subsided when I knew she was getting better, it was the only thing keeping me going, but when I was told how they portrayed me to her how am i meant to keep a level head. Being caring and protective gets changed to controlling and abusive.
I ask littledale staff on here now. Would they let someone down bottles of vodka or try to stop them and wean them off.
If a person they loved was a danger to them self would they remove the danger or let them get hurt and say i told you so.
People told me to let her learn for herself, but instead she didnt. The next day she would have no idea what had happen.
I called it the Groundhog day effect.
What would you do in my shoes? love her or leave her? I chose to love her and I still do.
I cannot begin to tell you how difficult this has been. I made her promises and I kept all of them. She told me to start my own business on the last day I saw her. I have done it. We now employ 9 people. I haven't had a day off so I could spend weeks with her when she comes home. I turned my back on all my friends and stayed away from everyone who could possibly cause her issues so that she had a safe environment with no temptation or stress. I sent her presents for birthdays, christmas and valentines day (which apparently she has not got). Kids keep asking me when she is coming home especially my daughter who is really fond of her. She wouldn't go on holiday with out her because she wanted her to go on all the rides with us just like in Blackpool.
I was told to give up on her time and time again even by Littledale. When things got too much my friends reminded me who I was doing it all for. They told me to forget the bad and only focus on the good. I did just that. I look through all our pictures together and the one thing common in all of them is we are always smiling and laughing. I lost my smile till I meat her. she made me happy and I want to do the same for her.
I blame Littledale for what they did. I blame myself for not being able to help her more than I tried.
there is a saying "diamond in the rough". Thats what she was. I saw through all the bad that surrounded her. No one else cared. I had no one to turn to for help about her problem. From the first time that she held me and stroked my arm I felt affection. Her emotions shattered me and made me feel again. There was a side to me that I had locked away for so long and she made me open up. when she was there i could sleep easy without her i am lost. for the last 6 months people have nicknamed me Lostboy. I am incomplete and she is the missing piece of me.
Yes you are right i don't drink, i did participate with her but it no longer interest me. I am a workaholic now. I spend all my time building our future .
I would like to thank you, for your message. I hope one day we could meet under different circumstances and maybe you will be able to talk to people and listen to her shenanigans. She isnt just missed by me she has some really good friends that also got the bad end of her drunkenness too.
You mentioned "hope", I prayed and hoped for the last 8 months that she would succeed and I risked my life just to get the blessings of another person for her to get well. when she stopped writing I "hoped" that it was a nightmare and i would wake up from it. She is my hope that love is real.
I know you have a positive look at Littledale, but the pain that this caused me is still raw. May be in time I will forgive them. Right now I cant. there are thing that were said and done that can only be resolved by her. Closure is hard to acheive without answers.
q: when did you leave and how well did you know her
did you even try to help your Ex?
I'm sorry if I sounded a bit horrible with my question. You never said much about you Ex. Why did he not go to rehab too?
Do you not think that what you learnt in rehab could have also helped him? I am not questioning your judgement or your actions.
It seems that with what you say everyone on here is right. You also ended a relationship base on distancing yourself from temptation.
Was trying to help your Ex not an option?
Did your ex want you to get help and go into rehab?
Forgive me if I am overstepping the mark here. You must remember I question Littledales techniques of locking people away from society and saying you are cured.
As everyone has said here they are in a bubble till they come out and things change. I dont want her to be on her own if that happens.
I am so sorry for what I said. I think you have made the right step because of your situation. funny thing you mentioned was that Littledale told you he didnt love you to do what he did... they said the same about me pouring her vodka away.. they called it domestic abuse. I got that info from one of "peers 2010" freinds. I admit freely what I did and if in the same situation many people said they would have done the same. I am good at business development. I was not a drink or drug specialist. I was strong willed so if i didnt want to do something i would say no. she couldnt do that. I worked too much to keep an eye on her. her friends tried to protect her but this got twisted in to spying on her.
She didnt realise whilst she was drunk how things were. I loved her and wanted to marry her that is why I made her go.
When she was at littledale I wanted to send her the engagement ring i had bought but had SUE tell me not to bother. Sue told me not to do a number of things. I also know they kept her laptop and told her I hadnt sent it. they gave it her 2 months later. Everything she asked for they told me not to send it.
You tell me? was littledale in the wrong
check your message inbox
Doing something different- How dare you insult someone just because you cannot read or understand the shorthand. It doesn't mean they are off their heads. I know you are Littledale staff. Your are that stupid You insult some one who defended your establishment by trying to tarnish them. Just to recap . They have a job and a life.
Peer who was in trouble- Now you can see first hand how Littledale stamp on people. Make them look really bad and make themselves look like they are your family and that only they can be trusted. Ask yourself, what did you do wrong? Give someone hope.Please stay out of my argument with Littledale. You do not deserve any stress as you have a hard test in front of you . Good luck and I hope you succeed in keeping your demons at bay.
I think I understood that clearly "doing something different" did you. Peer you didnt deserve that at all and I apologise for you getting involved. Why they vebally attacked you like that is beyond me. I thought that you were pro Littledale (even now).
This was my exact point about littledale. The assumption that We are idiots and they can treat you like they want.
Independant thinker my left butt cheek. Your independent evaluation is about the idea of rehab. If you had read any of the posts in her you will see that the argument is the way the staff make decision and influence the residence into an natural train of thought . It is clear that Littledale keep people away from society to build up their strength and then release people with the hope they wont do it again.
Most people still abstain but with out side help.
I believe that the length of stay is to gain finance not the well being of the patient.
Clearly demonstrated by Littledale staff is their contempt for people who succeed after they tell them they will fail.
If one is to be judge should one have the opportunity to defend ones self. I dont think they (littldale) had the right motive
I think I would like to thank everyone who has contributed. It has shed light on the inner workings of Littledale. Their so called "sane" outburst insulting people who's positive statement reflected a direction my partner was taking only proved Littledale has an agenda for itself and not for its users. I am confident over time when Littledale has no grip on her my partner will see what is the truth and not Littledales distorted view. Worse mistake you made Littledale is tell her I didn't really love her. When she see's her friends again and finds out what you have kept away from her she will make her own mind up. I am going to let her decide for herself. I will wait for her as long as it takes because I do love her more than you know.
As for doing what you do...9 months and i have help 4 people change their lives for the better and employed 9 people so ### you and you self righteous crap. You tried to use your ex residents to come on here and say something and to what avail. They backed this blog instead. What does that tell everyone. I have made my point and others have made theirs. I have heard people agree with rehab but not with Littledale personal involvement. You are insane to think people wont push back when you push them too far. Another point failing does not go hand in hand with leaving littledale.
It is up to the individual to say no and to police themselves and not blame others for their own choices. I realised I blamed Littledale for my partners choice not anymore. I blame Littledale for "trying" ruin a great part of my life and causing me mental anguish from the day you demanded she end our relationship. when she realises it (and she will) i will show you what the consequence's will be.
I have had enough. The only thing I wanted was to be happy with her and her to be sober. I only tried to protect her. I worked as hard as I can to provide everything for a safe environment for her return.
Littledale lied to me. Caused a row between me and her mother. How did that help?
Littledale kept her mail. How did that help?
Littledale have not given her her friends mail. How did that help?
Littledale kept us apart for 9 months. How did that help?
Littledale told my partner that i dont love her. HOW DID THAT HELP?
Littledale told her me pouring her drink away was abuse. HOW DID THAT HELP?
Littledale without knowing the facts said i was a control freak. HOW DID THAT HELP?
I know what has been said in there to her. I also know what I have done out here.
I know it is only a matter of time and I will be reunited with her.
I have done a lot over the last 9 months that will make her proud of me and I am proud of her.
So all this tricks to make me angry, you keep them.
Peer2010: Thanks for the email and sorry if you get any grief.
independent thinker: Yes you have said it right.
I speak for myself. In which case I use the term I or me. I refer to the important person "my partner" 15 times which by the direction of your statement mean that "I" hold "her" more important than my self.
You really do disgust me in the way you manipulate people. Is this an example of Littledale playing mind games. Is this how you confuse you're residents into believing what you want them to believe.
I also mentioned "help", "how" and "proud".
But lets play your word game. I mentioned one w0rds 14 times in 16 lines and you make a big deal about it.
But in your 2 lines of text you double my ratio and use "I" twice as much. what ever you were trying to point out you are "twice as bad at it".
The mind games that you play wont work out here. Eyes wide open
Mr Very Right are you sober and off drugs? If so why are you on this website? By your reckoning your a alcoholic druggy or are you just a "chancer". The thing with the internet is that all you have to do is make something visible on places like "Wired" or other Rehab forums. and the rest is just a snowball effect. I haven't made it as visible as I can do. Imagine with such little exposure all these people have had their say wait and see what happens when I find out the truth form my partner and when she finds out what Littledale did. It will be her choice to forgive you or not.
As for Graham I dont know him and have never spoken to him so I have no idea about him at all.
I only know how they treated me. I have nothing to do with him.
I think Littledale need to look at themselves because all I see here is a people being looked down on.
My dad said never look down on someone unless you are going to help them up and I have always believed in that. Think you should should take my philosophy and use it.
If I were you take her hand and give her everything she needs to stay focused on what she has achieved. Their support is less important than you. It is clear that she wants to be with you and that is all that matters. If you need financial help message me your details and I will help you. At least I can stop them ruining your lives.
@stacysolic You again made the assumption that these people are miss using substances. I have met two of them and they are hard working individuals. They are not seeking to blame Littledale for anything accept overstepping their boundaries of control. Controlling an environment where they lived to get well is in my opinion acceptable. To break there emotional ties with loved ones should be their own choice not that of Littledales.
My partner loved her dog and they removed the dog from a loving environment and placed it with strangers. Her friends were left distraught thinking they had let her down when all along she had no say in the matter. You can tell Littledale I intend to find our dog and get her back once once my partner has left Littledale. They think they could just give her away and that she would be forgotten. Never.
There is no assassination of Littledales reputation going on here. The unfortunate thing is that when someone came on here to defend them some idiot from Littledale insulted them. (doing something different)
I am in love with a girl who had a problem. I looked past that problem and saw someone really special. I tried my hardest to help but in my own way was unprepared for what was needed. I couldn't provide 24 hour policing of her environment which is all that littledale hall is and I am not a trained councillor.
Me and her mother tried and failed, actually I failed to move her away from where she lived, but she always found somewhere away from our home to drink. So in my opinion it was her that need to change "NOT THE ENVIROMENT" .
She may have changed.. I dont know.. Why?... Because littledale wont let her speak to me?
I already know about the cryptic way that you break ties by making people think it is there choice and the way that you use neuro linguistic programming.
Take stacysolic: the NLP is clear in the written text. I am surprised that no one real (besides staff) has really defended Littledale, without messaging real stories about them. I have a nice little file building up for everyone to read.
Oh and stacysolic I started this thread, I am not an alcoholic. All facts are stated here as facts and proof is available. If Littledale feel it makes them look bad then if the shoe fits wear it.
Littledale staff Clearly called me a control freak for doing what they get paid to do.
4yearsclean: Read the whole thing then make your comment. You will notice everyone who has posted remains clean and dry. Well done for your successful recovery. I hope you made your family proud. My issue is nothing to do with relapse or anything of the sort. I am not a user of Littledale, so your comment has no effect to this thread at all.
Regardless of what has gone on I know my partners mum will protect her daughter to her last. She will stand by her even when she is in the wrong which is something I admired about her. Don't get me wrong, she will tell her off but on her own. If she has had a head to head with Sue then it will be in her daughters interest.
The recorded letter was sent by my partners friend. She had sent 4 letters to her and her mum had told her she hasn't received any of them. Guess the cant lie about a recorded letter. I wonder what excuse they have for that.
My partner asked me something similar and i phoned Littledale up and asked Sue, she told me to ignore her as it would make her loose focus on what she is in there for. I still wrote an 8 page letter tell her about everything, but she never got it. instead i got a letter asking why i hadn't wrote. I wrote to her 4 times a week. At least I know Littledale kept them from her.
If you do leave Littledale I suggest you put you Facebook wall onto private and friends only as Littledale have people who read through your profiles and use that information.
How do you react to something like this? When I read your "PROFESSIONAL OPINION" I will admit I actually hated myself. For the first time ever I actually wondered if things would be different if I wasn't asian. I wanted to be someone else so that she didn't hate me and I still had a chance to be with her. But no matter what I look like on the outside I will still be me on the inside. I didn't look at what she was on the outside only what she had in her heart. Again it is something she taught me and I know damn well you have not spoken for her. OIL AND WATER ... YOUR KIND... LIKES OF ME. That the sort of racist ### I put up with when I was a little kid.
If you wanted to get at me and hurt me you have done it.
If you wanted to anger me you have done it.
When she leaves I wont try to contact her that will be her choice, but there is not a slightest chance in this world that I will ignore her.
I wasn't born yesterday and I can tell when I see a desperate attempt to make me react.
Yes shell2009 its not the first tie someone from Littledale called me a chancer and yes I know the rules about relationships in there.
Sorry Littledale but you have played the wrong card with me there.
Do you know what I really am angry about. How you drag her into the office saying she has broken rules when other who have Littledale clearly flaunt images all over of people who are still in treatment. You seem to be more interested in caging her in then in stopping other do what they want. I supposes its because they are the right colour for your approval. And by the way she ain't used her facebook account since she has been in there. You know it, her friend request were accepted from a long time ago. Her messages remain unopen for the last 9 months and she has messages from friends from when she was only 10 on there. Guess you tell her to get rid of the past is your idea of treatment. Well in my opinion you end up making a problem for the future.
Dont try and hint at my race not being good enough again, I am human and "MY KIND" have feelings. Me and her are not "OIL AND WATER" we were more like "Chalk and Cheese"
You are really trying to wind me up.
She has a great family and some very good friends who all miss her. What makes you say we never put her needs first.
What me and her felt was real, I know it is still real in me and will always remain there.
If she is laughing at me then I will be the jester if it makes her smile. She made me smile and I will never forget it.
If you expect me to bite you can forget it.
So you are staff.
I hold my hands up ... I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM NOT AN EXPERT . I TRIED AND I FAIL AND YES I FEEL LIKE I LET HER DOWN. I dont need you to be righteous and tell me I let her down. I have many regrets about how I went about things and if I could turn back time I would, but dont ever say I never loved her because even now she is more to me than I ever realised. If she didn't love me then why did it take you 5 months to drum that out of her. Why did you block me from seeing her, and stop her from getting the letters from me. If I was the problem why have a go at her friends. They haven't done anything wrong to her. As for the dog, she was looked after really well, Me and her mate felt like ### when we found out she had got rid of her. You made us believe she had done it out of choice and I recently found out you made her do it. If she chooses to take her dog back will you let her? Or is that another tie that you broke to keep her in treatment.
I am not perfect and I made mistakes, but loving her was not one of them. I wont stop because I cant. She may have done but I can only hope she hasn't.
Hold on you dick, . She looked after that dog better than anyone. Yes I agree she made mistakes but that dog came first and we made sure that dog was well looked after when she was in there because if it wasn't she would have left.
Now I know your a chatting ###, She never asked me for anything. She was never materialistic at all and never wanted money off me. She used to get mad at how I wasted my money but never for herself she wanted me spend more time with her and the kids.
Who ever you are you have no idea who she really is. Our relationship may have been a bit messed up but she never lied about how she felt. she couldn't have. I never felt like how she made me feel. If that was a lie then I have no idea what life is all about.
Her mother may not like me, I probably deserve it after the way i spoke to her. I hold my hand up, but her mother never raised her daughter up like that. If she decided she wanted to be with me her mother wouldn't stand in her way.
Your right she hasn't lost any loved ones. I will be here waiting. It is me who has lost out.
I started this because I thought that I was being treated unfairly. I was.
I made it quite clear from the start that I had no idea how to help my partner stop drinking and some of the things I did were wrong. I know i shouldn't have poured her vodka away or hide her bank card so that she didn't waste her money on beer.
I have always been told that its not the act but the intention that is important.
I acted wrong, but my actions were to help her.
You want me lose a really important part of my life.
The only thing I wanted was for us to have a happy family together. Her going to Littledale was meant to be a step in that direction. I was meant to start our business while she was in there and when she left she would go to University and finish the course she had left.
Can you tell me what I was doing that was so wrong.
How have you turned love into hate?
I have had no chance to explain how I feel at all, even now that she has left you keep her under wraps so that she is unable to speak freely with her friends.
Sue your "professional opinion" you can keep to yourself. Lets face it that is who you are. You gave it away that you were a key worker when you mentioned one on ones and the women solidarity thing that women should stick together (female).
So now I know who and what sort of people I really am dealing with.
First of all Sue as her key worker you should never have blamed her mum for stopping me seeing K. that caused a fight. Not very professional
You kept on telling me what i should and shouldn't mention to her in letters and told me not to do what k asked me to. I also like the way you kept her laptop and told me that she wouldn't get it for a while yet you told her I hadn't sent it. I have the letter from her telling me I may a swell not send it now. 4 weeks after you had already signed for it. and then you wipe it. Deleting all her programs Why?
She asked for a mountain bike which gets sent and you keep that too. Have you give it to her now?
I don't expect you to understand how I feel, I don't expect you to care as I don't pay you to.
I know that all you are is a business and there are many people who I have given a platform to speak from.
When i see K i will apologise if she felt I had done her any wrong. I will explain that i may have been in the wrong with how I went about things. But I will ask her to look into her heart and tell me if she honestly believes that I did it thinking I was wrong. Or did i do it because I simply was in love with her
it took you 9 months of keeping us apart. If you are that confident we were never in love let me speak to her face to face for 15 mins. In that short amount of time I will know what is what. If she feels like I was in the wrong I want to know for myself. I accept people can change but you cannot change the thing that is inside you. You can adapt to others needs but you still want what you want.
I am sure that what I did was for her benefit and people close to her can vouch for it. I am not perfect but I have a good heart. You call me controlling, I suggest that you take a look at yourselves and tell me what you did that was so different.
You kept her away from people. I trusted her to make her own mind up but when that trust was broken I intervened.
You kept her money. I made sure she always had money.
You only let her write to who you allowed. I let her speak to people who didn't give her spirits.
You fed her. I tried to feed her.
You locked her away from society. I kept her in society
You got paid . I did it for love
When you stop being paid you will forget about her. I will still be here.
You had it easy with all your help. I had it hard because there was only me and her mum.
Harvey house did her detox and I was there every day even when she told the wanderer she didn't want to go Littledale I spoke to her and promised I would wait for her.
I have kept every promise I made her and I will still be here waiting till "she decides".
I dont think she lied to me or her friends like you made out and I dont believe she has someone else and i certainly dont believe she used me.
I hope she reads this and realises what you all have been doing.
I hope everyone reads this and goes to a better rehab, one that cares for their residents interest and not their own.
I know that you have corrupted her mind so i think you need reminding what is important.
► Its not the colour of your skin but the color of your character;
► Its not the language that you speak but the words that you use;
► Its not where you live but how you live;
► Its not how much you earn but what you do to earn it;
► Its not where you are but how you got there;
► Its not that you are a human being but the kind of human being you are.
You may disagree to my beliefs but I dont think many other will.
Who deserves what in life? You are dealt cards and you do the best you can with them. I dont expect her to come running because I am not that special, I am not a good looking hunk, I haven't got the best lifestyle in the world because I work damn hard. I dont live in an affluent area of wealthy people. Why would she run to me.
What i do have is the hop that she knows no matter what happens I will always put her first and I will never let her down again. Most of all that it will not be a gamble, it will be a sure thing. She thinks her views have change since she has been sober. Well why not take a look and see if she really remembers me in the right light.
Thanks for the support. Its good to know I am not the only one who feels this is wrong. I refuse to respond to proffesional opinions thoughts as I believe its their way of making me react. I dont care who you say she is seeing and I dont care for your sly digs and put downs. I am not perfect, far from it but I am a good person person who is done his best to help some one he loves dearly. may not have been good enough but to try and kill my heart you should take a look at your high and mighty selves.
I want to hear it from her, but you wont let her because your house of cards will come tumbling down
Now you are lying. I have never ever been violent to her. When ever she was out of control I used cold water to calm her down, ask anyone. If I had not tried to stop her she would never have got to Littledale. To clear another point you made, Littledale would let her ring me and originally tried to stop me from speaking to her in any way shape of form. Yet here you are saying you don't do that. Even her friends have been threatened with the police by staff. You just don't want her to know the truth.
You called her a user, made her out to be materialistic, said she was seeing someone else. All lies.
She isnt free to do what she wants, only to do what you say she can.
I would love to find out who it is. Who ever it is has manipulated my partner. It took them 5 months to break her into ending out relationship. By reading The comments on here I believe their biggest concern was that I wasn't the right colour. Although at first I didn't see it, its clear in the words used by proffesional opinion.
If this is how the describe me, I would hate how they twisted me in her mind. Her close friends are not allowed to contact her. Her mother informed her friend that she had not received any letters from her yet she had sent 4. Only when she had sent one recorded delivery did she receive it.
My honest opinion is that its not about her any more. They know if she communicates with anyone form Burnley she will become aware of how much they have lied to her. The opinion she has is completely wrong.
Passionate worker : You don't know me. However be aware that I tried to stop my partner drinking. I made her go to her AA meetings and when she missed thats why we would row. I poured her spirits away and gave her beer instead (weaker). I tried to make her eat and paid off her debts. I work, own my own homes (no mortgages) and as my partner wanted I own my own company and employ 16 people now. I didnt know how to deal with the situation but I learned and along the way I adjusted to help her go to rehab. I don't drink or do anything that could put her at risk anymore. I planned to move from the street we lived on so that she would be in a safe environment. I dont think I could do anything else.
To give you a true idea of Proffesional opinions cowardice. This is the message sent to me privately. If you can post the name in a message then you wont mind it being put on here then will you? I admit it I am now more curious to find out if its true or is this part of this evil thing you do. Try to make me believe that the girl I love is nothing more than a cheat.
Professional-Opinion
11 days ago
Why you still persistent? You are nothing more than tooth ache that needs to extracted. She has a new interest in her life and you are not it. Ask her who lyndyn is? She may not want to upset you but if you ask her in your persuasive way she may tell you. Be prepare to find out how worthless you are to her. People who love each other don't mess around do they. I am sure that you wouldn't have done what she has done to you. I actually feel pity for you. Come back when your a bit wiser and older, we been in this game a lot longer than you have.
turtleglove, baldyman, mr very right, doing something different, professional opinion, bewareoffakers you all have ridiculed, insulted and disrespected myself and others who have commented on here.
Charmingbetty I thank you and others for pointing out clearly the intentions of these people.
For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. I think its time I sat back and waited.
My mistake is that I allowed you to provoke me and let you make me feel like I was not worthy of being loved.
I can promise that I have no intentions of changing her mind. I will let her see for herself how much I truely loved her and IF such a thing really exist I know in my heart that we will be together again. Everything that I ever did was for her protection and for her benefit (thank you for seeing that Rebecca) if I am wrong for doing what I did i will gladly accept the punishment.
I notice that you have yet to say my actions were wrong on here. Why?
Because you know that many people in my situation would (and have) done what I did to protect their loved ones.
I am Superman I am Romeo and I am mortal.
Kiss my rebel ### if you think you will ever make me feel bad again
AJ
You know I wont do anything that would upset or hurt her progress and although you deserve it I wont risk her being affected by this. I hope you are sincere and I am sorry to everyone for backing down. Please understand she means more to me than getting back at them. I hope they learned a lesson of not judging a book by its cover.
I dont believe I am going to say this but with power come great responsibility. I think you shouldn't judge everyone the same.
Pro op sent me a message. I cant post it on here but I have sent it to some of you so you can understand my position.
I still don't trust Littledale and I don't think they expected "my kind" to give a damn.
I still have to wait. I am hoping the damage they have done is reversible without causing her problems.
icantbelieveit: Please tell your friend to stay strong and DO NOT give up on her. Tells him not to listen to what they say only what she tells him.
Yes that was me in the "big brother house". They made her give up the dog baileys and I know that was never by her choice. I know her well enough to know she wouldn't do it unless she had been convinced it was her only option and I bet even now she will be thinking of her, I know I do.
Makes me think that if they could make her do that what else they could make her do and make her believe it was really her choice (not)?
I dont regret telling her to go because I feel I did what I said was for or benefit. If I could turn back time I still think I made the right decision for her, not the best one knowing what Littledale is like.
Thing is she wont know what has been going on out here and when she does I will let "her" decide what "she" wants to do.
I still love her and will wait as long as it takes.
Sorry, I dont want to let anyone on here down. I have not given up, nor do I intend to.
I will admit I am in a very horrible place at this moment. I have realised that Littledale will not risk being exposed for what they are and that there is nothing I can do about it without causing her stress. I am sorry but she is my priority and always has been. I am putting my trust in what I think is the truth. I have faith that she loved me before she went into Littledale. She loved me for 5 months whilst under their influence and it took them 5 months to eliminate me from her thoughts.
A friend of mine spoke to her and she told him she would get into trouble for talking to them. Even now they wont give her the freedom to make her own mind up. I cant change what they have done, but I am still going to keep my promise.
@shackattack thanks for the message it helps, but it is a very painful experience. I have to wake up everyday wondering and thinking and I have no answers.
Thanks but no thanks, I would prefer her to work this out herself. What ever she has been told about me in there seems to be focused around every possible negative in our life. I cant change that and to be honest I have only regrets about certain things. The idea of her going to rehab was so that we could have a better life and get out of the rut of her waking drinking and all the arguments that ensued. She was not to blame, it was the drink, but when she was sober life with her was the best. Thats what I wanted and thats what I will wait for.
I know she will remember and she will realise everything I did was for her and yes me too.
I do appreciate you confirming K is not with someone.
Thank you but I don't want you to get into trouble. I know how they work and what would happen if you were found out.
Thank you again for confirming that Pro Op lied
Never spoke to anybody about anything. I was completely shunned. Never asked anything considering I was with her for 3 years you would think they would have. I did email Keith and told him everything about my past. After reading Professional opinions comment its quite obvious why.
I have read your message and I don't know the man you refer to but i suspected the women you mentioned.
I know how I feel about not being able to speak to her or getting answers. I know here better than Littledale, her heart is way too emotional for them to suppress. I loved her for it and always will. some people are one in a million, she is completely unique. She is the one that is why I will wait for her.
Love is something Littledale have NO idea about.
I haven't realised anything, I am still waiting. Was not ignoring you people, I am sorry if it seemed that way.
I am not embarrassed about how I feel or of my situation. I still love her and as I have said many times that will not change.
One more thing what old ways are you referring to and to my knowledge I have never have been off the rails and by off the rails it seems that you have insinuated I had some sort of issue. I have no issues and the only holic I suffer from is work.
I dont know what she wants, and if I ever see her I will show her you private message. I know when someone is trying to make me snap. It is not going to happen.
@MrPTotal answer is yes I am real although Littledale would have wished I wasn't. Be prepared for everything your mate has done to help to be twisted into something nasty.
@in group: No thank you - If she wants to speak to me it will be on her terms. Please dont discuss me and her. I would like her to choose off her own back.
Strange though it may seem to people following this but I am at peace with myself.
Wondering if I was right or wrong in my action led me to a dark place in my life.
Littledale did exactly what I believed they did and now I have clarity my self doubt has gone.
I don't believe that you fail because you didn't try hard enough, I believe you underestimate the effort required to overcome the obstruction ahead of you. assess, re-evaluate and try try try again. Giving up is failing.
Littledale make people quit drinking, that is not true people do that because they want to and do that on their own.
Littledale put people on the right track, I may agree to that, but who decides what track to go on. It seems that Littledale's end of treatment choices are do what we say or your on your own.
Also looks like Littledale has some serious flaws in its claim to being the best.
Some one mentioned the awards and yes I checked it all out. Littledale is a school as well as a rehab. their award was for offering learning opportunities.
My research into other rehabilitation techniques and services have concluded one thing.
If you want to quit you will do it. After 3 months of seclusion, you should face the world and see what happens. if your not strong enough then seek support.
Easiest way to learn to swim is to jump in the pool.
I seriously think the government should look into spending more on outcare workers than places like this.
That is terrible. I hope you get this sorted. I want you to get reunited and I hope you can get some closure on this. The worst thing you must be feeling is not know. I been reading through this with Jo and she says don't believe everything they tell you. She was told he didn't want to see her but Mike say they advised him it wasn't a good idea. He is sure that they will be trying to make her forget about you and focus on all the negativity surrounding it just like they did with him. They wont know all good things and they dont care.
It will work out just be patient. Try talking to her dad. Are they not concerned that she is acting out of character. If she loved that dog as you say then she will want it back. She will be too busy and wont have alone time to think about it. When she does they will control what she thinks. I know I had the same thing. When she leave there she will start to remember, little things will make her pine.
Just be ready for when she calls and dont blame her.
Dont know what to say pal. Hang in there. I lost a lot when I came out. I will give you my word that she will only be doing what the suggest. I feel sorry about your dog but they will have records and I am sure who ever has it will return it when you tell them the circumstances. I am sure this will pass when she leave that place. Wouldn't surprise me if she starts to see sense soon.
I cant believe it. Clearly Turtleglove you are trying to wind that guy up. Family sounds like he is hurting badly trying his hardest not to lose some one he cares for. And after reading his account it sounds like you instigated the whole thing. I wont be recommending you to anymore people, it looks like you DONT practice what you preach. You dont sound like you resolve issues but create them. You should be ashamed to claim you repair relationships. You sound like judge and jury without defence. I hope family man regains his love.
T.H
took a while to read through this and i am in agreement with you. I looked on here because I keep in touch with a few people in Lancaster and they told me about it.
Whoever you are you are going to feel a lot worse because they will make sure they don't get caught out. You seem to be a normal guy and they are used to down and outs that they can walk all over. I am speaking from experience and you are in for a rough ride. The one thing you got wrong is they make more money from after support and they will claim loads of cash to relocate her that is why they make you break up. They are blatant with it and see how you react. if you have someone to go back to you wont complete the programme. I will tell you that if you love her stand by her but she will have changed a lot. They will have filled her head full of things to push you aside and she wont have a moment to think about you. When she gets out that will all change. I can say this because I have been there and I have had it all first hand. They have you talking like them, and in a nice way they mould you. They also make you think its your choice but its really what they want you to think. If you do not recognise her now wait till you speak to her she will find negativity in everything you say and do. You will be the anti christ of everything and by the sounds of things they have built a wall right between you. She will have made plans and you will be the last thing on her mind only what they have planted and seeded. Be strong and trust in god and if you are true karma will bring her back to you.
By the way when I left that ### hole I fell off the wagon within a week because I saw my ex with another man. I did not t blame her, I ended it on a phone call a few months earlier and I regretted it and still do. I am now sober again and did it all on my own no help from anyone except for antibuse. If you want advice off me wait for her see what she has planned and just be there for her. keep your self occupied and dont fall for any tricks from those ###s.
Dougie who was always sneaking a smoke with the staff
You think this is bad my sister came out a raving loon. She had no idea about real world and went off thinking everything is black and white. I rang the place a number of times for help and they just ignored me. They told me lie after lie. My sis ended up having a nervous breakdown and I know littledale hall LHTC are the reason she went off on one. she was fine after a few months in there and when she wanted to come home they found thing and nit picked at her. I read her letters and you can see the change in her. Littledale made her think her friends were all using her and she came out paranoid and became a recluse.
Your treatment is a load of rubbish and you should be shut down.
As a new ex peer at Littledale I will say this has really shocked me. I have only left and already this rings true to my experience. I also know the person you are talking of. She is a really nice lass and you have got her to a T. She has changed and you have been a reason for that change and I can say she has a totally differing opinion of you. She thinks you are not bothered about her needs where as you are clearly.
I have to admit she has had it pushed into her head and if you want the truth she is upset about you. Everytime she feels i hey are on her case so yeas you can call it brainwashing. I am sorry for you. hope you get together. I liked the pictures.
WOW - finally the truth about Littledale has come out (bet they wont like this). Littledale are nothing more than a bunch of we-care-because-everyone-else-doesn't-give-a-damn-about-you d**k's. Let me tell you something that may come as a shock to you Littledale, I didn't listen to you and I am fine. I know what you did and your stupid mind control and pressure techniques are all documented. I read about them when i came out and I feel sorry for those who put their trust in Littledale because its a lie. The whole place is just a regime and they make you follow that regime. When you get settled and start to think for yourself they change it round and you are doing something else. They do it again and again and again and then when you leave that place and go home and then you settle and guess what, your memories come back and you dont have a change to stop you forgetting and you have to face facts on your own. Where are you then? I wanted to stop drinking and I did it. I didn't want to loose who I am. I still dont drink and I have my friends back and most of all I have my unhealthy relationship back to the one Littledale tried to break up. What this place should learn is that not everybody who I was with was responsible for what I did. Littledale treat relationships like cancer. The shouldn't be treated, just cut away. My other half was not cancer like Littledale hall Therapeutic community made me feel. Therapeutic community my AR**. Regime and conformity till I got out then normality and believe me nothing that they said mattered.
DO NOT GO TO LITTLEDALE - LITTLEDALE IS A REGIME OF MINDLESS PEOPLE WHO GET TOLD WHAT TO THINK- LITTELDALE WILL GET RID OF YOUR EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS- WHEN YOU LEAVE WITH YOUR CERTIFICATE YOU WILL WAKE UP AND REALISE ITS ALL BULL***T - THEY ARE NOT YOUR FAMILY- THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS-
BIG-E left 2010 and work in clothes retail shop with same guy they told would end up causing me harm. I can drink at birthdays and weddings and I now listen to him instead of fighting him because he is not as controlling as I thought. He was watching out for me.
I just been reading this to a friend who was going to sign up. bewareoffakers is obviously staff at Littledale pretending to be an ex resident. Here is a message for you. We no longer have to speak like you are think like you or believe the lies you tell us. The OP has been honest as hell and poured his heart out on here because you wont let him speak to his girl (hang in there fella). There are more people telling the TRUE experience of that place and BIG-E has got two points truer than anything. LITTLEDALE ARE NOT YOUR FAMILY- LITTLEDALE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. Why are you lot hell bent on breaking these two up instead of fixing it. That is what you claim to do, even though you clearly dont.
I am am from Burnley and I have done the rehab programme from a twelve step to a therapeutic I went in as an alcoholic but I came out as an addict, me personally believe we can only do it ourselves co myself i reversed the treatment back on to the staff and they did not like it. I was removed from treatment because I kept my feeling the way they were and iI treated them the way they treated me. The keep going on about about serenity and spirituality as though its a mystique magical cure. When wanted to make my life realistic and do what i wanted They just kicked me out with no where to turn to. I ended up in a hostel frightened because the bubble I was in had vanished and there was nowhere to turn to.
Rehabs are all about money and the look for ways to make you live there so the can make money off you and line their pockets.
I am now a regular confident woman trying to get back on my feet. I have made massive positive changes on my own without any ones help but the support of my family not Rehab. They should be closed down and changed into prisons because that is what they are.
You can walk out any time you want they say but they make you feel you will fail and you are a quitter. Yes I quit alcoholic not LIFE.
The group sessions make you talk about your friends and families and they guilt and push and twist and bend you till you have no idea what to think and then the keep you writing and filling up your time so you cant think for your self and when they stop you are too tired to do anything or think for yourself. If you have a chance to breathe the will always be someone there to stop you thinking for your self and make you forget.
I think rehab is not right and my experience is true and i will give anyone who wishes to get more information a true account and all you have to do is send me a message. I will send you my number so that you can see that i am who i say i am. If you are going to do it, do it yourself. There is loads of home support don't bother with this rehab. I did it on my own and have never been as happy.
Feel free to message me and receive an honest trueful account of what it is really like in Littledale
I do not know where to start, but this is very realistic to my after experience. I took the therapeutic route because I was scared off by the 12 steps programme. I can name fellow peers and people who I have spoke to these last few days and I myself fell that the nail has been hit on its head with everything written here. It is a surreal environment and a fresh start seems to be a great way to move forward and it seems so great when everyone is egging you on and supporting you. When you get out its a lonely place and you soon realise that people who were trying to help you before were really true friends. I say they were true friends because they didn't turn their backs on me when I turned my back on them. I agree with everyone that we were pressured into getting rid of our past even when we didn't want to. The worst thing is I can see now that because I was made to do it I made others do the same thing. We sat in groups judging peoples relationships without knowing the damage we caused. I am saying this because of Dawn. I am really sorry for what I said and I would like to apologise for putting you in that position. Moving forward doesn't mean shedding your past as we thought. I know I left a wake of destruction and made some selfish decisions which I would never have made, but I am more annoyed that I made my new friend do the exact same. I feel anguish, heartache and feel like I have made really terrible decisions. If You read this Dawn, I was wrong and you are right. I am going to try and make amends and you should do the same.
My advice is let her come home and give her time to remember the good things. that is what I did after reading this.
To Littledale: You are mind controlling people who make money out of our lives. You keep us busy for a large time of our life in there to suppress our feelings. You show us how to deal with them, but they are not all negative. You make something that everyone wants seem really bad. You cant choose who you love. If we can change surely we can change the one we love if he loves us? Why did you not think of that.
I am few months out now and I hate what I became. Its all a horrible splash of reality from a comfort zone. Planning and playing it out how I should act is not what I needed . I lost my friends and I fell out with people that are now really close to me. Littledale tried to make it out it was how my treatment would ultimately progress. I changed my plans and looked for a solution to life thinking all this empowering I had achieved meant something but it means nothing out here. Its a hard life and what ever it takes to get by is better that being lonely sat on your own hating everyone because they lived their lives.
Littledale community treatment is a sham and the whole rehabilitation ate away at 6 months of my life and I drank again because I had nothing when I came out. I stopped because I had someone who cared. Littledale made me think i could do it on my own. I needed my family. My sister helped me recover again and I feel great stronger mentally and in control of my emotions.It is not a good place to go. Avoid at your cost
Wow. Unhappy family ( I am not surprised), if you are a genuine human sample, who refelects society as a whole, then my advice to all global residents would be to apply for a place in Littledale Hall! You, little boy, are an abomination and I PITY YOU.
Don't bite lad. See what they try and do all mind games.
To all who have posted comments real or otherwise.
let me start by saying (Unhappy Family) is not family and does not speak for the real family, we are very happy with her treatment and the progress she's made. She entered Littledale a 6 stone ghost who didn't care where or when she'd wake up or who she'd upset on her way to oblivion.
Six months on. Littledale have "Brainwashed her" his words, into a healthy- beautiful confident woman with a mind and will of her own, in short litteldale have given us our daughter back, something he couldn't achieve in three years even with his ego -money- own house etc. Unhappy family as for your relationship, the vail as been lifted from her eyes and perhaps she doesn't like what she sees or remembers, I suggest you find a little humility and move on. To those who've complained, I'm sorry and I know this is selfish but we don't care about you, just because you failed or the treatment didn't work for you for what ever reason, doesn't justify you trying to destroy the reputation of a facility that as helped many many people in particular our daughter.
Thank you
Littledale.
I never failed. I am sober and I owe it all to my partner who I am now engaged to. Dont listen to anyone but your heart. There are very few people who are so devoted. It is true you only remember the bad things and they only focus on removing them. I have to say that I am surprised your partners family have turned on you. 3 years and you still stood by her. 3 years of mental anguish. I know what I put my family through. It wasn't nice.
Real family I am very happy you have your daughter back home safe and well. I would like to offer you some advice from my own personal experience. Dont try to push her into avoiding friend or she will start to lie this will cause arguments and problems. She will want answers and leave it for her to to find them. I listened to what others said and I felt my bubble burst. Its my friends and family that helped me through it not Little-dale. They did their job which the were PAID for. You will have to do the hard part not them. They had the safe environment and all they do is fill you time up. You dont have alone time to think. That is when I felt the temptation. That will be the next step. Watch and see. How long has she been home, a week, two weeks.
I hope your daughter is much better. I want to say that I have not failed either nor did I say treatment didn't work. I believe that they pressured me into making more complications in my life that need no have been made. I read this every week and since I posted on here I have see similarities which mirrored my own experience of Littledale. I dont understand why you posted your message real happy family. I think it is obvious that unhappy family has the same goal as you. His anger is towards Littledale. Rightfully so if they have treated him this way. I was selfish in my comment and only wished to let people know how manipulative that place is.
One more thing "three years" you put up with her drinking. You deserve a medal. If her family cant respect what you did for her then you must have had an up hill struggle. I made things difficult for everyone. I can tell you from my memories that I only remembered all the ### things that I did but when I was in there I pushed all the blame on everyone else.
mind games - mind games - mind games.
Look pal you been told, everyone is telling you, her parents have told you.
Brainwashed or not she only remembers the bad stuff. Only when you see her will you be able to remind her of the good stuff. Be strong, don't give up on her because I am surprised you stuck by someone who needed rehab for 3 year before this last six months. She is home now and all it will be is a matter of time and she will want to confront you. You sound like you really love her and I would hate to know Littledale have destroyed another relationship. I am glad your trying to stay calm through it all. She is a really lucky girl and must be something special. Don't let them make you bite. It will be hard but you seem to think she is worth it. She will figure it out. For someone to spend all that time and get nothing in return is nothing but L.O.V.E her dad must have a screw loose for not realising it. To the parents 3 years is a long time to stick with an alcoholic. I been through 5 relationships in that time frame. Drunks are not nice people. He must have really cared for your daughter and still does. This will become a issue. I know, I been through it. If she wants to speak let her. Littledale will have convinced her otherwise. Nothing worse than waking up and realising you made a really bad decision. Back off break now. Good luck and hope you sort it. Another thing I have not failed either.
Am I getting people mixed up here, because she is still here?
I cannot understand this. Reading through this tell me if I am getting this right.
You stand by an alcoholic girl for 3 years and want her to get sober. You help her and assist her through rehab and even though you are her boyfriend they dont let you see each other for the last six months. Yet you still stick by her. They (Littledale) with hold mail from you (that is illegal you know) and you dont kick off. Her mother gets accused of being the reason you and your partner cant see each other and you fall out with her mother. She gets rid of a family dog that is being looked after (people get attached to pets more than humans sometimes). They (Littledale) come on here and call you a control freak and poke at your emotions and insult you (very unprofessional Littledale in fact that was really pathetic attempt at tearing someone down). People come on here trying to give their version of events there to help U.F.. You have a insider telling what's what. Then her dad comes on here telling everyone how great it is to have a beautiful confident daughter back (U.F seems to think she was always beautiful and confident, just not sober). Then we find out that she is not even home yet... DO I have this correct?
Littledale is NOT a nice place to be. I still have the scars of the damage it caused me after I left and the "oblivion" became a near reality when I realised decisions that I made whilst in there were not what I should have made. They like you to cut off all your ties so they can plan your future for you. You think you are making your own decisions, tell them what you really want and see what happens. Control is having to fill in a form to do things and not having a choice to do things. That is not real life. When she walks past a bar and gets offered a drink who will be with her to stop her. Sounds like the one person who really did care wont be there anymore.
Real Family is going to have a shock because life is not "The Waltons" its "Brookside" and you know what is sad, it looks like she is about to loose the one person who will keep her safe OUT HERE. I hope you still stand by her U.F. Look like you got a bum deal. She will realise how hard it was for you too. I am saying this from experience. You do not have time to think in there. Out here you have all the time in the world. Someone said the bubble burst, never a true word spoken. If I am wrong I will eat my Berret.
Littledale: Denise is a dick
You should hold your head up A. You did nothing but love that girl and she knew it. If she has doubts then all she needs to do is ask any of her true friends and if her mum is half as decent as you made out then she would admit it to. I seen the way you ran around after her and I seen how upset you are over her.
I have know Unhappy family for a long long time and I also know his partner and even though most of his mates told him she was a waste of time he stood by her and made sure she was OK. He is in love with her
Her mother knew he gave up his mates and a lot of other opportunities and for her to be so nasty on here is horrible. I can list time after time he helped her out and her mother and he never wanted thanking for it because he called her mum mother in law. If REAL FAMILY is her mother -- who helped you that time at Christmas when your own family let you down? Your daughter sat with telling me all the ### he had to put up with and how he help your son out of all his ### to. And you make him out to be a horrid person. Do you realise what you have done to him with your message on here. He never blamed you for what was going on, he blamed Littledale. They stopped him seeing her, probably made thing seem much worse than they were. Does she even know how much he is hurting out here. You should be ashamed of yourself. If he hadn't told me to keep my mouth shut I would be writing to your daughter and telling her everything. He is no angel but I wouldn't be surprised if he sprouted wings. How many people do you know who risk their own life for a kid the dont know and then do it again. He is only doing it to get your daughter blessings and you slate him. He told me the mistakes he made but believe me I have seen a lot worse.
I think the world of C and A and they are two people who love each other. If Littledale have come between that then that place should get shut down or at least try and repair the damage they have caused. They are not god and they have no idea what these two were like when they were together.
I read this everytime I am on break now because I work and am not failing. I would really like to meet you. I would like to understand how you keep going? I know that you say you love her but what makes you think she loves you still. I know what that place is like. They try and make you forget and believe me they will succeed. It makes sense that you want to speak to her and only idiots would think you should let go. If you love her holding on is what you do. If you are sure just keep on doing what you are doing here. Let her make her own mind up. The choice she has made now will have been made under pressure and focus on all your bad points. You sit there in groups and you feel like saying things that have played on your mind but you should discuss with the person who it involves. They give opinions and that where the pressure gets to you. The shaking of heads and the little tuts make you start thinking only bad things. You dont even talk about the good things because that is not important.
What ever you did I know one thing that risking your life for a kids is an amazing thing. What did you do exactly? You dont need to say I am just curious as to how you can do it again.
Keep on waiting, it is only time. Her mother will only be filled full of the same ### and bull so dont let her get to you.
You do not understand this place at all. I have my Tshirt and you got it very wrong. They do try and help, but its a waste of time. Its better when you get out because you need to adjust. Some of the staff are out of touch and lie a lot but you never know till you leave. I will say that its a click and you either agree or get kicked out. You will have something that they can not compete against so bye bye your off the menu. Smaller menu less choice, less hassle. Its a rehab and its a business and the way they work they will make her feel she is the most important person in the world and she will feel like she belongs to a family and then its home time and she wont want to make here own decisions. Oh yes, that's right they been controlling your actions for so long when its your turn to choose you panic. No more request and no more mind games to make you doubt your choices.
Real family you haven't got your daughter back yet, wait till she has been home a few months and then see who they have given you back. If she doesnt keep occupied when she will turn and do you know what littledale will do. They will say she was too weak just like they told me. Well ### you [censored]tydale. I am a woman don't care about whether I am confident or not. I was confident woman until you put doubts in my head. I did however break my duck and drink and your stupid beliefs mean nothing out here. No one here but me and I make my own choices not my g. You pushed the blame and so did I and you knew your actions made me resent him. Well it was my fault and me alone and now I can see your doing it again. I am so glad that I read this . I hope your bird see's truth. Bunch of stupid prison wardens thats all they are in there. waste a large time of your life for nothing . I can tell you this for free, wait till she meets mr real world and real family wont know what to do especially when they ring to ask.
Unhappy family dont be mad at her mum and dad, they will just be happy seeing her sober and healthy they forget you want that too.
Rehabilitation locked away from real world is only the start, that is a piece of cake.staying sober out here is the real challenge. I agree with KT and most of the other messages on here Littledale is a waste of time. First 3 months is a traumatic time and they fill up your time. I never got my letters on time and time just flys by next thing you know you have been in there half a year and then you get told your going to leave and you panic. I liked it, I wanted to stay there, then I left and found that I had been living a lie. Its a waste of time. I never learned how to choose, I got told to decided. Sometimes you don't need to decide you can go with the flow. I became more confrontational trying to get answers where sleeping dogs were better. It is not a nice feeling not being able to leave things alone and constantly looking at things thinking that will lead to drink, that will lead to drink.
I want to tell you that the person you know will resurface when she gets out of there. Its only a short amount of time and then you have the rest of your lives together. This is only a phase.
You are NOT in wrong A, don't you dare believe you were a control freak. You have a lot of friends in Burnley who knew what you did. You tried to protect her. I got told to read this and I am not surprised your pissed off. How can a place make a decision like that and think they are helping. Its not fair. I can promise when I see her she is going to be reminded of how much she was loved. Cant believe her mum has let this happen either. You are really good for her and she will remember. If she don't then your right she has been brainwashed. I really want to go there and give her head a wobble. I knew A has not been himself and I knew she were at rehab ( where he wanted her to go) but to split them up and not let them speak to each other, Littledale you are full of ###. I would never let anyone I know ever go to a place that would split these two up. It is wrong wrong wrong.
I would like to make a prediction. When she gets out, and she speaks and discusses everything I will put money on it that she will have been manipulated, lied to and brainwashed. I cant believe she ever gave up dog. Her mother should have sussed it out then, you never saw them apart. they were like the culvert icon. I would hold on to your hopes like you have been doing and everyone who has seen you will be telling her how much you love her. We will be telling her what you have had to put up with. When we see her mum in pub we are going to be asking her to explain herself. Everyone knew how he tried his hardest to help you daughter and you slag him off on here. She were a nightmare and he looked after her what sort of mum wouldn't want that.
I seen him this week and I have never seen him so depressed, its like someone taken his life away. I really hope he gets back with her.
7 months wasted, wont recommend this place to anyone. Littledale lock you away and make you dependant on them. You are free to leave anytime but they make you feel like failing if you do. Calling you a control freak, thats what that place is. Pot calling kettle black.
This is not about destroying the reputation of Littledale in my opinion. seems like Littledale have a lot they want to hide. I was made aware of this when I was trying to ring that place up and saw the review on Littledale. I thought I was in the wrong till I read all these. Littledale play mind games with the residents and they make you feel like you are improving when they feel like it. They try and take over all aspects of your life and scare you into submission. I know who your on about in this and they haven't a clue. You're an unlucky guy who trusted wrong people. You are right thinking what you do. She did what she thinks is right because of how she has been told to think and because you dont fit their ideal person. They judged you and told her what to do. You have really got to ask do you want someone who dumped you because they told her to. I dont mean it in a horrible way. I have been in there and they may pressure you but she did give up on you. I know you wont get to see her, they will make sure of that. If you two get back together it will make them look like the brainwasher's they are.
i was there too and am going to see them for neglect and cruelty
I been sickened by what I learned when I left. I feel like they have stolen time away from me. I have come out and its been a waste of time. they dont prepare you for the real world. I have been hidden away in bubble wrap and stupid rule and constant scrutiny. I had nothing to help me on the outside. I cut off all my friends like they wanted me to and now I need help I have no one. I thought they were my new family but they treated me like another number. "cant speak to you now", "you got to do this on your own", "we never told you to break your ties you choose to do it". I didn't want to and staff and peers pressured me into making those choices.
I never met you in there Clive, but I agree they are cruel people who prey on our weakened emotional states and then they neglect us. I know I got emotional and argued with some people I think I may have argued with the girl your talking about. We got told we weren't allowed to speak to each other for a week (if its the one I'm thinking of). You are right its a massive bubble that bursts as soon as you leave . They pretend to care and dont, as everyone said its a job.
Unhappy family. Dont give up on her. When she leaves and all her fake family is gone she will need you. You will be able to talk to her then. I really hope you sort it out and let us know how it goes.
Happy new year U.F. Hope your OK. have you not seen her yet. Getting confused. Thought her mother said she was back home? I spoke to another Littledale patient left there few weeks ago. She has said she knows your partner. With what she said you have nothing to worry about. For your knowledge well done. If I were in your shoes I would have done exactly the same.
Dear littledale, How do you class yourself as a rehab by telling your patients that someone trying to help by pouring vodka away is domestic abuse and controlling. It is no wonder she is confused. You are in for a shock because I know a girl who has been sat in a session with K.
U.F I will message you the details. Your not going to be happy.
Thought this place should have helped our daughter. Thought this therapeutic method would be less stressful than a 12 step program. Nothing could be far from the truth. We have no help or support from them. They kept our daughter in there telling us it was her choice but when she finally left we found it was pressure that kept her in and that they had created a bubble that she was afraid to step out of. My daughter was an out going girl, who had one issue that made her turn to booze. Now she has turned into a recluse who has no real direction. She spend all day telling people whats wrong with their lives. I wanted my daughter back. wish I had never agreed to her going to Littledale. The staff in this place are so two faced its shocking how quick they turn off the support. They are so cold and seem to draw pleasure from the agony I was going through. All they wanted was for my daughter to fall off the wagon and return to their establishment.
Well as long as I live that will never happen.
Not really got a bad thing to say about my time there, I enjoyed it. The point is that I went to get off drink. I did that and became so engrossed in there that I forgot the people on the outside. This is deliberate on their side to stop you wanting to leave. We you get out you just want to see your old friends and you will do what you want. Its a business that makes a lot of money, and they dont really care when you leave, thats what your there for. If you love her wait and see.
i was in pain, being sick, the runs etc.. for a week and the advice from them was smile&push on through (which is a mantra particular to littledale) i saw a doctor on a due appointment and he sent me straight to hosp for surgery with sus apendicitis. I had a high temp and all the symptoms but lettledale ignored me for a week because they couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and get me to see a doc. Neglect.
Fragging hell, and you thought you had problems UF. I may be wrong about this but if you requested a doctor and they failed to provide you with one then that is not only cruel but damn right dangerous. If your appendix had burst you would have died from septicemia. 7 days of suffering and so much for caring hey. Hope your better now Clive. When did you get out of there and how long had you been in there for. My guess is the will say that you were on withdrawals from the gear and booze. It may be an understandable mistake for littledale staff to have made. It depends on how many times you requested a doctor and if you made them aware of your pain. With appendicitis you would have been vomiting and temperature, again withdrawal symptoms can also cause this. In my opinion the staff didnt sound like they didn't care. They sound like they prejudged your illness and failed to call the doctor.
I dont get why the doctor or nurse was not in house like they used to have.
I hate this place. Smile and push on, more like do as we say or do one. I never knew how two faced Sue was till I got out. She would say one thing to me and another thing to my family. She tried to get me fall out with my family and I finally see why. I feel I could have come home sooner. The last three months were a waste of time. I was used to keep an eye on new people and that is all. I am not saying its a bad place to spend some time but that is all it is. I think Littledale is a halfway house between drink and sobriety. As soon as you are better you should leave otherwise they will give you reasons to stay. The people pretend to be your be your family and try and take over your life, but they call that assistance and building confidence. I never knew how they were causing problems at home for me. I am speaking to a solicitor because they have been withholding my mail to. The excuse they give was my key worker had to OK them first. I was never told this when I was in there. dates of my letters took weeks before they arrived to the people I sent them to.
I was hoping we can chat and exchange details.
Nasty self righteous people who are the worst people to ever get involved with. They will tell you that lots of people do well from the way they run that place. You are locked away from truth till you get out. I feel sorry for you because she has no idea what you are going through. Its a gigantic bubble that pops as soon as you are out and they don't have time for you. I know who is being talked about here and they are making all your actions sound really bad. You cant blame her when you are in there they close the outside away from us and we have only letter and phone calls to know whats happening. Wait for her and you will see. I thought Littledale was a good place. Its not when you see what damage it caused me out here. It time I wish I could have back to repair my real family. Your psycho therapy drama is just brainwashing.
I left after a few months because they started aggravating me for questioning the reasoning. They want you to hide away and run from your problems. talking them through was what I needed but telling me to move away and stay away form my friends, that is stupid. None of my friends had my problem, only me. They started to blame them and that is when I realised I was being brainwashed. I didn't like the attention Graham gave me and that is one of the reasons I left Littledale, especially when he tried to tell me what I was feeling. He tried to tell me my friends ruled my life and he was there to help me and they wouldn't be needed anymore. If I needed anything all I had to do was ask. He creeped me out and told me I misunderstood. I didn't. I have heard his type before. I know what they want in return. My word against yours is it Graham. Well at least out here people are exactly who they say they are. I am clean of drugs and I can drink when I feel like it. I been clean for over 12 months and I nearly wasn't because of Littledale. The staff stick together and make you an outcast if you complain. Be careful, go somewhere else.
Thought he would have been kicked out by now. He was always being a ### with everyone and always making out he was getting it off the women. He hinted all time he were knocking off head of house when I were there. Pissed macee off when he was falling for one of the girls, made him look like a right dick. People like him have no place near women.
I am free of Littledale and will tell you of MY experience. I had lost my way and made excuses to drink whenever and wherever I could. I lied, stole, cheated and did so many things I was ashamed of made me to drink more. I didn't care. I made my Paul's life a nightmare yet he stood by me and helped me take steps to get help.
I was assessed and visited Littledale to see if I would be suitable for a placement. They accepted me and after a month I arrived in Littledale. My first weeks I was made very comfortable, but I only thought about going home. My key worker whom you have already mentioned was really nice and made me feel more determined to see this through. A few month into the treatment and I felt like a new woman. I felt that I was free of the substance that controlled me but when I said this to Sue she made me question myself, made me feel less confident about how good I was feeling. I soon started to doubt my relation ship and started blaming Paul for why I acted the way I did. This was far from the truth yet I began to believe it. Lucky for me I go with my instincts and left Littledale because I started to feel pressure being applied to me to move away from my home town. My partner was not the reason I drank. I was.
I want you to know Unhappy Family that they do this so you have no distractions in there. If you have something to go back to you wont settle in to the programme. Wait till she comes out and see her. I will guarantee that she did get pressure put on her to leave you. It was almost immediately when she arrived. She hasn't figured it out yet . Wait for her and see.
I am free of Littledale and I dont drink and i did it in 4months.
If just heard about this site today, and after reading all the posts, I don't know where to start with all these comments about Littledale Hall. I must have been at a different rehab to the ones who have posted saying how bad it was. My time wasn't easy there, but it was no ones fault but my own. That place saved my life and I will defend it to the end...
Firstly, a message for 'inlittledale', you say you feel its your job to protect people in your care? Hows giving information on this forum about a resident to an ex-partner who you don't even know and could be dangerous for all you know, protecting? You shouldn't ever be allowed to work in a care home again, braking confidentiallity like that.
Secondly, 'peer 2010', I would like to know how long you were in Littledale for? You seem to know Graham pretty well, not! I think hes a great practitioner, and to say he was a pervert is outragous, and very nasty. As for relaxing and doing nothing, you definately couldn't have been at Littledale...I think you need to get a life.
The reason you aren't seeing may posts from people who have high regards for Littledale and doing well, is because they have no complaints. They did what they needed to in there and are moving on with their life, like myself. I went in there to change my life and have, and I'm happy.